October is breast cancer awareness month. According to cancer.org, breast cancer is the second leading cause of death for women and Black women have the highest death rate from the disease. Every October, we are reminded of the shocking statistics and how essential preventive measures are. Normani has joined the conversation about breast cancer among Black women after sharing that her mother has been diagnosed with the disease for a second time. One of the things she learned from her mom was the importance of breast self-exams.
“I watched my mother find her own lumps both times she had breast cancer,” Normani said according to ESSENCE. “She taught me the importance of looking out for changes in your breasts and educated me on what mammograms were at an early age.”
Along with self-exams, the “Motivation” singer, who is also an ambassador with the American Cancer Society, wants people to look into genetic testing. “I also encourage anyone who has a family member with cancer to see that your family talks to a doctor about genetic testing,” she said. “We have taken these measures as a family. Knowledge is power, so whatever you don’t know, don’t be afraid to ask.”
Jazmine Sullivan has also been fighting to disseminate information to the Black community about breast cancer after her mom was diagnosed with the disease in 2019. She fought the disease but unfortunately, the singer revealed during her recent One Music Fest performance that it came back.
The “Pick Up Your Feelings” singer echoed the same sentiments as Normani about knowing your family’s history. In a 2021 interview with Yahoo, Jazmine shared steps she’s taken to minimize her risk of the disease. “Setting up my own mammogram, talking to my mother about our family history,” she said. “What was crazy is that she actually has a sister that had breast cancer twice. So it really shouldn't have been as shocking as it was in our family, but I feel like a lot of families don't really talk about it.”
“And that's the problem; we don't discuss our own family history with health, [which] became important to me as well [and] that trickled into the conversations that I'm having with my girlfriends.”
Breastcancer.org has listed a step-by-step process in performing a breast self-exam. Here’s what to do:
Step 1: Stand in the mirror with your hands on your hips and exam your breasts. Check to see that everything looks the same and there aren’t any changes such as redness, rashes, inverted nipple, swelling, or bulging of the skin.
Step 2: Continue looking in the mirror but raise your arms this time. Look to see if any fluid (watery, milky, yellow fluid, or blood) is coming out of your nipples.
Step 3: Lay down and check your breasts for any lumps or abnormalities. Take two fingers and press down on each breast and also move them in a circular motion.
Step 4: Lastly, stand up or sit down and check your breasts for lumps or abnormalities using the same techniques in step 3.
Call your doctor if you notice any lumps or abnormalities.
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Featured image by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images for Burberry
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak