

When we embark on our healing journey, we can experience a plethora of shifts and personal milestones that affirm our forward progression. But as we face our trauma and reach a deeper level of self-awareness, there comes a point in our journey where our momentum seems to be halted by a brick wall that we can’t seem to maneuver.
We feel stuck in a loop, lessons keep repeating, and elements from our past show up as roadblocks that hinder us from moving forward. Whether it’s a lack of confidence, self-sabotage, crippling anxiety, or an unhealthy addiction, overcoming these blockages may take more than traditional therapy to resolve. Fortunately, there’s an alternative approach to consider that can put your healing and personal growth on an accelerated path — that’s truly mind over matter.
"Hypnotherapy is a form of therapy that works on the subconscious mind,” Keylee Miracle, Master Hypnotherapist and creator of The Neurointuitive Method™, tells xoNecole. “Through inducing deep relaxation, we activate the parasympathetic nervous system to access beliefs, decisions, and feelings below our conscious awareness.”
Keylee's signature process, The Neurointuitive Method™, takes a loving and strategic approach to growth that's rooted in neuropsychology, hypnosis, and intuitive practices. She applies her expert knowledge of the psyche to translate into a human mindmap tailored to fit her client's best learning style (visual, auditory, read/write, and kinesthetic). "Hypnotherapy is highly effective and can be employed in cases of treatment resistance in traditional behavioral (talk) therapy," she says. "It is my favorite therapeutic method for overthinkers because it's inherently somatic."
While traditional talk therapy is beneficial in providing individuals with the space to express their feelings and emotions to spark self-reflection, hypnotherapy differs in its ability to induce positive changes in behavior and thought patterns through subconscious exploration. "With prolonged talk therapy, a person can mistake conscious understanding with progress," Keylee explains. "Talk therapy is very helpful for clarification and conscious reordering of thoughts; however, something may feel like it's missing on a deeper level. Hypnotherapy can help someone find that 'something.'"
If you've ever seen reenactments of hypnosis on television or in movies, you may be surprised to learn how similar a hypnotherapy session is to its on-screen portrayals. Many refer to the experience as being a deep, trance-like sensation of relaxation with an unexplainable return to your body. "I really don't want to refer to Get Out, but I really felt myself sinking into it…" recalls YouTuber Trinity Faith during an episode of her Without Guidance podcast. "I was pressing against the couch. Not falling back into it, but settling deep into it, and it did feel pretty nice."
Results from hypnotherapy can be felt in just one session, with the relief being almost immediate. While the number of sessions necessary is dependent upon the client's needs, Keylee notes that it usually takes a minimum of six weeks to cement new neural connections. "You can come to resolve a particular issue or overhaul your subconscious entirely," she says.
While some may come into the hypnotherapy experience spectacle of its effectiveness, it is important to note that a person's suspension of disbelief and suggestiveness can affect their ability to be hypnotized. "People often worry that hypnotherapy will not work on them or that they will be under someone else's control. Everyone has a parasympathetic nervous system, so if someone is open to the experience, it will work," Keylee assures.
She shares that hypnotherapists or hypnotists can be looked to as "tour guides" that help us explore the depths of our subconscious and uncover the truths we need to see. Because of their familiarity with the human psyche, they're able to identify common obstacles and help us to navigate them. "You may consciously have an idea of where your obstacles lie, but the roots may be obscured," she says. "As a hypnotherapist, I am there to guide you through those dark spots while you remain in control of your experience." Thus, remaining open is key to having an optimal experience.
One of the most common hurdles that her clients face is stagnation. When we feel stagnate, there can be a disconnect between us, our purpose, and our output to contribute to the world around us. However, Keylee's "neurointuitive" approach to hypnotherapy helps to rewire her client's brains to not deny their reality but help shift it in a productive direction.
"Reality is all about perception, and our perception is colored by our beliefs, decisions, and feelings. Our perception forms in response to our experiences; we develop our own strategies to move through the world. Hypnotherapy can be really useful for intentionally adjusting our perception, which translates into shifting our lives."
With the depths of trauma that we've experienced on a personal and intergenerational level, hypnotherapy can serve as a useful tool to uncover the underlying factors behind our traumas and point us toward their roots.
Because we've all formed coping mechanisms to protect ourselves and manage painful or difficult emotions, hypnotherapy helps by bypassing the conscious mind to remove resistance to healing. "We can also access different points in time which is helpful in resolving intergenerational trauma," she says. "This is hugely impactful for those who find themselves running into repeated obstacles of the same nature. Sometimes things begin before us."
While hypnotherapy may be deemed a non-traditional approach to healing, setting aside one's uncertainties aside to explore alternative methods to personal growth can prove to be beneficial in the long run especially if you want to see who you could become if self-sabotage and the effects of our traumas were finally confronted head-on.
"It's really important to change the beliefs we hold about ourselves and deal with the aftermath of traumatic experiences. If there's even a slight conflict in our self-perception, we can act in ways that are incongruent," Keylee says.
"This incongruence often comes out as self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is an ineffective strategy employed for safety. Hypnotherapy can help someone who has experienced trauma examine their experience from a place of true safety to resolve inner conflict."
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Featured image by SDI Productions/Getty Images
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak