Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker are one of Hollywood’s sexiest couples and they have one of the most revered marriages. The couple met on the set of the TV series Soul Food and got married years later in 2005. They share two children, Sophie 17, and Nicholas 15, and have continued to be a positive example of what a healthy relationship looks like. In an interview with Essence, the Brown Sugar stars opened up about their family and how they’ve maintained their beautiful union.
One of the ways that their family stays connected is by having traditional family dinners. “Every night we have dinner together—-no phones, no nothing,” Boris said. “It’s just us cooking and then we’ll have dinner together. And we talk about everything. In the last three years with the various pandemics, it was important for us to connect and have that space and that time.”
Staying connected is important for the actors. They have often collaborated with one another on projects such as their short-lived talk show The Boris & Nicole Show and more recently the Lifetime movie Safe Space which Nicole starred and Boris directed. Outside of work, they also make sure to carve out time for just the two of them.
“We do lots of traveling. I think that’s been our love language. We travel so well together,” said Nicole. “And he’s from Germany and Ghana, so when the kids came, we were a traveling family. We would go to see their grandma and their grandfather. It was really part of our lives.”
“I think also, we’re trying to slowly–you might be the first to know this–do what they all say about that morning breath work together. We haven’t perfected it. It sometimes ends with laughing. It doesn’t have to be long, but we’re slowly trying to breathe together.”
Boris added, “My sister-in-law is a breath coach, Nicole Kodjoe. You can check her out on Instagram. She’s an amazing breath coach who’s taught us a lot about breathing and the healing properties of that.”
Breathing together is one of the ways they share intimacy. With their busy schedules, Boris acting, producing and directing, and Nicole joining the Sex and the City spin-off And Just Like That, they make it their mission to always find time for each other and that’s what makes their marriage work.
“I think that we are continuously evolving and getting to know each other even better. It’s trial by error. It’s putting effort in every single day, it’s work, but I found my person,” Boris admitted. “So there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do to share my life with her. So yeah, I think that that would be it. To continue to get to know each other better, more intimately, and deeper. And more joyfully as well.”
2003
Actress Nicole Ari Parker and actor Boris Kodjoe attend Showtime's Pre-Golden Globe Party on January 24, 2004.
Giulio Marcocchi/Getty Images
2004
Actors Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker attend the 2004 Black Entertainment Awards.
Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images
2006
Boris Kodjoe and wife Nicole Ari Parker at the Los Angeles premiere of 'Madea's Family Reunion.'
Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage
2007
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe
George Pimentel/WireImage for Classic Entertainment Group
2008
Nicole Ari Parker and husband actor Boris Kodjoe arrive at the unveiling of Tyler Perry Studios on October 4, 2008.
Moses Robinson/WireImage
2010
Jean Baptiste Lacroix/WireImage
2011
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe arrive at the 2011 InStyle And Warner Bros. 68th Annual Golden Globe Awards post-party.
Lester Cohen/WireImage
2013
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe attend BET's 'Real Husbands of Hollywood' Wrap Dinner at Xen Lounge.
Maury Phillips/Getty Images for BET
2014
Nicole Ari Parker Kodjoe and husband Boris Kodjoe arrive at the Premiere of Warner Bros. Pictures and IMAX Entertainment's 'Island Of Lemurs: Madagascar.'
Angela Weiss/Getty Images
2015
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe attend the 2015 BET Awards at the Microsoft Theater.
Earl Gibson/BET/Getty Images for BET
2016
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe, and Nicolas Neruda Kodjoe attend HollyRod Foundation's DesignCare Gala.
Tiffany Rose/Getty Images for HollyRod Foundation
2017
Nicole Ari Parker (L) and Boris Kodjoe attend the premiere of Sony Pictures' 'Smurfs: The Lost Village.'
David Livingston/Getty Images
2018
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe attend Rock The Runway presented by Children's Miracle Network Hospitals at Avalon.
Michael Tullberg/Getty Images
2021
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe attend HBO Max's 'And Just Like That' New York Premiere.
Jamie McCarthy/WireImage
2022
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe arrive at the amfAR Cannes Gala 2022.
Kevin Tachman/amfAR/Getty Images for amfAR
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Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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Feature image by @jorgemezaphotos
Body butter is the perfect creamy foundation for rich skin and its ingredients deeply moisturize our skin and allow moisture to last throughout the day. For those with sensitive skin, it's important to know your ingredients and what preservatives are present.
Despite the pros and cons, body butter can still be a great addition to your fall and winter skincare routine. It deeply soothes skin and protects against uncomfortable dryness, which can be great for keeping skin comfortable. We’ve compiled a list of highly recommended deep moisturizing creams to keep your skin supple this season.
The Best Body Butters For Hydrated Skin In 2024
Blended Speckle: Spot Body Butter
One spec of body butter can change your body's moisture barrier. Implementing the Speckle: Spot Body Butter is the first step to endless hydration. The product is formulated with three main ingredients: grapeseed oil, argan oil, and indica butter.
These ingredients are great for targeting dry skin, eczema, and dark spots, making them ideal for those who struggle with body acne. In addition to the incredible ingredient list, it’s also all-natural. Each product is intentionally formulated to give you the best hydration results.
hanahana beauty Limited Edition Glow Butter
Three girlfriends came together with a passion for helping others feel good in their skin. Together, they created the Glow Butter. This product is formulated to heal your skin so well that you get an illuminating glow. Shea, cocoa, and mango butter are blended to create a deep hydration without feeling sticky.
Palo santo, santal, oud, and rose are added to this product’s ingredient list, making it a profound healing experience. This perfectly formulated body butter will elevate your hydration game.
Naturium The Glow Getter Multi-Oil Body Butter
If you’re looking for a knockout butter that will moisturize your skin, look no further. The Naturium Glow Getter Multi-Oil Body Butter is a triple-threat body butter created with supple oils. Rich in sativa, coconut, and safflower oil, it will deeply penetrate your pores and enhance moisture throughout the day.
This is also due to the product's peptides and shea butter ingredients, which are famously known for locking in hydration. Once the moisture sets in, you can also enjoy the addicting vanilla scent of this yummy blend.
Fenty Skin Butta Drop
Fenty Skin
Queen Rihanna has never stirred us in the wrong direction regarding music, fashion, makeup, and skincare. Her body butter, Butta Drop, is a perfect example of a well-made product by the queen herself! The clean product is made with seven oils, shea butter, and glycerin. In short, this iconic ingredient list guarantees your skin will glow. It's made to restore skin vibrancy and suppleness, helping you keep that summer glow all year.
OUAI St. Barts Moisturizing Body Butter
OUAI
Known for their incredible body scrubs, OUAI moisturizing body creams are a must-have addition to your body care routine. Its combination of coconut oil and cupuacu butter makes this product perfect for all-day hydration. Cupuacu butter is found in northern Brazil and is especially good for penetrating the skin quickly and retaining moisture. This ingredient is also great for those who prefer water-based products with preservatives.
Kopari Tahitian Vanilla Ultra Restore Body Butter
Kopari
Who doesn’t love a yummy vanilla scent during the cozy holiday months? Kopari’s body butter will make you feel like a snack all season. Its incredible scent is combined with coconut oil, mango seed butter, and pear flower extract—which is kind to acne-prone skin. We no longer have to choose between smooth skin and breakout prevention!
Thankfully, this body butter honors both needs while making our skin feel good. It’s our top pick for those with sensitive skin who want to indulge.
Primally Pure Almond + Vanilla Body Butter
Primally Pure
Calling all my natural girlies! This body product may be for you. Primally, body butter is naturally made with rich almond and vanilla to give us an organic hydrating experience. The brand firmly believes in less is more and carries this mission in its ingredient list, using primarily shae butter, almond extract, mango butter, and vanilla extract. These factors make it great for combating stretch marks and soothing sunburn or cracked skin.
OSEA Undaria Algae Body Butter
OSEA
This might be your product if you want to hold on to those beach summer memories. The Undaria Algar Body Butter by OSEA is a taste of the sea in body butter. It is rich in Undaria seaweed, making you feel beachside. A healthy amount of ceramides and shea butter also join this product, making it rich in long-lasting moisture. This product targets dryness and enriches our memories of summer forever.
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