It's no secret that for the past few years most of us were dying to get a glimpse of Ciara's prayer. In the wake of the disastrous dating scene, we desperately needed answers, sis. It was evident that God had done it for her, delivered her from Future unto Russell, and we wanted in on the secret. So when Summer Walker released her album and blessed us with Ciara's prayer, it quickly stirred up a frenzy. I went on Instagram and within the hour, at least 20 women I followed had posted it on their Instagram Stories. Let's not even talk about the running commentary ranging from, "I will recite this prayer daily" to "I am going to have it tattooed on me."
While this is commendable that we finally realize that our love lives need Jesus, I felt we were missing the point. That same evening during my quiet prayer time God said to me, "What you need is Russell's prayer in order to see the whole picture." You see we are so accustomed to thinking that women are the only ones that give God their requests for a partner, specifications and all. We forget that just as God is protective of his Queens, he is just as loving and protective over his Kings. God loves his daughters, but if at any point God felt Ciara was not ready to receive Russell, then she was going to have to wait and the opposite scenario would be true.
Both Ciara and Russell had to have a conducive environment within themselves individually and around them in order to envision, manifest and nurture this relationship we now admire. Once I got this, God was like, "I'm not done yet, just so you know the power to deliver what Ciara asked for wasn't vested in what she said. It wasn't her choice of words, her diction, that got the spirit moving." Well, OK so what was it? Stay with me, sis. The following analysis will tell you what you need to know.
Instead of worrying about what Ciara said, our focus should be on what she did to prepare herself for what she had asked for.
Many of us have been where Ciara was, right at the end of ourselves, in pain and in dire need of a breakthrough. It's not enough to decide we want better, we have to do the prep work in order to receive better. Proverbs 18:22 says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." Please note what is found is a wife, not a girlfriend that can one day be a wife, not a woman who is ready to settle -- a wife! That means you are whole, healed, and secure prior to being found.
Earlier on in March this year, Russell was on Ciara's Level Up Radio on Apple talking about he long had a crush on her way before they met. Russell has been vocal on how he once told someone after watching Ciara's video that he would one day end up with her, yet it was a while before they eventually met at a basketball game in 2015 and started dating shortly after.
They both had preparatory work to do and they were each other's answered prayer.
I feel there is a great misconception that Ciara's prayer (or the woman's prayer) is sent out and God then drags Russell to come along your way. As a matter of principle, at some point, we have had our own version of this prayer. What differentiates Ciara's prayer is that her actions complemented her prayer. She did not recite the prayer and wait for Russell under another man. She did not recite the prayer and check in with God every second business day if any of the eligible men in her peripheral were "the one." What are you doing while you wait?
Are you waiting like we do for online orders? We place an order today and as soon as confirmation comes through, we start tracking. Are you waiting by the door throwing tantrums at the delivery guy for not having that specific package you desperately want? Some of us are missing the work God is doing in other areas of our lives because we become transfixed on that one void in our life.
You are currently living in the realm of an answered prayer from your past. Have you thanked him for that which you already have?
You finally fixed your credit, you finally paid off that student loan, you finally paid off that car note, you finally graduated, you are finally healing, debt-free, you finally got past the childhood trauma, you finally traveled abroad. All of that pales in comparison to your need for companionship?
Ciara's prayer speaks volumes of gratitude. She speaks on being thankful that God hears her pleas, thankful that he hasn't judged her harshly. She is grateful for her son, acknowledging that he is a gift from God. She surrenders her pain but trusts that even the pain holds a valuable lesson for her.
However, what is most profound to me about this prayer is the apparent rapport between God and Ciara.
She attests to the character of God and speaks of his attributes. I don't need to know Ciara personally to confirm this, her words display it. She starts off by saying, "I don't fully understand everything right now, but I know you have great plans for me."
Why yes Cici, for in John 13:7 Jesus says, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." Jeremiah 29:11 (a personal favorite of mine) says, "But the plans I have for you are to prosper you and not to fail you, to give you a future (pun intended) and a hope."
The very act of committing her pain to God tells me she is aware that he is her foundation and her source, but for everything, not just a source for the relationship she is hoping for. Some of us don't realize God has been paying our bills, uplifting our careers, opening doors, and setting our pathways straight. You cannot suddenly relinquish control in one area without allowing access to everything else. Being knowledgeable on the character of God is what distinguishes Ciara's prayer. She knew the abilities of the one she was calling upon.
Ciara knew not only was he able but he was willing to help her navigate through this pain into the relationship she needed.
Please note she didn't ask God to take the pain away, she didn't want to miss the lesson. She didn't ask for God to bring a partner that would heal her or complete her. Furthermore, when it came down to the man she wanted, she wasn't vague about it. Again, she referenced what God himself says about love, what God says about her. It doesn't matter how many times you recite this prayer word for word verbatim, it doesn't matter how desperate you are if you do not yet have a personal relationship with the one you are praying to. Do you know him, do you know what he says about love but most importantly what he says about you?
Ciara really ought to have made a disclaimer that goes like this and is in fine print too, "Here is the prayer but results are sold separately."
Also worth noting she was honest in her surrender to God. She says, "I need you to restore my faith in love, give me strength." Her faith in love had been shaken but she knew God could revive it. In the end, having submitted her pain, confusion, and requests, she ends by stating that she is ready.
All she was asking God to dress her man in, she would have to reciprocate. She would have to compliment the type of man she was asking for. God also wants to shelter his sons. Are you ready for what you are pleading for?
Some of us are not ready but we keep barking for Russell. You don't only become ready by declaring you're ready. Some of us haven't grasped the lessons we need to from our past relationships, some of us don't see what we already have, some of us don't know the God Ciara is speaking to here--the one who heals, the one who is able, the one who restores and the one who delivers.
But the worst is, we won't receive Russell if we idolize relationships. We are pursuing the hashtag baecation more than we are pursuing God. Shanice Lawrence worded this beautifully in her tweet, she said, "Make sure you want God more than you want a man OR ELSE that man will be your god. Desiring the blessing more than the relationship with God is how idols are created." I could not agree more.
So to reiterate, the power of Ciara's prayer lies not in her words, the power lies in the one she was praying to, the relationship they have, and the knowledge she had on who God is. Find out for yourself who he is. Psalm 34:8 says, "Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the one who takes refuge in him."
I will stay on the lookout for Russell's prayer but while we wait, wait in gratitude, wait in prayer, go to the source and let him fine-tune you for what is to come.
Stay blessed.
Featured image by Rich Fury/Getty Images
Winnie is a Vancouver-based writer who loves exploring her city, traveling and all things sneaker-related. Although her background is in law and administration, she is on a mission to share the power of faith.
For Us, By Us: How HBCU Alumni Are Building Legacies Through Entrepreneurship
Homecoming season is here, and alumni are returning to the yard to celebrate with their friends and family at the historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs) that have changed their lives forever.
No matter where their life journeys have taken them, for HBCU students from near and far, returning to where it all started can invoke feelings of nostalgia, appreciation for the past, and inspiration for the future.
The seeds for these entrepreneurs were planted during their time as students at schools like Spelman, North Carolina A&T, and more, which is why xoNecole caught up with Look Good Live Well’s Ariane Turner, HBCU Buzz’s Luke Lawal and Morehouse Senior Director of Marketing and Comms and Press Secretary Jasmine Gurley to highlight the role their HBCU roots play in their work as entrepreneurs, the legacy they aim to leave behind through the work that they do, and more as a part of Hyundai’s Best In Class initiative.
On Honoring HBCU Roots To Create Something That Is For Us, By Us
Ariane Turner
Courtesy
When Ariane Turner launched Look Good, Live Well, she created it with Black and brown people in mind, especially those with sensitive skin more prone to dryness and skin conditions like acne and eczema.
The Florida A&M University graduate launched her business to create something that addressed topical skin care needs and was intentional about its approach without negative terminology.
Turner shared that it is important to steer clear of language often adopted by more prominent brands, such as “banishing breakouts” or “correcting the skin,” because, in reality, Turner says there is nothing wrong with the way that our skin and bodies react to various life changes.
“I think what I have taken with me regarding my HBCU experience and translated to my entrepreneurial experience is the importance of not just networking,” Turner, the founder and CEO of Look Good, Live Well, tellls xoNecole.
“We hear that in business all the time, your network is your net worth, but family, there’s a thing at FAMU that we call FAMU-lee instead of family, and it’s very much a thing. What that taught me is the importance of not just making relationships and not just making that connection, but truly working on deepening them, and so being intentional about connecting with people initially, but staying connected and building and deepening those relationships, and that has served me tremendously in business, whether it’s being able to reach back to other classmates who I went to school with, or just networking in general.”
