I already know. Some of y’all read the title of this piece and already decided that you’re gonna just go ahead and skip it. Yet, hear me out — if you’ve made it even this far, I’m gonna ask that you don’t. While on the surface, carrier oils may seem like a bit of a ho-hum topic, I’m confident that by the end of this, you’ll see them in a completely different light.
Why? Because although the basic definition of carrier oils is they are oils that are derived from plants that are used to dilute essential oils so that your skin is better able to absorb them (yawn), this actually means that they can do a helluva lot for you — including in the bedroom department.
Behold, the sexual benefits of 12 different carrier oils. Ready?
1. Coconut Oil for Lube
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Coconut oil is made up of mostly fatty acids. This is great to know because they help to hydrate your skin, serve as a skin barrier (to protect it from environmental elements), and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
What makes it bomb when it comes to sexual activity is it can serve as a great all-natural lubricant (so long as you don’t use latex condoms; oil can break down their effectiveness); especially if you’re experiencing vaginal dryness or you tend to experience more friction during intercourse and you’re looking for an oil that can provide some much-needed relief.
2. Carrot Seed Oil for Better Sperm Count & Quality
If you like earthy and woodsy scents, you might like carrot seed oil. A cool thing about this oil is it contains antibacterial, antifungal, anti-inflammatory, and antioxidant properties which makes it awesome at fighting and even helping to prevent fungal and bacterial growth. It’s also a great skin exfoliant if you’re looking for a gentle way to remove dead skin cells and even out your skin tone.
Since carrot seed oil is also rich in antioxidants, beta-carotene, and vitamin E, men can benefit from this oil because it helps prevent sperm damage and even increases a man’s sperm count over time. Since it can also help to reduce stress, applying it and/or diffusing it can actually increase your chances of having an orgasm — or more intense ones.
3. Neem Oil for Spermicide
Another name for neem oil is margosa oil. Interestingly enough, it’s most popular for being a natural kind of pesticide although the fatty acids, vitamin E, and calcium in it make it good for the skin too. In fact, if you’re looking for an oil that will naturally help boost collagen production in your skin, look no further.
So, what makes neem oil great when it comes to what we’re talking about today? Some science-based reports from homeopaths say that it’s quite effective when acting as an all-natural spermicidal agent. Yep — you can put some of it into your va-jay-jay and it will help to prevent pregnancy.
Now, you should probably do some additional digging on your own when it comes to this one and definitely discuss it with your physician. But the ever-evolving data is pretty solid if you’re someone who’s not yet ready for a baby, but you don’t want to put any birth control that’s full of hormones into your system either.
4. Sweet Almond Oil for Lube & Yeast Infections
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Hands down, two of my favorite oils for my face are rosemary oil and sweet almond oil. I’m so into both of them that it’s rare that I won’t turn in without washing my face with some sulfur soap (it’s great for acne and keeping my complexion even) and then applying a thin layer of one of these oils afterward.
As far as sweet almond oil goes, specifically, the fatty acids in it help your skin to retain moisture, the vitamin E helps to protect your skin from UV damage and the vitamin A is awesome at fighting acne.
Sweet almond oil can benefit your sex life because it’s also a solid lubricant for unprotected sex and it contains properties that can help to fight a yeast infection if you’re someone who is prone to it due to condoms or experiencing a new partner.
5. Jojoba Oil for Lube
There are fatty acids galore in jojoba oil. If you add to that the fact that it’s a good source of vitamins B-complex and E along with anti-inflammatory properties, you definitely need this in your arsenal if you want to get or keep clear skin or you’re looking for an all-natural way to soothe the symptoms that are associated with eczema or psoriasis.
Sexually, if you want to use something with no chemicals in it that will make anal action easier, this oil tops the list. The slip is pretty amazing and it’s fairly long-lasting. Just remember that again, as with all oils, latex condoms aren’t a reliable complement. On the other hand, polyurethane and nitrile condoms typically are.
6. Vitamin E Oil for Stronger Erections & Libidos
If there was any oil on this list that you probably knew was a lifesaver when it comes to skincare, this was probably the one. It helps your skin to retain moisture. It protects your skin from cellular damage. It speeds up the healing of scars. It reduces skin itchiness. It makes eczema and psoriasis easier to deal with. The list goes on and on.
And why is it so bomb as far as sex is concerned? For men, it helps to increase blood flow to their penis so that their erections are stronger (although it must be consumed in moderation; some studies say that super high doses over a long period of time can increase a man’s risk of being diagnosed with prostate cancer). For men and women, it’s also a powerful antioxidant that helps to boost the libido.
7. Hemp Seed Oil for Reduced Stress & Enhanced Sexual Pleasure
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When you press hemp seeds, (seeds that come from the cannabis plant) what you’re going to get is hemp seed oil. An important thing that it contains is Gamma-linoleic acid (GLA); it’s great at reducing inflammation. That component is so effective that it’s not uncommon for professional skincare experts to recommend this particular oil for acne, psoriasis, eczema, and atopic dermatitis.
And honestly, if you don’t invest in any other carrier oil for sexual purposes, you can’t go wrong with making this your choice. It reduces stress. It puts you in a better mood. It can even help to enhance the pleasure of physical touch. By the way, when it comes to increasing vaginal sensations, a hemp oil worth checking out is Awaken Arousal Oil with CBD. It ain’t cheap yet word on the street is that it’s pretty damn effective.
8. Rosehip Seed Oil for Tighter Vulvar Skin
Rosehips literally come from the fruit of the rosebush. They are filled with vitamins A, C, and F as well as antioxidants and fatty acids. One of the reasons why we as Black women should take special note of it is it contains properties that help to get rid of hyperpigmentation. It can also help to firm up the skin which makes it an ideal oil for sagging skin after childbirth and/or breastfeeding.
You know what this means, right? Rosehip seed oil can also help to tighten up your vulvar skin if you sense that it is aging too. Plus, the lycopene and beta-carotene that it contains will lighten up your vulvar skin (if you wish) and its potent anti-inflammatory properties can help to soothe your vagina if you and yours really got it in one night.
9. Grapeseed Oil for DIY Massage Oil
Grapeseed oil is literally what it sounds like. It’s an oil that is derived from pressed grapes and is high in vitamin E and antioxidants. I personally use it for my hair because it’s a light oil that seals my ends and soothes my scalp. However, it’s also great when it comes to increasing skin elasticity, protecting skin from sun damage and even helping to heal acne and acne marks (in part because it works to even out your skin tone).
Because it is so good for the skin, use it as a base for a sexy DIY massage oil (it’s totally tasteless if you want to use it as an ingredient for an edible oil, by the way). Although, it should go on record that because it dries rather quickly, you might not want to rely on it as a vaginal lubricant…unless you want to keep applying it.
10. Wheat Germ Oil for PMS Relief
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Another kind of oil that’s packed with vitamin E is wheat germ oil. Not only does it encourage skin cell formation, but it also softens the appearance of scars and stretch marks and deeply hydrates your skin as it promotes greater flexibility which can help to keep you looking younger longer.
The vitamins B6 and E along with zinc and magnesium all play a role in helping to lessen the symptoms that are associated with PMS (premenstrual syndrome) as well as balancing out sex-based hormones. Since period sex is something that can actually help to bring relief to PMS and period-related symptoms, adding wheat germ oil to your diet could prove to be beneficial in a myriad of ways.
11. Evening Primrose Oil for Balanced Progesterone & Estrogen Levels
I’m a huge fan of evening primrose oil for a ton of reasons. One is because it’s great at keeping my skin clear and preventing those damn period pimples that I can’t seem to avoid. It’s able to do this because the properties in the oil help to improve your skin’s elasticity and texture while also making it feel more supple. This particular oil also has anti-inflammatory benefits which are what make it an all-natural way to treat acne.
As far as your sex life goes, evening primrose oil not only helps to balance out your progesterone and estrogen levels (the more balanced they are, the easier it is for you to enjoy sex), but it helps to increase your dopamine (which helps you to feel good) while also expanding your blood vessels; the more blood that flows, the easier it is to orgasm.
12. Pomegranate Seed Oil for Longer Erections & PCOS Relief
Whenever Rosh Hashanah (the new year that I personally observe) rolls around, something that I make sure to do is cop a few pomegranates (because that’s when they’re in season, plus, they are a symbolic fruit for that time of the year). Not only do they symbolize things like righteousness, fertility, beauty, power, and eternal life, but they also are loaded with antioxidants, antimicrobial properties, and other nutrients.
Skin-wise, pomegranate seed oil offers big boosts of collagen and elasticity while also unclogging pores and reversing the signs of skin damage.
Sex-wise, it rounds out the list of must-have carrier oils because it helps to give men a testosterone boost and longer erections as it helps both men and women to get — and stay — in better moods. As a serious bonus, there are several studies linked to its ability to bring relief to PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome).
See…I told y’all that carrier oils were their own lil’ aphrodisiacs. So, the next time you’re at the grocery store or a health food store (even better), treat yourself, your partner, and your sex life to a few bottles — and watch your sex life improve and intensify in ways you never imagined!
