
For women that are well-endowed up top, it sometimes seems ludicrous to think of reducing what is perceived as a gift from God: a full bosom. However, I was genetically handpicked to be part of the big titty committee while in puberty, getting fit for my first big girl bra at a C-cup, and reaching an H-cup in adulthood.
Yes, you read that right, and that cup size is beyond a DDD and GG! So I can attest that it didn't make it less heavy just because I carried the load well. After many attempts to naturally reduce my breast size by exercising, eating healthy, and spending a lot of money on high-quality bras that lifted my breasts and minimized their massive appearance, I felt tired.
I was tired of wearing the same shirt as a person with a moderate breast size but being perceived as “sexually suggestive” because of my unintentional overflowing cleavage. I was tired of wearing two bras to enjoy a workout without bouncing all over the place while straining my shoulders. I was exhausted from putting in much work to lose weight and still appeared heavier than I was because of my breast size.
I can go on and on, but I am not a breast preacher, just merely a woman who understood that the growth and appearance of my breasts naturally was not something I could control. However, the appearance, size, and shape of my breasts were something that I could take steps to change with assistance.
My Breast Reduction Journey
Google was my worst enemy at first, with the image search giving my skeptical brain too many images of before and after results without much context and respect for the fact that the world of surgery is constantly moving forward. Someone's results and experiences from 2010 aren’t necessarily reflective of surgeons' access to the techniques and technology of today. After a recommendation from my mom, I made an account on RealSelf, an excellent resource for people interested in getting unbiased information on cosmetic procedures.
This tool was most helpful because I could see unpaid and honest reviews and experiences from real people in real-time who shared the good, the bad, and the ugly of their breast reduction journey. Most importantly, the site gave me the contact information of doctors in my area with great reviews allowing me to book a real-life consultation and have the whole process explained to me by a medical professional.
This step was crucial because, as they say, “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” So I printed out a "wish pic" of perky boobies and headed to the surgeon's office. The consultation was free and my surgeon was fantastic and informative.
What To Know About Getting a Breast Reduction
Breast reduction surgery can be a medically necessary surgery. Whether it is or not depends on factors like the pain experienced, the length of the breast tissue, and the height of the person interested. In my case, I was diagnosed with breast hypertrophy, which is just the overgrowth of breast tissue caused by many factors like hormones and genetics.
When measuring for a breast reduction, it's hard for a doctor to reduce you to a specific cup size. This is because they are more concerned about the weight and length of your breasts than a clothing measurement. It is essential to advocate for how you want your breasts to look in proportion to the rest of your body. “Wish pictures” help further illustrate your desired aesthetic. In my case, I loved having full breasts but did not like how they kept growing vertically. I desired for them to naturally look the way they would in a bra without me having to wear one.
Telling them this resulted in the surgeon removing around 2-3 pounds of breast tissue, decreasing the weight and volume of my breasts while keeping the roundness and fullness. Before the procedure, when I measured my breasts from my collarbone to my nipple, it was 14 inches. After surgery, there were 10 inches. That was a vast improvement aesthetically and also felt terrific physically.
A breast reduction automatically includes a breast lift. The lifting portion was fun for me because the surgeon and I collaborated on determining factors such as the size of my areolas and the placement of my nipples. My nipples naturally being toward the very bottom of my breasts made it so that they weren't pleasurably sensitive and did not present well without my bra on. It turns out that lifting the nipple more towards the center of my breasts drastically improved their appearance and reinforced my overall satisfaction over the years with my decision to pursue surgery regardless of real-life factors like weight fluctuation.
Because of the lift, when I look in the mirror, my nipples sit high and say 'hello' back, giving them a perky appearance that I didn't have otherwise. My bras fit way better because now my breasts are more centered, and the straps do not have to lift up a lot of weight. Though cosmetic surgery is not a fairytale, there is something about a surgeon being able to mark up your breasts the day before surgery as if they are drawing breasts on you that you only dreamed about and then waking up from anesthesia to see those measurements are a reality. Yes, my boobies and I screamed, "I woke up like this?!"
If deemed medically necessary, the surgery can be covered by your insurance. This part is a money saver. In this rare case, you’ll see the intersection between a cosmetic and medically necessary procedure. Some insurance plans require you to see your primary care physician or OBGYN for a referral to approve the surgery. Others allow the surgeon to examine your breast, diagnose the issue, and send in the information needed to support the procedure.
It’s best that you call your insurance company and ask about breast reduction coverage so that they can inform you of their requirements for approval, along with how much you will have to pay out of pocket if anything
My Breast Reduction Recovery & Final Thoughts
My only regret about this procedure is that I didn't do it sooner. After surgery, real life hit me. I had to make sure I was prepared for permanent (but minimal) scarring, and post-surgery healing complications, and most of all, I had to keep realistic expectations. I quickly grew accustomed to my breasts' perky silicone implant-like appearance in the first months after surgery. Still, the breast tissues settle and position themselves more naturally after months and years.
My breasts naturally and subtly grow when I gain weight; they naturally decrease in size when I lose weight. The benefit is that they are smaller and in a better position than they would have been without surgery. In many ways, this decision allowed me to live my teenaged-dream by enjoying T-shirts without bras and without looking "disheveled" when lounging. I get to appreciate how my ta-tas look in pajamas, lingerie, and other clothes without feeling overly exposed, self-conscious, and having to adjust my shirt a dozen times.
My decision was one of self-love and self-care. If you are considering this life-changing operation, book your consultation to see how the surgery could positively impact your life too!
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Featured image by jacoblund/Getty Images
- Ayesha Curry Regrets Getting Implants In The Past: “They Weren’t Good For Me” ›
- Kandi Burruss Opens Up About Plastic Surgery And Recent Breast Reduction ›
- I've Lost 100 Pounds & Still Have Issues With Body Image ›
New Jersey native creating a life that she loves while living in gratitude. She loves using beauty, and fashion to create a balanced lifestyle while prioritizing wellness. A devoted fur mom, and a full-time lover of laughter. She is out for revenge against the darkness by being light, taking her own advice, traveling the world, and letting you know that you are so lit! Connect with her via IG @iamzaniah and please visit Zaniahsworld.com
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak