'Wakanda Forever' Shows That Black People Can’t Win In The MCU
*Warning: this piece contains spoilers for Black Panther 2: Wakanda Forever*
Wakanda Foreveris in a no-win situation.
The sequel to the Marvel Cinematic Universe juggernaut Black Panther has the monumental task of honoring its fallen king, Chadwick Boseman, and the character he played, T’Challa, all while continuing on the Black Panther mantel, introducing new characters Riri “IronHeart” Williams (who will have her own Disney+ series) and the antihero Namor and his underwater kingdom Talokan.
It’s impossible to do all of these things well in just one movie, though co-writer and director Ryan Coogler’s effort is valiant. The love for Boseman is palpable, and Wakanda Forever gives us the opportunity to mourn him together, just as we celebrated him in community during Black Panther’s 2018 run.
Though I left the theater in tears after both Black Panther and Wakanda Forever, back in 2018 I wasn’t immediately sure why. This time around, it’s much more clear what hurts: Black people can’t win in the MCU.
Black People Can’t Have Peace
Much of the Black joy around Black Pantherwas rooted in the idea of Wakanda as the AfroFuture realized. The most advanced nation in the world, shielded from the evils of white colonization, enslavement, extraction and exploitation of resources, Wakanda represented all the beauty, glory and majesty of who we could’ve been, unshackled and without limits.
And yet, all of its leaders are assassinated by outsiders. First, it’s King T’Chaka, who meets his end at the hands of white Sokovian terrorist Zemo in Captain America: Civil War. Then it’s T’Challa, who’s blipped away for five years by Thanos’ snap in Avengers: Infinity War (before returning back to life in Avengers: End Game and dying of an unnamed illness in Wakanda Forever). Finally, it’s Queen Ramonda (Angela Bassett) in Wakanda Forever, assassinated by Namor (Tenoch Huerta) and left face-down, drowned in a flood of his making. It’s a graphic and disturbing image, not just for the characters – particularly her daughter, Princess Shuri (Letitia Wright), who has now lost every single member of her immediate family – but also for the already-grieving audience.
We came to the film expecting to grieve Boseman, whose untimely death from cancer in 2020 we’ve been processing ever since. And we came expecting to grieve T’Challa, knowing that the #RecastTChalla movement had been unsuccessful because, for the filmmakers and cast, Boseman is more than a character who inspired legions of young people. He was an actual person and friend, deeply loved and deeply grieved by his Black Panther family. Acknowledging his death and honoring him with the film rightfully meant more than continuing on with a new actor in the role. All of that, I'd expected and accepted.
But the assassination of Ramonda was cruel and unnecessary, for both the characters and the audience.
Yes, it’s a fictional death, and Angela Bassett played the hell out of it. But with the death of Boseman, our fictions and our realities have too closely intermingled. Killing Ramonda and leaving Shuri orphaned exemplified our all-too-real experience of Black grief in this country. We can’t even burn our mourning clothes before the next tragedy strikes. To still experience this, even in the AfroFuture? That's cruelty.
But it’s the MCU, and superhero origin stories need cruel deaths. T’Challa’s, apparently, wasn’t enough. Shuri’s subsequent journey of being consumed by grief in Wakanda Forever then, mirrors that of T’Challa’s in Civil War–both of which lead to a dissatisfying end.
Black People Can’t Have Vengeance
In 2016’s Civil War, Boseman’s T’Challa has just witnessed the assassination of his father, King T’Chaka, leading him on a path of revenge, that ultimately ends with him sitting on a hill, having a peaceful chat with his father’s killer, Zemo. T’Challa sees how vengeance has destroyed Zemo and lets the terrorist live, choosing the road of forgiveness.
T’Challa’s insistence on vengeance being no way to live continues in Black Panther and contrasts with his uncle N’Jobu (Sterling K. Brown) and cousin, the Black American N’Jadaka, AKA Erik Killmonger (Michael B. Jordan). N’Jobu, who had been a Wakandan spy in America, had found sympathy for and community with Black American freedom fighters. He married a Black American woman who was imprisoned as a revolutionary (according to a deleted scene) and was planning to use vibranium to break her out and arm Black Americans in their fight against their white supremacist overlords. His own brother T’Chaka finds that plan so offensive that it’s worthy of N’Jobu’s immediate arrest and then execution when he resists, without much discussion, let alone tribunal. T’Chaka’s murder of his brother leaves a young Killmonger without a father or a mother.
All grown up, Killmonger comes to Wakanda for the first time to avenge his father N’Jobu. Killmonger also seeks revenge for Wakanda’s isolationist tactics, watching from the safety of their secret borders as Europeans kidnapped West Africans and sold them into slavery in the Americas, colonized most of Africa, and terrorized Black people globally with white supremacy. His keloided body marks the inner corruption vengeance has left on his soul–and there is no doubt, his murderous, misogynistic tactics are less about liberation for all Black people and more about replicating the white power structure with a Black male face as king.
When Killmonger fights T’Challa to maintain control as Wakanda’s king and Black Panther, T’Challa kills Killmonger. As Killmonger dies, T’Challa offers to heal Killmonger, but he’s just too broken and damaged by the impact of slavery and white supremacy on his people in America, too consumed by vengeance to ever be healed, to ever go back to his African home. Trying to get Black people together to get revenge against white people will never fly in the MCU.
Shuri learns as much in Wakanda Forever when her anger and grief over the loss of T’Challa from an unnamed illness leads Namor to believe she will be a good ally to him and his people, the Talokan, who have also suffered because of white supremacists’ efforts to destroy their people. He asks her to burn the world with him in order to protect their people from further distress. She isn’t keen on it, and she’s also not in control; Ramonda is calling the shots. When Namor murders Ramonda, Shuri goes all in on a plan to destroy Namor and the Talokan.
Her deep-seated need for vengeance leads her to meet Killmonger when she goes to the ancestral plane on her journey to becoming Black Panther. It’s at first a welcomed surprise to see him and to see the film allowing a young, dark-skinned Black woman the fullness of her rage on screen. Seeing Killmonger and watching as her rage sets the ancestral plane ablaze, suggest perhaps we might see Wakanda Forever correct the MCU's constant propaganda that “Black people must forgive our oppressors!” Plot twist: it's the same old story.
“Vengeance has consumed us,” Shuri says after she’s got Namor on the ropes, a spear at his throat. She drops her weapon and her vengeance, for the sake of the Wakandans who are getting their asses kicked in the middle of the ocean by the Talokan. “We cannot let it consume our people.”
Shuri has lost everything and everyone, and even still, Ramonda's spirit randomly shows up as a deus ex machina to remind Shuri that vengeance is not appropriate. "Show him who we are," Ramonda says. What is that, if not the same tired Black respectability politics we’ve been fed since slavery?
Black People Can’t Have Unity
Just like in slavery, unity among Black people is the greatest threat to white supremacist power and has been intentionally thwarted for centuries. It’s no different in the MCU. I accept that Killmonger wasn’t actually radical, and his faux-tep philosophy would not have led to Black liberation, but T’Challa didn’t listen to his partner Nakia’s (Lupita Nyong’o) correct takes on Black unity and liberation either.
Nakia wanted to use vibranium to help the people of Africa, and often left Wakanda to go and help people in other African nations as a spy. Does that inspire T’Challa to do her work at a larger scale at the end of Black Panther? No. He builds a STEM program and community centers for some underprivileged Black kids in America; skips right over the African Union or any attempts to unite and empower the Continent; and incomprehensibly takes his knowledge of vibranium to the white supremacist United Nations instead.
