On television, we know her as "Coach D" and her dance students and dance moms affectionately refer to her as "Miss D" or "Mom D." In real life, however, her close family and friends know her more intimately as Dianna Williams – a wife, mother, and an entrepreneur.
Every week, viewers tune in to see how Coach D will deliver another dance competition victory for her talented and unstoppable Dancing Doll factory (#DD4L) on the Lifetime hit series Bring It!. Dianna's tough, no-nonsense, and powerful method of coaching clearly works when it comes to encouraging and empowering her dancers to leave it all on the dance floor. It's no wonder that the Dancing Dolls bring the heat and take home a victory almost every competition.
Dianna not only knows how to win on the dance floor, she also wins in another important part of her life: marriage. This is evident by the fact that she and her husband, Robert Williams, recently celebrated ten years of marriage, which is something Dianna does not take lightly. "When you're married, it's definitely a life-altering situation. I feel like one year is something to celebrate," she revealed exclusively to xoNecole.
Viewers often see her tough exterior on the show, but it's her softer and more vulnerable side that we aren't always privy to. Nevertheless, she's managed, and is learning how to embrace and balance both her strong and vulnerable sides.
Being in the public eye and being successful can easily cause one to develop a rough exterior of protection. However, Dianna has always felt the need to protect herself because she was constantly being judged, and she can remember having shade thrown at her since she was a little girl. Hence, the inspiration for her new book Standing in the Shade.
"We share a love amongst each other that other people don't get to see. My husband isn't judgmental and I've been through a lot. He's been consistent, loving me through it and unashamedly."
It's the time she spends with her husband when she feels most comfortable and allows herself to be vulnerable. From national competitions to tours and appearances, Dianna is constantly on-the-go, but having her husband by her side serves as the constant support she desires to help balance everything. "It's comforting. I feel like I have a safety net. When I'm at home, I know I'm okay. If anything happens, he will make sure it's okay," she shared.
And for Dianna, her love for and support from Robert isn't anything new. Although Robert was living in Atlanta at the time, it was at a club in Jackson, Mississippi where they first met. He was so captivated by Dianna's beauty and her personality that he immediately proclaimed that night on the dance floor, "Girl you look so good. You're going to make me move back to Jackson."
Instagram/@mrs_d2uAnd just like that, Robert packed up his things and moved to Missippi to pursue a life with the woman of his dreams. "People say stuff…and you never believe it's true or [that] it's going to work out but he actually moved back to Jackson," Dianna said.
For the first three or four months, their relationship was tested and they went through a lot together. While Dianna and Robert were excited to celebrate this new beginning together in Jackson, it was bittersweet as well because Robert ended up losing his job for a period. Nevertheless, it didn't stop Robert from showing Dianna that he could hold his own and be the man that he wanted to be for her.
For Dianna, that was the first time in a long time that she didn't have to take care of somebody else. She saw his resilience and his strong work ethic, which attracted her to him that much more. "He did things to make sure we had food in the house. Nothing was ever too grimy [for him]. Seeing that in him, him wanting me to be okay… for the first time in a long time, it wasn't me having to take care of anybody. He was looking out for me."
Although Robert was and has always been ready and willing to step up and be the man for her, the transition for Dianna wasn't (and at times still isn't) always easy for her. According to Coach D, she's always felt as if she's had to be independent. Since the age of nine, for more than twenty years of her life, she was constantly cooking, cleaning, and looking after her brothers. Hence, she has always taken on the role of "the boss," which has obviously helped her to be as successful as she is now. However, she didn't know how to allow others to help her, which is something she still struggles with to this day as a married woman.
"My husband is a good man, but I've been independent for so long. It's not that I don't think my husband [or] feel like my husband wouldn't take care of me or wouldn't do certain things, but I'm just so used to doing it or getting it done."
Nevertheless, after ten successful years of marriage, Dianna and Robert are finding the balance and making it work. Between filming, working, and traveling, Dianna's schedule can become quite busy and hectic. The fact that Robert gets up with their son every single morning and takes him to school proves that teamwork makes the dream work. Even when she needs him to be with her on the road, he's there.
Besides being a mom, wife, coach, and TV personality, she also owns and manages three Dollhouse Dance Studios; she's an author; she released a new set of emojis (DD4L Emojis), and she recently started a non-profit foundation. It's no surprise that the outside stress and noise of everything that comes with proactively pursuing your dreams can be quite overwhelming at times, but Robert is always there to encourage her. "My husband definitely lets me cry and I cry a lot. He tells me 'I'm going to let you cry, but when we're done, we're done. This is the gift that you have. I'm not going to let you walk away until you're sure you're done. We're not going to do it out of emotion and frustration so you don't live with regret.'"
Courtesy of Dianna Williams
He also reminds her of who she is in moments life makes her question that. "'Remember who you are,'" she recalls him saying. "'There is strength in who you are!'"
It's obvious through all of her success that Dianna is committed to winning the dancefloor but even more importantly, she is committed to maintaining a winning marriage. For Dianna, she's learned that in order to be successful in marriage you have to listen, be open-minded, learn to compromise, and you can't be selfish. And her biggest key? She believes marriage is truly victorious when "you allow your partner to win as much as you want to win."
To keep up with Coach D, follow her on Instagram.
