
What The Ciara’s, Cassie’s & Karrueche's Of The World Have Shown Us About Moving On & Moving Up

I have to admit, I'm not someone who obsesses over or relies heavily on celebrity hook-ups, marriages, and love stories as a guide for my own relationships, considering the fact that their lifestyles are quite different from mine. Not to mention, you never truly know what goes on behind closed doors -- whether they're famous or not.
However, we're often reminded of the fact that celebrities are human beings just like us. At times, and unfortunately at their expense, we witness their heartache, loss, and drama for all the world to see. But just as much as we cry and empathize when celebrities experience tough times, we also celebrate when we see them overcoming obstacles, relishing in their success, or even enjoying a new chance at love. Case in point:
Ciara walked away from what she thought was her future, and in walked the love of her life through Russell Wilson.
Karrueche's ex tried desperately to get her attention, but now she's the center of attention -- on-screen and off with former baller Victor Cruz.
Cassie was with Diddy, but now she's blessed to be with child with her new beau Alex Fine.
Hence, from the outside looking in, there is so much we can learn from these ladies' experiences (and so many other non-celebrities including myself) and their willingness to move on.
1.For every man that won’t, there’s another one that will.
I think we can all agree that Russell Wilson was more than ready and willing to be (and do) for Ciara what her exes weren't willing to be. He appears to not only be good to her but good for her. The same is likely true for Cassie and Karrueche…at least I know it was for me when I met my husband also. I've said it a million times, but it's so true: if a man wants to be with you, then he'll be with you. Period.
2.Be courageous enough to walk away knowing that another will come along to stay.
A good man can't occupy space in your life if it's already taken by someone else. Society and statistics will tell you that the odds are stacked against you, and the ratio of women to men makes it nearly impossible to experience true love with a good man. However, don't let societal pressures or the fear of being alone keep you trapped in a toxic relationship just for the sake of saying that you're in a relationship. With God, anything is possible. Besides, as black women (and men), we've been defying statistics since the beginning of time.
3.“But I’ve invested so much time in the relationship” is not a legitimate excuse to remain in a toxic relationship that no longer serves you.
Comfort and convenience aren't substitutes for love. Just because it's comfortable to you doesn't mean it's purposeful for you.
When it no longer serves a purpose for your life, it then becomes a waste of time – for you and the other person. Life is too short to be wasting it on people and things that are toxic to your life. Just like with any financial investment, if it no longer provides a positive return, then it's time to move your money. Similarly, if the relationship no longer provides positive results for your life, then it may be time to move on…just like Ciara, Cassie, and Karrueche did.
4.You can find the good in goodbye.
I know I'm not the only one who can look back and say to myself, "had I stayed…," or "thank goodness that ended," or "I dodged a bullet." There's a liberating feeling knowing that what you once thought was the best thing in your life became the best thing when it was actually removed from your life. You never know – your new and better beginning could be on the other side of that painful ending.
Related: How To Find The Good In Goodbye
5.Sometimes the very thing (or person) you’re holding onto is the very thing that’s holding you back.
Erykah Badu said it best: "Bag lady, you gone hurt your back. Dragging all those bags like that." It's that baggage and dead weight that keep us bound to toxic people and relationships. As my dear friend Natalie once told me, "Some people are tied to your dysfunction, not your destiny." Hence, sometimes people have to walk away in order for you to walk into your destiny.
6.Whoever you give your heart to, make sure they’re ready and have the capacity to receive it.
We are often disappointed when we give our hearts to those who never asked for it. Some people aren't ready for, nor do they deserve, all the love you have to give. The one who is ready and willing to receive your love, will be ready and willing to show you love.
7.“God is never late.”
Timing is everything to us, but there's a quote that says, "God doesn't wear a watch." His timing isn't like ours…and truth be told, we're not always prepared for what we ask for. Nevertheless, we have to trust that even if what we pray for doesn't happen exactly when or how we expect it to, God can still provide exactly what we need, when we need it.
8.You’ll know a man is no longer interested in playing games when it’s obvious he’s not playing with your heart.
There's a difference between a man who only says he's sorry and a man whose words are supported by his actions. Changed behavior is the evidence of a real apology. Moreover, a man after God's heart will take care of yours.
9.For every heartache experienced, God can heal you that much more.
I'm sure at some point Ciara, Cassie, and Karrueche probably thought "when will the tears subside," or "when will this heartache end." It's difficult to see the light when you're in it, but the sun always finds a way to shine after the rain. I can imagine that for them, as it has been for me, their past hurt eventually became like a distant memory once they were able to move on and heal.
10.When we release old stuff, it creates space for something new.
Whether people are removed from our lives by force or choice, it frees up space around us and within us – physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. No longer are we considered "emotionally unavailable;" rather, the extra space opens ourselves to receive and experience more of what God has for us.
Nobody truly knows what the future holds for Ciara, Cassie, or Karrueche (or anyone for that matter), but while they're in this winning season, let's continue cheering them on from the sidelines. May their stories, as well as so many others, serve as hope and inspiration to live your best, purposeful life despite your past hurts, and more importantly, regardless of your relationship status.
Featured image by DFree / Shutterstock.com
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Shonda Brown White is a bestselling author, blogger, life coach, and brand strategist. When she's not jumping out of a plane or zip lining, she's living the married life with her husband in Atlanta, GA. Connect with her on social @ShondaBWhite and her empowering real talk on her blog.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak