The Stonewall Uprising in Manhattan has been dubbed the catalyst for creating change for the LGBTQ+ community. Over 50 years ago, the queer community at Stonewall Inn decided they had enough of police harassment and they decided to fight back like never before. With bottles, coins, and stones, they literally fought for their civil and human rights — enough was enough. It wasn’t the first time this occurred but there was something different about this riot on June 28, 1969. From then on, the last Sunday in June was celebrated as “Gay Pride Day” and it became a month-long galvanization that we now know as Pride Month.
Pride Month is more than rainbow flags, discounts, and corporate sponsorships. It’s about honoring a community that deserves celebration because love is love. The Library of Congress says, “The purpose of the commemorative month is to recognize the impact that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals have had on history locally, nationally, and internationally.” And for queer, Black folx it means truly acknowledging intersectionality. To honor some of those beautiful beings, we asked Black queer womxn what Pride means to them, how they show up as their full selves, and what we can do to better celebrate this community during June.
Pronouns: She, Her
Bridgette Young and her wife Veronica Paige
Courtesy of Bridgette Young
What Pride Month means to her:
Pride Month means the celebration of everyone who is like me who embraces a different sexual orientation separate from traditional standards. It’s a time for me to reflect on the community that has fought for the opportunities we currently have--such as marriage and protection from discrimination, although we still have work to do. Consequently, Pride month is a time to cultivate processes and pathways to enable and maintain longevity and continuous progress in the Black queer community.
Finally, visibility and the opportunity to shine at our full potential in personal and professional settings are key elements to success; because when we are loved, accepted, and respected— then we can truly be our authentic selves and rise to excellence.
What she loves most about being Black and queer:
Being Black and queer is truly a beautiful thing. Even though I was born and raised in Jamaica in a multicultural home, I was driven by the strength I saw in my mother and sisters. This motivated me to be a very strong and independent individual who thrives for success in all my endeavors and to be proud of who I am even with my differences.
I feel a sense of power and boldness embodied in immense creativity within our community. The Miami Black Pride Community is close-knit and supportive of the community’s accomplishments. This is something to be delighted and grateful for because support sometimes can be staggering.
How she celebrates Pride Month and makes it her own:
I make Pride Month my own by being more impactful with my visibility. I do this by participating in Pride Month activities at work, attending Pride Month events with my wife Veronica Paige, and living my truth by being my unapologetic authentic self. Last month, on May 24, 2022, Veronica and I got married. We have numerous publications covering our journey to marriage both locally in the U.S. and internationally.
As a multi-racial lesbian woman in America with Jamaican heritage, the intent is to create a platform through exposure and advocate for those who may be considering a similar journey as well as educate the audience who might lack understanding.
What she would like to see change about the celebration of Pride:
Even though we have celebrated many victories in the U.S., there is still lots of work to be done. There are still countless people within our community that face discrimination daily. Threats to queer life don’t have to be deadly, even though many times they are. They also include denied access to employment and healthcare, and forbidden acknowledgment and support to youth in schools. Minority groups are most affected, and frequently they are shunned by their families and end up homeless. The rejection within our community often leads to mental issues causing drug use and depression which is a cause of concern that need to be assessed and addressed.
Also, corporate America should do a better job at standing with the LGBTQ+ community-- not only during Pride Month but all 12 months of the year as active allies. Corporate companies are visible during Pride Month with market-focused ad campaigns and merchandising for profit. However, impactful support is needed in advocating for the queer community to protect our rights against politicians and states who are implementing laws to silence our community in schools and at work i.e. “Don’t Say Gay." Despite the current political climate, I have never seen a more enlightened and nurturing queer community. We are finally lifting as we carry, and I am honored to be a part of this community and to continue the work.
"Threats to queer life don’t have to be deadly, even though many times they are. Minority groups are most affected, and frequently they are shunned by their families and end up homeless. The rejection within our community often leads to mental issues causing drug use and depression which is a cause of concern that need to be assessed and addressed."
Poet, Singer, Songwriter
Pronouns: All
Courtesy of Kerrie Joy
What Pride Month means to them:
It means a month of reflection, remembrance, and mourning. It means rainbows, colorful store aisles, and bold expression. It means facing fears, counting blessings, and kicking down doors. It means coming outs, second chances, and firmer boundaries. I mean, these things happen daily but I do believe we become more hyper-aware and hyper-focused on them during this month. More than anything, this month, I do challenge myself a bit more to walk with my head higher, to be less apologetic, and to truly exist in Pride.
What they love most about being Black and queer:
The love, joy, and comfort that comes with being myself, unapologetically.
How they celebrate and make it their own:
I think it’s vital to celebrate all of the time. I stay in my pockets of dope, Black queer womxn where we see each other and validate each other because the world around us tends to find ways to erase us. So I surround myself with dope Black womxn and we celebrate every moment we can.
What they would like to see change about the celebration of Pride:
In general, I’d love to see the stories of Black, brown, and Indigenous people being centered in national Pride events, conversations, legislation, etc. The reality of intersectionality and compounded marginalization requires that we focus on those who have been closest to oppression. We don’t tend to practice that on a national level with Pride. We don’t really see it locally either. However, I do see certain people trying. I was happy to see when Pride in Denver moved its weekend because of Juneteenth.
But then again, that should already be one of the most celebrated moments of liberation in this country. Either way, we definitely have work to do if our Black queer and trans women are still one of the most targeted populations with personal and systemic violence. Until their worlds are safe, it’s impossible that any of ours truly could be. You should go out of your way to give love, reparations, and/or honor to a Black girl today. It’ll bless you.
"The reality of intersectionality and compounded marginalization requires that we focus on those who have been closest to oppression. We don’t tend to practice that on a national level with Pride. Either way, we definitely have work to do if our Black queer and trans women are still one of the most targeted populations with personal and systemic violence. Until their worlds are safe, it’s impossible that any of ours truly could be."
Content Creator for the LGBTQ and Body Positivity communities
Pronouns: She, Her
Courtesy of Kyanna Alexandra
What Pride Month means to her:
When I think of what Pride Month means to me, I think of freedom and the power it brings to myself and everyone else who is celebrating this Pride season, whether they're out or not. Pride to me means that I can present myself in any way that I see fit that is true to me, as well as a reminder that we as LGBTQ people are still fighting for basic human rights. We're constantly in a battle and at war with people who don't understand how queer people live, nor do they wish to accept us. So Pride Month as a whole is a constant reminder that we still have work to do, no matter how much progress has been made. I also feel a sense of entitlement, and I'm not sure where that comes from, but I know when June first rolls around, I know it's all about me and the LGBTQ community, and how we as queer people make this world a happier place simply by being ourselves. Also, we party the best.
What she loves most about being Black and queer:
What I love most about being Black and queer is the uniqueness that it brings and the diversity that comes with it. While I know that both are celebrated and hated in some spaces, it doesn't stop me from feeling powerful and in charge of myself. There's something rich and undyingly beautiful about being Black and a woman. My Blackness is powerful, it commands rooms and it puts fear in people who see Black as a threat. In the same breath, my queerness is fun and exciting. It's the extra cherry on top when people see my Black ass walk into a room, and to announce that I'm queer is exhilarating because I know it's another layer for people to understand and educate themselves about me and how I represent myself within both identities.
How she celebrates Pride Month and makes it her own:
When I celebrate Pride, I celebrate the entire month of June so hard and so fiercely that come July 1, I'm tired but in a good way. Pride Month is a great time for me to connect with other LGBTQ content creators, a way to attend parties that cater to the LGBTQ community and of course, attend the multiple parades across the state. But aside from attending parties and parades, I also like to attend events where queer people are the focus, such as panels, mixers, and networking functions. Being involved in the community and taking advantage of the hundreds of get-togethers that one can attend or get invited to is a way where I make Pride my own.
What she would like to see change about the celebration of Pride:
There are a couple of things that I would like to see changed when it comes to the celebration of Pride. One of the biggest things that annoy me, and probably a lot of other people, is the rainbow capitalism that happens rapidly throughout the last week of May. Companies rush to push out their Pride merchandise, of course, in hopes that LGBTQ consumers purchase them, but I can't help to believe that if a company isn't genuine about celebrating LGBTQ people 365 days out of the year, then I find the acts performative and leech-worthy to make a quick buck from the community.
The second thing that I feel needs to change is a bit more specific and comes within the content creation. Companies want to show their inclusivity by hiring us to promote their brand/business during Pride Month, but want to pay us in product and not for our time in creating the piece of content with a list of deliverables. Furthermore, companies undercut us as LGBTQ creators by not paying us our worth. It's things like these that create a gap between members of the LGBTQ community and those that are not. We are human, and we deserve to be paid as such and not any lesser due to the category we fall into.
We all get to celebrate Pride in whatever way we deem fit. No matter what happens, no matter what we go through in life, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I thought I would never get the chance to see the day when I go to Pride events and parties and meet people within the community because I didn't know where to start. I am the first and only person in my family to be a member of the LGBTQ community, and after what I have been through with my mother disowning me, it's days like these I thought I would never see, and I appreciate them the most.
"There's something rich and undyingly beautiful about being Black and a woman. My Blackness is powerful, it commands rooms and it puts fear in people who see Black as a threat. In the same breath, my queerness is fun and exciting. It's the extra cherry on top when people see my Black ass walk into a room, and to announce that I'm queer is exhilarating."
Pronouns: She, Her
Courtesy of JasandTee
What Pride Month means to JasandTee:
To us, Pride means so much more than a celebration, it's more than rainbows and parades. Pride is something we all have inside us. It's a way of life. It's our journeys, our past, and our future. Pride is who we are or who we ought to be. Most people aren't fully comfortable with who they are. If you spend 11 months not feeling comfortable or aligned within yourself, let the month of June be the one month you get out there and celebrate yourself, your boldness, your queerness, your rights, and your purpose. Pride is the voice for the ones who can't find their own.
What they love most about being Black and queer:
Being Black and queer is our identity and it makes us so proud to know how supple our ancestors were. What we love most about being Black and queer is the fact that we get to be a positive representation of what love looks like. Growing up, Black love wasn’t something you saw advertised. In fact, in most cases, most movies or shows reflected dysfunction within the Black community and Black households. Being able to love out loud is one of the best things that happened to us. Hiding our true selves is a form of dysfunction. Today, we are breaking that cycle by living in our truth. By being unapologetically Black and queer.
How they celebrate Pride Month and make it their own:
Jas and I celebrate Pride by going to some of our favorite stores like Target and Old Navy to shop their Pride collection. We also like to go to our local Pride events with some of our closest friends.
What they would like to see change about the celebration of Pride:
We would like to see more heterosexual people celebrate Pride. You don’t have to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community to celebrate queer individuals. We say this because most people can attest to knowing someone who is queer and no matter their place in your life they should be celebrated. Choosing to stay silent in fear of association isn’t much of a celebration.
Being content creators has allowed us to tap into advocacy. Having a platform has also allowed us to connect with more people than ever before. Hearing all the stories and watching the growth of our followers has inspired us to continue to be a voice in our LGBTQ+ community. Our goal is to be able to reach people all over the world. This entire journey has been eye-opening. We realized how much exclusion and discrimination the LGBTQ+ community face on a daily basis.
"What we love most about being Black and queer is the fact that we get to be a positive representation of what love looks like. Being able to love out loud is one of the best things that happened to us. Hiding our true selves is a form of dysfunction. Today, we are breaking that cycle by living in our truth. By being unapologetically Black and queer."
Community Builder, Radio Host, Social Media Guru, DJ
Pronouns: She, Her
Courtesy of Demi Harvey
What Pride Month means to her:
Pride Month is a celebration of life, love, community, and resistance. It’s an opportunity to live life to the fullest and share in that joy with others.
What she loves most about being Black and queer:
My uniqueness! My experience is one of a kind. It’s a blending of cultures. It is everything.
How she celebrates and makes Pride Month her own:
I love trying new things, visiting new spaces, and meeting new people so I make a point of that every Pride. Expanding my horizons and getting out of my comfort zone.
What she wants to see change about the celebration of Pride:
I want my people to feel safe and free to be themselves. There’s lots of ways in which that is challenged at national Pride celebrations, but I want queer people to know that there is community out there for you beyond national Pride celebrations.
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Featured image courtesy of Kyanna Alexander
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
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My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
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Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
And that is why, while I was recently out in cyberspace seeing what the topic of sex had to offer (of merit), a particular study especially caught my attention. The reason why is because, while the topic of faking orgasms has been explored, pretty much ad nauseam at this point, what I haven’t personally seen a lot and enough of is how to stop them from happening so much and when people do them, what personally caused them to in the first place.
Today, we’re going to strive to get down to the root of some of those queries. And so, if you’ve always been curious about how to make the cycle of faking orgasms stop, this piece just might shed a little light. Here’s hoping anyway, chile.
Faking Orgasms. Why I Loathe It So.
GiphyDo you ever stop to think about certain songs from back in the day and wonder if they were released now, would people try to cancel them (hmph, as if this culture ever really cancels anybody for really anything, right?)? An example of what I mean is Alexander O’Neal’s song, “Fake”. If you’re too young to know it, or it’s been a while since you’ve heard it, feel free to go back and listen to the lyrics in order to grasp where I am coming from.
And why am I bringing it up in the context of today’s conversation? Well, whenever I think about folks faking orgasms, that song almost instantly plays in the background of my mind because, while he’s basically talking about the word from the definition of “to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc.,” when I think of “faking it” in a sexual way, definitions like “to deceive,” “to pretend” and “anything made to appear otherwise than it actually is” are what I ponder — because y’all, I don’t care how many people do it, how can any of those definitions truly be good, right or helpful when it comes to copulation? Deceiving your partner into thinking that you climaxed when you actually didn’t? Pretending to be satisfied when you actually aren’t? Making sex appear like it’s one kind of experience for you when it actually…isn’t? SMDH. Yeah, that is something that I can never personally get behind, which is why I once penned, “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” for the platform. To me, since sex is about establishing a profound mental, emotional, and physical connection, how can that truly and authentically happen if one or both involved individuals are not being honest with each other about what they want, need and desire in order to make that happen?
Yeah, when it comes to the ever so popular fake orgasms, I’ll pass and will forever encourage others to do the same.
Faking Orgasms. Why So Many People Do It.
GiphyHere’s what’s wild, though — even if what I just said made complete and total sense to you, there’s still a really good chance that you’ve faked at least one orgasm before (check out “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”). Know what else? There’s also a good chance that your partner has done the same (check out “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed)”. And why is it that so many continue to do it, even if, in the back of their mind, they believe that it’s at least somewhat counterproductive?
Well, from the personal conversations (and coaching sessions) that I’ve had with both men and women, the top reason for why so many men fake orgasms is because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings by telling them that the sex isn’t as good as they might think that it is, and when it comes to women, they fake in order to hurry up and get the experience over with — which, when you really think about it, for both genders, the motives are pretty much two sides of the same coin: people not being satisfied and trying to avoid sharing that reality with their partner.
OK, butwhat does science say is the main cause for men and women faking it? Well, a top reason for whya lot of men decide to go that route is because they simply want to get the experience over with (although being unable to orgasm due to drunkenness, medication, and/or boredom ranked pretty highly, too). And women? Difficulty achieving an orgasm is the biggest one (check out “How Can You Know For Sure That You've Had An Orgasm?” and “Ladies, Please Stop Pressuring Yourself Over Vaginal Orgasms”). Hmph, when I stop to take this all in, I find both reasons to be unfortunate. On the male tip, is it just me, or does it seem like there is a real disconnect of intimacy if that is why men fake it? What I mean by that is, if you’d rather “hurry up and get done” — are you having sex with your partner or at your partner (some of y’all will catch that later)? And, as far as the ladies go, if you are so uncomfortable and/or self-conscious and/or embarrassed about not being able to climax to the point that you will lie and say that you did — do you trust your partner enough to tell him the truth and then are you willing to work through the process of achieving an orgasm…together?
These types of questions are what piqued my curiosity when I happened upon a study of over 11,000 participants that transpired over in the UK. The focal point of it? Since faking orgasms is so prevalent, what actually causes people to stop? Because listen, none of us are actually going to get anywhere if we only focus on the problem and don’t seek to find some sort of solution (lawd).
Faking Orgasms. What Actually Makes People Stop.
GiphyOK, so from what I’ve read and researched, The Journal of Sex Research hassemi-recently published the study that I was just referring to. Before we get into what caused people to stop lying — umm, faking orgasms, check out these findings first:
·51 percent of participants claimed to have never faked an orgasm before
·Close to 66 percent of men and 34 percent of women say that they have faked an orgasm
·Almost 19 percent of men and 35 percent of women say that although they have faked one in the past, they have since stopped
·Almost nine percent of men and 20 percent of women are currently “faking it”
Yeah, I already know. The discrepancies between the men and women are quite noticeable. Let’s keep going, though, because the reason for why men and women decided to stop is the main reason why we’re all here — plus, it’s pretty interesting.
So, when it comes to the demographic of individuals who no longer fake it, what brought them to that point and place? Fascinatingly enough, around 26 percent of both men and women said that the communication between them and their partner improved while 24 percent of both men and women said that it was because their partner became more attentive. Well looka there — when couples connected on a mental and emotional level, the physical aspect of sex got better. Some other points did come into play, though:
·Around 29 percent of women and 25 percent of men decided to be content without having an orgasm
·Around 19 percent of men and 18 percent of women decided to get orgasms on their own (i.e., masturbate)
·Around 19 percent of men and (wow) two percent of women were caught faking it
·Around 15 percent of men and 10 percent are currently not having sex
OK, so when you read all of that, what tripped you out the most? As someone who works with married couples and is a huge advocate of them gettingthe most pleasure possible out of their sexual experiences, honestly, the first three (because, if you are married, please don’t settle fora sexless dynamic). I’ll break down why for each one.
