When I found out that I was pregnant, I was elated to get started with digging my teeth into the birthing process. My husband and I were set on doing a home birth, so my focus had been completely devoted to creating a space (mentally and physically) that would be conducive to bringing our baby into the world.
I was learning my body, all over again. As each week passed, there were subtle and obvious nuances (changes) that were occurring. I ate very well and healthy (to my standards LOL). I was doing pool workouts about three times a week. I walked a lot. I thought that I had set myself up for success, not realizing that I had spent most of my pregnancy focused on the here, the now, and the birthing process.
It wasn't that I was oblivious to the postpartum period of pregnancy, but it just didn't strike me as a necessity to place my focus there. Yes, I had listened to podcasts. Yes, I watched videos and read a plethora of books and articles. But, I was also traveling with my husband throughout my pregnancy. We had been to five countries and the priority had been solely on where we would have the baby and safety. Little did I know, I was in for a rude awakening!
Upon having our son, I had moments of being completely outside myself. To some degree, I thought I was losing my mind. That is, until I asked other mothers and realized that I wasn't the only one. Although not every woman will feel the same or can relate, I know these experiences need to be shared.
Here are four things that I learned in postpartum:
Your pelvic floor muscles say, "Bye, Bye!”
I had a vaginal birth and had not prepared AT ALL for this part. One night, I was in the bed attempting to contract my kegels and couldn't. I panicked! So, I tried my butt muscles. Not the squeeze-and-clench cheek muscles, but the poop muscles. (Okay, so I'm not well-versed in the scientific names, but you get it.) Anyway, those muscles wouldn't move either. I remember being told that the first poop was important in the postpartum period and that women are often forced to do so before leaving the hospital. Well, thank God I didn't have to deal with that since I had the baby in my living room. But, I had become shaken at just the idea. My pelvic floor was in a state of paralysis and I was losing it!
I cried… A LOT! I thought somehow my body was failing after all the work I had put it through. I recall the time that I did have my first poop, I couldn't control it. You ever been at a friend's or at work and needed to poop, but could hear someone near the stall/bathroom? What did you do? Well, typically we all would try to make it as silent as possible because when you got to go, sometimes you just got to go!
Guess what? That control was GONE!
It was so gone, I thought I'd have to find Monica to get it back! I had gotten to the point that if I felt the need to pee or poop, I'd have to run to the bathroom to ensure that I didn't do it on myself. Not only this but every time I had to poop, it reminded me of the pain of childbirth. It was at that point that I spoke to a bunch of other moms and professionals, that I knew. I needed to know that what I was experiencing was "normal," but, more importantly, that it would go away! I hadn't realized that pushing my son out would cause me to feel less empowered as a woman postpartum. I felt so odd and every time I’d try to move the muscles, I just began to get even more discouraged.
This brought me to the next thing I learned postpartum.
Postpartum blues are REAL!
I had watched and listened to so many videos and podcasts about Postpartum Depression (PPD) and “Baby Blues,” but had somehow acquired an ignorance that it could happen to me. At the early stage of my pregnancy, I watched Melanie Fiona discuss her postpartum blues. Also, about a year before I got pregnant, one of my best friends told me about her bout with PPD. I remember thinking how horrible she must have felt wanting to love her son, but just not feeling adequate enough to. I can say I don’t believe I had full-out PPD, but more so what is referred to as “Baby Blues.” These are mood swings often related to hormonal changes that occur after giving birth. I've read many things that state somewhere between 70-80% of mothers get the blues.
The night I couldn’t feel my pelvic floor muscles, something happened to my thought pattern and my mind. I quickly looked at my son and burst into tears. I went from being an empowered warrior mom having my baby at home with just my husband and I, to trying to come to grips with a fear that my body was failing and internalizing this as me being an overall failure. My son was half a minute in the world and every time I attempted to look at him, I thought of every cruelty he’d endure. Every hurt. Every disappointment. And I thought to myself, What did I do?
It may sound silly, but I equated my inability to control my pelvic floor with also being unequipped to be a good mother. When I would feed my son, it would hurt to look at him. I was hurt to feel like he could have had a better choice of parent, but he was stuck with me.
It was also during this time that I learned my next lesson.
Exclusively breastfeeding sounds nice…
…Until you want to eat, sleep, pee, take a walk, or do anything really.
A part of my PPD was due to the fact that I’m a mover and shaker, but could not do much postpartum. I have never liked being restricted to the confines of four walls and I, was now, in a position of having to be so still. My husband and I had our son outside of the United States, due to his career, so we were hands-on 24/7 without much assistance. No family. I have always wanted to breastfeed. I always enjoyed the thought of having that connection with my child(ren). I didn’t factor in the difficulty of trying to eat a hot meal. I would sit and give my husband the illest mug, as he could enjoy his meals, but I could not.
In addition to that, I was restless. I coined the title of being a “Zombie Mom.” People often say, “Sleep when the baby sleeps” but that is easier said than done. When he slept, that was my “Finally, I can pee,” “Finally, I can eat,” or “Finally, I can breathe” moments. I would hold my pee so long that sometimes I’d have to just take my son off the boob, hand him to his father, and run in hopes that my failing pelvic floor wouldn’t cause me to wet the bed. Sometimes, I’d have to make a choice, Should I force myself to sleep or go to the bathroom?
I never felt like there was much room to do both. I even tried to pump and put my son on the bottle so that I could get a break and his dad could take over. But, no. THIS. KID. ONLY. WANTED. THE. BOOB. And as people would suggest to keep trying with the bottle and the pumping, I was just too damn tired to do anything!
And in the midst of it all, I came to learn my final lesson in the postpartum period.
Do not stop taking your vitamins.
I always knew that vitamins were an essential part of the birthing process. I preferred to take the Rainbow Light brand of prenatal vitamins, although I would feel nauseated and attributed my bouts of nausea to some of the vitamins’ ingredients. My prenatals had the recommended doses of supplements and I thought I was doing something for my baby through taking them. The first trimester took the wind out of my sails and I was always catching something. I had a viral infection. I became so short of breath, I was wheezing and given an asthma pump. I would get dehydrated, which turned into migraines.
By the second trimester, I was finally feeling like I could enjoy my pregnancy. Then, the third trimester came and I thought that once the baby was here, my body would return to some semblance of good health again. WRONG! Prior to my husband and me leaving the country, I remember sitting and eating Chipotle rice. All of a sudden, my tongue grazed a rigid edge of a tooth that once stood in its totality in my mouth. I panicked! My tooth was cracked straight down the middle. A tooth that had no previous signs of decaying or cavity was now a stalactite. In my postpartum period, I gained a total of three holes in different teeth.
I had no idea that losing teeth during pregnancy and postpartum was “normal,” especially for breastfeeding moms. I was also told that if I didn’t supplement through various vitamins, aside my prenatals, that my baby would be taking it directly from my body parts. Calcium from my teeth. Bone from my bones. Hair loss? Brittle hair? Yup, that’s all baby! You get the picture? Without keeping extra supplements in my system, my baby would slowly break my body down. Fatigue? Loss of energy? These can all be attributed to breastfeeding and the need for vitamins like B12 (for fatigue), vitamin D (essential for healthy bones), calcium (for teeth), just to name a few. Who knew of all the sacrifices your body is literally making to ensure that the life you created can thrive?
As I continue the journey of motherhood, I recognize that we need to have more dialogue about what can occur postpartum. It’s important that the experiences we have, we share to help others who come behind us. I'm only four months postpartum and am still learning how to be my best self for myself, my son, and my husband.
The postpartum period is a journey, just like the nine months it takes for your baby to grow inside you. The ideology of “snapping back” is a misnomer and sends women the message of negating all she had to go through during the process of creating and giving life.
The reality is that your body will not be exactly the same. Your mindset will most certainly change. But the more you know, the better chance you have at giving yourself a break and a chance to be human!
What were some lessons you learned postpartum?
Imani is a writer, wife, and mother who spent five years as a professional Sports Broadcaster before a sporadic move to Egypt where she taught English Literature. As a Muslim woman, she does not look to stereotypes to dictate her fate and wants to cultivate a narrative that says "women everywhere, can be anything they choose!" Follow her journey on IG @SheIsAbroad_ and Snapchat @SheIsImani.
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Now, with more than 20 years of experience in professional aviation, starting with American Eagle Airlines and then on to becoming a captain at American Airlines, she has continued to pay it forward. In 2022, she made history as the first commercial airline captain to lead an all-Black, women-led flight crew. She has also written a biography on Bessie Coleman, the first African-American and Native-American woman to earn a pilot’s license, and produced and directed, Discovering Bessie Coleman, working alongside the family to get the project completed. Add to that her role as a founder of consulting firm LadyAv8rBeth, which offers a guide of pathways into aviation, and as a podcast host covering all things aviation.
For Women’s History Month, xoNecole caught up with the busy pilot, in between flights, to talk about her career journey, her role in a Bessie Coleman documentary and book, how she balances self-care and safety, and how other Black women can add to the aviation legacy:
xoNecole: You’ve built an successful career in aviation. And you were only 15 and already had your first flight. Were you afraid at all, or did it feel like second nature to you?
Beth Powell: It felt completely natural. There was no fear, just excitement and curiosity.
Now, it’s what they call STEM, and my teacher at the time thought that I was really good at numbers. He recommended three career paths, and I tried the first one.
I didn't understand why it made sense back then at 15, but as I grew up and met other pilots, I recognized that the reason I liked math and physics was that we were technical learners. So we like to break things apart and put them back together. We like to check procedures. We like to write manuals. We were technical artists.
xoN: That’s such an important message. Many young women and girls are often discouraged from pursuing careers in STEM or aviation, so it’s incredible to hear your story. Now, fast forward a bit—how did you transition into your corporate career with larger airlines?
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BP: After that first discovery flight, I quickly finished my high school classes and graduated at 16. By 17, I had earned my private pilot’s license, and by 18, my commercial license. Then, I moved to the U.S. to attend flight school in Florida. While working on my degree in professional aeronautics, I began working for American Eagle Airlines at just 21. Over the years, I’ve built my career and have now spent 25 years in the airline industry, including 14 years at American Eagle and 11 years at American Airlines. In terms of leadership, being a captain is key.
As a captain, I’m responsible for the aircraft, the crew, and the passengers. It’s a huge responsibility, and you learn a lot about leadership when you’re in charge of so much.
Being a captain definitely teaches you leadership. You’re in charge of every aspect of the flight from the moment you sign in to the moment you sign out. From overseeing the crew to managing the safety and well-being of passengers, you have to make quick decisions and take responsibility. Even when you’re starting out as a first officer, you’re learning vital leadership skills that prepare you for the captain role.
xoN: There's a lot going on with airlines right now that might make someone feel afraid in terms of some of the tragedies that have recently happened. How do you sustain your self-care balance and your resilience in the aviation industry when those sorts of things happen?
BP: I truly believe that aviation is still the safest and the No. 1 safest means of transportation. I say that proudly. For any airline, any pilot, any air traffic controller—anyone who works in the industry—safety is our number one priority. However, of course, we see things happening in the news, and it is concerning to passengers.
What I'm telling everybody to do right now, including myself, is that it's very important to have your source of strength. I'm a Christian, and one of my sources of strength is prayers. I go deep within my prayers every morning, and I pray to God, giving things that I can't control to him, and the rest— I can do my best to deal with.
No. 2 is meditation on the Deepak Chopra app. Ever since COVID happened, that was the first time I thought that I needed something more than just my prayers to help me go through to calm down the noise around me.
And last but not least, I'm really big on self-development. I read, I read, and I read. If your foundation is strong, you have something to build from. And so, when I read, I learn a lot about myself. I learn about what triggers me and when something triggers me. I literally hear the Kendrick Lamar song, "TV Off" in my head, because sometimes you need to shut the noise off.
xoN: That's amazing—the combination of faith and just being excellent at what you do. Now, how did you get involved with the Bessie Coleman project?
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BP: I sit on the board of advisers for an organization called Sisters of the Skies, and was at a gala celebrating with all our Black women of our achievements. At the end of the night, Dr. Sheila Chamberlain walked up to me. She was the first Black woman U.S. combat intelligence aviator in the Army. So, if she's walking up to me, it's very serious. She said, ‘I have a favor to ask.’ I said, ‘Yes.’ I did not hear what the favor was. I didn't know what she was going to ask me, but somebody like that walking up to you saying, ‘a favor’? The answer is yes.
She told me [the project involved] helping the Bessie Coleman family elevate the story. ‘I'd like you to ask your company if they will do a flight in honor of Bessie Coleman.’ I went to the different departments at American Airlines, and the rest was literally history. We did that flight on August 8, 2022, and it became a historical flight because everyone on that flight, from the ground up, was a Black woman.
Gigi Coleman, Bessie’s grand-niece, was also on that flight. We started chatting at the end of the flight. Another night, we were hanging out—Sheila, Gigi, and I—and she kept telling me she wanted to write a book, that she wished there was a movie, and that people approached her about it. Nothing had been done as yet. And I thought, sounds like another mission.
I literally took it on. We do have a documentary with the family sharing their perspective of who Bessie Coleman is. And we do have a book called Queen of the Skies.
xoN: For the young women who are looking for career paths in aviation, what are some skills they need to thrive?
BP: While you don't necessarily have to love math to be a pilot, technical knowledge is important. You’ll need to understand aircraft systems and aerodynamics. This includes weather patterns and instrument training. It might seem daunting at first, but the great thing about flight training is that it builds on itself. The more you learn, the more it all clicks. Also, aviation is constantly changing, and you need to be adaptable.
It’s a field where you need to be ready for anything, from unexpected weather to technical issues. Being open to learning new things and adjusting to change is crucial.
My daughter, who has her private pilot’s license, once said, “This journey is both challenging and rewarding. I feel like I’ve grown so much since starting.” It’s important to keep going, even when it gets tough.
To help others, I’m outlining how they can go from “zero to hero” as a pilot. I offer this information freely on my Instagram account, and it’s something I’m passionate about sharing. I want everyone to have access to the resources they need to follow their dreams.
For more information on Beth Powell, the Bessie Coleman documentary, and aviation career resources, visit LadyAv8rBeth.com.
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