Imagine combining the ability to alter your voice from as low as an alto to as high as a second soprano while using a variety of dialects from all over the world and possessing an overly hyper sexual imagination.
It is the perfect recipe to be a phone actress, a phone sex operator to be exact.
Before the age of 21, I never thought I would have given so many virtual blow jobs and anal penetrations to men. It all started in 2006, when I was cruising through life trying to figure out my next move since I had been kicked out of art school. I’m the type of girl who finds that working a “typical” 9-5 job is not ideal to my lifestyle, so I was intrigued when I came across an advertisement in the back of a random coupon booklet that was in search of Phone Agents and they offered health insurance and 401K plans.
Who would have thought?
I was sheltered during my teen years and discovered “party chat lines” as a form of entertainment. Although dangerous for the naïve girl, chat lines served as a perfect training tool I later discovered. Being a melanated young adult living in an upper-middle-class suburb at the time had deadened my social life, so calling chat lines had become my favorite pastime activity. After learning the logistics of how the whole system worked I was hooked. My eyes were opened to a whole new world of sexual lingo and urban slang which was new territory for me. I became that voice that men would hunt for when they wanted to have phone sex.
[Tweet "I became that voice that men would hunt for when they wanted to have phone sex."]
I asked my fiancé at the time how he felt about me taking on such a non-traditional job. He simply responded, “I expect nothing less from you as you are an unpredictable free-spirited type of girl,” and gave me his blessings.
So later that night, I hesitantly called the number in the advertisement. I was greeted by a real live voice answering on the other end. I guess I expected to encounter some saucy, raunchy recording guiding me to my fate of becoming a phone fantasy girl. After giving some basic information of why I was calling, I was invited to attend an interview/audition located in Philadelphia, PA. I was asked to not wear anything to draw attention to myself, and dress business casual. I arrived to the building which seemed to look like an average office building in the heart of the city tucked next to a trendy restaurant.
Gaining entry to the secure building, I then pressed the elevator button to the third floor as instructed (although 5 other floor options were available which till this day I have no idea what the floors contained), the doors opened and I arrived to a hallway with 3 doors. Restrooms to the right and another secure door on the left that required a badge scan to access. I entered the door on the left leading me to an open floor of individual desks, cubicle walls, and telephones all lined up in rows.
No pussy pink painted walls.
No obscene posters on the walls.
No sign of sex toys laying anywhere because in my mind that’s how I imagined it would be or something similar to the movie Girl 6.
It was clean, brightly lit, and had a water cooler-corporate office environment type of feel. I was then escorted to a group interview of about 25 other ladies of all shapes, colors, religious backgrounds and sexual identities. We were given a brief synopsis of how the business was organized and what was expected of us.
Next, I was given a sheet of paper for role playing purposes to complete the audition. I read the script and quickly prepared myself to finally put those late night phone bone skills I had so finely crafted into full-time paying work. My audition was with a male manager with feminine qualities, a seasoned phone agent who set the bar for agents to attain. He had the ability to charm, libido check (to ascertain how aroused the caller is and to inhibit the ejaculation process), and satisfy the fantasy of any eager caller on the other side of his phone line. Gleefully, I fell into the role of a hot fantasy girl ready for action letting the dirty words flow from my mouth that I learned from party chat lines.
I was surprised by how natural it felt to say such obscene words in a corporate setting without feeling any guilt or shame after. As a young lady I was taught that saying such things or to act on my sexual desires were wrong and if I wanted to be treated respectably and not be viewed as promiscuous I should never display such actions. That quickly went out the window. From everything that I said during the audition I only remember saying, “Do you want to do me doggie-style?” because when I finished I was corrected into saying the more finessed statement of, “Take me from behind”.
During the audition I only remember saying, “Do you want to do me doggie-style?” When I finished I was corrected into saying the more finessed statement of, “Take me from behind”.
As I walked back to the room to await the final decision of my employment, I heard him whisper to another coworker “I like her”. I smiled with reassuring pride that I had the job in the bag. After a short wait it was official that I had been granted the job as a phone sex operator and thrown into the lion’s den on a phone in a cubicle located in the back of office taking my first live call. I answered the ringing phone to hear an automated cue voice letting me know what type of character I was about to become. “Fantasy Girl”, Hi this is Sydney, who’s this?! I asked as bubbly as possible trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach. The caller was hot and ready to go. I said something saucy and the call lasted all of three whole minutes. “Too hot, don’t be so easy”, my mentor said. Excited for my new endeavor over the next few months I endured very detailed training which never really ended. It included studying formulated worksheet guides, writing fantasy scenarios, studying pre-made scripts, botching calls as a newbie, and taking my imagination to limits I never thought possible.
There was truly an art to phone sex.
Someone had actually figured out the art and science behind controlling an aroused man over the phone and making him pay for it with his own hard earned money. To refine the formula in short terms it included voice quality, hot statements, ego-stroking, libido checking, chit-chatting, responding accordingly, and closing which includes making sure the caller is an repeat offender, that’s how I made commissions. We were expected to maintain a quota of calls over 15 minutes. Calls would never last over 30 minutes as a safety precaution for callers who lacked self-control over spending too much money. The callers varied and most were married & lonely, in need of fulfilling a homosexual fantasy complete with feminization, a curious teen boy who had stolen his parent’s credit card or wanting a genuine girlfriend experience complete with worldly conversation. Very few females called the line. Holidays were one of our busiest times. One guy called on Thanksgiving while hiding in a closet and his family was elsewhere in the house.
“Hi this is Sydney, what’s your name baby?”
Sydney was my first given fantasy girl name and later I became Kimmi. My characters varied by what was requested from the caller which I didn’t know until I picked up the phone and heard the cue. I had to morph between being a regular hot fantasy girl, dominatrix, transsexual, transgendered, transvestite, Asian, African-American, teen, and participate in threesomes. Dominatrix was my favorite, but for some reason emulating an African-American was a challenge for me because it was attached to supporting negative stereotypes and being extremely depreciated. I couldn’t separate my true self from this fictitious character. Typically I was 18-20 years of age, blonde hair, blue eyes, 122 lbs., in college studying to be a sex therapist with 34 C tits and cute edible peach-like ass when in reality I was 21 years old, a melanated goddess, 220 lbs, 42 DD tits, not in college, and really good at making the caller believe that I was former description versus the latter. I literally had to function with having multiple personalities while still trying to remember who I was at the end of my shift which was six hours max.
The call center was open twenty-four hours a day, three hundred and sixty five days a year. Being a natural night owl, I worked a shift of 9 PM-3 AM. It paid slightly more at $12.00 per an hour and made my commute easier not having the deal with 9-5 traffic. Working anything over six hours would completely drain me mentally because I wanted to provide a personable quality experience. I connected deeply to my characters and the person on the other end of the phone. Callers would call back and feel comfortable as I related to details of previous calls. Some subjects were deemed as being “taboo” such as bestiality, necrophilia, under 18 sex, and rape. Often times, entering the realm of taboo topics took a harsh toll on me mentally, being that I was a victim of sexual abuse. I could slowly feel myself wearing thin mentally, being over virtually sexed and losing interest in sex in general.
I began to notice that I was having issues functioning with men outside of work including my fiancé.
I feared them, hated them even.
This job had become that pebble in the pond, causing a ripple effect of emotions to erupt. These deep buried emotions revealed my past that I had worked so hard to forget and hide.
I could slowly feel myself wearing thin mentally, being over virtually sexed and losing interest in sex in general.
During this vulnerable time, I had gotten closer to a female friend. I found myself attracted to her androgyny, her words, and her understanding touch. It wasn’t unusual for me to feel attracted to women, as I had recognized these feelings as early as the age of seven. My relationship with my fiancé began to deteriorate, we were growing apart. He was made aware of this female entering my life, I didn’t hide her. She made me feel comfortable again. I owned up to the fact that I had fallen in love with a woman and couldn’t bare hurting him any longer. I reasoned with my thoughts of the magnitude of hurt it would have caused if I continued with the marriage, had his children, and later decided that I preferred women when I had known all along. We mutually agreed that our broken relationship was not mendable and called off the engagement. We remained friends for a few years after until he got married and started his own family. He never blamed the job for us breaking up, but I often wondered if he had the chance to tell me “no” when I asked for his blessing, would his response still be the same.
I had given this company a year of my time. It wasn’t uncommon for girls to burnout and go on extended vacations from the call center environment. Reaching my expected quota became daunting because I could no longer find the words to satisfy the callers. During one of my calls, a supervisor was listening in for quality control purposes. The caller had gotten frustrated in mid scenario as I was describing my moist black lace panties, sliding down my creamy thighs. He wanted me to get to point so he could ejaculate and leave me virtually covered with his guilt-filled semen. I’ll never know if he reached climax, but he hung up abruptly and I muttered “F-ck IT then” and hung up the phone.
The supervisor listening in on the call flagged me for using demeaning language towards the caller stating that my words were “F-ck YOU then”, which wasn’t allowed.
[Tweet "Like used condoms, I was thrown out like trash."]
Like used condoms, I was thrown out like trash. Replacing a phone agent was like changing your panties, everyone likes something new. Ultimately I was fired over a miscommunication which happen to work out in my favor. I viewed it as my time to retire from being a phone whore. I left with a better understanding of self-worth and value.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
My time there was short-lived and I don’t tell many people about that part of my life. It’s entertaining to interact with men in a social setting while thinking in the back of my mind, which type of caller would you have been? I gambled with of idea of reinstating myself back into the phone agent game from the comfort of my home, but realized it wasn't in my best interest.
Anxiety and depression still haunted me from all those calls that left me feeling empty and worthless.
Instead, I decided to collect unemployment while continuing my college education full-time. It took a little under two years to finish my degree but it was important for me to finish what I had started, even if it was on the dime of a company that had foolishly fired me. I became an entrepreneur and started my own ecommerce company selling sex toys and lingerie. I realized that if I wanted to continue to grow, I needed to address the skeletons in my closet. I needed help so I began going to therapy sessions for my abuse as I needed to deal with my past in order to sustain a healthy future.
Have you ever made a risque career choice that helped you learn things about yourself? Share with us below!
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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You know, sometimes, when I go back and look at some of the articles that I’ve penned for the platform before, I truly can’t believe how fast time flies. Take the piece, “What's The Difference Between Being 'Religious' And Being 'Spiritual', Anyway?” — now, how in the world did it turn five this year? I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around it. And although the piece does address some key points — like the fact that there is somewhat of a difference between being spiritual and being religious (although more people should read James 1:27 in order to understand how the Bible defines religion to be…it just might surprise them) — I want to explore a deeper angle of our spirituality, along with what we should require of it.
Today, let’s look at spirituality from the perspective of “the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things,” “a quality that goes beyond religious affiliation, that strives for inspiration, reverence, awe, meaning and purpose…” (Murray and Zentner) and, perhaps, more than anything else, “the relationship between ourselves and something larger."
You know, it’s a woman by the name of Dr. Maya Spencer who once said, “Spirituality means knowing that our lives have significance in a context beyond a mundane everyday existence at the level of biological needs that drive selfishness and aggression. It means knowing that we are a significant part of a purposeful unfolding of Life in our universe.” Indeed.
And while keeping that in mind, if this is a time of your life when you would like to “clean or cleanse your spirituality” by doing things like removing negative energy, getting rid of old or counterproductive patterns and/or by stepping into an elevated space as far as your human spirit and soul are concerned, you might be pleasantly surprised by how easy and even fun that can be for you to do.
To effectively clean/cleanse your spirit, start by asking — and answering — the following five spirituality-focused questions:
What Inspires You?
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Remember how, in the intro, I shared that one definition of spirituality is “a quality that goes beyond religious affiliation, that strives for inspiration, reverence, awe, meaning and purpose…”? That is actually where I am pulling a lot of these questions from because, the reality is that focusing on things that inspire you, intentionally pondering your purpose, and also by encouraging yourself to become an overall better human being — these things definitely tie into your spiritual side whether you are “traditionally religious” or not.
And so, when it comes to cleansing your spirituality in this season, a great question to start off with is what actually inspires you? And listen, believe it or not, inspire is a pretty layered word. I say that because, while one definition is “to produce or arouse (a feeling, thought, etc.),” another is “to communicate or suggest by a divine or supernatural influence,” while synonyms of the word include excite, affect, cause, motivate, provoke, and instill. This means that if you truly want to say or do things from a place of inspiration, you need to produce things from a divine or supernatural space (interesting, right?).
The reason why it’s so important to “spring clean” in this department is, oftentimes you can be motivated or provoked by things that aren’t really all that good, healthy and/or beneficial for you (social media fast, anyone?) — things that take your mind off of what’s divine — sacred, godly and extremely good. As a result, you find yourself producing out of a mind and heart space that is compromised when it comes to your core standards, values, and even goals.
So yes, in the effort to cleanse your spirituality, begin by really reflecting on what you claim inspires you — then revisit what the word actually means…just to be sure that you are being honest with yourself about whether something or one is truly inspiring you…or not.
What Amplifies Your Purpose?
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Purpose is always something that is going to be a pretty big deal to me. That’s why I’ve written articles for the platform like “What Does It Mean To Have 'Purposeful Relationships'?,” “Please Stop Picking People Who Don't 'Fit' Your Purpose,” “The Conversation You Need To Have With Yourself Before The New Year Begins,” “How To Handle 'Purpose Fatigue'” and “5 Signs You Are Living Your True Purpose.” It’s because really, if you’re not focused, most of all, on the reason why you exist in the first place, nothing else is going to be fully, truly, and authentically fulfilling for you.
So, when it comes to this part of your spirituality, first take some time to make sure that you know what your purpose is. If you have no clue and you’re ready to find out, as a wise person once said, wisdom comes in the questions, even more than the answers, and Rockwood Leadership Institute has a whopping 132 questions that you can ask yourself in order to get to the root of what your purpose is here. On the flip side, if you do know and you’re just not feeling completely satisfied in what you are currently doing as it relates to executing your purpose, it sounds to me like you are going through a bit of a “purpose growth spurt,” and yes, there is such a thing.
For instance, I am very clear on what my purpose in life is — I am here to teach what I study and research about when it comes to the topics of covenant marriage, sex, and the biblical Sabbath. All are covenant principles that have been unbelievably compromised in a thousand different ways. However, as I evolve, transform, and mature, my understanding of what I know does as well, and that “upgrades” how I approach and share my purpose with others. You see, purpose is never supposed to be stagnant…it is ever-shifting as far as how you accomplish things within it.
And that’s why, spiritually, it’s so important that you make sure that you are AMPLIFYING YOUR PURPOSE. To amplify is “to make larger, greater, or stronger; enlarge; extend.” If you are not putting forth the effort to do just this, there is some spiritual cleansing that must be done because, if there is one thing about a person’s purpose, it’s the fact that it’s HUGE which means that there will always be plenty to do within it until their time on this earth ends.
What Makes You Love Better…and More?
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I believe I’ve mentioned before that a show that I loathe with every fiber of my being (and there really is so much to choose from these days — SMDH) is TV One’s For My Man. Not only is it a program that discourages full-level accountability, but it irks me to no end every time that it says that a woman did some heinous crime in the name of love. According to Scripture, GOD IS LOVE (I John 4:8&16). Not only that, but the Love Chapter in Scripture has a very healthy, sane, and mature take on how we should love and require love in return (I’m going to share two translations of I Corinthians 13:4-8 for expanded context):
“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always ‘me first,’ doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies.” (I Corinthians 13 — Message)
“Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].” (I Corinthians 13 — AMPC)
Now, think about what you see displayed on television when it comes to relationships. Based on these verses, is it love? Is it really? Ponder all of the relationship content that’s on social media. Does it sound like this kind of love? Does it really? The times when you’ve done things that you know were purely rooted in selfishness, impatience, and/or refusing to do for others what you would want them to do for you — how can any of that be loving? If you do believe in God and you also believe that you were made in his image (Genesis 1:26-28), this means that a part of your own spiritual DNA is love. This also means that if you know that your love has been tainted by material or physical things (which, by definition, is the opposite of spirituality), it’s time to make some real adjustments.
That said, take some time, think about the people and things that you profess to love, and ask yourself if it’s really love or is it lust or entitlement or immaturity. Then ask yourself what you can do to love those individuals and items better.
Remember, since you are made from Love, it’s important that you love like you are.
How Effective Are You When It Comes to Compassion?
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Personally, I think that whenever someone does something reckless and then follows up with the Bible says not to judge, I find it to be a supreme level of gaslighting. The context of that verse is saying that in the way that you judge, you will be judged and that you should make sure that you are right in the area that you are judging before you judge someone else (Matthew 7:1-5); however, be clear that judgment is a form of accountability which is why there are also verses like “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment” (John 7:24 — NKJV) that exist — not to mention the fact that discernment literally means “keen judgment” and the Good Book supremely promotes that: “Strike a scoffer, and the simple will become wary; rebuke one who has understanding, and hewill discern knowledge.” (Proverbs 19:25 — NKJV)
And that’s why, any time the topic of “don’t judge” comes up, I am known for saying something along the lines of, “PUH-LEEZE. If I say ‘You’re cute,’ I just judged you. Humans don’t have a problem with judgment; they don’t like criticism or accountability.” And gee, is that unfortunate because it’s hard to grow without both of those things. However, the key that comes with being on the giving end of criticism or holding someone accountable is applying a quote by author Anne McCaffrey: “Make no judgments where you have no compassion.”
This world has a lot of…stuff going on, stuff that needs to be addressed and stuff that needs compassion applied while it is. By definition, compassion is about having concern for others, especially if what you see them going through, they have either told you or you can discern is tied to some level of internal suffering. And that’s why, in the spirit of spiritual cleansing, something else to ask is if you are holding others and even yourself accountable while operating from a place of genuine care and concern or is your ego just wanting to elevate itself or prove that it’s right?
You know, we’re living in a time when, more and more, people are frowning on humility which is unfortunate because a definite quality that comes with being a compassionate person is absolutely that — “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4 — NKJV)
It really is almost impossible to be profoundly spiritual without being a compassionate person. Is this an area that needs some “cleaning up”? If so, there is no time like the present.
What Encourages You to Be Wiser and Full of More Truth?
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Musician Jimi Hendrix once said, “Knowledge speaks, wisdom listens.” Aristotle once said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Confucius once said, “By three methods we may learn wisdom: first, by reflection, which is the noblest; second, by imitation, which is the easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest." Thomas Jefferson once said, “The wisest men know their weakness.” Author Gift Gugu Mona once said, “A woman of peace is a wise woman who understands that peace is more powerful than trying to prove a point.”
And what does it mean to be wise?
People who can regulate their emotions are wise. People who actually learn from their experiences (and the experiences of others, so that they don’t have to experience everything) are wise. People who know how to tame their ego are wise. People who are flexible/adaptable, non-materialistic, are self-aware, can be relied upon for great perspectives and insights, and are teachable are wise. The self-disciplined are wise. The patient are wise. The non-entitled are wise. Those who prioritize well are wise.
Those who do not live above their means (across the board), they are also wise. And there is no way that you can be wise without being willing to be completely honest, yes truthful with yourself about where you could stand to gain more wisdom and what must be done — and sometimes sacrificed — in order to get it.
And so, as I close this piece out, when it comes to spring cleaning your spirituality, ask yourself who and what encourages and enables you to become a wiser individual — AND who and what hinders that from transpiring. Then be honest with yourself about what is challenging you for the better and what, frankly, is only dumbing you down. Indeed, in order to live out the full potential of your spirituality, wisdom must come into play. However, it’s important to keep in mind that, for wisdom to truly flourish, it is a conscious choice — a daily decision.
And it will never come so long as you are making up excuses, justifying poor behavior (check out “Accountability Time: Let's Stop Calling It A 'Mistake' When It Was A 'Choice'”) or lying to yourself about what needs to be done. Taking those approaches to life is literally the opposite of being wise.
A French priest by the name of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin once said, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” I can only imagine how much the quality of our lives would improve if we took that in on a very serious level.
The good news is you can choose to do it — right here and right now.
See yourself as a spiritual being.
Clean/cleanse whatever hinders that reality.
And watch how you begin to soar, supernaturally, by design, because of it, sis.
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