I had a conversation with my mother this week, and I told her the responsibility of being the matriarch of the family would die with me. The Black women in my family have empowered us, raised us, fed us, and taught us to dream bigger dreams than they ever could––but at their detriment.
My paternal grandmother died three years ago of pancreatic cancer, and she died alone with many regrets and unfulfilled dreams––I don't want that to be me.
I'd like to believe that she lived a life filled with happiness, but all I ever saw her do was work, complain of what she didn't have, and the energy she often lacked due to tending to everyone else's needs but her own. She did small things, like go to the mall and eat at her favorite Chinese restaurant in the food court. When I was little, we'd take bus visits where she'd spend time with family members who still resided in the South. Still, the older her grandchildren got, the more those trips were few and far between, and I remember her often speaking of what she lacked, and how one day she wanted to go back to the country in the South, and sell her home.
That never happened; she died in the same house that she didn't desire to live in anymore.
Black Americans in this country as a whole have a collective struggle of racial trauma, systemic trauma, historical trauma, family trauma, and intergenerational trauma.
We have been taught to exist in a country that 50 years ago didn't think we were good enough to choose where we sat on a bus, and their grandchildren proclaim that we are much better off now, and systemic racism is not still at the helm of this country. As a community, as a collective, we are already facing enough, but Black women take care of everyone in our community, and the question is still asked––who is taking care of us?
That truth led me to the reality that many Black women face - the burnout that we ignore from the various hats that we wear. Statistics that Black women who struggle with PTSD, anxiety, depression, and are taught from an early age to bury those emotions and channel strength instead and that Black women are more likely to suffer in silence.
And while we are fighting many wars right now, the first war is the one in our minds that says we have to be everything for everyone, and if we don't, we're labeled selfish. In actuality, there are so many existences between those two extremes.
Black women are expected to perform, show up, work hard, swallow microaggressions, smile, and have 'socially acceptable' hair in every space that we rise in all while doing so, and I'm tired of it. However, in order to unlearn, we have to be honest with ourselves that the adultification of Black girls has played a part in this, and our denial of a childhood.
According to Georgetown Law's Center on Poverty and Inequality studies, it has been shown that adults view Black girls as more adult-like and less innocent than white girls, and believe Black girls ages 5-19 need less nurturing, protection, support and comfort than white girls of the same age, and that Black girls are more independent, know more about adult topics, and know more about sex than white girls.
In tandem with that, Black women's cries of sexual trauma, depression, and anxiety are often ignored, and we are encouraged to find the strength to persevere despite navigating racial bias, the stress of often taking on multiple roles in the household, as well as receiving lower wages. We are strong, but we are also weary. And while endurance is an attribute we've always been taught and raised to embody, we have a choice in the women we are continually becoming.
It's OK to say that you're tired. It's OK to say that you need a break, and moreover, it's OK to set boundaries of when you need those moments of filling you. Burnout is real, but so is our ability to put ourselves first.
Featured image by Shutterstock.
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“Your circle is everything,” Reginae shares with a smile, and she’s not wrong. She’s all about creating spaces where we can come together, let our hair down, and vibe with like-minded women. “We deserve spaces to meet, uplift, and vibe with each other. BLK is making that happen,” she adds.
A New Era for Friendships—Social Mode Is Here!
Gen Z is all about building meaningful connections, whether it’s with a date or a new brunch buddy. That’s why Social Mode is such a big deal. Research shows that 65% of Gen Z values friendships just as much as romantic relationships. With BLK’s new feature, users can easily toggle between “Dating” and “Social,” opening up a world of platonic connections—no swiping right required.
Bahja Rodriguez, Reginae Carter, Breaunna Womack, Lourdes Rodriguez and Zonnique Pullins attend OMG Girlz "Make A Scene" Single Release & Video Viewing Party at Trap City Cafe on March 27, 2025 in Atlanta, Georgia
Photo by Prince Williams/WireImage
Reginae Carter Hosts the Ultimate Girls’ Night In—Powered by BLK Social Mode
What better way to show Social Mode in action than with an exclusive Girls’ Night In, hosted by Reginae? The event brought together top influencers, tastemakers, and press for a night of luxury, self-care, and real talk about love, sex, and relationships. From tarot readings to perfume-making and signature cocktails, the evening embodied the “soft life” vibe that many Black women are embracing in 2025—peaceful, intentional, and full of joy.
Guests mingled, laughed, and bonded over the importance of finding a tribe that supports you. It wasn’t just about fun (although there was plenty of that!)—it was about creating a circle of inspiring, strong women. “We need to stick together. We need to be each other’s village,” Reginae says, emphasizing the power of community over competition.
Sisterhood: The Real MVP
For Reginae, it’s all about friendship—and not just the surface-level kind. “We need friends who keep it real with us. The ones who can tell us when we’re right, when we’re wrong, and when we need to calm down,” she says. As someone who navigates the spotlight, she’s got the best of both worlds: friends who understand the grind and those who can give her an honest, grounded perspective.
Her advice for building strong, intentional friendships? “Be confident in yourself and know your worth,” she explains. “Also, hurt people hurt people, so make sure you’re coming from a good place when you’re building relationships. It’s not always about being nice—sometimes it’s about being real.”
Reginae couldn’t have summed it up better: “When you have the right circle, the right tribe, everything just feels easier. And that’s exactly what BLK is giving us—space to connect, laugh, and grow with each other.”
To learn more about BLK’s Social Mode, download or update the BLK app in the App Store or Google Play Store today. Who knows? You might just find your new bestie or your next brunch crew.
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Feature image by Prince Williams/WireImage