

Now y'all already know, if I could find a way to make sex have a fall theme, that in the spirit of peace and goodwill, a sista had to tie in one of the most popular holidays of the year to coitus too. To tell you the truth, it really wasn't all that hard. All I did was think about some of the things that traditionally go with Christmas and, based on what I already know about aphrodisiacs, see how they lined up with encouraging sexual desire. Hmph. You might be surprised.
As far as how to make Christmas itself the kind of sex-inspired gift that keeps on giving, be on the lookout for a few tips sooner than later (I got you). For now, as you're out 'n about doing some of your holiday shopping, I'd advise that you pick up doubles when it comes to some of the items on this list—one you can use for traditional purposes; the other, you can take into your bedroom so that you can bring a whole new meaning to yuletide cheer.
1. Eggnog
Although eggnog is not my favorite drink in the world, I can be compelled to partake of a sip or two around the holidays. Almost every time I have it, there is a part of me that wonders how it became a part of Christmas cuisine. From what I've researched, it started out in early medieval Britain (they used to drink something similar called "posset"). The combo of milk, eggs and sherry symbolized good health and prosperity. Then monks began to consume it and eventually, around the 1700s, it made its way over to us.
The reason why it qualifies as being an aphrodisiac is because the ingredients that are in it—especially the eggs, honey, vanilla and nutmeg—are things that can help to boost your libido. Eggs are a fertility symbol. Honey contains boron which regulates hormone levels and nitric oxide which intensifies arousal. The smell of vanilla causes a lot of men to have faster erections, and apparently the 50 percent ethanolic extract of nutmeg increases the sex drive; mostly the sex drive of men.
So, if you've never had or liked eggnog, maybe all of this info will inspire you to give it another shot. In the spirit of Christmas—and good sex.
2. Candy Canes
I recently read a couple of articles that said the cooling sensation of peppermint soap or diluted peppermint oil (make sure to dilute the oil; it is really strong) provides the kind of cooling effect that enhances stimulation in women and can even trigger multiple orgasms. That got me to thinking that sucking on a candy cane and then performing oral sex on your partner must be the total bomb. That's why this signature Christmastime candy made the list.
Just make sure that you use peppermint more as a topical thing than anything else. Studies reveal that the menthol in mint, when it's digested by men, can lower their testosterone, not raise it. And who wants that?
3. Gingerbread Houses
How in the world is a gingerbread house an aphrodisiac? It's due to the ginger that it's made from. Aside from the fact that the calcium, magnesium, phosphorus and potassium in ginger is great for treating motion and morning sickness, menstrual cramps and migraines, on the sexual tip, ginger significantly increases blood circulation in both men and women. The more blood that's moving around in our genital regions, the hornier we tend to be. The better our orgasms end up being too. So, spend quality time making a gingerbread house with the kids and a different kind of quality time with your partner eating it once you're done.
4. Mistletoe
This one should be obvious. I mean, "Kissing under the mistletoe"—duh. But if you've ever wondered why so many of us do that, basically it's this. Mistletoe is an evergreen plant that is a symbol of peace. People started kissing underneath it during the Greek festival of Saturnalia, believing that mistletoe protected them from misfortune, along with granting them long life as well as fertility. If that's got you sold, Home Depot, Lowe's and local nurseries typically sell it.
5. Hot Chocolate
You've probably heard somewhere before that chocolate—preferably dark chocolate—is an aphrodisiac. The reason why is because the chemicals phenylethylamine and serotonin that are in it will not only improve your mood, they are considered to be sexual stimulants as well. Some health experts say that you'll get the most sexual benefits out of chocolate if you eat four ounces, on a daily basis, that is made out of 70 percent cocoa. A fun way to get some of those ounces in is to drink some hot chocolate—or to make some chocolate body paint. Or…do both.
6. Figgy Pudding
I don't think I've ever had figgy pudding before (if any of y'all have, let me know in the comments how it tastes). But I have heard a few Christmas songs that mentions it, so yeah, it makes this list too. The main reason is because figs are considered to be an aphrodisiac fruit. A lot of people think this because they like the smell and texture of fresh figs. Also, the antioxidants, flavonoids, fiber, antioxidants and potassium that are in figs are surefire libido booster. And, since figs are a symbol of love and fertility, it can't hurt to at least have a slice of some homemade figgy pudding cake, right?