First, if you used to fake orgasms and no longer do because you have settled for — pardon the pun — anti-climatic copulation…settling is exactly what you are doing. Listen, even if you’re not able to achieve a vaginal orgasm (and many women are not), it’s important to remember that there are oh so many other kinds to choose from (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”). And what if you’ve tried those and still there are nofireworks? Make an appointment to see your doctor (to get your hormone levels checked) and/or a sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). Remember, the reason whyyou have a clitoris is so that you can experience the heights of sexual pleasure. If that’s not happening for you, it’s important to do all that you can to get to the root of why.
Secondly, not faking it because you have taken matters into your own hands — literally. So, here’s my issue with that. Unfortunately, our culture is so lust-crazed that we tend to forget (or is it ignore?) that sex shouldn’t ONLY be about cumming; sex should also be about connecting. And so, while masturbation may help you out in the climaxing department, it’s essential to not get so used to it that you fail to bond with your partner or that you put up walls of resentment because there are things that are happening when you’re alone that aren’t happening when the two of you are together. In other words, don’t let jacking off or solo sex toy experiences get in the way of heartfelt and honest conversations with your partner about your sexual needs (check out “How To Get More Of What You Need In The Bedroom” and “Sooo...What's Your Favorite TYPE Of Sex?”).
Finally, getting caught lying — again, I mean, faking it. Yeah, I know that I’m not the only one who noticed that there is a pretty big difference between how many women caught their man acting like he had an orgasm when he didn’t vs. how many men noticed that their lady acting like she had an orgasm when she didn’t. To that, let me first say that if you thought, “If a man ejaculated, he came. Duh” — look updry orgasms sometime. Believe it or not, it is possible for men to orgasm without cumming. And to the fellas (who may be reading this): I continue to be amazed by how you can’t tell if a woman is faking it because even if she is yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs, if her vagina isn’t contracting, guess what? Yeah, between that and extra lubrication coming from her vaginal area —those are pretty common signs that an orgasm has transpired; this basically means that if you don’t notice these things going down, how attentive of a sex partner are you? #justsaying3 Tips to Avoid Faking Orgasms
GiphyNow that you know what science says about why people fake orgasms, did any of the intel surprise you? More importantly, if you can personally relate to what was said, did any of the information inspire you to make some changes in your own sex life? Yeah, if faking orgasms is indeed a thing in your own world right now, as I close this out, here's three quick tips:
1. Remember the definitions of fake. Never forget them. Deception. Pretending. Making something look like something that it is not. No time to get into all of this today, yet I have worked with many people who fake orgasms and…fake other things in their relationship. You don’t want to deceive your partner or yourself. It’s not going to help the relationship. Ultimately, it’s only going to cause hurt and/or harm. Communicate your thoughts and feelings in the way that you would like to hear someone convey theirs to you (respectfully, thoughtfully, etc.); do make sure to share them, though.
2. Stop “performing”. Start being REAL. Know who fakes a lot of orgasms? Porn actors (I prefer to call them that over “porn stars”). That’s because sex work is…work; it’s a billion-dollar industry that people get paid to act like sex is always the bomb. You’re not a porn actor, so why put that kind of pressure on yourself? No matter what the reasons are for why an orgasm isn’t coming for you, if you are having sex with someone who can’t handle the realness of the reasons or “worse”, doesn’t care — don’t put that on the sex or yourself. Sis, you are simply sleeping with the wrong person/people.
3. If you build it, one way or another, it will come…and you will cum.Do orgasms come easier for some than others? 1000 and 10 percent. That is absolutely not the point, though. If experiencing this type of pleasure is what you long for, with the help of your intentions, your partner’s willingness, and if need be, professional assistance, you can get there. Not by faking it — by being honest about the fact that you need more time, patience, and empathy.
____
Clearly, faking orgasms is a common thing; that doesn’t mean that it has to be the case for you, though. As you unpack what has made you start, process how to make it all stop.
Hmph. Better to take a while in order to experience what true bliss feels like than to keep faking it and never really know.
Words to live — and lie down — by. #wink
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Featured image by Giphy