

In recent months, there have been ongoing social media debates on whether it is okay to travel to the Hawaiian islands for tourism. I was supposed to visit in August, just after the devastating wildfires on the island of Maui. Though my trip was slated for its neighbor, the Big Island, I decided it was best that I postpone my getaway out of respect.
Nearly four months later, I rebooked my flight and was off to Kona, Hawaii, to ring in Sagittarius season with one of my close girlfriends. Still keeping those debates at the forefront of my mind, I knew that many locals expressed mixed opinions. Some felt that tourists— especially those of us from the mainland United States— came to the islands with a sense of entitlement and lack of regard for the struggles they face. On the other side of the coin are those who wanted tourism to pick back up fully, as it was their main source of income.
Photo courtesy of DeAnna Taylor
My first time to the state overall, I truly didn’t know what to expect, but I knew that I wanted to immerse myself in local culture as much as possible. I stayed at the luxurious Mauna Lani, Auberge Resorts Collection, just outside the town of Waimea. Often voted the number 1 resort on the Big Island, I was truly blown away by the property’s beauty.
Lined with tons of lush fauna and flora, it was the perfect choice for a week of R&R. We spent hours laying on the pristine beach, indulged in plenty of fresh seafood at the on-site restaurants (including the local staple, poke), got pampered at the resort spa and more. But, I think for me, the highlight was knowing the backstory of the land surrounding the hotel— a land said to almost be sacred in a sense.
Photo courtesy of DeAnna Taylor
Tucked almost directly in the center of five mountain ranges (Kohala, Hualalai, Mauna Kea, Mauna Loa, and Kilauea), Mauna Lani has been said to possess a certain energy that instantly puts you in a tranquil state. Unique in its own right, there have been times when guests could look out and see lava flowing from Mount Kilauea while Mount Mauna Kea was simultaneously hit with snow— a natural anomaly.
Just outside the hotel’s main building and pool areas were several protected fishponds and walking trails for guests to utilize and reflect around. During a morning nature walk with locally born and raised expert Ethan Souza, he told us many of the old folktales that had been passed down for generations as they related to the surrounding land.
Photo courtesy of DeAnna Taylor
“This is a hotel rooted in Hawaii, versus one simply built in Hawaii,” Souza shared. It was a quote that stuck out to me, especially as a frequent traveler, because it opened my mind up to the understanding that hotels are more than just fancy buildings for us to escape to. Some also hold tons of history and spiritual connections— especially Mauna Lani. And, because of that, I wanted to allow those principles to be the root of my trip.
“Here, we believe that the land is chief and man is the servant,” Souza added. I took that to mean that while I was there for my own rejuvenation after quite a busy year, it was also my duty as a visitor—and a human— to honor the land at all times. Whether that meant ensuring that I didn’t leave any trash on the beach, reducing my use of single-use plastics, or just respecting the wildlife and plant life around me.
Photo courtesy of DeAnna Taylor
In keeping with our theme of educating ourselves on local culture, my friend and I also opted for the resort’s sunrise canoe excursion. Meeting along the beach around 6:20 am, our group was ushered into a traditional double canoe led by our local guide, Keanu. We paddled for about 20 minutes to the middle of the ocean to our reflecting point just in front of Mount Mauna Kea— which, unbeknownst to many, is technically the tallest range in the world. As we awaited the sun’s arrival over the peak, Keanu explained to us how locals view natural elements like the sun as guiding forces to the start of their day. After a series of traditional chants that welcomed the sun, he encouraged us to then also set our intention for the day as the sun rose.
That moment was so powerful for me, and coupled with the things learned during the nature walk with Ethan, it allowed me to finish out the rest of my visit with a renewed mindset. Yes, I am here to relax and lap in a bit of paradisaical luxury, but also I should honor and respect the land and people that also made that possible. This same mindset is one that I plan to lean on during any trip that I take from here out. So thank you, Mauna Lani and Hawaii, for shifting my perspective.
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Feature image courtesy of DeAnna Taylor
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Does hearing the phrase, “you’re such a good girl,” during sex turn you on? If so, you might have a “praise kink.” When I hear the term praise kink, the church girl in me wants to immediately play “The Lady, Her Lover and Lord” while riding reverse cowgirl. But that’s not what is meant by the term praise kink.
A “praise kink” is a sexual fetish that focuses on overt praise, exaggerated compliments, and an outpouring of verbal affection.
What Is a Praise Kink?
The concept of praise kinks isn't new, but thanks to TikTok, a lot of people are now realizing they might identify as praise kinksters. Currently, the hashtag #praisek1nk is trending with 568.9 million views, with tons of creators posting about their love for compliments and words of affirmation during sex. I, too, love a good compliment during sex. I once had a lover sing my praises about how good I was at a certain bedroom activity. His affirmations gave me WAP, but does that categorize me as having a praise kink?
How To Know if You Have a Praise Kink
Just because you love receiving praise doesn’t mean you have a praise kink. Someone with a praise kink experiences an intense level of sexual excitement from being praised or verbally affirmed by their partner during sex. You might have a praise kink if hearing your partner tell you how pretty you are makes you cum or if the thing that makes sex go from good to great is hearing your partner's thoughts about how good you are at giving head. And if, during solo play, the thing that gets you all hot and bothered is recalling the times your partner called you a good girl, it’s probably a praise kink.
Generally, a kink is a sexual activity that is needed for someone to enjoy sex. When it comes specifically to praise kinks, if you need reassurance from your partner that you're sexy, or good in bed in order to orgasm, you have a praise kink.
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Examples of Praise Kink Phrases To Try With Your Partner
If you’re new to the term and looking to explore, you probably have questions about what phrases to use. It may take a lot of communication and some trial and error to figure out what phrases work best for you and your partner. Ultimately, the best phrases to use vary from person to person and are based on what sex acts you and your partner enjoy, or what parts of their body they like complimented.
To get you started, here are some generic praise kink examples to try out with your partner:
Praise Kink Examples:
- You're such a good girl/boy.
- You're so good at [insert skill].
- You look so hot when you [insert activity].
- Your [insert body part] is irresistible.
- You taste so good. I can't get enough of you.
- You just have the perfect [body part].
- Just like that… you’re doing so good.
- Who taught you how to be so good at [something?]
While many examples of praise kink involve specific verbal affirmations, praise can also come in the form of brief words or phrases like “yes,” “keep going,” or simply a moan. No matter what type you prefer, praise kink is all about finding what feels good and exciting, and turns you and your partner on the most.
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Originally published on November 4, 2022