7. Pine
Back when I was a Christmas-observer, something that I adored was the smell of a live Christmas tree in my home. Well, believe it or not, pine pollen is a proven aphrodisiac. Aside from the 200 nutrients that it contains, the fact that it has DHEA in it, that means that pine pollen also levels out testosterone and estrogen in our bodies. Since it can also help with muscle pain, headaches and nausea, why not keep some of it in your house?
8. Ribbons
A woman had me cracking up when she told me that while she loves to be tied up during sex, what will turn her off instantly is if a man pulls out a pair of handcuffs. "How woke can a ninja be if he thinks that with all of this police brutality going on that I want to reenact that bulls—it?" I mean and I'm sayin'.
To me, the alternative would be satin ribbons. They are definitely a Christmas tradition, they are softer and sexier than cuffs and, if you use them instead of cuffs, you won't have to worry about you or your partner being triggered. #MerryChristmas
9. Sleighs
I've been sledding before; it's fun. I've never actually been on a sleigh ride before (you know, when a horse or some reindeer are actually pull the sled), but I will definitely put it on my bucket list. Know what else is going to go on there? The sleigh ride sex position. What the heck is that? From what I've seen and read, it's a spin on reverse cowgirl. The twist is, rather than the woman doing most of the work, her partner (who is lying on his back with his knees slightly bent) helps her out by lightly lifting her pelvis up and meeting her halfway with each thrust. A sleigh ride indeed!
10. Stockings
As far as the Christmas tradition of stockings goes, from what I've read, St. Nicolas once heard about a man who was too poor to pay for his daughters' dowries so that they could marry. The man was also too proud to accept handouts, so one night, St. Nick climbed down the man's chimney and put gold coins in his daughter's stockings (hmm…).
Fast forward to 2019 and, as a male friend and I were discussing what can make a sex life go stale, something that he said was, "When women stop dressing up. It can be just as fun to take off sexy clothes as it is to have sex." When I asked him if there was a particular article of clothing that turned him on especially, he paused for a minute, smiled and then said, "Stockings."
That's cute because I once read another man describe stockings as being "jewelry for women's legs".
That's why stockings are on this list. Extra points are definitely given if they are thigh-highs (like these). Based on the tradition and what the guy shared with me, when stockings are around, all sorts of nice surprises end up…popping up.
11. Toys
Toys ain't just for children. In fact, this is how much the xoTribe is a fan of sex toys. There's the article "8 Crème De La Crème Sex Toys You Can Buy On A Budget". There's "5 Discreet Vibrators That Will Fit Into Your Carry-On". There are also "A $2K Sex Toy Gave Me The Ride (& The Orgasm) Of My Life" and "Yoni Investments: 4 Standards Your Sex Toys Should Meet". So, if you'd like to gift yourself with a toy of your own, those articles should help you out. Or, you can get ahead of the 2020 sex toy trends and treat yourself to a tongue vibrator. (Have mercy!)
12. Color Red
Red is definitely a signature hue for Christmas. As far as color psychology goes, red symbolizes love, passion, energy, sex and intensity. So, if you're trying to figure out what to get your partner, you can never go wrong with some new red lingerie or even some red satin sheets—even if they're just for Christmas Eve or Christmas night. Make it a very Merry Christmas—and to ALL a good night!
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on December 12, 2019
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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If Spring & Summer Are Your Favorite Braid Seasons, Here's How To Make Them Last
If there’s ever a time when I think it’s worth it to sit in a braider’s chair for 5-7 hours, it’s right around May. Although it’s not necessarily “on purpose,” it seems that the only time when I get some bra-length, medium-sized, box braids is when the weather is warm. For me, I think it’s because, since I don’t have a relaxer in my hair, I don’t really want to think about or deal with the crazy-ass humidity that Nashville brings during that time of the year — and, for the most part, braids make that a non-issue.
