If you frequent this site a lot—and hopefully, you do—you can certainly vouch for the fact that we talk about orgasms. A LOT. Off the top of my head, we've published "WTF Is A Blended Orgasm?", "10 Unexpected Ways To Intensify Your Orgasm", "This Is How To Master The Female Orgasm", "10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm" and "4 Hit It From The Back Moves That Are Bound To Get You To Orgasm"—and that's just for starters!
Are we obsessed? Eh, maybe a little. I mean, who doesn't enjoy having an orgasm?! But aside from the close-to-indescribable rush of pleasure that orgasms bring, there is also plenty of research and documentation that they do wonders for our health and well-being too. How?
Orgasms relieve stress, increase blood circulation, help to regulate your period, lessen pain (including headaches), strengthen your immune system, put you in a better mood, make you smarter—I mean, really…need I go on?
So, when I happened to notice that July 31 is National Orgasm Day, of course, I had to give a day that is so important to us—and hopefully to you—a big ole' shout out! When you think of all of the holidays and other special days of observance that come up in a 365-day cycle, be honest. Can you think of any other day (shy of your birthday) that you'd want to take out the time to celebrate more? Yeah, me neither. If you'd like to make this particular orgasm day the best one yet, here are some things that will literally turn your climaxes into the gift that just keeps on givin'.
1. Workout for 30-45 Minutes
Although I don't live in the gym, some of my closest friends do, and a few of them are big fans of post-sex coitus. They claim that it provides a high like no other (I did some Googling and there are several articles that actually cosign on that). At the same time, there are also articles that give rave reviews when it comes to getting a little cardio in on the front-end as well. The feel-good hormones endorphins, dopamine and oxytocin that come from exercising will intensify during sex, the increased blood flow from the workout will make your orgasms stronger, and since exercising can improve flexibility, it'll be easier to get into all of those sex positions that help you to orgasm the easiest too.
So yeah, if you didn't already workout this morning, try and get a half-hour or so in before heading home. That, combined with a warm shower (or even some shower sex), can take your climaxes totally to the next level!
2. Have a Fresh Berry Salad
If you're hungry but you're not sure what you want, this is the perfect time of year to enjoy a fresh salad; preferably one with some spinach and berries on it. Spinach, because the manganese that's in it will increase your estrogen levels, while the zinc that it contains will boost up your sex drive. Berries, because strawberries contain vitamin C, zinc, and iron to give you more stamina, blueberries trigger dopamine in your system so that you'll feel more pleasure, and raspberries because they've got Vitamin E in them. Vitamin E has the nickname "the sex vitamin" because of its uncanny ability to help us to strengthen our sexual performance.
3. Enjoy an Orgasm Cocktail
If you want a technical breakdown for why and how alcohol makes you horny,Maxim broke it all down pretty well. And, if your favorite alcoholic beverage of choice is wine, word on the street is the scent of Zinfandel or Pinot Noir is what will get you all hot 'n bothered, while the aroma of champagne or Moscato will do a man in.
Still, I figured that in honor of National Orgasm Day, why not toast one another and/or the sex you're about to have with a couple of Screaming Orgasm Cocktails? It's basically a combination of vodka, Irish cream and coffee liqueur that gets the name because of how good it tastes. But if somehow, even after reading through all of this, I still can't convince you to engage in a couple of romps, at least you can make this drink and not be lying when you say, "Yep. I had an orgasm last night" while talking to one of your girls tomorrow.
4. Affirm Your Partner
There's no question that the biggest erogenous zone that we have is our brain. After all, how could any of us become sexually stimulated without it? That's why you should never underestimate how much you and your partner need to feel positive, connected and affirmed by one another before, during and even after coitus goes down.
Take a few moments to talk about what you enjoy about one another and even what some of your fantasies are. Eye contact, heartfelt sentiments and honest compliments are some of the most slept-on acts of foreplay that there is.
5. Go Someplace Other than Your Bed
I'm known to ask people I know (and even people I don't know) random questions. One that I asked semi-recently is what can cause a person to get bored in the bedroom. Something that seemed to be a general consensus is "always having sex in the bed". When I asked where they'd prefer to go in order to switch things up, many said the kitchen, backyard or on the stairs.
Hey, I'm not saying that you should automatically aim for those locations. What I am saying is if the bed is always the go-to, at least try the couch or the floor. When it comes to good sex, variety is always key.
6. Incorporate a Little Honey
Back when I was sexually active, a favorite sex addition of mine was honey. I liked it for what I'm assuming are pretty obvious reasons, but apparently it was doing more for my bedroom action than I thought! There is a mineral in honey called boron that 1) raises testosterone levels in men and 2) increases men and women's libidos and can help orgasms to last longer.
So yeah, having some honey on your bed stand certainly can't hurt either.I'm sure you don't need me to tell you how to make honey work in your favor, but if you'd like an edible massage recipe that's got honey as one of its ingredients, you can find one here.
7. Play Musical Chairs (for Him)
As far as a sexual position that your man will be totally in love with, try your own sex twist to musical chairs. Maybe put on a throwback like Montell Jordan's "Let's Ride" (who remembers that?), do a quick little dance and then sit him down on a chair. Put your legs over his shoulders and, well, you get it. The visuals alone will be sure to do wonders and the deep penetration makes this a male orgasm favorite!
8. Get in the Missionary with a Pillow Underneath (for You)
The missionary position is a classic—always has been and always will be. I think for us, we like it a lot because it's comfortable, it's intimate (there's eye-to-eye contact that way), and it's a great way to enhance clitoral and G-spot stimulation. The best way to up the chances of this particular sex position giving you an orgasm is by putting some pillows underneath your butt. Your partner's access will be easier and deeper. And you know what that means.
9. Spell “Coconut”
If you ain't neva had sex with a Gemini before, you'd betta ask somebody. I am a proud card-carrying one. I've also had sex with one. There are no words (le sigh). Anyway, when all of the coconut memes went viral last month, personally, I found it to be quite fitting. Why not, during the month of June, should a new hot sex trend be on everyone's lips?
If you happened to miss it, the tip is to ride cowgirl while slowly spelling out the word "coconut" with your hips. Although the memes were jokes more than anything else, I know some folks who actually attempted it. Chile, they think that the Kenyan women who got the viral thing started in the first place were truly onto something, whether they realized it or not. And, since the cowgirl position is one of the praised positions for achieving an orgasm, why not give it a shot?
10. Set Your Sights on a Multiple Orgasm
What better day to have a multiple orgasm—or at least try to—than on National Orgasm Day? The way to achieve these is by making sure you are truly at ease with your partner, extending foreplay, doing some deep breathing (and edging) and increasing your stamina.
For more of a breakdown, "How to Have Multiple Orgasms: Tips and Techniques for Better Pleasure" is an enlightening read. But more than anything, purpose in your mind to enjoy yourself. While orgasms should be a regular occurrence, National Orgasm Day only comes around once a year. Make sure to make it totally worth you—and y'all's—while!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
10 Secrets To Feeling Super Sexy (When You Don't)
What GROWN Women Consider Great Sex To Be
Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP
My First Orgasm Changed Everything I Thought I Knew About Sex
Feature image by Getty Images
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- National Orgasm Day - Wikipedia ›
RELATED
At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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