

There's something really rewarding about buying your first home.
You can finally throw the deuces to those pesky landlords and leasing agents that are telling you what you can and can't do in your own home, who you can invite over, and at what time of night. Not to mention that you're so tired of things breaking in your apartment or rental and having to wait for someone to realize that having a working toilet is kind of important, especially when you're throwing away paying your hard-earned money every month for a place that you barely even like instead of building your own equity.
But the truth is that as much as the American dream of being a homeowner has been sold to us, many millennials have no idea what it takes to actually buy a home for the first time. Sure, it can be a wonderful and exciting experience. The feeling of independence and stability is something that many look forward to as they begin to build a family. But it can also weigh heavy on the pockets with all of the costs that people forget to factor in, which is why it's important to do your research before signing on the dotted line.
Enter real estate guru Christian Ross, who has been helping young adults navigate the real estate market since her humble beginnings at a boutique real estate firm. Stressing the importance of first educating her clients on aspects of the real estate market such as looking as researching neighborhoods, looking at neighboring property values, and development history, Christian has become a tour de force in the industry. Her skills have even landed her a gig on television as a realtor for HGTV's House Hunters, where she helps combines her background in public relations with her real estate expertise to help buyers make get the best home at the best deal!
We teamed up with the real estate expert to get some tips and tricks on what to keep in mind when buying your first home (or buying again in this ever-changing market).
“First timers need to understand that they're going to be spending a lot during the home buying process," says Christian. “From hiring an agent, to paying for the home inspection, it costs a lot of coins up front to shop for a home. There's no window shopping in real estate."
Upfront costs are just one of the many things you should consider when buying a home! Check out more of the real estate gems we gathered from Christian.
Search the history of the neighborhood.
Read the local newspaper in the area to see what kinds of headlines are talked about- is there a new homicide per day, or are there softer pieces about the local community center's bake sale? Seeing what kinds of topics affect the community can tell you a bit about the activity you can expect.
Christian adds: "It's imperative to research the neighborhood. Know whether the community has historic buildings, or maybe the community is historic in itself- if it is you'll know that it may be a touristy area. Research the demographics, especially if you prefer diverse communities- that way you can know if you have a predominant race or class, or if it that area is a melting pot. Looking up census' past will give you insight into that kind of information."
Look into local politics.
You'll want to see how actively the local politicians are involved with the community- either with the schools or attending community events. This will let you know whether these politicians are in office to make effective change in the neighborhood, or whether they have larger political aspirations. If it's important to you to have local politicians deeply rooted in the community, you'll want to see their voting history, political campaigns, and the programs they implement at the grassroots level.
Christian adds: "Be sure to research gentrification in that area. Especially in neighborhoods that were previously known for being the “bad side of town", check out what gentrification may have done to the area. See where it may have pushed the homeless population, sex offenders, and things like that so you know how close those populations may be. Also, see if the area is being taken over by large corporations or hipster shops and businesses."
Research the nearby school system.
If you have children who will be attending the school(s) in the community, checking into the quality of the schools is something you'll want to invest time into. Even if you don't have children, the nearby school district still has an effect on you. A good school district increases a home's value, while a poor district may affect the value of the home. It also plays into property taxes, and whether you can expect levies to be on the local ballots, which also affect your taxes.
Christian adds: "Schooldigger.com is a great tool that gives you an in-depth analysis about the PTA, teachers, and community involvement in the school district. It's great to know about the district so you know what kind of education your child will be getting, and how well the relationship is between the school and the community. If you don't have kids, it's still good information to know so you can know what to expect as far as what issues may be on ballots (as far as levies go), and also what to expect as far as taxes in the area because of the district."
Look at local attractions.
Researching the things that are in your surrounding can give you a good idea of how conveniently things are located near you. A local tourist attraction will provide diversity in the area. It will also affect the prices if the options are slim. Pick an area where you have varying options in shopping and things to do, in an effort to save money and traveling time.
Christian adds: "You'll definitely want to look at the cost of living in the area. Your community may have a pretty high standard of living if there's a tourist attraction nearby. It also helps to look at things like that so you can see how much direct access you have to resources (or maybe not have). See how far the stores you frequent are from your home, or if your community has specialty shops. If you religiously shop at Whole Foods and the nearest one is an hour away, you may not want to choose that community."
Research local neighborhood organizations.
Seeing what organizations, whether nationally or locally, are active in the community can give you a sense of what kinds of issues are important to that particular area. For example, if the Boys & Girls Club of America has an active chapter in your area, you can tell that the care of children is something that the community actively supports. These things can indicate the kind of community you're entering, and you'll be able to determine whether your personal values align with the core values of the community.
Christian adds: "Check out the neighborhood meetings, town halls, request the minutes of homeowners association meeting to see what the local politics are like and how involved the community members are in decision making. If social collaboration and activism is important to you, you'll definitely want to see what that relationship is like between citizens and the local government."
Visit at various times of the day.
Checking out the neighborhood at different points throughout the day can let you know various details that are time-sensitive, specifically traffic. Pick a Monday, Friday, and weekend to stop by the area to see the changes in these patterns.
Christian adds:"Go by at night to see how safe a community may feel. Drive through on the weekend to see what the activity is like on a non-workday. Real estate agents don't know about those kinds of things because they don't live in the neighborhood themselves. Visit the area at different times to get a well-rounded idea of what the neighborhood may be like. Is it quiet during the day but rowdy at night? Are the weekdays pretty low-key, but the weekend brings the noise from neighbors who like to party? Is the neighborhood big into yard sales and letting kids host lemonade stands? Visit at different times to see how active it may be at any given moment."
Get a home inspection.
Upon making a serious offer, you should schedule a home inspection in order to judge the quality of the home and to expose any hidden issues. A home inspection will give you insight into the home you wouldn't be able to see with your eye, and can reveal things you wouldn't have thought of inspecting but are crucial to the buying of the home. Standard home inspections include reviewing the heating system, central air system, interior plumbing, electrical systems, insulation of various parts of the home, and tests the home's foundation and other structural components.
Checking these various elements are crucial to preventing unexpected surprises and buying a home that had pre-existing conditions that, once you sign, are up to you to fix. By identifying the major repairs that need to be made beforehand, you can demand that these repairs be made by the seller, or that they reduce the price of the home.
Christian adds: "The most important thing you can do is get a home inspection because it allows you to really see what you're going to get. You'd rather spend $400 for the inspection and find out there's a $10,000 problem than to buy the home, then find out all of the money you'll have to come out of pocket for on top of what you just spent to buy. An inspection is a snapshot of the home and can be a negotiating tactic as far as getting things fixed before you close, or maybe even lowering the price. If you have to put $10,000 into renovations, maybe ask them to either lower the selling price or make the renovations themselves."
Have a sit-down with the sellers.
Even though you talk to the sellers on a regular basis, having a sit-down conversation over coffee may give you specific insight into their experience in the home and community that will help you determine whether or not you truly want to live in that neighborhood. Discussing the seller's experience can help you determine if you want the same experience.
Christian adds: "If they're willing to do it, go for it (though their agent may be hesitant). Maybe it'd be a better idea to have this talk closer to closing, but definitely consider having a conversation with the sellers about their experience in the neighborhood. You'll get a better picture of the neighborhood, and see if their experience is one you're wanting to have in the home and in the area."
Is it worth the money?
Asking the sellers the kinds of taxes, insurance, upkeep costs (like landscaping and painting) and homeowners association dues they had to pay can let you know if there are any extra expenses added in when buying the home. Knowing these kinds of additional expenses can let you know if it's worth the investment.
Christian adds: "Make sure to find out what other expenses come with the home. Make sure you're getting out of it what you're putting into it. Another key here is make sure the taxes are up to date on the property and there are no hidden fees that will pop up once you sign. Get a clean bill of financial health on the home, and make sure it's worth your money before you close."
What's the market like in the area and surrounding neighborhoods?
Asking if there are foreclosed homes nearby is something that sellers don't particularly like to be asked, but it's crucial to the value of your home. Foreclosed home are usually low in property and buying value, and many foreclosed spaces turn into low-rent homes, meaning that you may constantly have new neighbors and the property value will remain low. If the property value of other homes in the area is low, you may be able to negotiate the price of your own home and offer a significantly reduced figure.
Christian adds: "Ask, or do your own research, on what other homes are going for in the area. This is another situation in which you want to make sure that the money you're about to put into the home in actually worth it. Some sellers try to make back their mortgage plus some on a home, so make sure you're not getting gypped."
Christian's Final Tip:
"Meet with a loan consultant before you even begin searching for a home and see what you truly qualify for (in terms of financing a home) and what's really in your budget. Also, make sure you have a solid understanding of how your loans and mortgage break down. It's always good to get approved for certain loans before you even consider buying a home that you can't pay for otherwise."
Pro Tip: You can use your 401K towards your down payment! Make sure that's one of the many options you explore with your loan consultant and your real estate agent.
Did we miss something? Share your home-buying tips below!
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
The Power Of Your Big 3: How Your Sun, Moon & Rising Signs Shape You
Astrology has become even more mainstream and a phenomenon than it ever has in the past. We have gone beyond the, “What’s your sign?” and have moved into “What’s your big 3?” seemingly overnight, and rightly so due to the significance of knowing these important details. Your Big 3 in Astrology represents your sun sign, your moon sign, and your rising sign.
This trifecta is thought to be one of the most significant details of your birth chart and gives you and others more of a full-picture look at who you are beyond just your sun sign.
Knowing your big 3 is important, especially if you are someone who has never really resonated with your sun sign. You read about what it means to be an Aries, but it may not align with what you see or your experience with other Aries. Meanwhile, the whole time, you have a Libra rising, the complete opposite sign of Aries, and this is why you have always seen yourself as a more laid-back and less confrontational Aries.
Elements hold a key role in your birth chart and having a big 3 where the elements are all compatible or the same often signifies someone who knows who they are and is comfortable in their skin. Whereas someone with a different element for each part of their big 3 may have challenges with identity or defining who they are or how they want to present themselves. It’s a different type of perspective when looking into your big 3, and it helps you see where your strengths and needs are in life, and how to tap more into this potential.
Your Big 3 In Astrology, Explained
Your big 3 can help you navigate life by understanding which part of you comes out more in different circumstances. At home, you are most like your moon sign, when you are out and about, you are most like your rising sign. Whether you are at home or out and about, your goals, purpose, and interests are most like your sun sign.
You can find out what your big 3 is by looking up a ‘Birth Chart Calculator’ on your search engine, typing in your birthday details (you will need to know your birth date, location, and the exact time you were born), and generating your birth chart.
Read below for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
YOUR SUN SIGN
Your sun sign represents the core of you and what motivates you to shine and be your best self. This is your personality, goals, purpose, identity, ego, interests, direction, and where you light up in life.
FIRE SUN (Aries Sun, Leo Sun, Sagittarius Sun)
If you are an Aries sun, a Leo sun, or a Sagittarius sun, you are outgoing, confident, fearless, and in tune with yourself and your personal goals and desires in life. You go after the things you want, and you are not afraid to take up space. You are someone who prefers to be more independent, and you are often in more leadership roles in life.
EARTH SUN (Taurus Sun, Virgo Sun, Capricorn Sun)
If you are a Taurus sun, a Virgo sun, or a Capricorn sun, you are grounded, dependable, loyal, hard-working, and logical. You prefer the finer things in life but also work hard to get where you are. You are someone others feel they can rely on, and you are often a support for other people in your life. You are very connected to the material sides of life, and have a gift for manifesting.
AIR SUN (Gemini Sun, Libra Sun, Aquarius Sun)
If you are a Gemini sun, a Libra sun, or an Aquarius sun, you are light-hearted, free-flowing, intelligent, and communicative. You speak what is on your mind, and you love to connect and communicate with others. People know you for the things you say and your out-of-the-box ideas, and you are someone who is open-minded and provides a safe space for people to be authentically themselves.
WATER SUN (Cancer Sun, Scorpio Sun, Pisces Sun)
If you are a Cancer sun, a Scorpio sun, or a Pisces sun, you are thoughtful, generous, emotional, loving, and compassionate. You care deeply about the people you love, and you are always there for others. You may be more emotional than most, and this is due to your strong intuition and open heart. You are creative, inspiring, and motivated towards connection in life.
YOUR MOON SIGN
Your moon sign represents your emotions. This is the way you express yourself emotionally, how you process your emotions, what you need in love, what makes you feel safe and nurtured, your desires, intuition, your inner world, and what’s going on beneath the surface.
FIRE MOON (Aries Moon, Leo Moon, Sagittarius Moon)
If you are an Aries moon, a Leo moon, or a Sagittarius moon, you are someone who is not afraid to communicate your emotions or how you are feeling, and you can feel your emotions from a mile away. You are confident in yourself and are someone who stands up for what you feel is right. You have a strong need to be seen and heard in your relationships, and a certain type of understanding is needed for you to emotionally thrive. You may have some challenges with anger or high energy and are working through emotional impulses in this lifetime.
EARTH MOON (Taurus Moon, Virgo Moon, Capricorn Moon)
If you are a Taurus moon, a Virgo moon, or a Capricorn moon, you are someone who is emotionally grounded, safe, comforting, and logical. You aren’t overly emotional and may not show your emotions to people much at all, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have them. You think before you speak, and you process your emotions before acting on them, and you tend to be more down-to-earth and understanding when it comes to other people’s emotional worlds as well. You are someone people go to when they need someone to talk to you as you are a very good listener.
AIR MOON (Gemini Moon, Libra Moon, Aquarius Moon)
If you are a Gemini moon, a Libra moon, or an Aquarius moon, you are someone who is fun, outgoing, and emotionally open-minded. You don’t like heavy emotions or too much emotional drama, and you tend to be more go-with-the-flow in this area of your life. Good conversation and mutual understanding are very important to you in your relationships and you want funny banter and inspiration in your connections with others.
WATER MOON (Cancer Moon, Scorpio Moon, Pisces Moon)
If you are a Cancer moon, a Scorpio moon, or a Pisces moon, you are someone who lives by their heart and values your emotional world deeply. You crave a deep type of intimacy in your partnerships and you need a partner who is going to give you that type of emotional connection. You are more private with your emotional world and you tend to hold a lot in, but this can often lead to sudden outbursts as well. Overall, you are the definition of emotion and others learn a lot from you on what it means to love and to feel.
YOUR ASCENDANT (RISING SIGN)
Your ascendant sign represents your perception and the energy you put out into the world. This is the way you come across to others, the way you express yourself, your physical traits and aesthetics, how you manifest, society, and what you expect from the world around you.
FIRE ASCENDANT (Aries Rising, Leo Rising, Sagittarius Rising)
If you are an Aries rising, a Leo rising, or a Sagittarius rising, you come across to others as confident, bold, and stylish. You are known for the way you look or the way you present yourself, and you are usually adorned in bright colors or wearing something that others take a lot of notice of. You are someone who walks into a room, and all eyes are on you, and you love that. You want to be on the move and on the go, and you love to show up in the world exactly as you are today. You see the world with a lot of possibilities and like it's yours to have fun and enjoy yourself in.
EARTH ASCENDANT (Taurus Rising, Virgo Rising, Capricorn Rising)
If you are a Taurus rising, a Virgo rising, or a Capricorn rising, you come across to others as responsible, beautiful, natural, and dependable. You are a hard worker, and you may be known for your career or the work that you do. You are someone who walks into a room and people feel an immediate sense of comfort and like you are someone they can trust. You have strong values and goals, and you are someone who knows what they want. People love to be around your down-to-earth energy, and you make others feel safe and grounded.
AIR ASCENDANT (Gemini Rising, Libra Rising, Aquarius Rising)
If you are a Gemini rising, a Libra rising, or an Aquarius rising, you come across to others as outgoing, friendly, and talkative. You see the world as a place to learn, connect, and be inspired, and you are on a quest for knowledge and understanding. You connect with people from all walks of life, and you tend to have a pretty open-minded and unique friend group. You care a lot about your style and aesthetic and always strive to be authentically you wherever you are. You can talk to people for hours and are often meeting new people and making new friends wherever you go.
WATER ASCENDANT (Cancer Rising, Scorpio Rising, Pisces Rising)
If you are a Cancer rising, a Scorpio rising, or a Pisces rising, you navigate life through the lens of your emotions, and you are deeply connected to the undercurrents of life. You are ruled by your emotions, and this side of you is not something you can keep hidden away easily. You get emotional when you think about society and others at large, and you want to be known for the kind and sincere person you are. When you walk into a room, you feel other people's energy right away and are highly empathic and intuitive.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by We Are/Getty Images
Originally published on April 20, 2024