

More and more, our social media timelines are being filled with carefully curated content. From your high school friend who "randomly" became an IG model to the college buddy who started their own business, everyone is using social media to get ahead. Guess what? So should you.
Whether you have a passion or hobby that you're turning into a business, or have knowledge about something specific that people can gain from, now is the time to get familiar with social media and all of the advantages it can have for business. In 2019, everyone is a personal brand. We can no longer deny that personal branding is a determining factor between those who are average and those who reach success beyond measure.
Social media is a tool that anyone can leverage to shape their personal brand and inevitably take their business to another level. The day I decided that writing and blogging was a passion of mine that I wanted to turn into an income, it hit me that I had to change up the way that I approached social media. For as long as I could remember, I've had a love hate relationship with social media (specifically Instagram). Only since the past year or so have I taken social media seriously and used it for my benefit as it pertains to my writing career. Even with a small following, I've been able to create business opportunities for myself and use my "influence" as an expert to build a personal brand.
On a run to Barnes & Noble after getting a recommendation, I picked up the bookInfluencer: Building Your Personal Brand In The Age of Social Media by Brittany Hennessy.
Brittany Hennessy is the Senior Director of Influencer Strategy and Talent Partnerships at Hearst Magazines Digital Media, which means she knows a thing or two about building an audience and being able to grow and monetize your influence. She's the behind the scenes expert that knows everything there is to know about leveraging social media and influence to build a lucrative personal brand or business. The book starts with the preface where she discloses about a instance where she cut a $32,000 check for four social media posts from a dog (yes, a dog)--from that moment I was hooked. From start to finish, Influencer is jam-packed with gems to help influencers at any level and business owners that are looking to get ahead with the help of social media.
Author Brittany Hennessy
Though Brittany's book mainly focuses on those looking to monetize their influence, it's also a great tool for those looking to start or build a business using social media. Brittany sat down with xoNecole to really break down how aspiring influencers and entrepreneurs can leverage social media to bring their respective brands to the next level in 2019.
Here are some of the gems she left us with:
1. Network & Get to Know the Key Players in your Field
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Just because you're building a business or career with limited face to face interactions doesn't mean networking isn't a huge part of building your personal brand. Knowing who's who in your field will be able to get your product (or yourself) in front of the right people. From my own personal experience, developing a personal brand online has helped me connect with PR companies that I have been able to build relationships with as a professional writer. Whether I need products for an article or expert quotes, having a Rolodex of contacts has been a game-changer.
According to Brittany, here's what you need to be doing during the first quarter of the year:
"Figure out what kind of brands you want to work with. Who are the key people that you will need to talk to [in order] to work with those brands and how are you going to get to those people. You want to be featured in Cosmo in the the travel section? Great. Who is the travel editor? Look her up on LinkedIn. Do you have a mutual friend? Did she go to your college? You [have] to start doing the legwork now so you can get to a point where you can introduce yourself. You have a story to tell her and a reason why she should cover you [or your business]. That [will] take your career to the next level."
2. Stop Worrying About What Everyone Else is Doing
When you see people gaining success on social media, it's easy to fall into a rut of comparison. You may even feel the need to do what other people are doing in hopes of getting ahead. According to Brittany, this is the last thing that you want to do. When you're developing your own personal brand online, don't use what other people are doing as a blueprint – that's not your brand. Do what feels right for your brand or as a Brittany shared with us:
"[Ask yourself] 'What's your story?' It's never good to just do what everybody else is doing because they got that angle covered and they're going to do it better than you. So you have to figure out what is your angle."
3. People No Longer Buy Products, They Buy into People
Think of some of your favorite influencers out there who have started their own business or have collabed with a brand to create a product. Chances are, regardless if the product is something that fulfills a need that you have, you'll support it because of the influencer attached to it. Just think of Fenty Beauty. Even with Rihanna not being significantly influential in the beauty industry prior to building her own brand, she did have influence as a celebrity and was able to leverage that. Fenty Beauty instantly became a household name that often sells out. You can buy any makeup but you choose to buy Fenty Beauty because you support Rihanna and what Rihanna stands for (as a personal brand).
People also are hooked on the behind the scenes stuff. How many times have you seen popular brands on social media showing you the process behind developing a new product? Each time, it makes you more excited because you feel like a personal connection because the brand allows you to be a part of the process. According to Brittany, this is a part of your story that will separate you from other brands out there.
"All of these newer brands that are popping up, people are looking at the founders and they know the founders' story. We're in an age of nosy, everybody likes knowing your business. So if you're making a product, we want to know the story behind the product. For example, if you makes clothes, people want to see you in the garment district looking for fabrics. If you make food, they want to see you at the farmer's market."
"People want to know the story behind the things that they're buying. You've got to be able to tell that story because that will really be the difference."
4. You Don’t Need a Ton of Money to Build a Personal Brand or Create Amazing Content
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When people are first starting out as aspiring influencers and business owners, they feel the need to dish out tons of money on equipment to create content. From a professional camera to booking locations for photoshoots, according to Brittany, these are unnecessary expenses that you can easily forego, especially in the beginning.
"I think the first thing people need to realize is that you don't have to create all of your content. You don't have to shoot in these exotic locations. You know people want to be influenced but that doesn't necessarily mean it's by your photos. People are also influenced by captions. Depending on what your subject matter is, the photo may not even be that important. You can also curate with other people's content. If you look at the biggest people on Instagram, some don't create any of their content and have tons of followers. Look at the success of Huffington Post –for years they didn't write any of their content. They're curators."
5. Start with Small Goals
It's easy to look at your favorite brands and influencers posting exceptional content day in and out and think you need to post 5 times a day to get to their level. Pump your brakes. It's best to start out slow and find your groove instead of becoming overly ambitious.
"It's just like going to the gym. You didn't go to the gym all [last year] and you tell yourself I'm going to go everyday. Good luck doing that. You're going to go [the] first few days, go too hard and then you're going to be out of commission the rest of the week. It's the same thing with posting online. Get started by posting two really good posts a week [then increase from there]. You want to start off small and just get into a routine."
6. Stay Consistent and Develop Good Habits When No One is Looking
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We've all heard the phrase, "It's not what you know, it's who you know." This can sometimes be true when building a brand but in all honesty honing your skills is the only true way to get ahead. Brands aren't going to pay Mediocre Mary to create content for them and people aren't gong to buy from Slacking Sally. You need to be consistent and put in the work.
"You want to develop your good habits when no one is looking because the minute you have eyes on you, if you make a mistake your audience will call you out on it."
7. Remember: Social Media Isn't Reality
With every one and every brand posting these perfect feeds, it's easy to get caught up in comparison. Brittany keeps it really real with us, sharing why comparing your life to anything you see online is the LAST thing you should do:
"You might think you know what somebody else is doing. [Your favorite influencer] got all these great clothes but she hasn't paid student loans in six months. Like you don't know what people's stories really are. Everybody is struggling. Celebrities are getting their homes foreclosed and losing hundreds of millions of dollars. Social media is really just rose-colored glasses. In general, a lot of people are only sharing the really good stuff that happened to them. So you can't compare yourself because you don't know what else is happening when this picture is not being taken. You can only be in a competition with yourself."
On your journey to building your personal brand and business in 2019, remember these major keys from the expert herself, Brittany Hennessy. You should also check out her bestselling book Influencer: Building Your Personal Brand In The Age Of Social Media to get all the knowledge and actionable steps you need to slay your business goals in 2019.
Featured image courtesy of Brittany Hennessy
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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