If you look up the dictionary definition of "code-switching", you'll find it described as "the practice of alternating between two or more languages or varieties of language in conversation." However, for me, it was more than going from AAVE (African-American Vernacular English) to Standard American English. It meant a complete personality and appearance overhaul. Code-switching is expected to some degree by prospective employers, but I was creating unreasonably high standards for myself that I failed over and over again to live up to.
Full disclosure: I was a serial job hopper.
Unlike most people who probably dread the interview process but thrive in their profession, I am the complete opposite. Interviewing is a high for me akin to an Esports player reaching the highest score possible in their favorite video game. I would apply to jobs I had no interest in just to challenge myself. I loved researching the company, specific departments, and their executives. I'd scour social media to see if there are any photos of the employees in the office so that I'd know exactly how to dress. I'd ignore any red flags like negative press and unfavorable employee reviews because job-hopping can put a dent in your wallet and I needed financial stability.
The company's Instagram, Twitter, and Glassdoor pages helped me craft exactly the right answers and verbiage to use. I was a real-life workforce Barbie who at the change of an outfit could transform into whoever I thought I needed to be. If my interviewer mentioned liking some activity or artist, I loved it too. Despite living across the country from my tight-knit family who celebrated all holidays and special events together, I'd tell them I was a workaholic who didn't mind coming to the office on Christmas and New Year's Eve. I'd receive an offer letter with a potential start date shortly after walking out of my interview. There was only one problem:
These carefully crafted responses, outfits, and quirks that got me the job were not my own.
I had mastered the art of creating the ideal employee. It was easy to keep the facade going for a few rounds of interviews, but I eventually became emotionally exhausted. I had always been qualified for the position I accepted but my disposition and the quality of my work would start to suffer. I would be bombarded with questions about the sudden change. My work friends and manager would voice their concerns, thinking that something must be wrong. There was nothing wrong. They were just beginning to meet the real me. A version of the real me whose self-esteem had whittled away almost completely as a result of each failed attempt to find fulfillment by pretending to be anyone other than myself.
Usually, at this point, I would conclude that I had picked the wrong field or company. At my last job, it finally clicked that the problem might lie within me. After searching for answers to my dilemma, I found that journaling helped. I recognized the pattern and what triggered my sudden shift in mood. Most of my jobs became unbearable around the same timeframe. I noticed that suppressing my personality had become unbearable by the second month at most of the places I had worked. I knew that the best thing for me after this realization would be to hand in my two weeks' and continue the self-exploration process.
Instead of hopping right back into the job search, I took some time to reflect. I took accountability for the actions that led to me being chronically unhappy in all my previous positions. I always knew I had the skills on paper to excel in the role, but I never felt that who I was as a person was good enough to land the gig. I realized that I had never given my real self a chance. I felt that my idealized persona was more socially acceptable. Acing every interview only further supported this belief. The reception I received from my previous colleagues after my mood shift was not because there was anything wrong with me. They just noticed a drastic change. If the roles were reversed, I might be confused as well.
I've since stopped code-switching completely and have taken a different approach to researching a company.
Now, when I investigate, I make sure that the company's values are in line with mine, maintain a high retention rate, and that employees are compensated fairly. My next interview outfit will reflect my style and any rapport built with my interviewer will be genuine. This may have adverse effects but I know that any job offer I don't receive due to not being the best-fit personality-wise will save me time and suffering.
Being true to yourself is more rewarding than any fleeting external validation.
xoNecole is always looking for new voices and empowering stories to add to our platform. If you have an interesting story or personal essay that you'd love to share, we'd love to hear from you. Contact us at submissions@xonecole.com.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert