Coco Jones On The Power Of "No" & Freeing Herself From The Fear Of Being Labeled 'Difficult'
Coco Jones’ journey through the industry has often tried to be silenced by the masses, but she never allowed her voice to go unheard. From early exposure as a child star on Disney Channel’s Next Big Thing competition and Let It Shine with Tyler James Williams and Trevor Jackson to using her personal platform to advocate for darker-skinned Black women at the hands of colorism, the R&B crooner hasn’t shied away from the opportunity to be seen in spaces that weren’t meant for women like her.
However, there was once a point in time when young Jones didn’t have the same amount of confidence in her decisions. Surprisingly, Jones admitted to me that her relationship with boundary setting and even the word “no” was not always a close-knit relationship.
“Over the past few years, I have grown to love the word 'no,'” she told xoNecole. While she admitted that she used to think it was a “very bad word” associated with being difficult to work with and diva-like behavior, she now knows that there’s nothing negative about setting boundaries and doing what’s right for yourself. “I literally would not [say 'no'] because I didn't want to be perceived that way, but I think knowing your worth makes a 'no' [a] very useful word. Being confident that the opportunities that are for you will be for you makes ‘no’ a safe word.”
Jones continued, “I think standing firm on your boundaries helps with being courageous, and being courageous is similar to being confident. I think they go hand in hand. You have to believe that you will [still] have good things. You have to believe that the right people will come into your life when you push out the wrong people. That takes courage, which I think in turn builds your confidence.”
Courtesy of Pure Leaf
While the word is only two letters long, it carries a lot of impact, and when using said word, sometimes you have to deliver it subtly sweet. Enter stage left, Jones' partnership with Pure Leaf for a second year in a row to dismantle the myth that saying "no" has to be a sour, instead of sweet, experience for the person delivering the package and receiving it.
Last year, Jones introduced viewers to the Subtly Sweet "Hotline," where the singer helped callers achieve the perfect balance of sweetness and bold boundary-setting. Fast forward to 2023, Jones is seen taking her acting chops to the small screen as she stars in "As Seen on Pure Leaf" – an in-faux-mercial promoting the power of "no," via Coco's TikTok and on Peacock's Streaming Service. When presented with the idea of partnering with Pure Leaf, Jones was instantly aligned with the brand based on her industry experience and "what it takes to really survive as yourself and to not lose yourself," she explained to xoNecole.
"Overall, it just really is a useful tool. I think so much of our lives, we feel this pressure to succumb to what people say we have to be or to people please," Jones continued. "I love that me and Pure Leaf are very aligned when it comes to saying no and being okay with staying true to your boundaries."
As a Black woman in the industry, Jones is no stranger to the trope of being labeled as the angry Black girl or the difficult diva in the entertainment world just because she wanted to say the once-deemed ugly two-letter word. Now, Jones uses her platform loud and proud to show her fans and followers the power of standing firm in your power and setting your boundaries. As a public figure, she recognizes that she has a sense of responsibility to the younger generation following her to be as true to herself as possible.
“I am on a platform, and I think my fans and honestly, the world, can really tell what's authentic and what's forced, especially with social media and all of the constant content that's out there,” Jones added.
“People would be steered incorrectly if they were to see me succumb to the pressures and be somebody that I'm not authentically, after all of this time.”
For Jones, choosing the road less traveled in an effort to remain authentic and true to herself is more satisfying than being someone that the industry would attempt to mold her into. “It was more important to choose the longer route, if it meant saying 'no' to the necessary things so that somebody watching my journey can feel motivated to continue to be their truest self in their journey, no matter how long it takes,” Jones added.
Joe Scarnici / Stringer/Getty Images
While she was growing up in the public eye, Jones admitted to xoNecole that she didn't experience much pushback because she was "so happy to be doing any of the roles." Rather than standing her ground, Jones did not want to jeopardize the opportunity to be in the room. Fast forward to her adulthood, she uses the strength that she has accumulated to become more in tune with herself and her voice to set her boundaries and subtly, sweetly "put people back in line."
Day by day, Jones practices boundaries by working on herself internally - including all aspects of emotional, spiritual, and mental well-being - and being aligned with the "why's" in her life. "I think one of my non-negotiables in general that is across the board is dishonesty. Especially being a child of this industry, I'm so traumatized by lies. I just can't," Jones admitted.
"I need honesty in all regards, even if it's a harsh truth. I respect people telling me truths that are not that easy to say because I hold honesty in very high regard. That's one of my non-negotiables in everything - personal, friendship, relationship, business."
For her supporters who may want to practice setting their own boundaries but don't want to sound too brash, Jones suggests practicing with yourself before going straight into the lion's den with others. "Honestly, practice in the mirror as well. That's something that I do. I will write down my points, and they will be very articulate, very educated, and then you can't push back because I've already practiced in the mirror," she added jokingly.
Specifically, when it comes to her role as Hilary Banks in Peacock's Bel-Air, Jones admires her character for being someone who doesn't fool around when it comes to her boundaries being crossed. While the original Hilary, portrayed by Karyn Parsons, didn't originally look like Coco Jones, the "ICU" singer adored the Zillennial fictional Bel-Air princess for her confidence, decisiveness, and not taking shit from anyone when it comes to following her own dreams.
Tim Mosenfelder / Contributor/Getty Images
"One thing about Hilary, she knows how to set her boundaries very subtly [and] sweetly. She might be a little salty too, but that representation can change the outcome of someone's lives. I wasn't necessarily intimidated; I was more honored that I got to do that," Jones said. "I really do learn from Hilary how to be a boss, to be decisive, to be self-assured in places where you have to stick up for yourself."
Retrospectively, before Jones and I closed out our conversation, I asked her where she could personally improve on her boundary-setting practices. "Lord, is this therapy?" she laughed. While I assured her that our conversation is a safe space, as it always is whenever we chop it up, she thought back to the notion of mixing business with pleasure and the idea that the political is always personal.
"I need to work more on my boundaries with friendship and business. I think a lot of the times, you get so comfortable working with glam and people really close to you. They'd start off as business, and then you become friends, and you're like, Let's hang out, but then it's like, Okay, now I can't say the thing that bothered me in the business side because now we're friends. What do I do?" she added. "I need to work a little bit more on my boundaries of keeping those lines clear and not blurry."
For more of Coco, follow her on Instagram @cocojones.
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For Us, By Us: How HBCU Alumni Are Building Legacies Through Entrepreneurship
Homecoming season is here, and alumni are returning to the yard to celebrate with their friends and family at the historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs) that have changed their lives forever.
No matter where their life journeys have taken them, for HBCU students from near and far, returning to where it all started can invoke feelings of nostalgia, appreciation for the past, and inspiration for the future.
The seeds for these entrepreneurs were planted during their time as students at schools like Spelman, North Carolina A&T, and more, which is why xoNecole caught up with Look Good Live Well’s Ariane Turner, HBCU Buzz’s Luke Lawal and Morehouse Senior Director of Marketing and Comms and Press Secretary Jasmine Gurley to highlight the role their HBCU roots play in their work as entrepreneurs, the legacy they aim to leave behind through the work that they do, and more as a part of Hyundai’s Best In Class initiative.
On Honoring HBCU Roots To Create Something That Is For Us, By Us
Ariane Turner
Courtesy
When Ariane Turner launched Look Good, Live Well, she created it with Black and brown people in mind, especially those with sensitive skin more prone to dryness and skin conditions like acne and eczema.
The Florida A&M University graduate launched her business to create something that addressed topical skin care needs and was intentional about its approach without negative terminology.
Turner shared that it is important to steer clear of language often adopted by more prominent brands, such as “banishing breakouts” or “correcting the skin,” because, in reality, Turner says there is nothing wrong with the way that our skin and bodies react to various life changes.
“I think what I have taken with me regarding my HBCU experience and translated to my entrepreneurial experience is the importance of not just networking,” Turner, the founder and CEO of Look Good, Live Well, tellls xoNecole.
“We hear that in business all the time, your network is your net worth, but family, there’s a thing at FAMU that we call FAMU-lee instead of family, and it’s very much a thing. What that taught me is the importance of not just making relationships and not just making that connection, but truly working on deepening them, and so being intentional about connecting with people initially, but staying connected and building and deepening those relationships, and that has served me tremendously in business, whether it’s being able to reach back to other classmates who I went to school with, or just networking in general.”
She adds, “I don’t come from a business background. As soon as I finished school, I continued with my entrepreneurial journey, and so there’s a lot of that traditional business act and the networking, those soft skills that I just don’t have, but I will say that just understanding how to leverage and network community and to build intentional relationships is something that has taken me far and I definitely got those roots while attending FAMU.”
On Solving A Very Specific Need For The Community
Luke Lawal Jr.
Courtesy
When Luke Lawal Jr. launched HBCU Buzz, his main focus was to represent his community, using the platform to lift as they climbed by creating an outlet dedicated to celebrating the achievements and positive news affecting the 107 historically HBCUs nationwide.
By spotlighting the wonderful things that come from the HBCU community and coupling it with what he learned during his time at Bowie State University, Lawal used that knowledge to propel himself as an entrepreneur while also providing his people with accurate representation across the internet.
“The specific problem in 2011 when I started HBCU Buzz was more so around the fact that mainstream media always depict HBCUs as negative,” Lawal says. “You would only see HBCUs in the mainstream media when someone died, or the university president or someone was stepping down. It was always bad news, but they never shed light on all the wonderful things from our community."
So, I started HBCU Buzz to ensure the world saw the good things that come from our space. And they knew that HBCUs grew some of the brightest people in the world, and just trying to figure out ways to make sure our platform was a pedestal for all the students that come through our institutions.”
“The biggest goal is to continue to solve problems, continue to create brands that solve the problems of our communities, and make sure that our products, our brands, our companies, and institutions are of value and they’re helping our community,” he continues. “That they’re solving problems that propel our space forward.”
On How Being An HBCU Alum Impacts The Way One Shows Up In The World
Jasmine Gurley
Courtesy
Jasmine Gurley is a proud North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University alum. She is even more delighted with her current role, which enables her to give back to current HBCU students as the Senior Director of Brand Marketing and Communications and official press secretary at Morehouse College.
“It was a formative experience where I really was able to come into my own and say yes to all the opportunities that were presented to me, and because of that, it’s been able to open the doors later in life too,” says Gurley of her experience at North Carolina A&T. “One thing I love about many HBCUs is that we are required to learn way more about African American history than you do in your typical K through 12 or even at the higher ed level."
She adds, “It allowed us to have a better understanding of where we came from, and so for me, because I’m a storyteller, I’m a history person, I’m very sensitive to life in general, being able to listen to the stories and the trials that our ancestors overcame, put the battery pack in my back to say, ‘Oh nothing can stop me. Absolutely nothing can stop me. I know where I came from, so I can overcome something and try anything. And I have an obligation to be my ancestors’ wildest dreams. Simultaneously, I also have a responsibility to help others realize that greatness.
Gurley does not take her position at an HBCU, now as a leader, lightly.
“People think I’m joking when I say I’m living the dream, but I really am,” she notes. “So I wake up every day and know that the work that I do matters, no matter how hard it might be, how frustrating it may be, and challenging it. I know the ripple effect of my work, my team, and what this institution does also matter. The trajectory of Black male experiences, community, history, and then just American advancement just in general.”
On the other hand, through her business, Sankofa Public Relations, Gurley is also on a mission to uplift brands in their quest to help their respective communities. Since its inception in 2017, Sankofa PR has been on a mission to “reach back and reclaim local, national, and global communities by helping those actively working to move” various areas of the world, focusing on pushing things forward for the better.
“Through Sankofa, we’ve worked with all different types of organizational brands and individuals in several different industries, but I would think of them as mission-based,” says Gurley.
“So with that, it’s an opportunity to help people who are trying to do good in the world, and they are passionate about what they’re doing. They just need help with marketing issues, storytelling, and branding, and that’s when my expertise can come into play. Help them get to that moment where they can tell their story through me or another platform, and that’s been super fulfilling.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
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The End Of The Road? Zoë Kravitz And Channing Tatum Reportedly Split
Rumors are circulating that Zoë Kravitz and Channing Tatum's engagement has come to an end. Adding to the intrigue, two hours prior to the news of their split becoming public, Channing celebrated the exciting announcement that he and Zoë would reunite for an upcoming alien invasion movie entitled Alpha Gang.
Some folks are saying that October is now “uncuffing season” as partners won’t have to deal with the weight and expectations that come with this time of year. From matching Halloween costumes to voting to Thanksgiving and Christmas, it seems the new cuffing season has moved to January.
In August 2021, Zoë and Channing were first rumored to be romantically involved after being photographed riding together through the streets of New York City on a BMX bike. The following month, they were seen leaving the Met Gala together, and Tatum confirmed their relationship on Halloween by posting a picture of them wearing a couples costume from Martin Scorsese's iconic 1976 film Taxi Driver on Instagram.