Feature image courtesy of Twitter/@I_AM_DIANNA.
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Have mercy. Now, I will give each of you a moment to read that over again because, I think that if you didn’t catch what she was conveying the first time, you will on the second go-around. Clearly, her husband could stand to take it up a few notches in the foreplay department (and/or she needed to get her hormone levels checked — I presented both options) because she wasn’t receiving enough arousal fluid during sex, although she did produce what seemed to be enough vaginal discharge and lubrication the rest of the time — and no, those aren’t the same things. What’s wild is a lot of people don’t know that.
Yep, believe it or not, although your vagina is a warm and wet place, what can cause it to have the moisture that it does is a variety of things. Today, let’s dive into what those are so that you can know what to pay close attention to, should there ever happen to be a…shift in hydration.
What Is Vaginal Discharge?
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If your mom or grandma ever told you that you don’t need to douche because your vagina is “self-cleaning,” what she was basically saying is you don’t need help to remove the old cells and unnecessary bacteria that’s down there because that’s what your vaginal discharge is naturally created to do. If you’re curious about where vaginal discharge originates from, it’s actually not just one spot; fluids that come from your uterus, cervix, and vagina all help to make up vaginal discharge which, when healthy, can range from being clear to being off-white in color.
When it comes to how much vaginal discharge you should be experiencing on a daily basis, a lot of what speaks to the time of the month that you are in (as it relates to your cycle). For instance, if you are ovulating or pregnant, it’s natural to see an uptick in how much discharge your body produces.
However, the times when you should have some sort of cause for concern is if your discharge is a different color (like yellow, gray, green, or brown) and/or the texture is different (like if it’s thick like cottage cheese) and/or it smells strong or fishy and/or you have some itchiness, irritation or burning as far as your discharge goes.
If any of these are the case, you are probably dealing with an increased level of discharge because your body is trying to fight off some type of infection. What that means is you should make an appointment with your doctor, so that they can give you a proper diagnosis. As far as how much discharge is considered to be “normal,” although that somewhat varies per individual, on average, you shouldn’t expect more than one-half to one full teaspoon of vaginal discharge on a daily basis.
What Is Arousal Fluid?
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Okay, so here’s the thing about your vagina being wet — even if you aren’t sexually aroused, it will have moisture in it. That is by design because your vaginal walls and cervix create a fluid that helps to keep that part of your body lubricated so that you can remain comfortable and your vagina doesn’t experience any tearing or injury. Keeping that in mind, when you do become sexually stimulated and blood flow increases to your genital region, something that transpires is your vagina walls will produce a particular type of wetness (via your Skene’s glands) — and that is oftentimes referred to as arousal fluid.
Something that’s worth noting about arousal fluid is it typically only shows up when you’re aroused and, as far as its texture goes, it’s usually clear, slippery, and kind of mucus-like. It should also go on record that the more “into the moment” you are, the more arousal fluid your body will probably produce. This is a good thing because it helps to make sex more pleasurable by reducing the amount of friction that you could potentially feel during intercourse.
While we’re on the topic of this one, you might be wondering if, when it comes to squirting, what women are releasing is an abundance of arousal fluid. Eh. Although this is probably going to be a debate until each and every cow comes home, what many science experts say is while there is some vaginal lubrication and arousal fluid that are present during squirting, an involuntary release of urine is transpiring too (check it out here, here and here). Do with that what you will, chile.
What Is Cervical Mucus?
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It was around this time last year that I penned a piece for the platform entitled, “Ladies, This Is How To Keep Your Cervix Super Healthy.” I thought it was a topic that should be addressed because, although the cervix doesn’t typically get discussed a lot (definitely not as much as the vagina does), that doesn’t mean it doesn’t deserve its props. As the part of the body that is the base of your uterus, your cervix is what your menstrual blood flows out of, it’s the “exit sign” that babies follow when you’re giving birth — and it creates a type of mucus that makes it easier for you to get pregnant.
As far as your cervical mucus goes, it is a fluid that your cervix produces that does two main things. The first is to, yes, make it easier for sperm to travel in order to impregnate you during your time of ovulation. The rest of the month, though, cervical mucus serves as a protective barrier, so that unnecessary fluids do not enter into your cervix.
That said, something that’s important to keep in mind about cervical mucus is its texture changes throughout the month. For instance, right after your cycle ends, it might be a bit sticky; around day seven, it might become like thinned-out yogurt; as you’re ovulating, it will be stretchy and slippery (sort of like egg whites), and then, as your cycle approaches, your cervical mucus will probably be dry.
Aside from your cycle, other things that can shift the texture of your cervical mucus include certain medications, vaginal infections, stress, birth control, and breastfeeding. And how can you know that something is a bit “off” when it comes to your cervical mucus? It shouldn’t have an odor, or a dark color and it shouldn’t be itchy or irritating. If it is any of this, see your physician.
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This is one of those articles that I really wish that high school-level science class did a better job at breaking down because, the more that we know about our vaginas, the better we can be at taking care of them.
As for the wife who I mentioned in the intro — oh, we got that spit thing worked out. Chile, there are way too many fluids going on down there — CLEARLY — to have to rely on that. Just sayin’.
Anyway, the more you know. The more that you freakin’ know.
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