Ah, the clitoris. The little part of our body that, to this day, medical professionals and researchers cannot find any purpose other than sexual satisfaction for. It plays no role in reproduction whatsoever and, even when you read about the horrific crimes committed against women as it relates to female circumcision (also known as FSM—Female Genital Mutilation), the overall objective is to remove all sexual pleasure from them (some very unwell people think that if a woman is without her clitoris, she won't cheat on her partner. Ugh).
So, if our clitoris—that pea-shaped organ that is located directly above our urethral opening—is only for the purpose of sexual pleasure, is it really that big of a deal? Heck yeah! Let me tell it, since the Creator saw fit to give us something solely for that purpose, it deserves to be researched, celebrated and pampered, just as much as possible.
That's why, in honor of something that makes us distinctively female and sexual, here are 10 things about your own clitoris that you may or may not know.
1. Your Grandma (or Her Friends) First Started Saying “Clit”
OK, maybe it's not literally your grandma who coined the "clit" word, but I will say this—don't sleep on what seniors talk about or what they'll tell you if you outright ask 'em. Especially when it comes to sex. Especially since 25 percent of them have sex once a week. Shoot, a friend of mine's mother, who is in her 90s, has told me many stories that have made me blush over the years.
Anyway, the reason why this is an interesting fact is, it wasn't until the 50s that folks even started referring to our cute lil' organ as a "clit" rather than a "clitoris". And yes, in my mind, it was women who were in their 20s who did which would be right around a lot of our grandparents age.
As far as where the word actually derives from, some think it's a Greek one that is "birthed" out of words like kleiein ("to sheathe") or or kleis ("key") or maybe even kleitoriazein ("to tickle"). Since my clit and I can personally relate to all of those words, I get why folks think so.
2. It’s a Little Penis. Kinda.
If you've ever heard someone say that, while in our mother's womb, we all started out with a penis, the more accurate statement would probably be that we all started out with a clitoris and a man's grew into a bigger one known as a penis.
The reason why I say that is because penises and clitorises have quite a bit in common. They are both vascular structures, they both come with foreskin (what we have is a clitoral hood. By the way, if you want to remove it, that's considered to be a type of plastic surgery), and they both get larger when we become sexually aroused and blood rushes down to that area. Yes, penises and their purpose basically fork off after that, but it is kind of a trip how much clitorises are similar, huh?
(Oh, if you want to know the technical terminology of what transpires in the womb, all fetuses start off with a genital tubercle that becomes a clitoris or penis between week four and nine of gestation; however, parents aren't typically able to see which it is on a sonogram until around week 20 or so.)
3. Most of Your Clitoris Is Inside of Your Body
The outer part of your clitoris is known as the "glans", but there is another part that is inside of your body that is so much more than what meets the eye. The larger portion is called the corpora cavernosa; it's what the glans is connected to and it's made up of spongy erectile tissue. Something else clitorises have are crura (we'll get more into that in just a sec) and clitoral vestibules. Clitoral vestibules are located underneath the crura; they are what become full of blood whenever our man is doin' it right— umm, I mean arousing us properly. #wink
4. It Contains Tiny Little Legs
I don't know if this is gonna creep you out or not, but apparently the internal part of our clitoris also comes with legs. Chile. This is where the crura (from the Latin word "cruris" which means "leg" or "pillar") comes in. Their legs are three inches long and they hang downward on our vaginal walls towards the canal to form a shape that is kind of like a wishbone. From what I've read, we've each got two of them.
5. It Has a “Sexual Stopping Point”
If there is ever a time during sexual activity when, your clitoris goes from feeling amazing to uncomfortable or even outright painful, that's nothing to be super alarmed about. Many medical sexual professionals describe clitorises as being "finicky" because while during one experience, a certain kind of stimulation may feel great, the next time "she" might prefer something different. Not only that, but once your clitoris is engorged, for your man to continue to stimulate her, it could feel pretty irritating; that's because she's already filled with so much blood. In this instance, the best thing to do would be to direct him to other erogenous zones, just so some of the pressure can be taken off of her.
6. Some Are as Large as a (Gherkin) Pickle
The average clitoris is one-half inch in length and one-half centimeter in width. But just like each vulva (the outer part of our vagina) is unique, so is each of our clitorises. On the size tip, I actually read that some can get as big as a Gherkin pickle. That's somewhere between 1-3 inches.
7. It Swells Up to 300 Percent When Aroused
When we're not sexually aroused or stimulated, our corpora cavernosa—you know, the erectile tissue that we already discussed—hangs out straight towards are thighs. But when our man touches the right spot, the corpora cavernosa curls up, almost as if it's giving our body a hug. Whenever this happens, our clitoris swells anywhere between 50-300 percent. That's why "she" sometimes feels bigger during or right after sexual activity.
8. It’s Got Double the Amount of Nerves As a Penis
Guess how many nerves are in a man's penis? Approximately 4,000 and yes, that's a lot. Now guess how many nerve sensory fibers are in a clitoris? A whopping 8,000! Plus, whenever we're having an orgasm, our clitoris alerts 15,000 other nerves in and around our pelvic region which is why our climaxes are oftentimes so intense. It's because of this that our clitoris wins the award for being the most sensitive part of our bodies. Nothing even comes close.
9. It Grows As You Age. At the Same Time, It Does Not Age.
We all know that, when we are intentional about self-care and pampering, for the most part, Black don't crack. Well, now you can tweak that saying with "Clits don't crack either" because they don't. It doesn't matter if we're 18 or 80, our clits still function the same way.
Now what may happen is, due to things like childbirth, less collagen production, a drop in estrogen (due to menopause), etc., your clitoris may get larger with time (around 2 ½ times its original size) but hey—I don't know one man who has ever had a problem with a clitoris pretty much doing whatever it wants to do. So, if yours does get larger at some point, that just brings a whole new meaning to "There's more to love." Lucky you. Lucky him too.
10. Your Clitoris Is Basically the Outside Part of Your G-Spot
You've probably heard that your G-spot is a little area that's 2-3 inches inside of your vagina, on the side facing your tummy. You'll know that you've reached it because its texture is a lot like a walnut. Well, another way to locate is to consider the fact that it's basically on the flip side of where your clitoris is. So, if you can't always reach your G-spot, no worries; your C-spot is always ready, willing and able to make it a great night for you. Check out "Blended Orgasms Need To Be The Next To-Do On Your Sexual Hit List", "What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?" and "Want A More Intense Orgasm? These Tips Are Sure To Make You Cream" to read more about why we say (and wholeheartedly believe) that.
BONUS: How to Handle an Irritated Clit
If for some reason, your clitoris is itching a lot, it could be because something is stuck in your clitoral hood. Dipping a Q-tip into some sweet almond, avocado or grapeseed oil and then gently wiping around the clitoral hood can help to dislodge any dried discharge, a loose hair or lint. But if the itching is incessant, that could be the sign of an infection (especially if it's associated with redness or swelling). If this happens, contact your doctor to see if you may have a yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis or something else.
Oh, and if you're considering getting your clitoris pierced, check out "The Complete (& NSFW) Guide To Getting A Genital Piercing", just so you can know what you are getting you—and her—into.
Now that you're well-versed about your clit, hopefully you've got a newfound love for her and all that she does to bring you joy and pleasure. Talk about good things coming in small packages. Good lookin' out, girl.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak