One look at Blue Kimble, and your mind may instantly play Trey Songz's "Panty Droppa" from his 2009 Ready album. However, what many may not know is that there's a lot more to him underneath those rock-hard abs and pearl-like smile of his - and I don't mean from the waist down.
Prior to his acting career, the born and raised ATLien played in the NFL with the Buffalo Bills (which would definitely explain his solid stature). Once he began to pursue acting wholeheartedly, Blue's resume stacked up as he appeared in shows and movies including The Game, Being Mary Jane, Fast and Furious 5, and TVOne's The Bobby DeBarge Story alongside Adrian Marcel. Just two short years ago, Blue starred in UMC's drama series Monogamy. And this year, he's added a starring role in television's newest drama series, P-Valley(which airs on Starz on Sunday nights at 9 p.m).
When first connecting with the 34-year-old heartthrob, his deep, warm voice embraced me with positive energy and light-heartedness as we exchanged stories about where we're currently located and how our mental health is being maintained amidst all that's happening during this time. As an actor, model, and former pro athlete, you can imagine that Blue must have women flocking to him, but according to the leading man, he's still looking for his leading lady and his DMs are open, accepting applications.
The eye candy who also happens to be soul food (you hear that, ladies?) talked to xoNecole about his favorite strip clubs, his trials and fears in love, and how he's willing to climb any mountain to help his woman reach her 'peak'. Here's what he had to say.
*Some answers have been edited for length and clarity.
xoNecole: Tell us about 'P-Valley', which is the highly anticipated stripper drama on Starz. How was the filming experience and what were some of the greatest things that you learned?
Blue Kimble: Wow, P-Valley coming to Starz. The stripper drama, like you said (laughs). First, off the bat, there's nothing on TV like that right now giving you an up-close, raw, direct look into the life that goes on in the strip culture and some Southern culture. It's just a taste of Southern culture - raw [and] gritty within a strip club. Katori Hall, the creator - she is a genius, award-winning playwright. The honor to work with her and the cast is amazing.
My character, Rome, he's a Southern hustler and former drug dealer turned music exec. We know that story has been heard and told a lot within the music industry (laughs), so I was just able to put my real spin on it from actual accounts and my Southern heritage and culture came out in the role. It was a blessing to pay homage to all that. I really like it and I know people are going to gravitate towards this a lot, and I can't wait for y'all to see it.
How would you say, if at all, you relate to your character?
Like I said, he's a Southern hustler, gentleman, [and] businessman - those are some of the things that I have grown up around and had a foundation of, being from the South, being from Atlanta. It's a culture. Every city has their own type of lingo, type of swag, type of attractions, and raw. Just like a street cat from New York is not gonna sound like a hustler from Atlanta, Tennessee, Alabama or Mississippi. Just to be able to pay homage and pull from real-life accounts, it was an honor.
When it comes to relationships, how do you balance your career, time for your significant other and time for yourself? I’m pretty sure as an actor, it’s already hard enough to find time to be on your own, so how do you balance that with the person you’re dating?
Look at you with more good questions. Jeez, you are on it. The industry is a difficult thing to handle within itself. When I fell into it after I transitioned from football, this was a whole new world, but a lot of it had the same connections with me as playing sports. Athletes get a bad rap and stereotypes within relationships, so to come from that and go right into my film career - which started afterwards and I was blessed to fall into - it's some of the same stereotypes. For some of the relationships that I've tried to have, it was hard for my significant other to just fathom the time that I would be away or what I was doing.
It takes a lot of understanding and time; sometimes I can make someone jealous. Not about what I'm doing or who I am or what I'm aspiring to become - jealous of the time that I'm not there to give the woman in my life. That has been a balance that I've been figuring out. Now I'm even older, wiser, more mature and I'm looking for all that. I'm still looking and searching. I'm not saying that I'm flipping over every rock in town looking for my queen, but when she reveals herself to me, I will be ready, willing and accepting.
"I'm still looking and searching. I'm not saying that I'm flipping over every rock in town looking for my queen, but when she reveals herself to me, I will be ready, willing and accepting."
Courtesy of Blue Kimble
How can you tell the difference between women who genuinely want you for you or just the clout and the attention that comes from being with you?
That's a good word that you used - genuine. You took it right out of my mouth. I try to surround myself with genuine people. You can only play and fool somebody for so long and the truth will always reveal itself. Who you really are is gonna come out; you can only play that you're genuine for an hour or two (laughs). The truth will seep out, leak out and reveal itself. I pay attention to those types of things and I try to keep myself around grounded people, people with like-minded energy and people who aren't going to use me or sponge me for my good energy.
That's what people gotta understand not just within relationships, but life period. Stop letting people drain you for your worth, your goodness, your light or your energy because that's what a lot of people are - they're leeches for the light, for the sun, for the good energy. Watch it and protect your energy.
This is a fun personal question for me because you’re an actor. Do you ever try to get into character for the bedroom with role playing?
Look at you with all the good questions (laughs). I'm a facilitator when I'm with the women that I'm with and my job is to please her. Whatever it takes to please her and get her to where she gotta go, that's what we're doing. If she wants me to put on a Superman costume, I'm doing it if that's what's gonna get her to the moon. Whatever it takes.
How can you say that your acting skills and your views on relationships have evolved from the beginning of your career to where you are now?
In the beginning of my career, I was younger, and I tend to grow daily - mentally, physically, spiritually. I'm definitely more mature than I was in my craft, acting, and delivering as well as I am within life, learning and relationships. Not saying that I was ever intentionally being a jerk or a bad person (laughs), because I try to be a good person as much as I can. But I still grow within my understanding of my actions and the actions of the people I'm around. I'm still learning and growing right now. When you stop growing, that's when you die. I don't ever wanna stop learning and I'm looking forward to some significant woman to come around and teach me some more. Come teach me, girl!
Do you think you’ll ever find true love one day? If so, what does true love look like for you and what do you look for in a partner, for all of the women who are about to submit their resumes to you?
Wow, you really think I'm about to get a lot of resumes. You really think it's about to go down like that? With myself and the woman I'm with, I like confidence. Show your confidence because confidence leads to sexiness and your sex appeal. Those are always good things and things that men will gravitate to in their significant other because at the end of the day, it's about attraction. You have to attract someone before you can see how much you can grow together and see if you have that bond. I'm open - my heart and mind are open.
Yeah, I do think that I will find that love that you spoke of. Now, I'm not gonna force it; a lot of people do that and try to force love. When it comes and reveals itself, I'm gonna be ready for it and I'm gonna receive it. All the ladies, or potential suitors like you said, that's putting their resumes out there - hopefully, I do. With my family, my mother and my father are still together; they've been married before I was born and they're still together and still in love. That's what love looks like to me [and] I know what love looks like. I'm a Black man that comes from a family that has embodied love.
With that being said, I also know what fake love is. Show me that real love. Like you said, I need genuine people around me. Do not come around me with that fake love. 2020 is all about 'real'. We need that real love going forward; 2020, no more fake love! People [have] been showing us fake love for a long time now. Reveal your truth.
"With myself and the woman I'm with, I like confidence. Show your confidence because confidence leads to sexiness and your sex appeal. Those are always good things and things that men will gravitate to in their significant other because at the end of the day, it's about attraction. You have to attract someone before you can see how much you can grow together and see if you have that bond. I'm open - my heart and mind are open."
Courtesy of Blue Kimble
So, what are some things that attract you to a woman initially?
You're cheating. You're not supposed to ask me about that. You're trying to get me in trouble.
Man, look, I’m just doing my job. I’m not, I promise.
