

Relationship dynamics with a boss can be rewarding for some and a nightmare for others. When you first start a job, there’s an attempt to impress, and it’s often like dating someone you really like for the first time. Each of you has to get to know one another in order to learn how best to interact and get along while also getting your job done. The power aspect can be a bit of a threat since your manager or supervisor basically holds the reins of your career’s future.
These sorts of pressures can be a lot for both parties, but more so for the employee. In fact, research shows that most people find their managers to be a pain to deal with. According to McKinsey and Co., in a recent study, 75 percent of survey participants said that the “most stressful” aspect of their job was their immediate boss.
One of the most significant “drivers” of workplace satisfaction in interpersonal relationships is “relationship with management,” which means if you don’t have a decent relationship with your boss, it can drastically affect your productivity and quality of work output.
When you’re having difficulties that center on a boss who seems to never be satisfied with you, leads with toxic behaviors, or you two simply don’t mesh, here are a few things you can do:
1. Think hard about whether they really do "hate" you or whether you're projecting an insecurity.
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Projection, in this case, is a psychological concept where a person displaces their own feelings of insecurity onto someone else. Sometimes, this can happen at work. You might project because there’s something within that you haven’t really dealt with—a hard truth about your abilities, a feeling of not being good enough, or other self-esteem issues.
I once felt this way at a job, early in my career, and thought the problem was my boss. I’d often get defensive when they offered constructive criticism or called me out on something I’d clearly done incorrectly. In reality, my boss wanted the best for me all along.
They were never disrespectful and always tried to endear themselves to me, but I had a huge chip on my shoulder due to a perfectionist complex. I just couldn’t fathom that I needed mentorship or to improve because I’d always been the honor student or the “mama’s girl” growing up. I was quite a brat at the time, to be totally honest.
Sometimes, it’s not our boss who has the problem. It’s within us. A few talks with a mentor, fueled mostly by complaints about my “horrible boss,” led to a realization that I had to humble myself and really be open to feedback. I had to refocus on professionalism and remember the bottom line of what I was hired to do.
Now, if this isn’t the case, and your boss truly is being abusive, toxic, or indifferent toward you in some way, proceed to step 2.
2. Have a heart-to-heart with your manager. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
Keep it professional, sis. While you want to find out what might be behind the negative vibes you're getting from your boss, you don't want to put someone on the defense or give them the opportunity to gaslight you. If you don't already have scheduled one-on-ones with your supervisor, get on their calendar or invite them to have coffee on-site with you during a break. (I'm not a huge fan of meeting a manager or supervisor you think doesn't like you outside of the office. It's just a risky thing to do and could go left very quickly in terms of optics, potential for further drama, or even avoidable scandal.)
Let them know that it's important that you gain a bit of insight on your work and any areas of improvement. Again, shift the tone of the situation. Accept the possibility that you might be totally reading your boss wrong, or there might be a very valid reason you're getting less-than-favorable energy from them.
As a manager, I can attest to how we can sometimes be misunderstood. Someone might think I'm being "hard" on them when I'm really just trying to do my job. I might have even saved this particular person from the chopping block and, in those efforts, sought to help them improve. As a servant leader, I want the best for those I lead, whether I "like" them or not. Being a manager or supervisor isn't easy, and oftentimes people forget that. We're human, too.
Sometimes, managers are under an extreme amount of stress, so their interactions can be led by that. Maybe they're not so personable or "nice" because they really don't have the time or energy to be. That's not your fault, and it's no excuse for bad behavior, however, understanding this will inform how you approach solving a perceived problem.
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Some issues are tied to personality as well, so keep that in mind. I've always been an ambitious leader and a straight-shooter---whether a manager or otherwise---which can be off-putting to some. Sometimes I have to be more self-aware in my interactions with certain people and adjust, even if I don't agree with their perception of me. I don't always have to be "right" or always speak out assertively about something.
I can boldly lead without alienating other bold, leading personalities in the office or intimidating other more timid, introverted (but powerful) personalities as well. I wouldn't have known this had I not given a manager the opportunity to express this or at least had conversations with others to find out how I'm perceived.
During a one-on-one, I once told a manager that I don't like being micromanaged and that I'd spoken out of turn during a meeting because I had a passion for the subject matter. We came to a middle ground, and I was able to advance at that company. (I was even eventually added as a co-lead on an initiative.) Working with this person got so much easier after a simple, respectful conversation.
If you don't feel confident enough to have the conversation, that's okay, too. Do a mock run with a mentor, loved one, coach, or friend you trust and admire so you can prep for the real conversation.
3. Take the personal out and deal with the facts. Report to HR or other authorities if the situation calls for that.
If No. 2 hasn't led to a resolution, document tangible facts and actions that led to the conclusion that your boss doesn't like you. Have they been disrespectful, combative, or unprofessional when interacting with you? Have you been threatened? Are they taking credit for your work? Are they forcing you to work overtime without pay or guilting you into working after hours? Have you been overlooked to work on projects that you've clearly been hired to work on based on your job title and duties?
Of course, if you feel physically unsafe, disengage and take the appropriate legal or law enforcement-related action. But if it's an issue of a manager who is simply doing unnecessarily outrageous things at work that make your job harder and might stunt your career advancement, talk with a mentor or coach first to figure out the right plan of action.
Depending on your company's protocols, take your grievances to your human resources department, or your bosses' boss. Document instances of unprofessional behavior and how it actually impacts your work. Advocate for yourself. It might seem scary, but there needs to be a paper trail if things have gone too far.
I once was facing an issue with a boss I thought disliked me. She'd often be dismissive in her tone, avoided answering emails in a timely fashion, and even tried to get me fired behind my back. (I found out from another manager who I had a good relationship with.)
Once again, a mentor came in a clutch. This one was a banking executive who knew office politics all too well. "When you go to HR, don't lead with the problems. Ask them how you can best navigate and learn from the situation. Shift the tone. Then present what you've documented and tell them exactly how it impacts your actual work quality."
Well, it worked. Not only did the HR professional soften up a bit listening to my side of things, but she gave me some very useful tips on how to interact with my boss, who was new at the time. (Turns out, managing up was the solution, which I enjoyed because it actually gave me more leadership experience, which led to my own promotion years later.)
She also had a chat with my boss, and it clearly was a good one that didn't backfire on me. I ended up working under that manager for several years, and today, the professional is actually someone I admire. I learned a lot from working with her.
When The Problem's Simply Your Boss, Not You
Sometimes, it's not a specific issue, per se. Some workplace pairings are simply not a good fit, and no matter how great you are at what you do or how many times you've had one-on-ones with your manager, it's simply a lost cause. And that's okay. It's not a failure when you have to either transfer to a different department or leave a company altogether. It's a simple reality, and it happens to the best of us.
If this is the case, and you've exhausted all reasonable efforts to get clarity and resolve actual issues, it's time to put that exit plan together or simply quit. Trust that your steps are ordered and take that leap toward another dream company, career, or lifestyle that truly aligns with the greatness and fullness of life.
Nobody has time to waste trying to resolve conflicts that are pointless and counterproductive. Sometimes, you just have to let God have it and move on. I've witnessed several instances where walking away was the best option, and eventually, that particular manager was removed or forced to leave. Sometimes, people learn the hard way that they need mental health help, a lot more leadership training, or a pivot into a more fitting occupation, company, or role. It's not always about "fault" but about fit.
Thinking (or knowing) your boss dislikes you can be daunting, but you don't have to live with that dread every day. Confidently seek resolutions that not only affirm how great of a professional you are but also your own values connected to self-care, self-discovery, and self-realization in order to offer your best to the world.
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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As the self-proclaimed “concert queen,” I’ve danced my way through countless venues, basking in the euphoria that only live music can deliver.
From the heart-thumping bass of my favorite hip-hop anthems to the soulful serenades of R&B legends, my adventures have been a harmonious blend of rhythm, culture, and, of course, delectable cuisine. Each festival I’ve attended has been a unique chapter in my live music journey, offering not just performances but immersive experiences that celebrate art, community, and flavor.
Reflecting on my escapades, festivals like Rolling Loud, Roots Picnic, Essence Fest, and One Music Fest have been more than just events—they’ve been transformative odysseys.
The electrifying energy of the crowds, the discovery of emerging artists, and the shared moments of unity have solidified my love for these gatherings. They are living testaments to music’s unparalleled ability to bridge divides and foster a sense of belonging.
As 2025 unfolds, the festival circuit is buzzing with anticipation, promising an array of events that are sure to ignite your musical passions. Whether you’re a seasoned festival-goer or a curious newcomer, here’s a curated list of must-attend festivals that should be on your radar:
Rolling Loud California (Los Angeles, CA) - March 15-16, 2025
Sexyy Red
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Kicking off the festival season with a bang, Rolling Loud returns to Los Angeles, promising a weekend of unparalleled hip-hop performances. This year’s lineup is nothing short of spectacular, with headliners like A$AP Rocky and Playboi Carti set to ignite the stage. Adding a unique flair, Mexican sensation Peso Pluma joins as a special guest, bringing his distinctive sound to the mix.
Tickets are flying off the shelves, with General Admission passes starting at $179 and VIP options offering exclusive perks for $499. Set against the vibrant backdrop of Los Angeles, attendees can indulge in the city’s eclectic food scene, making this festival a feast for both the ears and the taste buds.
2025 Performers: A$AP Rocky, Playboi Carti, YG, Sexyy Red, Quavo, Gelo, Bossman Dlow, Peso Pluma
2024 Performers: Nicki Minaj, Post Malone, Future x Metro Boomin, YG & Tyga, Party Next Door, Summer Walker, Don Toliver, Bryson Tiller, Big Sean, Sexyy Red
Dreamville Festival (Raleigh, NC) - April 5-6, 2025
Curated by the legendary J. Cole, Dreamville Festival has swiftly become a beacon for hip-hop and R&B aficionados. Nestled in Raleigh’s scenic Dorothea Dix Park, the festival offers more than just music; it’s a celebration of community and culture. While the official 2025 lineup is under wraps, whispers in the wind suggest appearances by heavyweights, making this final edition a grand finale not to be missed.
Ticket options cater to various preferences, with General Admission passes and VIP packages that promise an elevated experience. Beyond the music, attendees can explore Raleigh’s burgeoning culinary scene, with the festival itself offering a smorgasbord of local delights.
2025 Performers: TBA
2024 Performers: SZA, 50 Cent, J. Cole, Nicki Minaj, J.I.D., Lil Yatchy, Schoolboy Q, Sexyy Red, Jeremiah, Rema, Jeezy, Monica, and more.
EmpowHER Festival (Los Angeles, CA) - May 10, 2025
Kehlani
Photo by Erika Goldring/WireImage
EmpowHER Festival isn’t just a festival; it’s a movement celebrating women’s empowerment, creativity, and artistry. Set in the heart of Los Angeles, this one-day extravaganza brings together female artists for a day of unforgetttable performances. While this is the inaugural festival, the incredible lineup includes trailblazers like Kehlani and Jazmine Sullivan making it a must-attend for those passionate about female empowerment.
Early bird General Admission (GA) tickets are currently available at a 20% discount, bringing the price to under $200. As the festival date approaches, ticket prices are expected to increase, so securing your spot early is recommended. For the most up-to-date ticket information and purchases, visit the official EmpowHER website or authorized ticket vendors.
2025 Performers: Kehlani, Jazmine Sullivan, Normani, Saweetie, Flo Milli, and more.
Roots Picnic (Philadelphia, PA) - May 31-June 1, 2025
Curated by the legendary Roots crew, Roots Picnic is a melting pot of music, culture, and activism. Having grooved my way through its vibrant atmosphere before, I can attest to its eclectic lineups that span genres from hip-hop to indie rock. The 2025 edition promises to uphold this tradition, with anticipated performances from both established and emerging artists.
Ticket information and lineup announcements are typically released closer to the event date. Philadelphia’s rich history and vibrant food scene further enhance the festival experience, offering attendees a chance to explore the city’s cultural landmarks and culinary offerings.