In fact, outside of fictional Wakanda – which appropriates many African nations’ languages and cultures to make up the look and feel of Wakanda – there are zero positive depictions of real Africa in the MCU. In Civil War, we see Nigeria’s capital city Lagos completely destroyed (and mispronounced!! several times!!) by the Avengers. In Black Panther, Nigeria is reduced to Boko Haram traffickers of women and children. In Wakanda Forever, there’s mention of a Wakandan hub in Ghana, but we don’t see Ghana outside of the hub, which is guarded by Dora Milaje. We don’t see any other part of Africa in the MCU, and the message is clear: Wakanda has advanced itself so successfully because it has isolated itself from the rest of Africa. It's giving: "not like the other Blacks."
But the worst offense takes place inside of Wakanda’s borders at the end of Black Panther.
King T’Challa, who was thought dead, has arisen, meaning he was not defeated by Killmonger and the challenge for the throne should continue. But Killmonger has no interest in a fair fight; he’s already been crowned king and Black Panther. Inexplicably, this leads to a Wakandan civil war.
Killmonger just got there like the day before; T’Chaka and T’Challa have been mainstays in Wakanda for decades. W’Kabi (Daniel Kaluuya) is T’Challa’s best friend. All of the tribes joyously celebrated T’Challa being crowned king the week before. And yet, W’Kabi leads his tribe and others into war against fellow Wakandans and many, many are killed, including members of the Dora Milaje. This is the problem of having an all-Black setting in the MCU: action movies need battle scenes, so a lot of Black people will be killed on screen and even Wakanda itself will have to get trashed.
Wakanda is the most technologically advanced nation in the MCU; they’ve never been colonized, and still their ways of handling conflict are steeped in age-old white supremacist tactics of violence, domination and control. The math don’t add!
To make matters more disgusting, Nakia and T’Challa have brought a white CIA agent into Wakanda, Everett Ross, who is not only given life-saving treatment for his injuries and a tour of Wakanda’s secrets as a literal AGENT OF THE CIA, but he's also given weapons by Shuri to shoot down Wakandan pilots in the civil war. The entire reason T’Challa won’t help African nations or the Black diaspora is to protect the safety and security of Wakanda – which completely goes out the window when a random white cop is down bad?
Coogler, Oakland’s own, is very well aware of the history of the CIA, FBI and global police efforts to destroy Black liberation movements, and particularly the Black Panthers. But it’s the MCU; the “good white cop who has Black friends” is their entire MO (see Captain America, Iron Man, Thor…). Still, Agent Ross’s seemingly irrevocable invitation to the Black Panther franchise cookout is an affront and jokingly calling him “colonizer” doesn’t make up for it.
Contrast the Wakandan civil war with the Avengers in Civil War, where the Avengers split into two factions and fight each other. When one Avenger gets seriously injured, the fighting stops. They love each other too much to kill each other. Wakandans – who literally only know each other because they’ve been isolated from the rest of the world for their entire existence – kill each other with ease. What message does that send about Wakanda, about Africa?
Meanwhile, as Black countrymen are killing each other, Zemo, the white man who murdered their king, is still alive and well.
And so are the white French soldiers in Wakanda Forever who attack Wakanda’s hub in Ghana, armed to the teeth and looking for vibranium. The Dora Milaje disarm them and bring them – handcuffed yet unscathed – into a United Nations meeting to help Queen Ramonda make her point about how corrupt these white countries are.
Yet Okoye receives no such leniency from Ramonda when Okoye valiantly loses her fight against a gang of Talokan warriors with superhuman strength who kidnap Shuri and Riri. Ramonda strips Okoye of her rank as general and banishes her from the Dora Milaje, ignoring pleas for mercy from the Council. Ramonda also mentions that Okoye’s “treacherous” husband W’Kabi is in banishment after siding with Killmonger during the civil war.
All of this begs the question: What is justice in Wakanda and how does the most advanced nation on earth dole it out to its own? Murder and banishment and war are all we see.
This continues in Wakanda Forever when Namor approaches Wakanda to team up against white colonizers. I’ll admit, when Namor shows up dripping in vibranium because Wakanda wasn’t in fact the only special place where vibranium formed, I thought, Man…Black people can’t have nothing! Still, I was all for a film exploring the joint struggle of Black and Mayan communities and how we’re naturally allies. But it’s the MCU; Disney would pull the plug on the whole franchise if Marvel actually let Black and Mayan people team up to take down white supremacy for real. So Wakanda Forever spends the majority of its action with the Black and Mayan people killing each other, becoming allies at the very last possible minute, without showing what “allyship” actually looks like. Guess we’ll see what the MCU allows in Black Panther 3.
But as for Wakandan and Black American unity, that future is still to be seen. In Black Panther, Okoye spits the word “Americans,” and with Killmonger’s death and the heartbreaking message that Black American descendants of enslaved Africans might just be too messed up to reconnect with Africa, Black Panther surely makes no space for an end to the Diaspora Wars.
The only other Black Americans in that film are some nameless boys in the ‘hood in Oakland, whom T’Challa attempts to rescue through his charitable STEM program. Get ‘em while they’re young, I guess. But if Black Americans can only receive Wakandan charity rather than exchange of ideas, of cultures, of language, there's no hope for unity.
The inclusion of Riri Williams in Wakanda Forever, however, may be an attempt at correction, as she’s the first Black American young woman character in the franchise. She’s not quite an equal to the Wakandans we know, as she's a 19-year-old college kid. But she is also a prodigy and a mentee for Shuri, and I’m here for their Black girl brilliance and the growing bond between them. But Shuri won't let Riri take her IronHeart suit back to America with her. Shuri is still in control.
Even Wakanda Forever 's introduction of Haiti and Black life in the Caribbean to the MCU still puts Wakanda in the position of teacher, as Nakia is the headmaster of the school featured there and in charge of educating Haitian children. Coogler choosing Haiti as a site of healing and connection and writing that Nakia and T'Challa name their son Toussaint to honor the revolutionary history of Haiti seem like narrative steps toward Wakanda's community building in the Diaspora. But knowing Haiti's current real life level of devastation after the 2021 hurricane, I need some receipts that Wakanda is doing more to empower Haiti than just running one self-sustaining school.
Further franchise installments should account for the incessant lack of Black unity both inside Wakanda and throughout the Diaspora. Without colonization and white supremacy, Wakanda should’ve been leading the charge on how to show care and solve intracommunal conflict.
But, again, it’s the MCU. That means these movies can’t possibly be revolutionary beyond the veneer of representation.
Black People Can’t Be Free
And sure, representation matters, but then what?
What was gained by the extremely mild showing of affection in Wakanda Forever between Dora Milaje warriors Aneka (a wasted Michaela Coel) and Ayo (Florence Kasumba), two queer characters in the comics whose relationship is diminished to a two-second peck on the bald head? Is it enough to know that Black queer characters exist in this world, even if they can’t do anything particularly queer so that Marvel can increase the odds that China will let the movie open in its country? (Surprise! China wasn’t ever gonna let them do that, anyway.)
What was gained by taking Okoye, who found such pride, joy and beauty in her bald head in Black Panther, and reducing her looks to punchlines in Wakanda Forever? This happens both inside Wakanda by M’Baku in front of the Council, where this leader is supposed to be respected and revered, and outside Wakanda by the young genius Riri who couldn't think of a better comeback than calling her bald head ashy. This passes as comedy in 2022?
What was gained by making M’Baku king and setting up the reveal of a secret 6-year-old son for T’Challa? These choices seemed like throwing bones to the #RecastTchalla crowd who mourned the loss of Black male power more than anything else. Sure, the idea of a secret son could bring some comfort that the T'Challa character will live on in the future and that Shuri does still have one relative left. But more than anything, it makes its secret-holding characters look especially cruel.
For a year, the son was grieving the loss of his father, as were Ramonda and Shuri and all of Wakanda. They could've been grieving together. Wakanda Forever opens with this gorgeous, all-white funeral for T'Challa, emphasizing the Wakandan tradition of grieving and healing in community, which only makes Nakia's nonsense reasoning for not bringing the boy to attend the funeral and meet his aunt all the more unbelievable – especially considering the turmoil that Killmonger being disconnected from Wakanda had caused.
