Shortly after the birth of my second child, I felt completely lost.
I would chalk it up to having to care for a newborn baby and a toddler at the same time with little to no support. I blamed my struggling marriage, my limited support system, and even the weather: anything to explain the mood swings, the anxiety and the constant flood of tears. It wasn't until a few years later that I realized that had my own bout with postpartum depression (PPD).
About 1 in 7 women experience symptoms of postpartum depression.
These numbers might be underestimated due to the fact that there is still such a stigma surrounding mental illness, especially in the Black community. It is said that the symptoms of postpartum depression closely resemble those of classic depression and can include: crying more often than usual, feelings of anger, withdrawing from loved ones, feeling distant from your baby, worrying or feeling overly anxious, thinking about hurting yourself or your baby, and/or doubting your ability to care for your baby.
This is more than the typical "baby blues." PPD starts after the birth of the baby and can last for weeks, months or even years. Along with serious changes to your physical body, many people often gloss over the mental impact having a baby can have.
Recently, more and more high-profile women have been willing to come forward and express their own battles with the baby blues and PPD. And while no two women are the same, the more we shine a light on these issues, the more we can remove the stigma surrounding mental health and show other women that not only is PPD common, it is also treatable.
Cardi B gave birth to her first child, daughter Kulture Kiari, in July. The typically outspoken and social media happy rapper has flown under the radar since then, but she recently revealed via Instagram that she too is going through it. One of the symptoms of PPD include sadness and crying uncontrollably for long periods of time. She says:
"This postpartum s—t is annoying. Like I been emotional all f—king day for no reason."
Becoming a new mother is no easy task, no matter how it may look on social media. The lack of sleep, the recovery from the birth process, and the learning curve associated with caring for a newborn can breakdown even the baddest of bitches. The Invasion of Privacy rapstress initially thought she would be able to join Bruno Mars on a world tour after a short maternity leave, but the reality of taking care of a newborn superseded her need to get back on the road. Sometimes the best way to cope with any postpartum symptoms is to stop and recognize your own limitations. She revealed:
Cardi B's Instagram
"I underestimated this whole mommy thing. Not only am I just not ready physically, I'm not ready to leave my baby behind since the doctors explained it's not her to be on the road."
Serena Williams has been especially candid about her birthing process and the health issues she experienced after the birth of her daughter Olympia. And while she was able to physically bounce back and compete in this year's Wimbledon final, the new mom is still recovering from postpartum symptoms. Feeling like a bad mother is a common symptom as well, and as Serena reveals, being away from her child has taken its toll. Thankfully, she is using her platform to remind women that these feelings are totally normal and that having a good support system while finding balance is vital. She reveals:
"Last week was not easy for me. Not only was I accepting some tough personal stuff, but I just was in a funk. Mostly, I felt like I was not a good mom. I read several articles that said postpartum emotions can last up to 3 years if not dealt with. I like communication best. Talking things through with my mom, my sisters, my friends let me know that my feelings are totally normal...I'm not around as much as I would like to be. Most of you moms deal with the same thing. Whether stay-at-home or working, finding that balance with kids is a true art. You are the true heroes."
Another woman that has been brave enough to reveal her battle with PPD is Chrissy Teigen. The generally outspoken mother of two initially was afraid to speak about the issues she was quietly dealing with, but in an open letter to Glamour, Teigen details her experience, which included severe body pain that wouldn't go away, extreme sadness, anxiety, and a loss of appetite, which are all signals that PPD is rearing its ugly head. She told Glamour:
"I had everything I needed to be happy. And yet, for much of the last year, I felt unhappy. What basically everyone around me—but me—knew up until December was this: I have postpartum depression. How can I feel this way when everything is so great?"
The model and author knows that her voice can help other women move past the shame associated with PPD, and by doing so, she is helping more women than she might even imagine.
Chrissy's Instagram
"I'm speaking up now because I want people to know it can happen to anybody and I don't want people who have it to feel embarrassed or to feel alone."
We all know that as a woman moves through pregnancy, her body drastically changes. What some may not realize, the physical effects of pregnancy can persist for months, and not everyone can just bounce back into bikini shape. During pregnancy, everything stretches and expands to accommodate the growing baby, including the uterus. It often takes weeks if not months for the uterus shrinks back to its pre-pregnancy size. Combine that with the expected weight gain, some women never snapback, and that's okay.
