

Even though this month consists of two of the most popular days of the entire year—Christmas and New Year's Eve—I recently discovered that December features another day of observance; one that surrounds doing one of my absolute favorite things on the planet—taking a bath. Well, in the spirit of all that is pampering and luxurious, guess what today (December 5) is? It's officially National Bathtub Party Day (#BathtubPartyDay) which is all about encouraging us to forego the five-minute shower that a lot of us take on the way to work and, instead, choosing to get very up close and personal with our tub instead. How awesome is that?
What's really special about this is the fact that, aside from the pure relaxation that comes from taking a long soak, there are lots of health benefits that you can get from spending time in your bathtub too. Bathing increases blood circulation, reduces pain and body inflammation, soothes achy joints and muscles, detoxifies your skin and even helps to balance out your hormones. Plus, if you decide to bring a guest into the tub with you, well, like they say—the more, the merrier!
So, before heading home tonight, do yourself a favor and stop by a store to pick up some of the following items; ones that will turn your bathtub party into one that you—and yours—will not soon forget.
Soy-Scented Candles
A big part of what comes with having a luxurious bath time experience is setting the right mood. Something that can help you to do that is turning off your bathroom light and lighting some candles instead. I recommend going with soy ones because they burn longer and cleaner (which means they are better for the environment).
If you're going to bathe alone, get some scented ones that will help you to relax—lavender, rose, jasmine, lemon and frankincense are all wonderful de-stressors. If your boo will be joining you, go with scents like vanilla, pumpkin, sandalwood, ylang ylang and orange are surefire ways to light your libidos right on up.
Plants and/or Flowers
Something else that's a nice addition to bathing is making the room as tropical as possible; especially during the fall and winter seasons. You can do this by bringing a couple of plants and/or flowers into your bathroom and either placing them on the toilet or—if the plants are tall enough—beside it. My recommendation would be to get two bouquets of roses. You can use one to set the atmosphere and you can pull the petals off of the other to place into your bathwater. Not only will the petals make you feel extravagant, DIY rosewater will make your skin silky soft as well.
92-Degree Bath Water
Earlier this year, I penned a piece entitled "Did You Know There's A Right & A Wrong Way To Take A Bath?". One of the things that I touched on is what the temperature of your bathwater should be. According to a lot of health experts, it's best if your water is lukewarm; based on something that I recently read, 92 degrees qualifies as being that. But if you want to make sure that your water isn't too hot or too cold, test the temperature with your wrists rather than your fingers before getting into the tub. Your skin is more sensitive on your wrists, so you'll be able to get a more accurate read by using them.
Bath Salts
As far as what you should actually put into your bath water, don't sleep on bath salts. Not only are they able to detox your system, they also can boost your immunity, soothe your muscles, balance the alkaline levels in your body, increase your energy levels and, because it's currently cold outside, bath salts are able to relieve any congestion that you might have too.
If you're wondering what kind of salts to get, it all depends on what you want to accomplish most. Epsom salt is a great detoxifier. If your body feels tired and drained, peppermint salts will revive you. Looking for salts that will treat dry skin? Go with some almond or orange ones. Or, if you want the kind of salts that will effectively treat skin conditions like psoriasis, eczema or acne, opt for some seaweed bath salts. As far as grain size, the smaller the salts, the more effective they are. Oh, and bath salt colors play a significant role as well. Cooler hues tend to offer a more soothing effect while warm colors are more prone to energize. Just make sure that you go with bath salts that are made from sea salt; they are the ones that will give your body the most benefits.
By the way, if you'd prefer to make your own, all you need is some Epsom salt, sea salt, baking soda and your favorite essential oil (or oils). You can check out a pretty simple recipe here.
Essential Oils
Something that can give you a great aromatherapy experience is if you add a few drops of essential oil (no more than 20 drops is best) into your bathwater. Although pretty much any kind will do, if you want to clear up your nasal passages, go with eucalyptus; bergamot reduces stress; chamomile will help to relax you; rosemary increases blood circulation (which automatically makes it an aphrodisiac oil); cinnamon contains antispasmodic and analgesic properties that relax muscles and even help to clear up chest colds; neroli promotes a good night's rest, and clary sage reduces symptoms that are associated with anxiety.
Bath Pillow
Something that can totally change the way that you soak and bathe is investing in a bath pillow. Not only do they help to support your neck, back and shoulders, some studies cite that they can increase your ability to relax while you're in the tub by as much as almost 85 percent. This link can provide you with some fan favorite brands. Or, if you want to run by a local Bed Bath & Beyond on your way home, look for the Luxury Spa Bath Pillow. Home Depot has a Soft Comfort Spa Seat Cushion too.
Bath Gloves and DIY Shower Gel
Personally, I'm a fan of using bath gloves in order to wash up; that's because I am able to comfortably reach all parts of my body. As a bonus, bath gloves are an easy way to exfoliate while I'm washing up. As far as what you should wash with, if you add some shea butter, glycerin and xanthan gum to the castile soap that you already have, you can lather up with a wonderful-feeling homemade shower gel (cop the full recipe here).
Red Wine
Thanks to the antioxidants, flavonoids and polyphenols that are in red wine, you'll be doing your body a real favor if you treat yourself to a glass of it while you're in the midst of enjoying your bath time. The key is to have no more than 4-5 ounces (per day) and to get the kind of wine that will be the most personally beneficial for you. If tons of antioxidants are what you're after, look for a madarin wine. If you'd prefer less sugar and calories, pinot noir has your back. Also, if you want to know what kind of red wine is healthier overall, dry is better for you than sweet.
An Ultra-Plush Towel
Something else that's super important is the kind of towel that you decide to hop out of your bathwater with. If you like super plush towels, ones that are made out of Turkish cotton and are 820-gram are probably gonna be your best bet. Or, if you'd prefer the kind that will dry your skin quickly and also won't take forever to dry on your towel rack, opt for a towel that is made out of microfiber.
If It's Gonna Be a Party for Two:
Shower First
A husband once told me that the only way that he will ever take a bath is if he takes a shower first. Personally, I don't do that when I'm alone, but if I were to share a tub with someone, that's how I would get down too; especially since taking a bath with another person isn't really about getting clean…if you know what I mean. And who wants to soak in each other's dirty and dead skin cells for thirty minutes or more? Yuck.
Besides, as far as the showering first part goes, it's not like you can't make some things go down while you're scrubbing in the shower. Shower sex was actually one of this year's biggest sex trends, so why not literally go out of 2019 with a…bang?
Less Bubbles, More Milk
If your plan is to get "dirty" before getting clean, it's probably best to lay off of the bubbles. Between all of the moving around in the water, they can prove to be a little irritating if you and yours aren't careful. Instead, swap out the bubbles for some homemade bath milk. It has a way of naturally exfoliating your skin and making it really soft as a direct result. (There's a great recipe for it here.)
Music (or ASMR)
Don't ask me how I ended up reading "Chance the Rapper Made You a Bath Time Playlist", but all things work together and it did remind me to put play some music on the list. If you're bathing alone, this is another way to get into a relaxing mood.
However, the reason why I reserved this for the "party of two" section is there's a study that says music makes sex better because it actually enhances our sense of touch.
Sounds like a good enough reason to bump some R&B if you ask me. Or, if you'd prefer to feel like you're caught up in a wind or rainstorm, YouTube has plenty of ASMR videos that you can play which I also think is pretty hot.
An Aphrodisiac Drink—or Two
When you're alone, have some wine. When someone is joining you, serve up an aphrodisiac drink like Cupid's Kiss, Ginger Mango Granita, Mango Jasmine Bubble Tea, Mexican Hot Chocolate Martini or Saratoga. All of these contain at least a couple of ingredients that officially make the aphrodisiac list and between all of the wetness and closeness, just imagine what an alcoholic libido booster can do for the two of you.
Waterproof Lube
Just one more thing. If you do plan on gettin' it in while you're bathing, it's a good idea to keep some waterproof lube by the side of the tub. Water has a way of washing off your natural wetness, so you need something that can replace it, just so the sex remains wet 'n wild rather than dry and uncomfortable. Astroglide is a popular brand that you should be able to find at Walmart. Enjoy your time in the tub. You (and yours) deserve it!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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'Leave Quicker': Keri Hilson Opens Up About Learning When To Walk Away In Love
What you might call Black love goals, Keri Hilson is kindly saying, “Nah.”
In a recent appearance on Cam Newton’s Funky Friday podcast, the We Need to Talk: Love singer opened up about a past relationship that once had the public rooting for her and former NBA star Serge Ibaka. According to Cam, the pair looked “immaculate” together. Keri agreed, admitting, “We looked good.” But her demeanor made it clear that everything that looks good isn't always a good look for you.
That was all but confirmed when Cam asked what the relationship taught her. Keri sighed deeply before replying, “Whew. Leave quicker.”
It was the kind of answer that doesn’t need to be packaged to be received, just raw truth from someone who’s done the work. “Ten months in, I should have [left],” she continued. “But I was believing. I was wanting to not believe [the signs].”
Keri revealed to Cam that despite their efforts to repair the relationship at the time, including couples counseling, individual therapy, and even sitting with Serge’s pastor, it just wasn’t meant to be. A large part of that, she said, was the seven-year age gap. “He was [in his] mid-twenties,” she said, attributing a lot of their misalignment to his youth and the temptations that came with fame, money, and status.
“There were happenings,” she shared, choosing her words carefully. “He deserved to live that… I want what you want. I don’t want anything different. So if I would’ve told him how to love me better, it would’ve denied him the experience of being ‘the man’ in the world.”
But she also made it clear that just because you understand someone’s path doesn’t mean you have to ride it out with them. Instead, you can practice compassionate detachment like our girl Keri. “You can have what you want, but you may not have me and that.”
When Cam jokingly questioned what if there was a reality where a man wanted to have both “you and a dab of that,” Keri didn’t hesitate with her stance: “No,” adding, “I can remove myself and [then you] have it. Enjoy it.” Sis said what she said.
Still, she shared that they dated for a couple of years and remain cool to this day. For Keri, being on good terms with an ex isn’t a sign of weakness; it's a reflection of where she is in her healing. In a time when blocking an ex is often seen as the ultimate sign of growth, Keri offers an alternate route: one where healing looks like resolution, not resentment. “I think because I have such a disgust for ugliness in my life. Like, I don't do well without peace between me and everyone in my life. Like, I really try to resolve issues,” she explained to Cam.
Adding, “I think that's what makes things difficult when you're like sweeping things under the rug or harboring ill feelings towards someone. When you're healed, when you've done your work, you can speak to anybody when you've healed from things. I think maybe that's the bottom line.”
Watch Keri's appearance on Funky Friday in full here.
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