What is Breadcrumbing? And Why Does it Happen?

Of course, we needed to know a little more about breadcrumbing for our own protection while in these streets. So shall we back this up? Yes, because what exactly is classified as ‘bullsh*tting’ or ‘breadcrumbing’? Well, Coach Wellington put us up on game for when trying to build your starting lineup of potential partners and then hopefully a future with someone special. She first explained very matter-of-factly what the phenomenon is, “Breadcrumbing is when someone gives a romantic interest just enough attention to keep them interested but they aren't really looking to commit to this person.”

Additionally, our expert provides two reasons breadcrumbing often occurs: 1.) They enjoy the attention of multiple people at the same time, and 2.) They want to keep their options open so when they do decide to commit, they have more readily available options open.

How to Avoid Breadcrumbing

Like most anything else we can avoid breadcrumbing by setting healthy expectations and boundaries for all relationships, especially in the early stages of dating when breadcrumbing would be most likely to happen. Though this is not to say that it cannot occur in an established relationship.

Wellington advises, getting “clear” on “what you require from those you date” and then communicating those expectations to the person(s) you’re dating. She offers the example of quality time, stating, “If you'd like to speak to the person you're seeing every day or to go out on dates once a week, etc. [Make this known to your person.] After you've kindly made your expectations clear, if the person is unwilling or unable to deliver, then move on.”

You’ve Been Breadcrumbed…What Now?

Once you’ve been breadcrumbed, or the person has initiated the process, it’s essentially best to clock that behavior, set the boundary, and move on if it goes unchanged. Depending on who you are and how you operate in regard to red flags, it might even behoove you to get gone at the first sight of a red flag, especially because our expert states that more often than not the perpetrator “knows exactly what they are doing.”

When it’s all said and done, all is not fair in love and war but that doesn’t mean that any one of us has to accept less. That said, when you find yourself in this position it’s important that you move with integrity and thus on to the next. But, I will also add this is why it’s imperative that we get back to the true concept of dating. Not to keep deferring to our grandparents, but in the age of social media, it’s more critical than ever that we don’t put all our eggs in one basket.

Dating around is intended to see what our options are. Perhaps if we all continue to date this way until it is clear on both sides what the next steps are and what commitment looks like, then there would be no need for all of these games. Perhaps.

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