What are we here for? During the hustle and bustle of life, it's so easy to forget that we're all here for a reason. I know for me, the word "purpose" can get so intimidating that it creates pressure to discover what ours actually is, instead of realizing that we could very well be doing it already.
It's almost like clockwork to find ourselves comparing our lives and destinies to others in hopes of trying to pinpoint what we're meant to do. If you're on the path to self-discovery, or on the search for your purpose, these books could help you put the pieces together.
*This list is specially curated by the xoNecole team and some links are affiliate links. If you purchase an item from an affiliate link, xoNecole might earn a small commission.
'The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For?' by Rick Warren
This is a classic and will always be an oldie but goodie. It goes beyond providing you with suggestions of what your purpose could be and encourages you to answer thought-provoking questions to make sure that you're living life driven by your purpose and not something, or someone, else. The bonus is that it has 40 chapters, one for each day, so you don't get overwhelmed or stagnant.
'Be Unapologetically You: A Self Love Guide for Women of Color' by Adeline Bird
Sis did something special with this one. It can be so easy for us to apologize for being amazing, strong, and bold, and to just wish that we were something or someone else. I love this book because it pushes us to be our best selves, and to do it unapologetically. It inspires readers to dismiss the excuses and start making moves toward what we really want out of life. And it all starts with self-love. If you're on that journey, this is a must-read.
‘Crushing’ by T.D. Jakes
Grab a tissue and get ready to discover what you were created for. T.D. Jakes shows us in such a compelling way how we can use life's biggest disappointments, setbacks, and unexpected curveballs to our advantage. Through the pruning process of letting our disadvantages make us better, we have the potential to unearth not just the purpose of things that could have knocked us out, but the reason for our life in general.
'Girl, Wash Your Face' by Rachel Hollis
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It's no secret there can be a ton of mess and detours on this path of self-discovery and uncovering our purpose. This book by Rachel Hollis literally clears out all of the mess and makes room for who we were created to be. It speaks on 20 lies (many that we've already told ourselves) that have kept us from living our best life to the fullest and then unearths the truth of who we really are, preparing us to embrace and use the abilities that we truly possess.
‘The Purpose Room: A Meeting Place Where You Discover, Birth And Accomplish Your God-Given Purpose’ by Heather Lindsey
Sometimes the question isn't what our purpose is, but how we're going to get there. The journey doesn't necessarily get easier just because we know where the finish line is, but this book motivates us during the race when we might be tempted to ease into another lane that's not meant for us. It encourages readers to stay the course in every stage of our purpose from discovery to fulfillment and beyond.
‘Restless: Because You Were Made For More’ by Jennie Allen
I can testify that this book lives up to the hype. I borrowed it from a friend years ago and I'm ashamed to say she has yet to get it back. The book itself empowers us to not just recognize our gifts and passions but to use them daily, realizing that we have them for a reason. Whatever it is you feel that you might be missing can be discovered through this book. Plus, there's a workbook that helps us tap into our purpose in a way we can't deny.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
