On Friday, June 24th, Solange Knowles was given the gift of her 30th birthday and in return she gave the world a gift with an Instagram post that was encouraging and definitely took me out of the rut that I have been in. Lately for me, life has been a confusing and sometimes overwhelming roller coaster that has taken me on many highs and some unexpected lows. Last Friday when I was at the point where I wanted to say eff it to certain goals because the work seemed harder than I envisioned, and because I didn’t have enough money, Solange’s post literallycame at the right time.
The Saint Records CEO used her influence on Instagram to educate her followers on her journey of life from a little girl to a woman. And boy, has she had a hell of a life!
Here's the timeline of the past 30 years that she shared:
Born: June 24th
Age 3-5: Wore tap shoes and tutus everywhere
Age 9: Wrote first song (A jingle for the United Way)
Age 10: Felt God
Age 13: Met first love (in a parking lot)
Age 15: Wrote/Released my first album for weird teenagers
Age 16: Started writing songs for other awesome people
Age 17: Lost my best friend Marsai to gun violence
Age 18: Pregnant
Married first love
Gave birth to angel baby
Age 19: Divorced
Age 20-22: Wiled the hell out
Age 22: Fell head over heels in love again
Age 24: Experienced Insane panic attacks and agoraphobia and convinced I would die by 30
Age 26: Wrote and released third album
Age 27: Started (Saint Records) record label and cultural hub (St. Heron)
Released first album on label
Freed myself of "friends" on the journey to womanhood
Started writing most proud of body of work
The World called me crazy
Age 28: I Married my best friend
Age 29: Completed 4th album (72 hours before turning 30)
Age 30: Just really getting started
Solo also used the post as a reminder of how crucial it is for us to take charge of our own lives, live out our destiny, and to believe in the beauty of our dreams.
As she so graciously put it, “Don't eveeer let anyone write your story for you."
[Tweet "Don't eveeer let anyone write your story for you. - Solange"]
Here is what we can all learn from Solange’s post as it relates to our career, personal life, and love status.
On work..
Solange started her musical career in her early teens. Years later at the age of 26, she started her own record label, and at 27, she released her first album off of her own label. Talk about being a BOSS!
This definitely proves that sometimes it may take a while to accomplish certain dreams that you may have. Although the goal that you have in mind may be destined for you, it may not be destined for you at the moment or when you want it to happen.
It’s all about timing.
Although Solange didn’t have her own record label until the age of 26, she definitely experienced success before then. Solange worked hard in the music industry and learned from some of the best (hey sister Bey!!), and when the time was right, she became her own boss, creating her ownopportunities. If you have your own goals that seem impossible, just be patient, hustle hard, and remember to not give up when things don't happen when you want. When the timing is right, you will reap the benefits.
[Tweet "Be patient. Remember, it's all about timing."]
On life..
I recently heard someone say that you learn who you are while in college and that is the furthest thing from the truth that I’ve heard in a while. I think in college you do learn a few things about yourself, but it isn’t until you take a ride in the “real world” with real problems, jobs, and bills that you learn who you reallyare.
During this journey of finding one’s self, it will be hard. You will make mistakes, find new friends, and lose quite a few. In Solange's Instagram post she mentioned, “[I] freed myself of "friends" on the journey to womanhood.” Sometimes in our own journey, we have to free ourselves from more than just friends. We have to also let go of toxic careers, bad habits, and unfavorable choices that somehow find a way to keep us from progressing in life.
Freeing yourself from people, jobs, and habits can be difficult at times. Often people don’t like to do anything out of their comfort zone because of their fear of the unknown. Nonetheless, in order for us to evolve and be at a place where we can receive what’s meant for us, sometimes we have to let go.
On love..
Everybody is either getting married or having babies and meanwhile I’m just trying to figure out how I can get my glow up from my side gigs and watch new episodes of House of Lies in my free time.
Despite my freelance writing and TV watching goals, I can’t lie and say that I don’t want to ever get married or bring life into this world. However, when the timing is right, those things will happen for me. Solange is proof. She dated other men before and has even been divorced. Now she is married again, but this time to her best friend and the true love her life.
Before you rush into getting into a relationship so that you can be the next person to flaunt your engagement on the gram’:
Find yourselfLearn how to love yourself
And don’t start something until you know you are ready.
Even if you think you are ready for love and it doesn’t work out - oh well. You live, and you learn, and there will always be a valuable lesson from every relationship.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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