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
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Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Fortunately, five simple words have simplified my dating process and ushered in clarity faster: “Would my husband do this?”
A couple of years ago, I met an entertainment lawyer who was tonguing down a twenty-something-year-old woman for breakfast while I slurped my green smoothie and chomped on a flatbread sandwich. Okay, Black love, I grinned and thought as I sauntered out of the Joe & The Juice. As soon as I stepped down from the front door, a torrential downpour of Miami summer rain cascaded and throttled me back inside to wait out the storm.
I grabbed a hot green tea and vacillated between peering out the wet door and anxiously checking my watch. My lengthy agenda started with attending the Tabitha Brown and Chance Brown’s “Black Love” panel, and I was already late. That’s when the lawyer introduced himself to me, after he made a joke about neither one of us wanting to get soaked by the rain. His female companion had braved the storm, leaving us to find our commonalities.
We both lived in L.A. and had traveled to the American Black Film Festival to expand our network. He represented various artists, including entertainment writers, while I was working as a writer/creative producer in Hollywood.
While there is no shortage of internet advice on how to strategically meet a prominent man at conferences, if I spend my hard-earned funds on career growth, I have tunnel vision, and that doesn’t include finding Mr. Right. So, I stowed his contact details away as strictly professional.
Keep It Cute Love And Hip Hop GIFGiphyAs the humidity and mosquitoes were rising around L.A., two months later, another suitor-turned-terrible match cooled off after three unimpressive dates and a bevy of red flags. I posted what some of my friends called a thirst trap, but it was really me wearing a black freakum jumpsuit with a plunging neckline to my friend’s 35th birthday soiree despite feeling oh, so unsexy and bloated on my cycle.
I’d been waiting to post a sassy caption and finally had the perfect picture to match: “You not asking for too much, you just asking the wrong MF.”
That’s when the entertainment lawyer swooped into my DMs and asked me to dinner. I was quite confused. Is he asking me on a date? Or is this professional? Common sense would’ve picked the former. Once it clicked that this would in fact be a date, I told my mentor, who’s been happily married for over twenty years and has often been a guiding light and has steered me away from the wrong men.
Upon telling him about how we met, he emphatically stated, “He ain’t it.” He followed up with a simple question, "You have to ask yourself: Would my husband do this? Would you tell others that you met your husband, tonguing down another woman, and later married him?"
Aint It No Way GIF by UFCGiphyOuch. The thought-provoking question cleared any haze. Prior to going out with the lawyer, the first thing I inquired about was the woman.
“You saw that?” He said, taken aback that I’d witnessed his steamy PDA. Surely, anyone with two open eyes peeped him caressing her backside as he kissed her in the middle of the coffee shop.
He brushed her off as a casual someone he’d gone on a couple of dates with but had since stopped talking to. He said he hadn’t been in a serious relationship in over three years. Though I was still doubtful, dating in L.A. is treacherous and ephemeral. Making it past three months is considered a rarity.
With my antennae alert, I dined with him at a cozy beachside steakhouse restaurant where we were serenaded by a live jazz band. I’d emphasized forming a platonic friendship first.
Break Up Friendship GIF by TLCGiphy“I’ll come to you,” he obliged. I liked that he had made me a priority by driving over 50 miles to see me. I also liked the effort he made to check in with me daily. But I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he initiated on a professional pretense and then alley hooped through the back door on a romantic venture, which bombarded me with confusion.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my dating life, God is not the author of confusion; any man who brings confusion, rather than clarity, is simply not The One. It doesn’t matter how many boxes he checks–eventually, that confusion will manifest itself into bigger problems, in time.
After diving into deeper conversations on the phone, post our first dinner date, I quickly realized this man was indeed not The One for me. But I’m grateful for the valuable lesson I learned.
I don’t expect some unattainable fairytale of a husband; we all have our own flaws and conflict is inevitable, but after dating for two decades, through failure and success, I’ve realized that the person I ultimately marry must mirror the values I exert into the world. He must reciprocate kindness, patience, and respect. He must be quick to listen and slow to respond. He needs to be forgiving and trustworthy, practice healthy communication, and be a man of his word at the bare minimum.
If I’d had “Would my husband do this?” in my toolbox when I was dating and floundering in stagnant relationships, in my twenties, it would’ve saved me a lot of precious time. But now that I’m equipped with the reminder, it’s allowed me to ground myself in my non-negotiables and set/maintain the standard for the special person, I’ll one day say, “I do,” to.
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