It really is interesting how the Universe works. Just yesterday afternoon, I had a conversation with a friend of mine who was excited to tell me that, after several years of dating, two of his friends not only decided to get engaged, they are planning to get married before 2020 rolls around. Chile, you already know, with this way this year has been moving, that's like them saying that they're basically getting married tomorrow. Anyway, little did I know that it was probably right around that conversation that Cassie was doin' the damn thing herself by making it official with the man she just got engaged to, and we wrote about, almost a month to the day—Mr. Alex Fine.
When I woke up in the wee hours of the morning and saw the news about it, shoot, everywhere, I did what I'm sure thousands of others have at this point. I headed on over to her IG to see what she had posted. At the time that I'm writing this, since she announced her engagement, honestly, there hasn't been much. I mean, there's literally been three pictures. A dope casual one of her overlooking the ocean at sunset, a black-and-white shot of her and her beloved and, a picture that appears to be a portrait of Cassie and Alex using water as a bedsheet (that last one is what she posted yesterday). But no wedding announcement. No wedding pics (one of their friends posted the feature shot you see; that's how we know that it went down).
And to tell you the truth, that makes me like Cassie and Alex even more; they're too busy being into each other and actually living life to be out here constantly posting on the gram. Good for them. Really.
And while I could get into a media version of connect the dots (at least based on what we think that we know about Cassie's journey) or I could low-key troll to see what—eh hem—others have to say about this new season in her life, personally, I think all of that is totally unnecessary. I say that because there is a Jewish tradition called a mikveh. It's the act of immersing yourself in water to symbolize a new season in your life. Some Jews do it right before they get married. I dig the concept. To me, wedding days should be seen this way. It really doesn't matter what happened before you and the one you decide to commit your lives to have experienced. If you were paying close attention, it all prepared you for the moment when you look into each other's eyes and pledge to become one with each other. Everything prior to that is…fodder. Kinda irrelevant too. Because relevancy speaks to purpose. Your wedding day signifies a renewal and a purpose that requires leaving so much of who you were and what you did…behind.
Still, the reason why I wanted to shout Cassie and Alex out, just one-more-time-again, is because of something that Alex actually shared earlier this summer on his Instagram page. It was on June 12, to be exact:
"Letter to Cassie
"I promise you that I will do every single thing in my power to support you and help you. I promise that you will never be alone.I promise that you will be loved beyond expectation and we will show our children how to be in a healthy relationship. I promise to always come home with a great attitude and give our children and you undivided attention. I promise to always keep you and the child first nothing comes before you.
"I promise you will be showered in kisses and hugs every single day. I promise that I will be the best father/baby daddy. You two are my greatest loves I have and will ever have. I cannot wait for the rest of our lives together and to raise a beautiful happy child in our beautiful happy life."
Yes Alex. Beautiful Alex. We totally support you on this, Alex.
If you've ever read any article that I've written on celebrity news, I try my best to use them as teachable moments; to find ways to apply whatever I'm covering to our own lives. On the day following Cassie's wedding day, here are three takeaways that I hope we keep in mind in the midst of our own love journeys.
A man of his word is a man you can trust. A man you can trust is a man you can respect. A man you can respect is a man you can love—and shouldn’t be afraid to commit to.
I try my best to put the disclaimer in that we don't know what famous people have going on behind closed doors. All we know is what they tell us and what others have to think about it. But I will say that when I looked at Cassie, all beautiful in her wedding dress (I really dig the veil, Mrs. Fine), the part where Alex said, "I promise that you will never be alone" in his summer post did indeed come to mind. He just asked her to marry him on August 27, y'all. They got married on September 25. He didn't just say, "I mean, let's see how this thing goes" or "Let's just enjoy being engaged for a while". Alex solidified his promise with a lifelong commitment. At the same time, Cassie didn't hesitate to oblige. It's easy to just…move forward when trust, respect and love—all three, not just one—are in place.
If you're currently seeing someone and you desire to be married, please make sure that this winning combo is a part of your own relationship. That you can trust him and he can trust you. That you can respect him and he can respect you. That you love him and he loves you—and that there are actions to back up those three important words.
