
Writer Christine Michel Carter On Balancing Work & Raising Black Kids In Today's America

xoNecole's Moms Who Inspire series highlights modern day moms mastering all the tasks on their plate, from day to day responsibilities to ensuring their children are kind, educated and well-rounded human beings. Each mother describes their inspiration, what motherhood means to them, and how they maintain their sense of selves while being the superwoman we all know and love.
There's a writer, marketing strategist and mother who not only talks the talk, but walks the walk and she goes by the name Christine Michel Carter.
The Forbes, TIME, and Entrepreneurcontributor has made a career of helping companies understand women just like her, black women and working moms. She's been called "the exec inspiring millennial moms" and her passion for mothers, black women and their children is sincere. Becoming a mother herself was always something she had envisioned for herself, but not something that was easily attainable.
Where some women seem to get pregnant on the first try, her own journey to motherhood was quite difficult. It took "rigorous planning, ovulation tracking, and intercourse scheduling"- but because of the relationship she had with her grandmother, aunts and uncles, she persisted and was blessed with two babies: Maya, 6 and West, 3.
She's a Mom Who Inspires us because she's willing to be a guardian and a champion for mothers and black women. Christine walks us through how her children inspire her professional life and how she became a thought leader for marketing to millennial consumers.
On her happiest memory as a first-time parent:
My happiest memory was the moment I felt like my daughter and I began to bond.
She was born prematurely and spent a month in the NICU.
And I found it hard to initially connect with her because she was surrounded by a glass case, tubes, and monitors. It only took a few days to get comfortable with those things but in mom time, that's a lifetime. When we both became comfortable with one another, having skin to skin contact and spending hours cuddling… it was the greatest feeling in the world.
On how her upbringing influenced her approach to motherhood:
I respect my mother; she is one of the most determined women I know. She had a goal of graduating college before I did, after postponing it for years. She actually exceeded her goal, receiving a bachelor's and two master's degrees. She's been a huge influence on my professional career and I consider her a role model and mentor. But my grandparents (specifically my grandmother) influence how I raise my children. Unlike my mother, my grandmother didn't work and because of that, I was able to spend a lot of time with her. She taught me that work isn't everything and your profession has no bearing on the impact someone can have on your life.
On a career-defining moment that tested her determination:
I remember when I was 20 years old: I was the director of marketing for a regional retailer and felt like my salary didn't align with my roles and responsibilities. I left the company and started my retail marketing firm, all the while scared I couldn't demand a higher consulting fee. I often worried if I ever returned to the corporate world, I'd never earn the salary I deserved because I was so young. I was full of doubt. Still, I took on a dozen clients as a consultant, fine tuning my professional skills and leveraging development tools. I eventually did return to the corporate world and made three times the amount I made when I left. From that experience, I learned my age is just a number, and it should have no bearing on the salary an employer offers me or the worth I put on my own professional skills.
On balancing work and home life:
I'm blessed to have a flexible schedule professionally, and this allows me to put what truly matters to me first: my children. I have the opportunity to attend more class parties and recitals than other mothers, and that's a blessing I recognize and do not take for granted. Also, my aunt is a fantastic support system for both my personal and professional life. She's there at a moment's notice if I need to work a little late or travel for business.
On the hidden life lesson she shares with her children:
Who's opinion matters? (Then I make my children point to themselves.) I find my daughter often taking the opinion of her teachers, her grandparents, and her friends to heart. Once she said she changed her favorite color because a boy's favorite color was blue. Comments like that are disheartening to me, especially because she is a young black girl and may have a lifetime of situations where her voice is silenced.
I constantly remind her only her opinion of her matters, and she has to feel confident in the decisions she makes because she's the one ultimately responsible for them.
On her favorite activity to do with her children:
I love taking my kids to the gym. They have their own separate area at the gym where they play, but I like showing them the importance of committing to a fitness routine and taking care of your body. This isn't something I grew up with and wish I'd started working out and being active at a younger age.
On the times she's scared to be a parent:
Whenever another black man is killed senselessly for having Skittles in his pocket, or for reading in his own car, a chill goes down my spine and my eyes water.
I'm raising a black man, public enemy number one.
Black men as young as 12 years old have been killed for no reason, and that fact makes me feel my son is never truly safe. Honestly, and unfortunately, I'm somewhat comforted by knowing there are other women feeling these same emotions, fighting across the country to show our children's lives matter.
On the three words representing her approach to motherhood:
Imperfection - I want my kids to understand I don't have all the answers and have done things (like all mothers) that I'm not proud of. Relatability - I'm not a "cool mom" but I'm not a "because I said so" mom either. Communication - Above all else, my kids know nothing is more important in my life than them and I think about them every moment of every day.
On how she practices self-care:
I can't live without going to the gym and running. Runner's high is real. I feel so inspired and awake after a good run on the treadmill.
On who inspires her to be a better mother:
My cousin Lindsey inspires me to become a better mother. She has so many professional and personal responsibilities, and I admire her more than she understands. She's my older cousin so she's always been #goals, but I'm amazed and inspired by how she's overcome obstacles in recent years.
For more Christine, follow her on Instagram.
- Black HuffPo Writer Shocked She Is Part White | The Daily Caller ›
- Inside the W.E.L.L. Summit: Meet Writer Christine Michel Carter ... ›
- Christine Michel Carter | LinkedIn ›
- Christine Michel Carter - Author Biography ›
- I Celebrated Black History Month… By Finding Out I Was White ... ›
- Christine Michel Carter | HuffPost ›
- Christine Michel Carter (@cmichelcarter) • Instagram photos and ... ›
- Christine Michel Carter (@cmichelcarter) | Twitter ›
- Christine Michel Carter – Award-winning global marketing strategist ... ›
- Christine Michel Carter - Christine's Forbes Site ›
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Are You & Your Partner Financially Compatible? Here’s How To Tell.
With nearly half of all marriages that end in divorce citing finances as the nail in the coffin to deading their relationship, financial compatibility is one aspect of long-term compatibility that doesn't get talked about enough. Beyond the circular 50/50 discourse and whatever hot-button issues regarding providers and the like, at its core, financial compatibility is about how well your financial behaviors, values, and long-term goals align with those of your partner.
More than it is about how much money a person makes or doesn't make, financial compatibility focuses on how you think about money, how you spend your money, and most importantly, how you plan for the future with your money. Think, questions about money mindsets, spending habits, debt, budget, etc. Are you a saver and he's a spender? Do you see money as a tool for freedom? Does he see it as something to hold on tightly to as a means of survival? Can you talk about your financial goals and plans openly?
Knowing if you and your partner are financially compatible can save a lot of heartache, a lot of headaches, and a lot of money in the end. Keep reading for a few key indicators to pay attention to and learn whether or not you and your partner are truly aligned financially.
Signs You’re Financially Compatible
1. You can talk about money without judgment.
Conversations about money aren't something you dread. You're able to talk to your partner freely and openly about money matters, like debts, bills, the budget, etc., even when it is uncomfortable. There is an understanding that talking about money doesn't have to be something you're on the defense about, instead it's an opportunity for transparency, clarity, and solutions.
2. You respect each other's money personalities.
What is a money personality? According to Ken Honda, author of Happy Money, a money personality is our "approach and emotional responses to money" and there are seven money personalities we can fall under. These personalities can help us understand our own relationship with money, as well as our partner's. For example, maybe you're someone who likes to treat yourself to a fancy dinner once a month and your partner is someone who believes ordering takeout and not cooking meals at home is a cardinal sin.
When you can respect each other's money personalities, neither approach is subjected to judgment and shifts can be made in each other's spending habits as needed and from a place of love versus guilt or shame.
3. You agree on what it means to have "financial security."
Whether it’s building a stacked emergency fund, paying off debt before putting a downpayment on a home or being able to splurge on a baecation without checking your account balance before the bill arrives, your definitions of what it means to be financially secure are in sync, or at least compatible enough to reach a compromise.
4. You are not each other's "financial parent."
You’re not constantly teaching, fixing, or stressing out over what the other person is doing with their money. Although I fast-forwarded through a lot of the most recent season of Love Is Blind, I did pay attention to Virginia and Devin and money seemed to be a recurring theme in their conversations. It was clear Virginia had her ish together when it came to money and her financial plans for the future and Devin was not quite on her level.
Though she said no at the altar for additional reasons, I could also see how sis could eventually get very tired of being her partner's second mama, so to speak. And that's the thing about being your partner's "financial parent," eventually, you could end up feeling like you are one-half of a "parenting" or "teaching" dynamic with your partner instead of feeling like you're equals in a partnership.
5. You make financial decisions with each other in mind, not for each other.
Whether it’s booking a trip, deciding which debt to tackle first, saving up for a big purchase, or planning out your next move, there’s a mutual respect for each other’s input. Those shared goals might look like wealth, freedom, stability, or just a debt-free life that feels soft and secure.
You don’t have to be chasing the same bag in the same exact way, but you do need to be aligned on the vision. What you're building should feel like a joint venture with shared effort and purpose, not one of y’all making major money moves like you're still single. Making financial decisions is not just about where the money goes, it's about where you’re going together.
6. You're aligned when it comes to the big stuff.
Financial compatibility extends to the long-term of money management. The legacy, structure, and shared responsibility that comes with decisions like shared accounts, estate planning, having babies, or even blending families. Will you split bills or combine income? Who’s taking time off if you have a child? How do y’all feel about generational wealth or investing for your family’s future? You and your partner have had the real conversations.
These conversations can’t wait until after the wedding or until after a baby’s here. They’re the foundation for how you function as a unit, and if you're not aligned, or at least willing to get on the same page, that incompatibility can cause friction in the end that love alone can't fix.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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