Instagram/@channingtatum
After collaborating on Zoë's directorial debut, Blink Twice, where Channing played a starring role, their relationship blossomed into a full-out romance. Approximately a year later, the Step Up star popped the question.
Because the streets are always watching, PEOPLE reported that Channing joined Zoë in seeing a production of a play by Blink Twice costar Levon Hawke in New York City's Red Hook neighborhood on Oct. 6. Most recently, Kravitz has been seen in public without her engagement ring, notably during an outing with her Big Little Lies co-star Shailene Woodley.
So the news of the split kinda comes as a surprise as we were just oozing over the couple’s undeniable chemistry during their Blink Twice press run in August. Channing and Zoë openly discussed their relationship and collaborated on multiple videos that went viral.
Even proud papa Lenny Kravitz gave his approval. During an interview with BBC’s Radio 2, he said, "He was raised well. So, you know, he’s got manners. He’s charming. He’s a soulful human being. And so, he’s become part of the family quite quickly. He fits and they're in love. We’re going to have a wedding next year."
As we mourn this breakup, let’s run back some memorable moments from the possibly uncoupled pair.
"Art is our love language."
When asked about future collaborations with her boo during the premiere of Blink Twice on Aug. 23, Zoë shared, "I think it's what we love, and we love talking about it, and experiencing it, and supporting each other.” Channing chimed in saying, “This is what I'll say about creating with someone that you are with or love: I suggest it. If you are thinking about having a kid or if you're thinking about getting married, go find the hardest possible creative project with your partner.”
“I got you forever.”
Channing took to Instagram to share an adoring photo of him holding Zoë. He captioned the photo, “This little sweet. She So tired bro. Every time I wondered if she’d break…. She just kept going and going and going. Always on the dig for truth. She pour’d every single ounce of her into this film. I’m so proud to stand ten toes down for her, this film and everyone in it. forever. Knowing what it took to make it. No one will ever know.”
The last line took us out: “Thank you for finding me and seeing me. I got you forever. Me and you back to back against it all. I’ll never blink. Let’s go. #blinktwice”
GOAT Talk
On Complex’s GOAT Talk, a show where stars are prompted to reveal their favorites of all time, Channing and Zoë disclosed their go-to song for singing in the shower, their beloved ad-lib line from Blink Twice, and their stance on conspiracy theories and their favorite rapper. The moment Channing challenged Zoë’s answer that Catwoman is the best superhero of all time was just too cute.
“The Lie Detector determined…”
The cast of Blink Twice underwent Vanity Fair's well-known lie detector test, facing a barrage of probing questions. Among the inquiries were: Did Channing Tatum and Naomi Watts ever irritate Zoë Kravitz during the filming of Blink Twice? Did Naomi ever pilfer anything from the set? Did Channing's portrayal of Gambit in Deadpool & Wolverine surpass his personal expectations?
Best of all were the moments you saw Zoë and Channing look at each other adoringly and when they would finish each other sentences. “We are equally cool,” Zoë beamed.
Puppy Love
The pair hung out with BuzzFeed and a slew of adorable puppies while chatting about their favorite improvised moment on set, who has the best rizz — which is apparently Channing according to Zoë — and their first impressions of each other. Not only did they binge-watch Love Island together but they also boasted they would win Love Is Blind if they were on the show.
The Pressure
Zoë Kravitz recently sat down with Esquirefor an interview and got real about her thoughts on becoming a parent. She shared that she's always kinda thought motherhood might not be her thing. “For a long time, I felt like there was something wrong with me. I was waiting for this light to go off in my head, and it never did. When you’re younger, you’re like, ‘Well, I can’t have kids. I’m too young! It’d be crazy.’”
Her viewpoint on childbirth and parenthood has evolved as she has matured and witnessed the societal pressure placed on women to reproduce. While she recognizes the immense strength and courage required to carry and raise a child, Kravitz believes that women should not be made to feel obligated to do so.
Zoë continued, “For a lot of people that have children, it is this giant, life-changing event – and I do think there is a certain amount of focus and respect that they should get from their community. There’s a lot of pressure on women to have children, and there’s a feeling that if you don’t, you don’t have purpose here.” The director feels a special connection to her new movie akin to giving birth.
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