

I don't know who needs to hear this, but falling for potential will have you out here on your ass.
Almost never counts and according to xoMan Christian Keyes, dating without a purpose is the key to staying single. In a recent interview with Dana Blair for xoMan Live, Christian broke down the biggest dating mistake we all make: falling in love with potential versus reality. He explained:
Christian Keyes Doesn't Date For Potential + Says Kissing Baby Hairs Is A Form Of Intimacy
"I think that's a bad idea because, you just said it, you are falling in love with your version of who that person is. If that's not who they are, then you're gonna change the things about them that you fell for in the first place. When you date with a purpose, you date on purpose. You don't just date to date. If I'm going to give you my time… I gotta see the possibility for it to be something epic because I feel like I deserve something epic."
During his interview with Dana, Christian admitted to having a few relationship faux pas of his own in the past. When asked what his partners would say his biggest flaws were in a relationship, he had this to say:
"They'd say maybe making them a priority. When I was younger, it was more about 'beat it up culture.' Now that I'm older and more grown and more seasoned, I think you learn to take your time and experience and enjoy each other and spend time enjoying each other. The progress report would be more attentive. More gentleman than savage. Occasional savagery."
Although Christian's savage season was more than cringeworthy, he now understands that intimacy extends way beyond sex:
"The touches, the foot rubs, the smells, the collarbone kisses, the ear nibbles, when she's in the kitchen making something and you walk past… The shoulder bites...she on the phone on a conference call just lean in, bite her shoulder a little bit and just keep it moving. I think all the things that create that magic and that real good, feel good feeling, all that butterfly stuff. I think that's all intimacy. I think laying there after making love is intimacy. Kissing on her baby hairs and rubbing on that booty."
Despite his missteps in past relationships, Christian says that now that he's taken the time to define his own needs in a relationship, he'll know exactly when he's found the one—but that doesn't mean she has to be perfect. He continued:
"To be honest, I think we know when we're in a situation that's peaceful and organic, but powerful. You crave that person's presence all the time. They can be next to you and you don't get tired of them. You wanna do random acts of service and super nice shit like, aye babe how was your day?"
"The shit that some people might think is corny, that's the stuff that holds relationships together. I need those moments and I think that's how I know when I'm in the right relationship. Is it gonna be perfect? No. Am I gonna be perfect? No. Is she? No. Could she be perfect for me? Possibly."
To watch Christian's full interview, click here!
Featured image by Joe Seer / Shutterstock.com
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Not Using Probiotics In Your Skincare Routine? Here Are 7 Reasons Why You Should.
Last year, I wrote an article for the site entitled, “Viral Sensation Christiana Sabino Is Using 'Pure Black Love' To Build Her Brand.” There are dozens of reasons why I’m a fan of Christiana and her brand and, as I was recently watching an Instagram post of hers, I was reminded of one of them: that woman’s skin. HAVE. MERCY. I’m going to feature it underneath this intro simply because it is definitely a salute to what having a skincare routine — and consistently practicing self-care — can do for a sistah. It’s also a PSA that if you yourself don’t have a daytime and nighttime skin regimen, hopefully, she will inspire you to cultivate one.
Anyway, I have watched enough of Christiana’s content to know that she and her husband Arismarlyn Sabino eat pretty healthy. She works out a lot too. That’s why, I would be super surprised if taking probiotics isn’t a part of her diet (because I’ve definitely seen her use fermented foods in her recipes like in this videohere). It’s a wise thing to do because probiotics do so much for the body — both inside and out.
Either way, whether she does or not, as I was thinking about what is required to have healthy, youthful, and vibrant skin like hers, I wanted to make sure to give probiotics a special mention because, although you may already know that they can help to strengthen your immune system, reduce your stress levels, manage your weight, decrease allergy-related symptoms and help to prevent heart disease, they can also do wonders when it comes to giving you the flawless skin that you desire too.
What Are Probiotics and Why Does Your Skin Adore Them So?
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Although probiotics is a word that comes up quite a bit in cyberspace, in order to explain how your skin is able to flourish with them, I want to make sure we’re all on the same page about what they are: probiotics are live microorganisms (in the form of bacteria and yeast) that help to keep your gut in good condition which ultimately helps to improve every part of you. Because your body naturally has both good and bad bacteria in it, probiotics help to keep the bad bacteria from overtaking your system, so that the good bacteria can help to keep you in optimal condition.
Although I already shared some of probiotics’ health benefits in the intro, some additional ones include their ability to reduce inflammation; help you to (better) manage your appetite; help to prevent and speed up the recovery of vaginal infections and urinary tract infections (UTIs); decrease the chances of cavities and gum disease; support you having a healthy digestive tract; lower stress and anxiety levels; help to keep your blood pressure where it should be — and yes, probiotics can also support you in having beautiful skin.
When it comes to your skin, specifically, why are probiotics so good for it? Well, the reality is that not only is 80 percent of your immunity in your gut (check out “80% Of Your Immunity Is In Your Gut. Take Care Of It Like This.”), it’s also true that when your gut is not working at its best, it can show through your skin in a myriad of different ways — ways that I will address in just a moment.
That’s why it’s a good idea to eat foods that are full of probiotics (including fermented ones like pickles, yogurt, and cheese), and that you consider taking a probiotic supplement (although you might want to speak with your doctor first because there are different strains of probiotics to choose from) and, that you use skincare products that are also rich in probiotics. As far as that last tip goes, probiotic skincare is simply about putting forth the intentional effort to apply products to your face, neck, and other parts of your body that have probiotics — yes, live bacteria — in them.
When it comes to this, the strains that you should specifically look for (you know, on the labels of the products) include:
- Lactococcus
- Bifida
- Streptococcus thermophilus
- Saccharomyces
- Lactobacillus
- Leuconostoc
The reason why you should take note of these is they are reportedly the most effective at doing the following things for your skin…
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1.Probiotics Can Reduce Dry Skin
If it seems like, no matter what you do, your skin is always dry, you should consider taking a probiotic. What research reveals is, that by doing so, not only can probiotics help to decrease transcutaneous water loss (TEWL) that’s in your system, but they can also reduce the amount of water that your skin loses throughout the day by strengthening your skin’s barrier (more on that later).
As far as which probiotics you should apply to your skin in order to keep dryness at bay, look for the strain that is called Vitreoscilla; it will help to strengthen your skin’s barrier and reduce dryness as a direct result.
2. Probiotics Can Soothe Eczema and Psoriasis
If eczema or psoriasis flare-ups are what’s driving you up the wall, probiotics can help with that. The science behind this is, that when you have these types of health-related issues, it can lead to inflammation as well as a different type of bacteria in your gut (in comparison to those who don’t have eczema or psoriasis). By taking a probiotic, it can reduce the inflammation and alter the bacteria that you have which can, in turn, reduce the symptoms.
And just what kind of probiotic-based skincare products can help with this? Strains likeBifidobacterium lactis and Lactobacillus acidophilus currently show the most promise.
3. Probiotics Can Speed Up the Healing Process of Breakouts
I’m telling you, if you want to look and feel better, you’ve got to pay more attention to your gut health. Take breakouts, for example. Did you know science says that the condition of your gut and acne actually on hand in hand? The gist is that when the gut’s microbe is not where it should be, that can trigger inflammation which oftentimes results in pimples forming.
This is just one more reason to add a probiotic to your diet and to apply probiotic skincare strains of Lactobacillus acidophilus or Bifidobacterium bifidum to your skin; they help to reduce breakouts.
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4. Probiotics Can Balance Your Skin’s pH
If you’ve ever wondered what pH stands for, it’s “potential hydrogen;” it basically speaks to how acidic or alkaline something is. When it comes to your skin, this matters because if it’s too acidic or alkaline (which basically means basic), that can result in dry skin, itchiness, inflammation, sensitivity, and other skin-related issues. That said, if your skin is healthy, it will have a pH of somewhere around 5.5 which is slightly acidic. And how can you know what your skin’s pH is?
The best way to test this is by booking an appointment with a dermatologist. However, if you notice some of the symptoms that I just mentioned, take a probiotic and see if your skin improves within a few weeks. Oh, and when it comes to sensitive skin, especially, skincare that has Streptococcus thermophilus in it should be able to help you out by elevating the ceramide levels that are in your skin.
5. Probiotics Can Improve Your Skin’s Barrier
The outermost layer of your skin is your skin’s barrier — and it goes through a lot. In fact, a Healthline article that I read on it stated, “This fantastically thin brick wall is literally keeping you alive. Without it, various harmful environmental toxins and pathogens could penetrate your skin and cause adverse effects inside your body.” Therefore, if there is anything that you should want to go almost overboard about in maintaining, your skin’s barrier would be it.
And since it is the “front line of defense” for your skin, in a lot of ways, that means your skin’s barrier is vulnerable to things like rough skin, itchy skin, fungal infections and inflammation. It’s a good thing that probiotics can help with strengthening your skin’s barrier so that there is less of a chance that these things will happen. A list of some of the best probiotics for your skin’s barrier can be found here. The types of bacteria strains (probiotics) to look for in skincare as it relates to your skin’s barrier are Bifidobacterium, Lactobacillus, and Vitreoscilla.
6. Probiotics Can Reduce UV Damage
It can’t be said enough that everyone needs to be proactive when it comes to keeping their skin from experiencing UV damage (which is damage that the sun causes). Believe it or not, probiotics can help in this department as well because they can help to reduce oxidative stress, and inflammation and they also help to protect your skin’s barrier while you are outdoors. As far as your skincare plan, your best bet here would be to look for sunscreens that have probiotics in them. COOLA is one brand that many people are fond of.
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7. Probiotics Can Slow Down the Signs of Aging
One more. Although aging is a natural part of life (that should be embraced, by the way), when you factor in things like the years of what the sun can do; the loss of elastin and collagen over time; the shifts in pH balance; the fluctuations of your hormones; the damage that comes from oxidative stress; the decrease in melanocytes (pigment cells); the less natural oil that your skin produces; the natural fat layers that begin to thin out more and more — if nothing else will convince you to be hypervigilant in taking care of your skin, all of this stuff should.
And yes, probiotics can even assist with slowing down the signs of aging in your skin because, thanks to what is known as the skin-gut axis, the more good bacteria that are in your gut, the less inflammation your skin will experience, the more elasticity it will have and the less oxidative stress that it will go through.
So, definitely take a probiotic for this and look for skincare products that contain the strain known as Bacillus coagulans. It’s directly connected to helping your skin to age at a slower rate, so that your skin is looking fabulous, from the inside out, for many years to come.
All this from probiotics? Yep.
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