But the worst grandmother of the year award goes to Ramonda, who not only knew about her secret grandson and didn't tell her grieving daughter, but she also sent his only living parent off on a dangerous rescue mission, leaving the child behind in Haiti (with whom?!). It's such an unsavory series of choices that goes against so much of what we've learned over two films about these characters and their love for Wakanda, in exchange for an emotionally manipulative surprise ending.
It only further highlights the fact that these characters haven't been developed enough and neither has Wakanda. Besides letting women fight in battle and rule the kingdom when the men they’re connected to become ancestors, we don’t know much about Wakandan culture and values outside of the royal walls, since we never meet any regular degular Wakandans. Is there homelessness? Free healthcare? Hopefully flood insurance? We don't know. But even without the infiltration of white supremacy and colonization, it seems that Black people in Wakanda are only free to a degree. And that’s by design.
Outside of the MCU, these films wouldn't have had the tentpole, blockbuster reach or success; they wouldn't even exist. Still, they could’ve been so much more than the fashion, the memes, and the need for representation that initially brought us together behind this franchise – though that 2018 moment in history was a gift that can never be replicated. We wanted a king and Chadwick was a beautiful one. We wanted Black women exercising agency and power. We wanted dark-skinned beauty representation and we got all of that, so we let some anti-Black, anti-Black American and anti-African sentiments cook.
But we deserve more. We deserve a story about Africanness and Diasporic Blackness that’s not hampered by the white gaze that would refuse us peace, justice, unity and vengeance. In the MCU, no matter who’s at the helm, that’s just not possible.
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The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Halle Bailey Recently Spoke About Her Postpartum Depression — And I’m So Glad She Did
If you’re one to track celebrity news — which, let’s be real, is oftentimes nothing more than gossip — you’ve probably noticed that actor and singer Halle Bailey’s name has been coming up quite a bit as of late. Last week, she announced a mini solo residency (her first) that sold out in a matter of minutes, and since she and artist DDG (the father of her firstborn son, Halo) have broken up, it’s like folks are publishing minute-by-minute updates on what co-parenting is like for the both of them (and between them).
However, what caught and held my attention was her sharing the fact that she has been going through postpartum depression in the midst of…it all.
As Halle went on to explain her extreme anxiety when it came to being apart from her baby for more than 30 minutes, looking in the mirror and not really recognizing herself, and feeling triggered (in ways she probably wouldn’t be otherwise) — as a doula (which is basically a birthing assistant) who has had a front seat to clients who’ve battled with postpartum depression as well (and also as someone who knows that somewhere around 1 in 8 women deal with it on some level), I thought that now would be as good of a time as any to address some things about postpartum depression head on.
One, so that it can be taken more seriously than it oftentimes is. Two, so that you can know what to potentially look out for if you’re pregnant or someone you care about is. And, last but not least, if you have recently been diagnosed with postpartum depression, you can know that there is absolutely nothing to feel ashamed about — and that you are certainly not alone.
Postpartum Depression. Revisited.
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First up, I’m not even gonna begin to act like I can cover something as…vast as postpartum depression in one article. However, I am going to try to provide a bit of fact-based intel, just so you can separate myths, rumors, and the attitude of dismissiveness from what this type of depression is actually all about.
Postpartum depression (which is sometimes also referred to as perinatal depression and is also known as PPD) is the type of depression that occurs either during a woman’s pregnancy or shortly after she gives birth. Although the Greek philosopher and physician Hippocrates spotted emotional challenges that new moms would experience all the way back in his day (which was a LONG time ago), it actually wasn’t until — check it — 1994 (just 30 years ago — SMDH) that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders formally listed postpartum depression “medically defined concept.”
Since then, even more studies have been trying to get to the root of postpartum depression. For instance, a UCLA team came to the conclusion about a decade ago that pregnancy alters the brain on many different levels. It does this by (for example) causing neurosteroid chemicals to skyrocket during pregnancy and then plummet after giving birth, which can cause the brain to go through extremes in order to resume some sort of balance.
In 2019, in response to this, the FDA approved Zulresso (brexanolone). New moms 15 and over can take it, although it absolutely must be under the supervision of a medical professional due to some of its potential side effects.
It also should go on record that there are three different types of postpartum depression — there’s the “baby blues” that easily at least half (some reports say as much as 75 percent) of new moms go through which is pretty (self-) manageable; there’s postpartum depression that comes with more severe symptoms (more on that in a sec), and then there’s postpartum psychosis which is the most extreme kind of PPD. Around 1 in 1,000 women are diagnosed with it, and it can include paranoia, hallucinations, and mania.
Okay, so how can you know if what you are experiencing is “baby blues” or something more serious? That is an excellent question.
5 Early Signs of Postpartum Depression
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Although some of my clients are individuals who I didn’t know prior to their pregnancy, some people have been friends. One friend, in particular, I had known for about 20 years at the time that I helped her give birth to her first child ,and so I knew her personality very well. That’s why, when I noticed some of the signs that I’m about to share, I alerted her midwife ASAP.
Initially, her midwife said that we should wait a couple of weeks to see if it really was postpartum depression, yet my friend was moving so out of character that I wouldn’t let up. Later on, her midwife told me that she was glad that I didn’t wait because my friend ended up going through a pretty serious bout of postpartum depression for a few months.
1. Early signs of PPD: Your emotions don't "level out" within the first couple of weeks.
Listen, if premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is real (and it is), in part due to all of the hormonal changes that we go through (perimenopause comes to mind, too), I bet you can just imagine all that is going on, hormonally, after giving birth. And while the first couple of weeks can seem a bit all over the place, if you’re not starting to feel like your old self within a couple of weeks or so, don’t merely shrug that off; it could be a postpartum depression warning sign.
2. Early signs of PPD: Your anxiety is through the roof.
Something that really let me know that something was up with my friend is she was obsessed with feeding her child (a part of the issue was mastitis, which is an infection within a woman’s breast tissue). It was so much to the point that she wouldn’t sleep, and when I would be insistent upon it, she would put a bottle up on a pregnancy pillow and prop her baby up next to it (keep in mind that this was a newborn). She was super anxious and irritable, which can be another warning sign of entering into postpartum depression.
3. Early signs of PPD: Your day-to-day patterns are drastically shifting.
Your baby is going to create a new normal for your life; that is guaranteed. However, if you’re noticing that you are totally deviating from everything that you typically do as far as your daily routine goes, while this could be the case for the first few weeks, pay close attention to if it remains that way for longer periods of time. This can be tied toshort-term memory loss or feeling very disoriented — another telling sign.
4. Early signs of PPD: You are beyond exhausted.
I once read that new parents tend to lose somewhere around three hours of sleep each and every night during the first year of their child’s life (chile) — and yes, that is going to lead to feeling tired, drained…weary even. Oh, but the exhaustion that I’m speaking of here is when you are well past feeling like you are running on fumes.
Depression exhaustion is when your brain is foggy, your focus is off, and you start leaning into feeling like you’re just existing instead of living because that’s just how worn out you are — and when you can’t seem to find relief, no matter how hard you try, that’s when it could teeter into depression if you’re not careful.
5. Early signs of PPD: You're either overly concerned with or totally detached from your child.
If you can’t think about anything but your baby or you don’t really feel much of an attachment at all, both of these can be signs of postpartum depression setting in as well. While science is still trying to figure out if shifts in oxytocin play a role, it is clear that changes in estrogen, progesterone, and within your thyroid can lead to either outcome — and both aren’t what’s ideal when you have a baby.
5 Signs of Full-Blown Postpartum Depression
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To be honest, everything that I just said can be a warning sign or a clear indication that you are in postpartum depression. The reason why I separated them from the ones that we are about to discuss is that if you only have one of what I just said, it may not be depression; however, if you’ve got three or more of them going on, definitely contact your doctor or midwife, just as soon as you possibly can — especially if they are compounded by these too.
