It's getting hot outside and it's the perfect time to take off all of your clothes with your boo of choice and get kinky as f*ck. Whether you're into BDSM or are just in the market for a new dildo, these Black-owned businesses have everything you need to turn up the heat in your bedroom and add some spice to your sex life.
From a new pair of rose quartz handcuffs from Plz Be Careful to the smartphone-controlled vibrator you didn't know you needed, here are 12 Black-owned sex shops and boutiques that you can shop right now:
1.Bedroom Kandi
Founded by Kandi Burruss, Bedroom Kandi is one of many brainchilds the multi-entrepreneur has spawned. Since its 2011 launch, the line of body-safe intimacy toys offers something for everyone, from her signature Kandi Kisses to her Helping Hand.
2.Plz Be Careful
We heard you like to dress up, but what about putting a little kink into it? For those of you who won't to expand your lingerie horizons, Plz Be Careful is the gender fluid clothing line of your perverted dreams. Founded by @moongoddexx69, the eco-centric brand creates custom "slutgear and armor."
3.Organic Loven
Organic Loven is a sexual wellness haven founded by erotic educator Taylor Parks. The curator of intimate products believes that in order to tap into true pleasure from your sex toy explorations, you must do so with high quality, eco-friendly, and body-safe sex toys. In addition to an array of products in their online shop, Organic Loven is also the name of the only adult subscription box to do the same.
4.Lumberjill Leisurecrafts
Etsy
Don't knock it till you try it. Richard "Dick" Carver has revamped what a personal massager looks like with his signature wooden dildos. The shop owner hand crafts wooden dildos, paddles, plugs, as well as customizable orders. Long, thick, and powerful are understatements for the functional artwork this shop provides.
5.b condoms
When for the culture becomes for the protection, that's where this black-owned condom company comes into play. B condoms are an organic, vegan, and odorless brand of condoms that touches on some of the pain points of other condoms out there on the market; including but not limited to the fact that they have the biggest condom in the USA with their 60mm Platinum XL condom.
6.Anya Lust
Anya Lust
For this shop, it's the lust for us. Anya Lust is known for selling high-quality luxury lingerie. But the brand takes it a step further by providing a small selection of sexual wellness and pleasure tools. This includes the crystal wand (pictured above), yoni eggs, a vibrating massager, and much more.
7.LyLyth Erotica
If you're looking to truly add some spice to the bedroom, look no further than LyLyth Erotica. The black-owned sex boutique is all about giving its consumers the tools needed to fulfill their deepest desires and explore their sexual boundaries. With handcrafted sex toys and a cream-colored cuffs and leather restraints, prepare to indulge a kink or two with LyLyth as your guide.
8.New York Toy Collective
New York Toy Collective was founded in 2012 by co-founders Chelsea and Parker. Their supply of high-quality intimacy products and toys not only emphasize pleasure, but also all forms of gender affirmation and expression. Due to the tech-savvy nature of the co-founders, NYTC also touts being the first and only sex toy company that harnesses 3D technology to allow for the customization of sex toys for consumers who wish to have sex toys that look like their own bodies.
9.Ardentley
Though Ardentley is a sexual wellness company and resource first, it is also a distributor of body-safe sex toys. As a believer in all things passion, its founder Tatiyanna instills confidence in others to find pleasure in themselves and for themselves through blogs and writing. Her carefully curated selection of cock rings, strokers, vibrators and suckers help too. We're just saying.
10.Hoelistic Shop
Hoelistic Shop
They honestly had me at "hoelistic." Founded by Sadea Bryant, the Hoelistic Shop wants to serve your inner hoe holistically by way of organic and body-safe products for every body, but especially black women.
11.Kolby Brianne Leather
Based in Connecticut, Kolby Brianne makes custom-sized handcrafted leather pieces through Kolby Brianne Leather. Made to order, Kolby creates her pieces with ritual and intention and does so for all body shapes and sizes. The end result are personalized items that can be worn for work and play.
12.Seduction By Lace
Seduction By Lace
A one-stop shop for your seduction needs, Seduction By Lace aims to give everyone the keys to the sexual pleasure kingdom. The owner Lace offers a collection of lingerie, toys like nipple suckers for self-pleasure in her Pleasure Collection, and a bevy of toys that speaks to your inner freak in the intentionally curated Bondage Collection.
13.Feelmore Adult
Unlike a lot of the black-owned sex brands on this list, Feelmore has an online store but also has the distinction of having a physical store as well. The Oakland based sex store founded by Nenna Joiner has an extensive inventory for any sex flavor you might have a taste for. From fisting oil and lubricant and anal training kits to restraints and dual stimulating vibrators, Feelmore is truly where it's at. Plus, their sex toy Uber Eats delivery option is icing on the proverbial cake.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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