She adds, “I don’t come from a business background. As soon as I finished school, I continued with my entrepreneurial journey, and so there’s a lot of that traditional business act and the networking, those soft skills that I just don’t have, but I will say that just understanding how to leverage and network community and to build intentional relationships is something that has taken me far and I definitely got those roots while attending FAMU.”
On Solving A Very Specific Need For The Community
Luke Lawal Jr.
Courtesy
When Luke Lawal Jr. launched HBCU Buzz, his main focus was to represent his community, using the platform to lift as they climbed by creating an outlet dedicated to celebrating the achievements and positive news affecting the 107 historically HBCUs nationwide.
By spotlighting the wonderful things that come from the HBCU community and coupling it with what he learned during his time at Bowie State University, Lawal used that knowledge to propel himself as an entrepreneur while also providing his people with accurate representation across the internet.
“The specific problem in 2011 when I started HBCU Buzz was more so around the fact that mainstream media always depict HBCUs as negative,” Lawal says. “You would only see HBCUs in the mainstream media when someone died, or the university president or someone was stepping down. It was always bad news, but they never shed light on all the wonderful things from our community."
So, I started HBCU Buzz to ensure the world saw the good things that come from our space. And they knew that HBCUs grew some of the brightest people in the world, and just trying to figure out ways to make sure our platform was a pedestal for all the students that come through our institutions.”
“The biggest goal is to continue to solve problems, continue to create brands that solve the problems of our communities, and make sure that our products, our brands, our companies, and institutions are of value and they’re helping our community,” he continues. “That they’re solving problems that propel our space forward.”
On How Being An HBCU Alum Impacts The Way One Shows Up In The World
Jasmine Gurley
Courtesy
Jasmine Gurley is a proud North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University alum. She is even more delighted with her current role, which enables her to give back to current HBCU students as the Senior Director of Brand Marketing and Communications and official press secretary at Morehouse College.
“It was a formative experience where I really was able to come into my own and say yes to all the opportunities that were presented to me, and because of that, it’s been able to open the doors later in life too,” says Gurley of her experience at North Carolina A&T. “One thing I love about many HBCUs is that we are required to learn way more about African American history than you do in your typical K through 12 or even at the higher ed level."
She adds, “It allowed us to have a better understanding of where we came from, and so for me, because I’m a storyteller, I’m a history person, I’m very sensitive to life in general, being able to listen to the stories and the trials that our ancestors overcame, put the battery pack in my back to say, ‘Oh nothing can stop me. Absolutely nothing can stop me. I know where I came from, so I can overcome something and try anything. And I have an obligation to be my ancestors’ wildest dreams. Simultaneously, I also have a responsibility to help others realize that greatness.
Gurley does not take her position at an HBCU, now as a leader, lightly.
“People think I’m joking when I say I’m living the dream, but I really am,” she notes. “So I wake up every day and know that the work that I do matters, no matter how hard it might be, how frustrating it may be, and challenging it. I know the ripple effect of my work, my team, and what this institution does also matter. The trajectory of Black male experiences, community, history, and then just American advancement just in general.”
On the other hand, through her business, Sankofa Public Relations, Gurley is also on a mission to uplift brands in their quest to help their respective communities. Since its inception in 2017, Sankofa PR has been on a mission to “reach back and reclaim local, national, and global communities by helping those actively working to move” various areas of the world, focusing on pushing things forward for the better.
“Through Sankofa, we’ve worked with all different types of organizational brands and individuals in several different industries, but I would think of them as mission-based,” says Gurley.
“So with that, it’s an opportunity to help people who are trying to do good in the world, and they are passionate about what they’re doing. They just need help with marketing issues, storytelling, and branding, and that’s when my expertise can come into play. Help them get to that moment where they can tell their story through me or another platform, and that’s been super fulfilling.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Feature image courtesy
The End Of The Road? Zoë Kravitz And Channing Tatum Reportedly Split
Rumors are circulating that Zoë Kravitz and Channing Tatum's engagement has come to an end. Adding to the intrigue, two hours prior to the news of their split becoming public, Channing celebrated the exciting announcement that he and Zoë would reunite for an upcoming alien invasion movie entitled Alpha Gang.
Some folks are saying that October is now “uncuffing season” as partners won’t have to deal with the weight and expectations that come with this time of year. From matching Halloween costumes to voting to Thanksgiving and Christmas, it seems the new cuffing season has moved to January.
In August 2021, Zoë and Channing were first rumored to be romantically involved after being photographed riding together through the streets of New York City on a BMX bike. The following month, they were seen leaving the Met Gala together, and Tatum confirmed their relationship on Halloween by posting a picture of them wearing a couples costume from Martin Scorsese's iconic 1976 film Taxi Driver on Instagram.
Instagram/@channingtatum
After collaborating on Zoë's directorial debut, Blink Twice, where Channing played a starring role, their relationship blossomed into a full-out romance. Approximately a year later, the Step Up star popped the question.
Because the streets are always watching, PEOPLE reported that Channing joined Zoë in seeing a production of a play by Blink Twice costar Levon Hawke in New York City's Red Hook neighborhood on Oct. 6. Most recently, Kravitz has been seen in public without her engagement ring, notably during an outing with her Big Little Lies co-star Shailene Woodley.
So the news of the split kinda comes as a surprise as we were just oozing over the couple’s undeniable chemistry during their Blink Twice press run in August. Channing and Zoë openly discussed their relationship and collaborated on multiple videos that went viral.
Even proud papa Lenny Kravitz gave his approval. During an interview with BBC’s Radio 2, he said, "He was raised well. So, you know, he’s got manners. He’s charming. He’s a soulful human being. And so, he’s become part of the family quite quickly. He fits and they're in love. We’re going to have a wedding next year."
As we mourn this breakup, let’s run back some memorable moments from the possibly uncoupled pair.
"Art is our love language."
When asked about future collaborations with her boo during the premiere of Blink Twice on Aug. 23, Zoë shared, "I think it's what we love, and we love talking about it, and experiencing it, and supporting each other.” Channing chimed in saying, “This is what I'll say about creating with someone that you are with or love: I suggest it. If you are thinking about having a kid or if you're thinking about getting married, go find the hardest possible creative project with your partner.”
“I got you forever.”
Channing took to Instagram to share an adoring photo of him holding Zoë. He captioned the photo, “This little sweet. She So tired bro. Every time I wondered if she’d break…. She just kept going and going and going. Always on the dig for truth. She pour’d every single ounce of her into this film. I’m so proud to stand ten toes down for her, this film and everyone in it. forever. Knowing what it took to make it. No one will ever know.”
The last line took us out: “Thank you for finding me and seeing me. I got you forever. Me and you back to back against it all. I’ll never blink. Let’s go. #blinktwice”
GOAT Talk
On Complex’s GOAT Talk, a show where stars are prompted to reveal their favorites of all time, Channing and Zoë disclosed their go-to song for singing in the shower, their beloved ad-lib line from Blink Twice, and their stance on conspiracy theories and their favorite rapper. The moment Channing challenged Zoë’s answer that Catwoman is the best superhero of all time was just too cute.
“The Lie Detector determined…”
The cast of Blink Twice underwent Vanity Fair's well-known lie detector test, facing a barrage of probing questions. Among the inquiries were: Did Channing Tatum and Naomi Watts ever irritate Zoë Kravitz during the filming of Blink Twice? Did Naomi ever pilfer anything from the set? Did Channing's portrayal of Gambit in Deadpool & Wolverine surpass his personal expectations?
Best of all were the moments you saw Zoë and Channing look at each other adoringly and when they would finish each other sentences. “We are equally cool,” Zoë beamed.
Puppy Love
The pair hung out with BuzzFeed and a slew of adorable puppies while chatting about their favorite improvised moment on set, who has the best rizz — which is apparently Channing according to Zoë — and their first impressions of each other. Not only did they binge-watch Love Island together but they also boasted they would win Love Is Blind if they were on the show.
The Pressure
Zoë Kravitz recently sat down with Esquirefor an interview and got real about her thoughts on becoming a parent. She shared that she's always kinda thought motherhood might not be her thing. “For a long time, I felt like there was something wrong with me. I was waiting for this light to go off in my head, and it never did. When you’re younger, you’re like, ‘Well, I can’t have kids. I’m too young! It’d be crazy.’”
Her viewpoint on childbirth and parenthood has evolved as she has matured and witnessed the societal pressure placed on women to reproduce. While she recognizes the immense strength and courage required to carry and raise a child, Kravitz believes that women should not be made to feel obligated to do so.
Zoë continued, “For a lot of people that have children, it is this giant, life-changing event – and I do think there is a certain amount of focus and respect that they should get from their community. There’s a lot of pressure on women to have children, and there’s a feeling that if you don’t, you don’t have purpose here.” The director feels a special connection to her new movie akin to giving birth.
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Featured image by Dave Benett/WireImage