I like a woman's smile - the smile does a lot, and the eyes. Because everyone else is gonna say body features like shapes, thighs, butts, chest and this, that and the other, but that only goes so far. When you get down to the eyes and the smile, that's when you're able to tell what's real and genuine about her. The eyes never lie.
What are your dating non-negotiables and how does it differ from when you’re casually dating a woman versus when you’re trying to be serious?
Like I said, I'm pretty open, but anyone who's disrespectful, I don't deal with. I don't like disrespect in any fashion, and not just towards me. Just that type of energy that you bring and that also relates to some negativity. I'm a very positive person and I like to keep positive people and energy around me. Disrespect and anyone going out of their way to be disrespectful - I just can't. I don't care how pretty you are or attractive you are, nastiness overrides all of that. I'm open and try to figure out and understand any and everything, but someone who's just trifling and disrespectful, I can't allow that.
You mentioned that understanding is a huge foundational element for you when it comes to relationships. What are some other important qualities that make a successful relationship for you?
Definitely communication and good communication comes from understanding. Once you're on a level of understanding amongst both of you, that's the growth and you will have reached that level and those bonds that are unbreakable. I just feel like a lot of people rush into relationships of titles and status without having a level of understanding between them and not even being friends.
Before you try to build with someone in that type of fashion, definitely like a relationship long-term, I feel that you need to be friends first before you can become anything else and people don't establish a friendship. The person you're in love with is supposed to be your best friend. Be in a relationship with your best friend - it's not a business arrangement. That's the genuine bond and that's what you have to establish to make longevity.
"The person you're in love with is supposed to be your best friend. Be in a relationship with your best friend - it's not a business arrangement. That's the genuine bond and that's what you have to establish to make longevity."
Courtesy of Blue Kimble
Lights on or light off - and why?
You almost made me spit my water out (laughs). There's levels to that. Like I said, when I'm with someone, I do what pleases them. If my partner prefers the lights off and candles and that type of vibe, then that's what we're doing. But if she likes the lights on and she wanna look and she wanna be able to see everything and check it out, then we'll do that too (laughs)! I like to look and see what's going on, personally. I'm gonna do whatever my partner needs to get her to the mountain top.
'P-Valley' is embedded in the world of strip culture, so it would be very remiss of me to not ask you what are your top three favorite strip clubs?
Everybody else wouldn't know them. That's Atlanta talk - I'm from Atlanta, so the world may not know. You have to understand that Atlanta is enriched in strip club culture and Atlanta has the most strip clubs per capita, at least that's what I've been told and it's hard for me not to believe. We have strip clubs on every corner downtown (laughs). We've always had a stripper culture. I went to my first strip club when I was about fourteen or fifteen years old.
[In] Atlanta, you gotta check out the Blue Flame, that's an Atlanta staple; Magic City, another Atlanta staple. See, there's this throwback for real Atlanta people - Club Nikki's. Club Nikki's was the spot and they shut it down; it's been shut down forever, but the building is still up.
Speaking of strip clubs and strippers, if the woman in your life was to surprise you with a lap dance, what’s the song to get you in the perfect mood?
I would probably be more excited about those things. I wouldn't care if she's doing it in silence (laughs). The song that's gonna get me in the mood and not her freaky stripper outfit…
Songs are important. You don’t want your stripper giving you a dance to The Jackson 5’s “ABC”, now would you?
Yeah, so what song do we need? (laughs). TLC, how 'bout that? That's a good one? "Red Light Special".
I like that. I’ll accept that answer.
That's a good one. The Tank song, "When We".
His song “Dirty” is a good one, too.
There you go. TLC for the old heads, Tank's "When We" for the young people and my young girls to show them some love.
For more of Blue, follow him on Instagram. Catch him on Starz's P-Valley on Sunday nights at 9pm.
Featured image courtesy of Blue Kimble.
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At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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Featured image by Anchiy/Getty Images
Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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Feature image by PeopleImages/ Getty Images