This brings me to my next point.
When men know, they know. And they move based on what they know.
I'm a marriage life coach, so I talk to married couples a lot. Of the healthy and happy ones that I've talked to, something that the husbands have always told me is they knew; they knew their wife was the one. And because they knew, they didn't want to drag their feet. They didn't need her to give them ultimatums. They weren't interested in long and drawn out engagements either.
Although I think a lot of people sleep on the benefits of eloping or having a small wedding, I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with a having a big ceremony or taking the time that's needed to plan (and pay) for one. What I am saying is most marriage counselors, therapists and coaches will tell you that if you're engaged for longer than two years, that's something to really think long and hard about. An engagement should speak to the intention of getting married; not eventually but sooner than later. And if two people truly want to marry one another, why wait?
It's just my personal take on things, but whenever a single man, who's in a relationship, tells me that he's thinking about proposing, the two things that I say is, "Make sure you can pay for your ring upfront" (you'd be amazed how many wives are still paying on their own engagement ring because their husband financed it, fell on hard times and how she's having to pay it off) and "If you're not ready to say 'I do' within the year…wait."
We know that Alex was "'bout it" because it took—and by "took" what I really mean is wasted—no time. Cassie being his fiancée wasn't enough for him. He was on a mission to make her his wife.
Let God write your love story.
Oh, please believe that I get asked often if I ever get weary from being a never-been-married-before single woman and dealing with marriage so much. Not really because 1) being a marriage life coach has shown me a side of marriage that a lot of singles don't get to see; it has made me look at it from a much more realistic perspective and 2) I don't want someone else's love story; I want my own. How ever many chapters it needs to have, so be it.
You know, a quote that I really like is, "Your love story is different from those you watch in movies. Movies were written by screenwriters. Yours was written by God." If you're currently single and reading this, while you might be tempted to secretly envy Cassie, I'm going to encourage you not to do that. Be happy for her love story. Also, stay positive and excited about your own. Literally, this time last year, Cassie's life was very, very different. Your story is still being written. Simply relax and play your part (try not to do your own "editing" either. He knows best).
As for Mr. and Mrs. Fine, I couldn't be happier. Promises keep being made. Promises keep being fulfilled. Just how love should be. From the entire xoTribe, congrats and blessings upon blessings to you both. Keep enjoying the chapters of your own very special love story.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Sooo...Do You Want A Marriage? Or Just A Wedding?
Why Every Engaged Couple Needs A 'Marriage Registry'
You REALLY Want To Get Married. Why Is That?
Before You Marry Him, Check Out His Relationships With Other Folks
Feature image by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images for Mark's Club
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
The Kamala Effect: Top Black Women In Politics To Watch Now, Into 2025
With a landmark Election Day coming up soon, everyone will be watching to see whether Vice President Kamala Harris makes history by becoming the first Black woman to become president of the United States. And as she has gathered monumental support from Black women around the world (including the more than 44,000 who raised millions in minutes shortly after she announced she’d be running), other Black women politicians also stand to make history in their respective elections, running to serve local and statewide communities.
Just as there have been barriers to Black women serving as CEOs of Fortune 500 companies (with only four having been appointed to those roles), there’s a massive glass ceiling for Black women in politics as well. Only 0.4% of all members of Congress identified as Black, and only 13.4% of all women who have served in Congress to date have identified as Black, according to research.
To date, no Black woman has served as governor of a state (though there has been a Black woman lieutenant governor, which we’ll get to later.)
Glass Ceiling In Politics For Black Women
Black women face the ever-so-usual gender bias and racism when running for office, but they also have to deal with another major deterrent to launching a viable campaign: funding. According to the Washington Post, while campaign fundraising “overall” saw a boost for women in 2020 compared with 2018, “Black women across party lines raised significantly less money than White women.”
The publication further reported that in 2020, data reflected “that the 113 active Black women candidates running on all tickets raised nearly $81 million in the first three quarters compared to the nearly $811 million pulled in by their 379 active White women counterparts across party lines, according to data provided by the Center for Responsive Politics. More than $1.5 billion was raised by over 1,000 White men from all parties in the same timeframe.”
Paying staff, covering marketing and ads, travel expenses, and more are all vital and very costly, expanding one’s reach, impact, and exposure to land the votes. This is one major reason that, when Black women finally make it to the finish line with enough support to get a serious spot on the ballot, it’s more than a big deal.
So, here are a few Black women in politics who have made history, continue to push barriers, and powerhouses to watch as we near Election Day on November 5:
Angela Alsobrooks
Andrew Harnik/Getty Images
A Maryland native, Angela Alsobrooks graduated from Duke University and the University of Maryland School of Law. She worked as a law clerk in the Howard County Circuit Court and the Baltimore City Circuit Court before taking on the role of Assistant State’s Attorney in Prince George’s County, a role in which she made history as the youngest and first woman in the role. She’s now running for the state senator seat in Maryland, which, if she wins, would make her the fourth Black woman in history to serve in the Senate.
Winsome Earle-Sears
Winsome Earle-Sears is a native of Kingston, Jamaica, who served in the United States Marine Corps. Before becoming the first woman to be elected lieutenant governor of Virginia and the first Black woman elected to statewide office, she served as the vice president of the Virginia State Board of Education and a presidential appointee to the U.S. Census Bureau, co-chair of the African American Committee and the Advisory Committee on Women Veterans to the Secretary of Veterans Affairs. She earned a bachelor’s degree in economics from Old Dominion University and a master’s degree in organizational leadership with a concentration in government from Regent University.
She has filed to run for governor of the state in 2025 and, if successful, would become the first and only woman (as well as Black woman) in the U.S. and its territories.
Lisa Blunt Rochester
Lisa Blunt Rochester represents Delaware in the U.S. House of Representatives and serves as an Assistant Whip for House Leadership. She also serves on the House Committee on Energy and Commerce. Raised in Wilmington, Delaware, she graduated from Fairleigh Dickinson University with a degree in international relations and later earned a master’s degree in urban affairs and public policy from the University of Delaware.
She’s also running for the state senate seat in Delaware and would make history if elected. If she and Albrook are both successful, that will be a first as well, as it would be the first time two Black women are serving in the U.S. Senate at the same time.
Carol Moseley Braun
A native of Chicago (who now lives in the Hyde Park neighborhood the Obamas also call home), Carol Moseley Braun became the first woman senator from Illinois and the first Black woman to serve in the Senate when she won in 1992 (and was the only Black woman to serve in the six years she held her seat.) She later served as U.S. ambassador to New Zealand, a visiting professor at Northwestern University, launched a food company, and now serves as chairman of the United States African Development Foundation. She graduated from the University of Illinois at Chicago and the University of Chicago Law School.
Lauren Underwood
Samuel Corum/Getty Images
Born in Ohio but raised in Illinois, Lauren Underwood was sworn into Congress in 2019, becoming the first woman, the first person of color, and the youngest (as a millennial!) elected to represent the state. A registered nurse by trade, she’s the co-founder and co-chair of the Black Maternal Health Caucus and the co-chair of the House Democratic Policy and Communications Committee. She also serves on the House Committee on Appropriations. Before that, she served as a senior adviser at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). She is a graduate of the University of Michigan and Johns Hopkins University.
Ayanna Pressley
Representing Massachusetts, Ayanna Pressley was the first Black woman to be elected to Congress from the state. Before that, she served as a member of the Boston City Council, becoming the first woman of color to serve in that capacity. In that role, she formed the Committee on Healthy Women, Families, and Communities, addressing issues including domestic violence and human trafficking. She empowered many, going viral and making headlines in 2020 when she revealed she has alopecia and unapologetically took off her wig to rock a bald head, shifting the narrative on Black women, code-switching, and appearance in political arenas and beyond.
Jennifer McClellan
Jennifer McClellan was sworn into the U.S. House last year, becoming the first Black woman to represent Virginia in Congress. A Virginia native, she earned a bachelor’s degree from the University of Richmond and her Juris Doctorate from the University of Virginia School of Law. She was previously elected to the Virginia House of Delegates in 2005 and served in that post until she was elected to the Virginia State Senate in 2017.
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Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images