Dear Queen,
“Sometimes the beauty is in the attempt, you tried everything, you fought and it still didn’t work..”
Dear Queen,
“Sometimes the beauty is in the attempt, you tried everything, you fought and it still didn’t work..”
Celebrate the love that hurt you.
celebrate the person who couldn’t love you right.
The one who kept you guessing and lead you on,
who would kiss you and under the same breath say, “we are just friends”,
Who would say “I love you” and disappear,
Who made you feel like a desperate version of yourself.
Celebrate that you recognize and see now what inconsistent, unbalanced love does to a person and remember to never give it yourself.
Celebrate in knowing you are better off without that kind of love,
celebrate to know that love changes and shifts, just like life.
So sometimes “the one” isn’t really “the one” and just a lesson needed in that moment of your journey.
Celebrate that love had power to move you and that’s how you know it was real — it changed you.
[Tweet "Celebrate that you know how to hold a heart without breaking it."]
Instead of crying tears of hurt
pop a bottle, put on your beautiful smile
and celebrate what you gained, not lost —
you lose nothing, they do.
Celebrate that this insane, crazy, miraculous life is much more than just one unbalanced love -
celebrate that you deserve more.
______________________________________________________________
Demetra Demi Gregorakis is a writer, dedicated to sharing her soul with the universe. Her debut book of poetry "Love Letters In The Wall: Agapé Edition" is coming soon! For more adventures on love and life follow her at medium and twitter!
Dear Queen is a weekly series dedicated to letters and poems from women written for themselves and other women. Have a “Dear Queen” letter? We want to read it! E-mail your letters to editor@xonecole.com. Subject: ‘Dear Queen’
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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For some people, springtime can be a bit of a polarizing experience. On one hand, while they enjoy the warm weather and how pretty nature becomes, if they deal with allergies, they know that it’s only a matter of moments before they are gonna be out here with itchy eyes, a runny nose, a headache and all sorts of other allergy-related symptoms.
And why is it so rough during the spring season? The main reason is because the spring and fall seasons are when pollen likes to run amuck. And although there are medications that you can take to help to ease your allergy symptoms, there are also natural remedies that are proven to provide you with some much-needed relief as well.
Below, I have 12. Ones that are easy on your system, don’t have side effects, and can help you to enjoy spending time outdoors without all of the…allergy-related drama.
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I can’t say enough how I think it’s amazing that we live in a country that will push all kinds of medications down our throats (billions of side effects and all) and yet when it comes to natural remedies, “experts” will go out of their way to disprove those. Take consuming local honey, for instance. Although I am fortunate to not have to deal with allergies (food, seasonal, etc.) at all, many people in my world do and, in spite of folks who say that using local honey in order to treat them minimizes their symptoms (because there is local pollen in local honey), some health folks think that is just a myth.
However, there are some studies that say there is some truth to this approach, especially since honey contains enzymes that help to boost your immunity and as well as reduce inflammation. My two cents: take a teaspoon of local honey every morning and see how you feel. If it works, awesome. If it doesn’t — well, with all of the other benefits that come from honey (its antioxidants, how it improves gut health, how it aids in sleep, etc.), you’re still doing your body a world of good by consuming it.
I’m telling you — no matter what is going on in your life (that is health or beauty-related), there is going to be an essential oil, somewhere, that can improve it. When it comes to allergies, specifically, you should look into using a blend of sandalwood, frankincense, and Ravensara oils. Sandalwood is good for you because it helps to reduce inflammation, it has antimicrobial benefits and antioxidants and it helps to relax your system.
Frankincense has anti-inflammatory, expectorant, and antiseptic properties; it contains compounds that can bring relief to asthma-related symptoms, boost immunity, and reduce stress; frankincense makes it easier to sleep at night. And although you may not be familiar with Ravensara, it’s one that you want to get familiar with because it also strengthens your immune system and it helps to keep your lungs clear. You can put this blend into a diffuser or you can mix it with a carrier oil and rub it onto your chest before turning in for the evening.
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If you’ve never heard of stinging nettle before, it’s a plant that is used for a variety of health-related issues. Aside from the fact that it’s packed with vitamins A, C, magnesium, iron, calcium, amino acids, potassium, beta-carotene, and flavonoids (plant pigments that have antioxidants in them), stinging nettle also has anti-inflammatory and anti-infectious properties that help to lower your blood pressure, regulate your blood sugar and it can even help to treat prostate issues in men.
The reason why you should consider taking it as a supplement or drinking some stinging nettle tea during allergy season is it helps to reduce inflammation, and block histamine (the chemical in your immune system that causes your body to have allergy-related symptoms like sneezing, itching, and having a runny nose) receptors and reduce symptoms that are directly associated with hay fever.
If one of the things that irks you to no end about allergy season is how itchy your eyes can get, it’s always a good idea to keep a cold washcloth close by. Not only will it help to soothe your irritated eyes as it reduces mild inflammation and puffiness, but this type of cool compress can also help to wipe away the pollen, dander, and whatever other allergens that are causing your eyes stress in the first place.
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There are certain foods that can help to get you through the allergy season. For instance, foods that are high in quercetin are good for you. And just what is quercetin? It’s a plant pigment that contains properties that help to lower your blood pressure, improve the quality of your workouts, and even slow down signs of aging. As far as allergies go, quercetin can help you out because it also has anti-inflammatory properties; plus, it helps to block the production of histamine. Foods that are high in quercetin include apples, kale, broccoli, red onions, and green tea.
Something that allergies are prone to do is produce mucus. That’s because mucus is your body’s way of trying to keep allergens from going too deep into your system. And even though mucus is needed (whether we realize it or like it or not), dealing with thick mucus can oftentimes make you feel pretty miserable. That said, if you’ve heard somewhere before that consuming dairy will only produce more mucus and make it thicker too — here’s the deal. What science states is dairy doesn’t so much cause mucus to transpire so much as trigger additional production of mucus — meaning, most research says that there isn’t a direct correlation between dairy and mucus.
HOWEVER, since research also reveals that milk contains properties that are linked to diabetes and heart disease, a lot of it is full of hormones and pesticides and milk can increase inflammation in your system and inflammation is what happens when you have allergy symptoms (although yogurt is a dairy-based food that decreases inflammation) — sounds to me like it can actually work in your favor to decrease your dairy consumption during allergy season and go with some dairy alternatives (like coconut milk, almond milk, hemp milk, oat milk or cashew milk, etc.) instead.
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If you’re looking for some all-natural allergy relief, you definitely should give (the plant) butterbur a try. As I was doing some research on it, I noticed that it has a pretty solid reputation when it comes to treating migraines, hay fever, and asthma as well as bringing relief to symptoms like sneezing, itchy eyes, and nasal congestion. Although many people are fans of it, if you choose to take it in supplement form, make sure to run it by your doctor first.
For one thing, it could affect how other medications are processed in your system. Also, too much of it has the potential to stress your liver out. Oh, and if you are allergic to ragweed, it won’t help you much because it is actually a part of the ragweed plant family (sorry).
If you’re someone who enjoys the great outdoors yet wants to keep allergens from getting on your last nerve, it’s best to spend time outside between the hours of 4 a.m. and noon. Apparently, that is the time of the day when pollen is at its lowest. And when does it like to show out the most? That would be between 2 p.m. and 9 p.m., to be exact. So, if you like to meditate or exercise outdoors, doing it before lunchtime is going to be your best bet…as far as your allergies are concerned.
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Some of us are old enough to remember having grandparents who hated the mere thought of us wearing “outside clothes” for too long after coming inside their house. Well, if you’re someone who deals with allergies, you should actually keep that tradition going because your clothes probably have pollen all over them. And, if you wearing those same articles while sitting on the couch or resting on your bed, you’ve just tracked all of that into your house…and your body will react similarly to how it did while you were outdoors.
Just like it’s a good idea to change your clothes during allergy season, you should consider taking a shower before turning in at night as well. Not only does that significantly decrease your chances of ending up with allergens in your bedding, but showers before bedtime also help to reduce stress, lower your blood pressure, and clear up any nasal congestion that you might have. For tips on how to have a fabulous nighttime shower during the spring season, check out “How To Turn Your Showers Into A Tranquil DIY Spa.”
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There is nothing like fresh air, I ain’t got no lies to tell you. Still, if you’ve got allergy issues, opening up your windows is going to bring some of what’s outdoors indoors. That’s why it’s best that you keep your windows closed as much as possible and that you turn on an air purifier. Air purifiers are bomb because they help to decrease allergens, contaminants, and dust particles and they can even reduce the spreading of certain viruses that may be in the air.
Just keep in mind that although air purifiers are effective, they can’t totally remove any of these things nor are they the best at getting rid of mold, nicotine, or animal dander. Just something to keep in mind.
I mean, you can check out articles like “10 Irrefutable Reasons To Have An Orgasm A Day” to see why it can never hurt to get some (safe) nookie in as much as possible; however, when it comes to your allergies, specifically, science says that engaging in sexual activity can help to strengthen your immune system.
Case in point: one study revealed that participants who had sex no less than three times a week ended up having more of the antibody immunoglobulin A in their saliva which helps to fight off viruses, bacteria, and health-related issues like bronchitis, asthma, sinusitis, eye and ear infections too. Hmph. As if you needed convincing to have more orgasms, right? I’m sayin’.
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And finally, definitely one of the reasons why allergy season is irritating for so many is because they aren’t able to find the proper relief — and that is because they are playing “Google expert” instead of actually making an appointment with an allergist. Why should you do that? Because they are professionally trained to test you in a way that will help you to get to the root of what you actually are allergic to.
So, if you do indeed have allergy symptoms yet you’ve never been officially diagnosed with what is causing them, it’s worth the investment to see a specialist in the field. The sooner you know what the issue is, the sooner you can find some much-needed relief. Zocdoc is one site that can help you find an allergist who is in your area and network. Go here for more info.
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