
We Need To Talk About The Dismissal Of Black Women On Reality TV Dating Shows

Ask me what are some of my favorite reality TV shows and I will immediately tell you The Real Housewives of Atlanta and The Real Housewives of Potomac (and honorable mention The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills), however, I’ve been expanding my horizons a little bit and recently began engulfing myself in dating reality competition shows.
It might be the lover in me but I enjoy seeing people meet and fall in love. However, if you watch enough of those shows, you know it’s more than just falling in love. The contestants are typically competing for money; when love, money, and competition mix, there is always some drama. And I live for every second of it.
However, as a Black woman who watches these shows, it is hard to ignore some of the glaring treatment that many Black women deal with. Black Twitter has also been on fire about this topic thanks to Netflix’s latest reality TV dating show Perfect Match. The show features a cast made up of reality TV stars from the streaming giant’s other shows such asLove Is Blind and Selling Tampa.
The contestants live in a villa and they participate in competitions for a chance to have control over what new contestants they can bring in and set up on blind dates with those already living in the house. At the end of the night, contestants have to pair up and the one’s left without a partner have to leave the villa.
\u201cWhat #perfectmatch did to all the Black women\u2026..and making them pick from scraps and being \u201cBlack queen\u201ded downnnn but nobody seeing them as valuable partners\u2026.they will pay. Best believe they will pay and I\u2019ll see to it \u270d\ud83c\udffd\u201d— Tyler (@Tyler) 1677205034
*Spoilers ahead*
On the first night, Selling Tampa star Anne-Sophie Petit-Frere, who was the only Black woman on the show at that point, shared her lack of enthusiasm for matching with Zay Wilson (The Ultimatum), a Black man, because they were the only two people left without a match.
After new contestants showed up later on, she decided to take a chance on Too Hot to Handle star Chase DeMoor, a Black man, and match with him. But that didn’t last long. If you watched Chase’s season on Too Hot to Handle, then you may know that the women he paired with were of the non-melanin kind, and he decided to send Anne packing.
Her Selling Tampa co-star had even worse luck. Colony Reeves came in a few episodes later after Anne’s departure and she was set up on a blind date with Dom Gabriel, a Black man whose claim to fame is The Mole. Dom became a target of Black Twitter after he was in tears over Too Hot to Handle star Francesca Farago dumping him (chile) but he later matched with Georgia.
On his blind date with Colony, he immediately told her that he was not interested and kept raving over her being “strong.” Once they both entered the villa, he introduced her to other men as a “strong Black woman” (cringe). She, along with Izzy Fairthorne, went home that same night.
@colonyreeves @annesophiepf #perfectmatch #perfectmatchnetflix #fyp #foryoupage #sellingtampa #sellingtampanetflix #dating #relationships #sellingtampacolony #netflix #annesophieandcolony
Colony recently responded to Dom in a TikTok video alongside Anne. The caption read “Do you identify as a strong black woman?” with the “no” sound repeating in the background of the video. However, Dom’s contestants later sent him on another date with another Black woman, Diamond Jack from Love Is Blind season one and again he lets her know he’s not interested.
However, going into episode 9, it seemed like Diamond had some potential suitors as she was matched with The Mole reality star Will Richardson and had a promising blind date with Love Is Blind season 3 star Bartise Bowden. However, that night she caught Bartise locking lips with Abby Humphreys and Will confessed that he had his eyes for Francesca. Diamond ultimately made the decision to leave and strutted out of the house. And then there were no Black women left (but two Black men remained).
Perfect Match became yet another example in a long line of reality dating shows that show Black women getting the short end of the stick. Time and time again, women of other races and ethnicities seem to get picked over Black women and it is hard to watch. But I must admit, there have been some success stories.
\u201cI don\u2019t like how LIB be cutting all the black women. How come they are always in the trailer but not the show\u2026 \ud83d\udc40\u201d— Lauren Speed (@Lauren Speed) 1666653090
When the contestants who left the house came back for a last shot at love, Bartise and Izzy decided to give their relationship another chance and they made it to the end of the show. Outside of Perfect Match, there’s Dami Hope and Indiyah Polack, a Black couple from ITV2’s Love Island season 8, and Lauren Speed-Hamilton, a Black woman who found love with Cameron Hamilton, a white man in the first season of Love Is Blind. While Lauren found love on her show, it didn’t stop her from speaking out in a series of tweets in Oct. 2022 about Black women having “slim pickings” on Love Is Blind season 3.
“I know it’s slim pickings but about 85% of them couples be forced (just moving forward for entertainment purposes) anyway. Y’all could at least force some more sisters to move forward throughout the show,” she tweeted.
Hopefully, more contestants will speak out about the dismissal of Black women on these shows and fans continue to use their voices on social media as a way to spark change.
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Feature image from "Perfect Match"/ Netflix
London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
This Moisturizer Comes With A Built-In Sculpting Tool—And It Lowkey Changed My Skincare Routine
Gua sha, essence, serums, moisturizer, and SPF are a few of the many steps incorporated in an everyday skincare routine. However, it’s easy to skip a step or two to save time.
And in my case, I’ve wondered how crucial it would be if I slack on an essence or gua sha routine, so my routine doesn’t feel as extensive. With skincare routines getting longer, I always appreciate a two-in-one product.
Now and then, the beauty industry releases a two-in-one product that makes life worth living again. One of those brands is REFY.
The Hype Behind REFY's Face Sculpt Moisturizer With Built-In Roller
The company shook the industry when it first released its REFY Glow and Sculpt Face Serum Primer With Niacinamide. Now they’ve come out with a moisturizer version of the product. The Face Sculpt by REFY is the world's first moisturizer with a sculpting piece attached.
The product aims to lift the skin while hydrating it at the same time. This is music to my ears, since it’s one less step I have to take separately and still get my facelift.
Face Sculpt by REFY is the "world's first facial sculpting moisturizer that instantly lifts, defines and hydrates."
REFY
Key Ingredients in REFY's Sculpting Moisturizer: What Your Skin Will Love
Before I try any product, I always look at the ingredients. It’s important to know what's going on with your skin. Doing this extra step can help you learn the benefits or risks you’re up against. I love that this moisturizer is filled with glycerin and provitamin B5.
Glycerin is incredible for deeply hydrating the skin, which is essential since I have dry skin. Provitamin B5 is an ingredient I rarely see in most skincare products. It’s excellent for calming the skin and reducing redness. This can come in handy on mornings when your skin is puffy and needs to calm down.
How To Use REFY’s Face Sculpt Moisturizer for Best Results
When applying the product, I learned that patience is key. Rolling the moisturizer into your skin won’t melt in as quickly as using your hands. I found this beneficial since it meant the moisturizer was slowly working its way into my pores, instead of forcing it in. I worked the “roller” in upward motions to ensure I got the face lift effect I sought.
Although the facelift didn’t come instantly, I knew it would come in time if I were consistent enough—four weeks to be exact.
REFY
Four-Week Facelift or Nah? My First Impressions
The website shows various final results after using the moisturizer for four weeks. Several women are posing with pride, showing off their final results. There was a slight difference in lifting for each face. In addition, their smile wrinkles have subsided.
I look forward to these results as I continue to use this product consistently. I encourage everyone to check out the results on their website, as they're worth looking into before you start.
After using this product immediately, I noticed a noticeable difference in hydration. The moisturizer created a luminous effect on my skin that I deeply appreciated. I also loved how much it helped with lymphatic drainage. Since I had to work in the moisturizer, the rolling motions helped smooth out my skin. Allowing for a depuffing effect before starting my day.
Final Thoughts: Is REFY's Face Sculpt Worth It?
I give this product a 10 out of 10. It's perfect for all skin types, but especially those looking for a subtle face lift. With patience and commitment, your skin can be perky and ready for the day!
Remember to roll day and night so your skin can stay plump.
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Featured image by insta_photos/Getty Images