Beyoncé recently revealed to Vogue her own experience after having an emergency C-section for the birth of her twins. She shines a light on how invasive the procedure is and how much taking time to recover from the process is more important than worrying about her six pack. She says she practiced a lot of self-care and patience and is no rush to trim down her FUPA. The singer says:
"After the C-section, my core felt different. It had been major surgery. Some of your organs are shifted temporarily, and in rare cases, removed temporarily during delivery. I am not sure everyone understands that. I needed time to heal, to recover. During my recovery, I gave myself self-love and self-care, and I embraced being curvier. I accepted what my body wanted to be...To this day my arms, shoulders, breasts, and thighs are fuller. I have a little mommy pouch, and I'm in no rush to get rid of it. I think it's real. Whenever I'm ready to get a six-pack, I will go into beast zone and work my ass off until I have it. But right now, my little FUPA and I feel like we are meant to be."
Body positivity after birth means being able to be patient with yourself and accepting the beautiful gift of our body's ability to produce life regardless of what it may do to our figures. Tia Mowry also knows that bouncing back right away after having a baby is not only unrealistic, it is setting a dangerous standard for women to live up to. The mother of two recently revealed her post-pregnancy body in a post on Instagram, and she reminds women to take their time and go at their own pace when it comes to returning to a pre-pregnancy body. She says:
"I wanted to shine a light on how our society creates false expectations after a woman gives birth. Ladies, it's okay that our bodies are not PERFECT after our babies are born. Give yourself time. Go at your own pace. Don't allow people to put a time limit on YOUR body,"
"I had seen in magazines the many women on the beach a few weeks postpartum in a two piece. To be honest, it had to take time for me to embrace my new body. With this second pregnancy, I now have embraced that fact that I've housed a human being. A miracle. A life. If it takes a while for me to get back to my normal self, than so be it."
Anyone who is blessed enough to have their own birth experience needs to recognize the fact that making babies is really HARD! We need to be more forgiving of ourselves, our emotions, and our bodies and be willing to work towards acceptance and asking for help when we need it. And for anyone who wants to support their friends and family through these times, it's so important to remember to be compassionate. Rather than dismiss their feelings, encourage them to speak with their doctors about their concerns.
Patience is a virtue, and after childbirth, it's the most important one to have.
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Michelle Schmitz is a writer and editor based in Washington, DC originally from Ft Lauderdale, FL. A self-described ambivert, you can find her figuring out ways to read more than her monthly limit of The New York Times, attending concerts, and being a badass, multi-tasking supermom. She also runs her own blog MichelleSasha.com. Keep up with her latest moves on IG: @michellesashawrites and Twitter: @michellesashas
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
WNBA star Angel Reese stuns on and off the court, and now she’s spilling her beauty and skincare secrets with us. The 22-year-old gave some insight into her beauty and skincare routine while speaking to Vogue, including her game day routine.
“My grandma used to always put mascara on my eyes when I was younger, and I used to go on the basketball court; that’s how I got the name 'Bayou Barbie' ‘cause I always had my nails, lashes, hair done,” she explained.
Below, Angel shares the skincare products that make her skin glow and her go-to makeup looks.
Check out her routines below.
Skincare
Vogue/YouTube
Angel starts with La Roche-Posay Hydrating Gentle Cleanser. “I love skincare. Makes me feel good, makes me feel cleanse, especially after a long day because I’m always on the go,” she said. “I play sports, so my face is always drenched with sweat, and I always gotta keep it clean.”
Vogue/YouTube
Angel uses two moisturizers. She uses Fenty Skin Hydra Vizor Invisible Moisturizer SPF 30 first and follows it up with Cetaphil Soothing Gel Cream with Aloe.
"You have to use the thinnest layer and then the thickest layer," she said. "I learned these tips because one time I posted a skincare routine and they were like, you need to run that back. And they taught me you need to do thin then thick and then I could see the complete difference with my skin."
Vogue/YouTube
She keeps Laniege Lip Balm with her at all times, including during games.
Vogue/YouTube
One-Size Setting Spray is her go-to for keeping her makeup fresh on the court. “I usually spray my beauty blender with my setting spray,” she said. “People usually wet the beauty blender under the water, but why not set it with this.”
Vogue/YouTube
She rounds out her beauty routine with mascara, brows, and her lip combo using Rare Beauty Kind Words Lip Liner and Covergirl Clean Fresh Yummy Gloss. But before closing, she made sure to give flowers to the WNBA stars before her who were also known for getting glammed on and off the court.
“I gotta give kudos to the girls who were wearing makeup before. Lisa Leslie, Skylar Diggins, Candace Parker. Everybody already had their edges and their lashes, lipstick on," she said. "Tina Thompson; she used to wear a full red lip on her lips during the game, but that’s something I could probably never do.”
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Feature image by Vogue/YouTube