1. Signs of PPD: Loss of appetite
When you’re depressed, it can sometimes cause you to not want to do basic things like showering or eating. A part of this may be due to something known as anhedonia, which is basically the ability to enjoy pleasurable things like food. Thing is, though, in order for you to get your strength back and for your baby to receive the nutrients that they need (if you are breastfeeding), you’ve got to eat. Besides, not eating can lower your blood sugar levels and that can impact your moods.
2. Signs of PPD: Insomnia
It probably doesn’t surprise you that, reportedly, 75 percent of people who are depressed struggle with getting a good night’s rest. The hamster wheel that it can put you on is wild, too, because you initially may struggle with sleeping because you are anxious or worrying a lot, which can have your emotions so all over the place to the point that you need sleep to regulate them…which you can’t seem to get because, again, you’re worrying so much.
There’s no way around the fact that a lack of sleep and depression are linked, so if you’re going days without at least getting some naps in, that could be a sign that postpartum depression has set in. (By the way, lemon balm is something that you might want to try if you can’t seem to sleep and you’re looking for an all-natural way to deal with it.)
3. Signs of PPD: Non-stop crying
If you ever get around to reading TIME’s “The Science of Crying,” you’ll get that nothing about crying is black and white. And honestly, if you’re crying from time to time after having a baby, that is completely understandable — encouraged even because it can help to reduce stress and pain; in fact, it’s pretty damn therapeutic.
What you shouldn’t overlook is if you’re experiencing crying spells to the point where it feels like you can’t stop. That can be an indication of depression because what you are expressing is feelings of hopelessness on some level.
4. Signs of PPD: Suicidal ideations
At the top of this year, Healthline published, “People with Perinatal or Postpartum Depression Face Higher Suicide Risk.” Hormones play a role in this. So does suppressing emotions if you feel some sort of guilt or shame for even having those thoughts during such a special time in your life. Then, if you add to the fact that reportedly only 15 percent of women seek professional mental health support for postpartum depression — sometimes it all can become so overwhelming that ending one’s life seems like the only way out. IT’S NOT.
If you’re thinking about suicide, even just a little bit, please speak up. Again, there’s nothing to be ashamed of; you simply need some expert assistance to get you through it.
5. Signs of PPD: Thoughts of hurting your child.
If it gets to the point where you are considering harming your child, that leans into the psychosis level of postpartum. Still, if a woman is going through all of the signs that I just mentioned, simultaneously, imagine how defeated she must feel. Anyway, although this isn’t the most common sign, it is the one that needs immediate professional help.
What Should You Do If You’re Going Through Postpartum Depression
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So, after reading all of this, you definitely sense that you or someone you know has some postpartum depression going on. What should you do? The first thing is what I’ve already mentioned, which is to make an appointment to see your doctor or midwife. Please don’t try, and “Google your way” into a remedy or solution because a medical professional may need to do lab work and mental health screenings to get to the root of what could be causing it. Next, if you are officially diagnosed, get a solid support system around you.
Remember (and it really can’t be said enough), postpartum depression is NOTHING to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. You had a baby, which is a supernatural feat; it may take some time to recover from all that came with doing that — and that is okay. Next, you might want to consider getting a postpartum therapist — and yes, there is such a thing. They can help you to better articulate your feelings and needs, offer proven tips to get you through this particular season, and help you to find therapy treatments that will be most effective for you personally.
All-Natural Remedies for Postpartum Depression
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Please hear me loud and clear when I say that natural remedies for postpartum depression need to be accompanied by a physician’s (or midwife’s) knowledge and care.
The reason why I can’t stress that enough is, again, postpartum depression is nothing to be flippant with or about, and simply thinking that you can take a supplement and call it a day is irresponsible at best. At the same time, though, there are things that can complement whatever your doctor or midwife suggests as you’re on the road to healing from it.
1. Postpartum depression remedies: Get some omega-3s into your system.
Omega-3 fatty acids help to keep your cell membranes in peak condition, and yes, they have been proven to help reduce some of the symptoms that are associated with (postpartum) depression. In fact, some doctors recommend consuming these types of fatty acids throughout your pregnancy in order to reduce the chances of being diagnosed with postpartum depression. There are supplements that are available, and foods like flaxseeds, chia seeds, walnuts, meat from grass-fed animals, and salmon are filled with this particular nutrient, too.
2. Postpartum depression remedies: Consider some postpartum yoga.
Remember how Halle Bailey basically said that she felt disconnected from her body? Something that can help you to “reconnect” is postpartum yoga. Since it’s a form of exercise that decreases stress and anxiety, it’s low-impact, and it can help you to feel better about your body again — all of this works together to get you through postpartum depression.
3. Postpartum depression remedies: Fast from sugar, caffeine, and alcohol.
Sugar, caffeine, and alcohol are all stimulants — the kind that can make you feel energized and then cause you to crash a few hours later. When you have postpartum depression, you’re already on an emotional roller coaster ride, so you need to consume these things in extreme moderation.
Sugar? Studies say that it can actually make depression-related symptoms worse. Caffeine is a bit of a mixed bag; however, if it made you anxious before getting pregnant, you definitely should speak with your doctor before consuming it after pregnancy. Alcohol? It also increases your depression symptoms; plus, it’s potentially addictive.
4. Postpartum depression remedies: Get yourself an accountability partner.
Suffering in silence. A lot of new moms do it, which is why I was so glad that Halle spoke up about what she has currently been going through. When I say that you need an accountability partner (preferably a non-relative if you've got bossy or controlling ones who want to tell you "how things are done"), what I mean is you need someone who will help you to stick to your plans/goals for healing from postpartum depression, while supporting and encouraging you on your low days; you also need someone who will be great at helping you to feel good about yourself again.
Postpartum depression isn’t really something that you can get through (well) alone. Please don’t try to.
5. Postpartum depression remedies: Ramp up the self-care.
LISTEN, if there is ever a time when you shouldn’t feel the least bit guilty about getting (extra) massages, facials, or whatever else makes you feel pampered and beautiful — right after having a baby would be it. In fact, if you are currently pregnant, I recommend that you create a “pamper me budget” for your postnatal care. Why? Well, sometimes, one of the hardest things about adjusting to the new normal of a baby is trying to find the balance between prioritizing them vs. yourself.
When it comes to this final point, you’ve got to always remember that the healthier you are — mind, body, and spirit — the better off your baby will be, and that means that you’ve got to take premium care of your mental health…and yes, self-care via pampering plays a big role in that (check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself”).
Why You Should Consider Hiring a Postpartum Doula
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The way that my particular doula services work is I come into the pregnant mom’s life during the beginning of her third trimester and then stick around for a month following her giving birth to her child. That way, I can monitor any potential signs of postpartum depression, give her partner a break (yes, fathers have needs that shouldn’t be ignored during that time, too), and I can help around the house if the mom is too tired or physically not up to doing things like washing dishes or even changing her baby sometimes.
Although I do this naturally, the technical term for this type of doula isa postpartum doula. And even though we're all given information on how to provide postpartum care during “doula school,” a postpartum doula’s training is focused especially on how to support moms and babies after mom gives birth.
This can include doing all of the things that I already mentioned, as well as offering breastfeeding assistance (because it can sometimes take a minute to figure it out, trust me), running errands, preparing meals, helping out with other members of the family (like the other children) — some postpartum doulas will even spend the night a few nights a week so that the mom can get some quality rest.
Indeed, one of my favorite things about a postpartum doula is that while a baby nurse mostly only focuses on the newborn’s needs, a postpartum doula helps the entire family. Yeah, they are pretty bomb and can be a real godsend on a billion different levels. For information on how to find a doula or postpartum doula, click here. For information on how to become a DONA-certified doula, click here.
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This one was lengthy (even for me — LOL), yet I hope you can see why it needed to be.
Halle, thanks again for bringing this issue to light. I salute you.
Having a baby is miraculous. New moms deserve all of the support that they need once they do it.
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