
This Gynecologist Is Empowering Our Women To Take Their Sexual Health In Their Own Hands

Chimson "Dr. Chimmy" Oleka is passionate about helping girls and young women better understand their bodies and reproductive systems.
As an adolescent and pediatric gynecologist, she works daily to diagnose conditions, build treatment plans, and inspire by action through education. In addition to her duties as a 30-something practicing doctor, the University of Louisville graduate has spoken on topics related to fertility, sexually transmitted diseases, self-confidence, and vaginal health for organizations and entities including Texas Children's Hospital, 100 Black Men, and the Children's National Health System.
"One of the things that I really love about it is that I have the opportunity to empower and to be a positive influence on young women during one of the most critical time periods of their lives," Dr. Oleka told xoNecole in an exclusive interview. "I think [the reason] I have an interest in this topic and other topics as it relates to adolescent development is because a lot of the time, who we become as adolescents affects who we become as adults."
Featured image by Janelle Alesia Photography
What's significant about what Dr. Oleka does daily is the impact of conversations she gets to have with her patients, all 21 and under. Being a Nigerian-American with a sense of today's trends and an active knowledge of the power of music, social media, and culture has helped her connect with her patients and boost relatability. And the impact goes beyond the physical and into the mental.
"Let's say I walk in and a girl who looks like me sees that I have braids and she has her hair in braids. When I say, 'Hey, I love your braids,' I just see her become relaxed and she opens up," Dr. Oleka said. "I did have one patient tell me that I look like Megan Thee Stallion—I don't (laughs)—but I think it was nice for her that I even knew who that is. One of the questions I ask patients is, 'What do you want to be or what change do you want to bring to the world?' A lot of them say, 'I want to be an OB-GYN or a doctor.' And I don't know if they're saying that just because I'm asking but I think it's nice that they're setting their sights high. I hope that maybe their interaction with me will influence [their aspirations] in a positive way."
Raised by a father who worked as a dean in higher education and a mother who enjoyed a career as a labor-and-delivery nurse, Dr. Oleka has always held the belief that strengthening the mind goes hand-in-hand with the body.
"My dad used to tell me that knowledge is power. What you're able to learn about yourself, especially as a teenager, is empowering," Oleka says. "You develop this confidence in who you are and you find out what's inside of you is stronger than anything that's around you or that comes to you. That's what resilience is, and I love that. I have the opportunity to introduce that through gynecology. I fell in love with being able to just walk women through different aspects of the things that we go through—empowering women through education, empathy, and compassion."
Featured image by Janelle Alesia Photography
"I fell in love with being able to just walk women through different aspects of the things that we go through—empowering women through education, empathy, and compassion."
Women of color face several challenges when it comes to reproductive health, including disparities in instances of life-altering fibroids, infant mortality and gynecological cancers. One other major issue Dr. Oleka sees among young women of color is contraception coercion, which she describes as the "sabotage of contraceptive methods, pregnancy coercion or pregnancy pressure."
"What that looks like is sabotaging contraceptive methods—where you have a partner trying to actively interfere with their partner's contraceptive methods—to promote a pregnancy," she says. "[It can be] hiding, withholding or destroying oral contraceptives or a contraceptive patch or poking holes in condoms. It can also mean taking the condom off during sex or not withdrawing when that was agreed upon. And then finally the pressure [manifests as] behavior that comes in the way of threatening or acts of violence if the pregnant partner doesn't comply with certain wishes."
Dr. Oleka talks candidly with girls and young women about boosting their self-esteem and gaining knowledge about their bodies or options they have based on their goals or situation, and she's a strong believer in women advocating for and supporting one another through open conversations, consistent doctor's visits and sharing information in a way that is welcoming, authoritative and caring. The sooner women start to open lines of communication with one another as mothers, sisters, aunts, peers and mentors, the better.
"Educate yourself on reproductive health, on understanding that and really seeking to empower girls as it relates to being the most authentic version of themselves," Dr. Oleka urges. "Figure out who you are and allow yourself that space and opportunity to grow—to make mistakes and to learn from them. Once you know who you are, once you're comfortable with learning and growing, it becomes less about what people on the outside are saying or pressuring you and more about, 'Well, what do I think? What do I want to achieve?' I think [it's really about] just validating a young girl's feelings, validating their need for growth. That's the key."
To learn more and keep up with Dr. Chimmy's journey, check out her website and follow her Instagram @withlove_drchimmy.
Featured image by Janelle Alesia Photography.
- I Went Off Birth Control - Natural Family Planning - xoNecole ›
- Women Are Using Yoni Steams To Heal Themselves From ... ›
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
'Leave Quicker': Keri Hilson Opens Up About Learning When To Walk Away In Love
What you might call Black love goals, Keri Hilson is kindly saying, “Nah.”
In a recent appearance on Cam Newton’s Funky Friday podcast, the We Need to Talk: Love singer opened up about a past relationship that once had the public rooting for her and former NBA star Serge Ibaka. According to Cam, the pair looked “immaculate” together. Keri agreed, admitting, “We looked good.” But her demeanor made it clear that everything that looks good isn't always a good look for you.
That was all but confirmed when Cam asked what the relationship taught her. Keri sighed deeply before replying, “Whew. Leave quicker.”
It was the kind of answer that doesn’t need to be packaged to be received, just raw truth from someone who’s done the work. “Ten months in, I should have [left],” she continued. “But I was believing. I was wanting to not believe [the signs].”
Keri revealed to Cam that despite their efforts to repair the relationship at the time, including couples counseling, individual therapy, and even sitting with Serge’s pastor, it just wasn’t meant to be. A large part of that, she said, was the seven-year age gap. “He was [in his] mid-twenties,” she said, attributing a lot of their misalignment to his youth and the temptations that came with fame, money, and status.
“There were happenings,” she shared, choosing her words carefully. “He deserved to live that… I want what you want. I don’t want anything different. So if I would’ve told him how to love me better, it would’ve denied him the experience of being ‘the man’ in the world.”
But she also made it clear that just because you understand someone’s path doesn’t mean you have to ride it out with them. Instead, you can practice compassionate detachment like our girl Keri. “You can have what you want, but you may not have me and that.”
When Cam jokingly questioned what if there was a reality where a man wanted to have both “you and a dab of that,” Keri didn’t hesitate with her stance: “No,” adding, “I can remove myself and [then you] have it. Enjoy it.” Sis said what she said.
Still, she shared that they dated for a couple of years and remain cool to this day. For Keri, being on good terms with an ex isn’t a sign of weakness; it's a reflection of where she is in her healing. In a time when blocking an ex is often seen as the ultimate sign of growth, Keri offers an alternate route: one where healing looks like resolution, not resentment. “I think because I have such a disgust for ugliness in my life. Like, I don't do well without peace between me and everyone in my life. Like, I really try to resolve issues,” she explained to Cam.
Adding, “I think that's what makes things difficult when you're like sweeping things under the rug or harboring ill feelings towards someone. When you're healed, when you've done your work, you can speak to anybody when you've healed from things. I think maybe that's the bottom line.”
Watch Keri's appearance on Funky Friday in full here.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Paras Griffin/Getty Images