2025 Performers: D’Angelo, Meek Mill, Lenny Kravitz, GloRilla, Miguel, Tems, Latto, Kaytranada, Jeezy, Pusha T & 2 Chainz, Musiq Soulchild, The Roots, and more.
2024 Performers: Jill Scott, Lil Wayne, Nas, Victoria Monét, Gunna, Fantasia, Muni Long, Method Man & Redman, Scarface, Amerie, Sexyy Red, Babyface, Wale, Tyla, and more.
BET Experience (Los Angeles, CA) - June 5-8, 2025
Cardi B
Photo by Aaron J. Thornton/Getty Images for BET
The BET Experience is a multi-day celebration leading up to the annual BET Awards, featuring concerts, celebrity panels, and interactive exhibits. Held in Los Angeles, this event captures the essence of Black culture and entertainment.
Details about the 2025 lineup and ticket pricing are yet to be announced, but past experiences have included performances by top artists and exclusive access to industry events, making it a cornerstone event for music lovers.
2025 Performers: TBA
2024 Performers: Cardi B, Gunna, Davido, Sexyy Red, The Roots, Queen Latifah, Common, and more.
Essence Fest (New Orleans, LA) - July 3-6, 2025
Essence Fest, affectionately known as the “party with a purpose,” is a vibrant celebration of Black culture, music, and empowerment. My previous escapades at this festival were nothing short of magical, with its blend of soulful performances, enlightening panel discussions, and a community atmosphere that feels like a family reunion. The 2025 edition is expected to feature a stellar lineup of artists, though official announcements are pending.
Tickets typically range from General Admission to VIP packages, catering to a variety of preferences and budgets. Set in the lively city of New Orleans, attendees can also immerse themselves in the local culture, savoring Creole cuisine and exploring historic sites, making it a holistic cultural experience.
2025 Performers: TBA
2024 Performers: Birdman, Usher, Janet Jackson, The Roots, Mickey Guyton, Busta Rhymes, Charlie Wilson, Victoria Monét, SWV, Frankie Beverly, Tank, Ginuwine, Tyrese, and more.
Broccoli City Festival (Washington, D.C.) – July 12-13, 2025
Victoria Monét
Photo by Kaitlyn Morris/Getty Images
If you’re looking for a festival that brings the vibes and the vision, Broccoli City Festival is it! Taking over Washington, D.C., this two-day celebration is more than just a music festival—it’s a movement. Dedicated to uplifting Black culture, sustainability, and community empowerment, BC Fest blends fire performances with social impact, making you feel good inside and out.
The 2025 lineup is still under wraps, but if past years are any indication (think: Lil Wayne, Megan Thee Stallion, and Burna Boy), we’re in for a show. Plus, with D.C. as the backdrop, you already know the food is going to be top-tier. Expect local eats, poppin’ day parties, and a city full of festival-goers keeping the energy high all weekend long. Whether you’re there for the music, the mission, or just the chance to rock a fly festival fit, BC Fest is a must for your summer lineup.
2025 Performers: TBA
2024 Performers: Megan Thee Stallion, Victoria Monét, Gunna, Kaytranada, Party Next Door, Lil Yaychy, Teezo Touchdown, Fridayy, Skilla Baby, Sexyy Red, Key Glock, and more.
One Music Fest (Atlanta, GA) - October TBA, 2025
As an Atlanta native, One Music Fest holds a special place in my heart. This festival has consistently showcased a diverse array of artists, reflecting the rich musical heritage of the city. While the exact dates and lineup for 2025 are yet to be confirmed, past festivals have featured a mix of hip-hop, R&B, and alternative acts that cater to a wide audience.
Ticket pricing and performer details will be announced as the event approaches. In the meantime, festival-goers can look forward to exploring Atlanta’s dynamic food scene and cultural landmarks, making it a holistic experience that celebrates both music and community
2025 Performers: TBA
2024 Performers: Latto, Gunna, Earth, Wind, & Fire, Nelly, Victoria Monet, GloRilla, Keyshia Cole, Sexyy Red, Ari Lennox, Fantasia, Method Man & Redman, and more.
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