
Even though I’ve been rockin’ an H-cup for quite some time now, it’s still funny when I haven’t seen someone in a while, and they try and not low-key gasp when they take me all in with their eyes. I get it — kind of. I mean, if the last time you saw me was when I was in my 20s, it is quite a shift that’s transpired as far as my upper region goes. Plus, whenever I look down at these bad boys, I only see half of my breasts. And since they don’t feel heavy at all (not sure why but…), it’s not until I’m in a full-length mirror that I get that they are pretty, well, let’s go with “wondrous” to behold.
I ain’t complaining. The women on my father’s side of the family bestowed them upon me. What I will say, though, is when you’re a card-carrying member of the Over D-Cup and Up Club, “to whom much is given, much is required” is quite the understatement. Over the years, I’ve had to learn how to take good and then better care of my girls. And what I’ve learned, through a bit of trial and error, are the following 15 things.
If you’re in the club with me, hopefully, you’ll learn a hack or two that can make your breasts more of a blessing and less of a burden (if that’s how they’ve been making you feel as of late).
1. Get Fitted for Bras on an Annual Basis

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Listen, again, as someone who wears a 38H, I already know that this one will probably cause some of you to roll your eyes, yet the reality is that bra experts say that we all (regardless of size) need to have no less than 4-6 bras that we rotate and then replace every 6-12 months. Can that get to be expensive? When you’ve got large girls, yes. At the same time, that’s why getting professionally fitted, yes, on an annual basis, is such a wise move.
Not only can you make sure that you are the same size as before (listen, I jumped from a C-cup to an H-cup in my 30s), but you can also discover brands that may work better for you than the ones you currently wear; ones that might be cheaper. My recommendation? Consider Wacoal. The price point is not super ridiculous; they fit comfortably, and they’ve got some that don’t look boring and bland (y’all know what I mean). Plus, you can oftentimes find pretty good sales on sites like Amazon.
2. Avoid Synthetic Bras
Before the article is over, we’ll talk about breasts and yeast infections. A few years back, I had a DOOZY of one underneath my left breast, and a part of the reason was that I was constantly wearing bras that were made out of synthetic fabrics like rayon, nylon, and spandex (or a blend) instead of “breathable bras” like cotton or silk.
We all know that bras stay on for literally hours at a time, and when you’re a D+ woman, that’s a lot of flesh that’s tucked away in them. The less sweat and moisture that’s trapped up in your bras, the more your skin will ultimately thank you for it. So, unless you’re trying to be sexy for a few minutes, leave synthetic bras alone.
3. Buy an “Asymmetrical-Friendly” Bra
I once read that a whopping 90 percent of women have some sort of “unevenness” when it comes to their breasts. Why is that the case? It’s because we all have two sides of our body that are more like sisters than twins. That’s why you might not have identical eyebrows no matter how hard you try to shape them, or one eye, hand, or foot might be slightly larger than the other.
There’s nothing wrong with any of this, yet if your breasts do have you feeling a bit self-conscious, there are some bras that are designed to give the appearance that things are “balanced out.” T-shirt bras, plunge bras, and balconette bras all fit the bill. The bra expert who helps to fit you for new bras should be able to give you some suggestions, too.
4. Pay Attention to Your (Natural) Estrogen Consumption

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Back when my breasts were “doing the most” as far as growth goes, because I was no longer in puberty, I did ask my doctor (at the time) what the hell was going on. One thing was genetics. Another? My diet. Just like birth control can make your breasts bigger due, in part, to the level of estrogen that is in them, phytoestrogens can do the same thing. What are those? In the context of what I’m talking about, they’re foods that have plant-based estrogen in them.
So, if you’re a big fan of foods like plums, pears, apples, grapes, cabbage, spinach, tofu, garlic, onions, or beans, you are taking a form of estrogen into your system — and that could be playing a direct role into why your breasts seem to be getting larger. The bottom line here? Don’t overdo anything. Keep it all in balance.
5. Always Wear a Sports Bra While Working Out
Something that I’ve had to accept over here at the big age that I am is if I want my breasts to remain looking as youthful as they did when I was in my 20s and 30s, I’m going to have to exercise more often. If you’re slowly starting to surrender to that fact as well, please make sure that you invest in a sports bra for ample support. You are going to be absolutely miserable if you’re trying to get your run on or do some push-ups if the girls are flying and flopping all over the place. If you’d like a few tips on where to get a great sports bra, check out Women’s Health’s article, “The 19 Best Sports Bras for Women With Big Boobs.”
6. Build Up Your Pectoral Muscles
Speaking of a good sports bra for exercising, no matter what size your breasts may be, they are guaranteed to lose elastin over time; that’s just the way life is. If you want to keep them looking perky — or at least, perkier — without going under the knife, developing your pectoral muscles is the way to go. If you want to incorporate this more into your own workout routine, check out Women’s Health’s “The 20 Best Chest Exercises To Add To Your Upper-Body Workouts, According To A Trainer” and Shape’s “The Best Chest Workout for Women.” I’m telling you, every time I focus on my pecs, my breasts (and bustline) always look fuller. Never fails.
7. Watch Your Alcohol Intake

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Some things aren’t shared with you in order to make you paranoid; some things are just a reminder to do (most) things in moderation. And that’s where this point about alcohol comes in. While, on one hand, alcohol comes with some health benefits (check out “10 Ways Alcohol Can Be Good For You Past A Great Buzz”), the flip side is it can increase your chances of being diagnosed with breast cancer. How? Well, alcohol can cause an uptick in your estrogen levels, and when that happens, not only could it lead to larger breasts, but there’s a chance that it could increase your chances of breast cancer, too. Again, that’s nothing to get super worried about; it’s simply something to take special note of.
8. Massage Your Breasts on a Weekly Basis
I’m thinking that you already know that you should be conducting routine breast self-examinations every 7-10 days after your period starts. Yet if you also want to improve the appearance of your breasts, performing a breast massage on a weekly basis is a really good idea, too. It increases blood flow to your breasts, helps to increase elasticity to the skin and it can also help them to sag less. Just apply a carrier oil like olive or sweet almond and gently rub in a circular motion for about half of a 30-minute sitcom. You should notice a difference in how they appear within a month or so.
9. DIY Some Cornstarch Pads
Boob sweat. Sometimes, especially during the hotter seasons, it’s unavoidable; that’s the bad news. The good news is that you can combat it naturally with the help of some homemade cornstarch pads. It’s simple. Just sprinkle some cornstarch on a few make-up pads and place the pads underneath each of your breasts after putting on your bra. Not only is cornstarch a highly effective way to absorb excess moisture, but it also contains amino acids that will help keep the collagen and elastin in your breasts strong and healthy.
10. Invest in an Essential Oil Collection

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Something that I’m super thankful for is I don’t have many stretch marks, really anywhere, but definitely not only my breasts. There’s nothing wrong with those either; all they are is the result of your skin stretching out further and/or faster than the elasticity in your skin is able to accommodate. If this is your personal testimony (especially if it’s due to pregnancy, which made your breast sizes jump a few cups), something that can help is to apply argan, lavender, neroli, pomegranate, or frankincense (that’s been mixed with a carrier oil like coconut, sweet almond or grapeseed oil) to them on a daily basis. Not only will this help with the elasticity of your skin, but it can make your breasts appear softer and more supple as well.
11. Use Hemp Oil or Mango Butter for Itchy Skin
With big breasts comes more skin to maintain. So, if itchiness is what you’re dealing with, it could be due to dry skin, eczema or psoriasis, or your breast skin stretching out. Two things that can help with any of these reasons are hemp oil or mango butter. Hemp oil can reduce skin inflammation as it deeply moisturizes. Mango butter is full of Vitamin A and fatty acids that will not only hydrate your skin, it will also soften the appearance of stretch marks and help to keep your breasts looking younger. For a lot of reasons, I’ve been a fan of mango butter for years. Personally, I like to whip up a batch of my own. You can check out a quick YT video on how to DIY some for yourself here.
12. Have Some Anti-Fungal Cream on Tap
Okay, something I must admit that I used to have a habit of doing is, whenever I would bathe or shower, although I would lift up my breasts to wash the skin that’s underneath them, I wasn’t exactly looking at what was going on under there — and I should’ve. One day, it was feeling so itchy and raw that I stood in the mirror and was damn near horrified. Why? Because I had a purple ring that was shiny and looked slightly sweaty. It was a yeast infection.
Yep, contrary to what a lot of people think, you can experience an overgrowth of yeast just about anywhere. Mine was so bad that I had to take an antibiotic to clear everything up (look up under there at least twice a week, y’all!); however, if you start to notice some itchiness or redness and your skin doesn’t look raw (just like it has some “sheen” to it), applying the same kind of antifungal that you would if you had a vaginal yeast infection can help to get rid of a breast yeast infection fairly quickly. Yep. A tube of Monistat is a must-have for women with big breasts.
13. Try Some Red Clover Extract

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Whether you’re in menopause or perimenopause, something all-natural that can help to bring some relief is red clover extract. Word on the street is that it’s great at reducing hot flashes, decreasing depression-related symptoms, and also helping with vaginal dryness — all of which can transpire as your body is shifting into menopause.
Since it’s also a solid remedy for improving the texture of both your hair as well as your skin, I just thought I would put it on record for this article too, especially if your nipples feel rougher or drier than usual.
14. Don’t Wear Bras While You’re at Home
To be totally candid, the debate of whether or not you should wear a bra is one that we’ll probably not come to a full agreement on while the earth continues to spin, especially when you’re a D-cup or above. The reason why I’m personally Team No Bra when you’re at home is because there is scientific evidence to back up the fact that, by not constantly suppressing your breasts in a bra, that can make it easier for collagen to flow through them, and that can help your breasts to ultimately look and feel firmer.
So, as long as having your girls “run wild and free” doesn’t hurt your back or feel uncomfortable, in general, give them a break when you walk in the door from work. The paranoia about that leading to sagging? You’d have to go much longer than you think (hours and hours for months on end) for that to be a major cause of concern.
15. Avoid Sleeping on Your Stomach (As Much As Possible)
Even though sleeping on your stomach may feel comfortable, did you know that it doesn’t actually have any solid health benefits to it? In fact, according to many sleep experts, other than reducing snoring, it can ultimately do your body more harm than good, especially since it has the tendency to totally throw your spine out of whack. Something else that it can do is cause your breasts' ligaments to stretch out, which, along with aging, breastfeeding, menopause, obesity, and collagen deficiencies, can also cause less firmness in the breasts. So, if you want to keep the big girls sitting up as much as possible, sleeping on your side or back is best.
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Having a lot of breasts comes with a lot, no doubt. As you can see, though, with some knowledge and implemented TLC, they can always be seen as a blessing and not a curse. Take care of your girls — you’ll never regret taking the extra steps to ensure that they are…good.
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This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Kerry Washington Says The Key To Her Signature Glow Lies In Her Wellness Routine
For more than a decade, actress Kerry Washington has lit up our TV screens in her iconic roles from Scandal to Little Fires Everywhere. But like any beloved starlet with so much to balance and maintain in their public and private life, Washington is managing to take a holistic approach to her overall wellness routine.
“I think we put an emphasis on if you look good, you'll feel good. And I think it's the opposite,” Washington tells Yahoo Life. “If I feel good, I'll look good, because I'll shine and I'll put my best foot forward."
Her from-the-inside-out approach to achieving the signature glow we’ve all grown to associate with the wife and mother of three is one that hasn’t come without its challenges. With her busy schedule and list of projects, Washington admits that if there was one thing she’d make more time for, it would be her beauty rest.
"Those are the areas that I find I struggle with more, stress and a lack of sleep,” she says. “So it's really important for me to keep challenging myself to take better care of myself.”
For Washington, self-care looks like taking time to journal her thoughts, attending therapy, meditating, and spending time with people — and pets — that bring her joy and restore her sense of peace after a stressful day.
"That sense of community of being able to be with people who I love and who love me unconditionally, I find that that can sometimes be the greatest stress reliever, and pets," she shares. "I started therapy in college, so decades ago. And it's been a really, really important tool," she explains. "When I engage in behavior that is loving, it can help me feel more loved and lovable."
While these loving behaviors may vary from day to day, Washington says that sprinkling in acts of “love and kindness” has been the key to feeling her best self, all over.
"Sometimes that means pulling myself up, washing my face, putting on sunscreen, and going out the door. And sometimes that's like cocooning in my bubble bath and taking it easy," she says. "Treating myself with love and kindness, especially my skin, my most important organ. That can be a pathway to feeling better."
Featured image by Rob Latour/Shutterstock
Originally published on July 11, 2023