Maybe you feel the same way I do about getting braids in the spring and/or summertime — or perhaps March through September being your favorite months for this particular style is due to something else. Either way, if you’re gearing up for a braid appointment, I thought it would be cool to share 12 things that can help you get the most out of the time that you spend, along with the money that you invest to get those bad boys put in.
This way, not only will your braids look absolutely bomb until it’s time to take them out, but your own hair can remain healthy throughout the process too.
1. Choose Your Hair Brand Wisely
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With articles out here like The Guardian’s “Over 3,000 beauty products targeting Black women contain health hazards, study shows,” Harvard’s “Uncovering the dangers of hair products marketed to Black women, girls” and, as it specifically relates to today’s topic, Essence’s “A New Study Finds Carcinogens In 10 Synthetic Braiding Hair Brands” — now, more than ever, it’s important to be hypervigilant about doing research on and reading the labels of the beauty products that you buy.
When it comes to braiding hair, specifically, a braiding hair brand that’s made from repurposed banana stems isRebundle; it’s not the cheapest on the planet yet it is pretty quality stuff. Thankfully, Essence has a list of some other options here while Byrdie also features some here that you can look into too.
2. Go with Smaller Instead of Larger
When it comes to the shelf life of braids, once you hit somewhere around the six-week mark, it’s usually time to put on a movie and get comfortable for a couple of hours, so that you can take them down. However, if you want to try to squeeze even more time out of them, first, make sure that you tie your hair up (or put it into a bonnet) every night with a silk or satin scarf (in order to reduce frizz and tangling more than anything else). Also, consider going with smaller braids. Sure, it’ll take more time to install and it will probably cost a few more bucks as well — but if you can get 2-3 more weeks from the style, it’s actually worth it.
3. Try Dry Shampoo on Your Braids
Whenever I have braids in my hair, the thing that I hate the most is wash day. Why? Because that’s when the opportunity significantly increases for my braids to get looser and for frizz to transpire. Typically, my workaround is to cleanse my scalp with a good ole’ bottle of Sea Breeze and then rinse my hair while in the shower every couple of weeks (so that I’m not spending a lot of time rubbing on the braids themselves). However, something else that you might want to try is a dry shampoo (you know, a cleansing product that absorbs dirt, oil, and sweat without any water being involved).
One brand that gets a lot of praise in the braided hair department is Batiste Sweat Activated Dry Shampoo. Another is Amika’s Perk Up Talc-Free Dry Shampoo. At the very least, it can buy you some time until you have the time to cleanse your braids oh so very carefully with “regular” shampoo.
4. Apply a Lavender/Jojoba Oil Blend to Your Scalp
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If one of the things that you absolutely don’t look forward to when it comes to having braids is the fact that your scalp flakes up, something that you can do to reduce the chances of that happening is to keep your scalp well-moisturized. One way to do that is to apply a mixture of lavender oil and jojoba oil. Lavender is good for your scalp because it contains antimicrobial properties that help to keep fungi and bacteria from irritating your scalp (which means that it can help to prevent dandruff flakes).
Jojoba oil benefits your scalp because it is able to deeply moisturize your scalp while helping to prevent itchiness. Plus, the combo can help to keep your braids smelling really good too.
5. Use Sunscreen on Your Scalp Too
SUN. FREAKIN’. SCREEN. When you get a chance, check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.” so that you can get a good understanding of why it’s important to slow down the aging of your scalp. For now, I’ll just say that skin that isn’t protected by sunscreen is skin that is definitely going to age faster than you would like it to. Not only that but since braids cause you to have so much of your scalp exposed (due to all of the parts that are on your head), you definitely need to make sure that the UV rays don’t work overtime to irritate or damage it. Travel + Leisure has a few sunscreens for the scalp that are worth giving a shot. You can check them outhere.
6. Use a Leave-In Conditioner on Your Braids
Something that you definitely need to keep in mind if you’ve got longer hair tucked inside of your braids is you should wash your braids with a sulfate-free shampoo and you should apply a leave-in conditioner while your braids are air-drying. That way, your own hair can have some additional moisture added in which will also reduce frizz and fly-aways. Oh, and speaking of leave-in conditioner, don’t be afraid to refresh your hair with some of it one day a week.
It’s another way to smooth the cuticles of the braids and help to keep them flexible and shiny. For this tip, my two cents? Use a leave-in that comes in a spray rather than a bottle. It tends to be thinner in texture, so you don’t have to worry so much about residue and build-up.
7. Keep Gels to a Minimum
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Honestly, I’ll be glad when the super long lashes and the baby hairs that look more like bangs decide to take an indefinite hiatus (#lesigh). In the meantime, at least this article gives me a solid reason for discouraging huge baby hairs: gels can cause product build-up and, at the very least, that can make keeping your braids as fresh as possible hella challenging. So, if you do like to lay your edges down, try and take the minimal approach — both with the amount of hair that you use and how much gel that you apply to them.
Oh, and look for a flake-free edge control brand. One that I personally like is She Is Bomb (here). It’s super affordable, lasts a long time, holds really well, and nope, no flakes for me.
8. Dip Your Ends to Keep Them Smooth and Frizz-Free
Whether you want to reduce frizz or you want to add some waves or curls to your braids, you can do this by dipping your hair in hot water. I will say that if you don’t want to run the risk of burning yourself, you might want to enlist the assistance of a friend to help you out. However, if your braids are really long, you should be able to dip them on your own without any issues.
Whenever I want to add some waves to my box braids, I will section them, braid them, dip them, let them cool a bit, and then take the braids down. The waves last for weeks. Perfect! As a bonus, dipping your ends can actually keep them smooth and fresh-looking. For tips on how to DIY dip, check out this video tutorial here.
9. Steam Your Braids Every Couple of Weeks
Something that I’m surprised doesn’t come up more often is how beneficial it is tosteam braids. Not only is it a great way to give your scalp some relief if your braids are too tight when you first leave the shop, but it can also help to keep your scalp hydrated with as little hair manipulation as possible. Plus, steaming your braids can help to keep your braids looking shiny and new for a longer period of time. InStyle has a list of steamers that benefit natural hair mosthere. Best Products Reviews also has its own listhere.
10. Refresh the Front of Your Hairstyle
I remember a few years ago, I watched a YouTube video of a woman who said that her (originally) knotless braids lasted for almost four months because she would “simply” (SMDH) tie her braids into a knot once there was enough new growth to make that happen. Lawd, please don’t follow her lead. Not only does that lead to unnecessary tension (and weight) on your hair follicles, but it can make it complete and utter hell to take the braids (and knots) down without pulling out quite a bit of your hair in the process.
Instead, if you want a couple of more weeks with your braids, make an appointment with your braider to get the first couple of rows around the front of your head redone. You’d be amazed how this one step can do wonders for a braided hairstyle — not to mention that it’s better for your hair and (usually) a hella cheap approach to making your style last longer.
11. Try Not to Over-Style Your Braids
There is nothing like having some long, knotless, medium-sized box braids that were done right and well. Honey, it’ll have you out here acting like you should try every hairstyle you can find! Thing is, the more that you manipulate your hair, the quicker that your braids will come loose, the more frizz and fly-aways that will pop up, and the sooner that your new style will age. Am I saying not to play around with some looks that you like? Damn well you should. Just try to avoid doing a different style multiple days of the week.
Wearing them down, tying them up in a scarf, or putting them in a top bun (although you should move that bun around in order to not put tension in the same spot all of the time) will make enough of a statement because braids are beautiful…all on their own.
12. Take a Break from Your Braids
Final one. Braids are so damn pretty and convenient that I’m sure a lot of us would pull a “Moesha” (if you’re a real one, you caught what I mean by that) and have braids in constantly. Thing is, that’s not healthy for your natural hair because the tension and weight of your braids can lead to hair damage and even hair loss if you’re not careful. So, if you plan on going all spring and summer with some sort of braided style, try to at least take out a couple of weeks in between braid appointments to deep condition your own hair, pamper your scalp, and give both of them a break.
That way, you can be confident that your hair is ready for your next batch of braids — whether that’s for a summer vacation or some other time that you have in mind. Enjoy!
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