While I'm not here to write a think-piece on a few recent events affecting the black community in America, I'm fully aware of the frustration, disgust, and utter numbness that's getting harder to suppress by my fellow African-Americans when these events make international news.
But it's extremely important for us to not only bind together in peace, but to also do what's necessary to decompress and take a break from the madness if we find it to be consuming the better part of us.
We could argue back and forth about this or we could take a break from the exhaustion of tip-toeing around people's fears for our skin color in a country we helped build, and just go somewhere where we're tolerated instead.
Last year, even our beloved Bahamas, of which 90% of the population is black, issued a travel warning for those wanting to visit the U.S. soon. Not the first time either. A sign of the times.
Although travel is an absolute privilege for so many, I want to encourage my fellow black Americans who've had their passport in hand just waiting for the opportune moment to take off temporarily, that the time is now.
While I'd love to include other continents in the mix, Europe is the one I've spent the last three years exploring the most. So it's currently the only continent I can confidently offer suggestions for cities that not only welcome black skin color, but celebrate it as well.
So without further adieu, here are my top five European city recommendations for travel when enough is enough:
1. Edinburgh, Scotland
Not only will they feel comfortable opening up to you about their life stories within seconds, but they'll invite you for a beer, banter about how much they hate England (haha, sorry Brits), and find a way to make light of any negative situation.
Collectively, they have some of the best senses of humor and while you'll only catch every third word or so due to their accents (God bless it), their charm, welcoming spirits, and laid back personalities are those of the exact type of people you need in your life.
Just don't go in the winter. Because hashtag, brutal.
2. Berlin, Germany
Berlin is jokingly known as the “poor but sexy" cousin to Munich, but is always a millennial favorite for digital nomads, gap year students, and others just in between jobs and taking time off to travel.
Germany is a pretty liberal country in general, and whether it's the crazy house parties, the endless selection of cuisines, nudist parks, or the hipster vibe dripping throughout the streets, it's a city that has something for everybody.
It's got an amazing international community, so you'll be bumping elbows with people from all walks of life on a nightly basis.
It's also goes without saying that due to the dark Nazi history of Germany, they really have no room to repeat or harbor negativity towards other cultures, and it seems like they make a deliberate effort not to do so.
3. Nice, France
Nice, which sits cozily along the French Riviera, is one of the most colorful, vivacious, and diverse cities in France.
You're in a melting pot of cultures from around the world, which again means incredibly varied cuisines, and not to mention one of the most beautiful and unique architectural layouts in Europe, because of its mixed Italian and French influence in the past.
Nice is a city I'm always happy to go back to, and if you're traveling for a longer period of time and you're short on black hair care products, you'll have no problem finding everything you need to re-stock up on here.
4. Krakow, Poland
I don't know what took me so long to discover Poland, but I finally did (thanks, Busabout!) and loved every single minute.
Not only do the Polish people stop and smile at you as you pass them on the street, but you can can feel their warmth and genuine appreciation for you being there by their expressions.
Though the basic words of the Polish language are a challenge to master, they'll smile at your attempts and will meet you more than halfway with their very high levels of English.
I mentioned it to a couple Aussies how cute it was when elderly people would see me, do a double-take, and look so amazed. And almost on cue, a lady passed by and did exactly what I described, and my Aussie friend couldn't stop laughing about it.
A Polish friend told me the other day that she'd only met two black people in her life growing up, but assured me that I wouldn't ever have a problem with not feeling welcomed, and she was right.
Everywhere I went, every restaurant I walked into alone, all eyes were on me.
But not in a terrifying way, but more so a "Wow, how cool to have a black person in our presence!" kind of way. And it's both awesome and hilarious, and I think every black person needs to experience this and be spoiled forever, lol.
While on a bike tour, our Polish guide ended his spiel with a very resounding speech about how much the Jewish community influenced the current state of Krakow, and how he's so excited about the potential of the city and welcomes all other cultures to continue coming and contributing to what makes Krakow so great. I was greatly moved by his words.
5. Budva, Montenegro
Budva is a city that's on the extreme end of how much black skin can be appreciated abroad -- but not as extreme as Italy, which you could read exactly what I'm talking about here, LOL.
But in Budva, you're not only welcomed, you're practically celebrated, as you're viewed as a celebrity as one restaurant owner confessed they get roughly two black tourists a year, and I'm sure that's an overstatement, ha.
As you're casually mistaken for a famous black celebrity or actress constantly, restaurant owners will invite you to try their main dishes, bar owners will spoil you with drinks on the house, and private beach clubs will let you lounge on their property for as long you'd like.
The red carpet is truly laid out and whether I was accepting rides on luxury yachts or signing Serena Williams' autograph by the beach (true story, he was a kid and I couldn't say no while his parents were watching), then your days are made quite nicely.
In Montenegro, they treat you like royalty, and got damn it, you are. You're magical, divine, and every bit worthy of being appreciated and not judged prematurely as a threat.
[Tweet "Black people, you are... worthy, divine, appreciated, and more."]
While these experiences will come with its fair share of people asking for selfies, understand that it'll still be far more enjoyable, because they're people who feel honored by your existence, not threatened by it.
And that makes the world of a difference.
While I have two younger, but grown brothers back home, and a future family to raise one day, the idea of permanently living abroad is sounding more and more likely.
So I'll continue scouting as many black-friendly cities around the world as possible, and to the black community back in America, stay strong, stay safe, and stay ready to move, because sometimes, enough is enough.
Black friends, see you on the other side -- where we matter, and stuff ;)
What has your travel experience been like? Have other cultures readily embraced you? Share your stories in the comment section below!
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
From $80K To $174K: The 10 Moves I Made To Double My Income & Transform My Career
Climbing the corporate ladder may not be for everyone. For me, it presents an opportunity to enhance my visibility as an experienced communicator, foster professional development, network, explore diverse job opportunities, and, most importantly, financial rewards.
In the last two years, I have focused on increasing my salary and positioning myself to get into the C-suite. Over the course of my 12-year professional career, mentors and job opportunities have bolstered my advancement from a media relations specialist to a senior manager. I started in a junior position at $80,000 annually; now, I make $174,000 ($150,000 + $24,000 bonus and stock options). After years of being unemployed and underemployed, I was finally reaping the benefits of my hard work.
Here are the 10 ways I increased my salary.
1.Know Your Worth
Understanding your market value is the first step. I regularly researched industry salary trends and adjusted my expectations accordingly. Websites like Glassdoor and LinkedIn Salary Insights were invaluable. Once you know the average salary, add tax. After accepting a salary, it is less likely you’ll see a substantial increase outside of your annual raise unless you take another role within the company.
2.Leverage Negotiations
I accepted the $80K specialist role because I knew it was a good starting salary that would increase over time. Each subsequent job offer was an opportunity to negotiate. I emphasized my growing skill set, achievements, and the unique value I could bring to the company. You can do this by providing clear examples of problem-solving and cost-saving methods you led.
3.Continuous Learning
I never stopped learning. I took courses, attended workshops, and earned certifications relevant to communications. This not only broadened my expertise but also made a compelling case during salary reviews. Your company may offer some of these options for free through LinkedIn Learning or internal professional development platforms. Other companies may have discretionary funds to use for external conferences and other tools to increase your skills.
4.Advocate Internally
While I've never experienced an internal promotion, I do know they can play a significant role in increasing your salary. Whether it’s an open position or you have reached a peak in your current role and are ready for more responsibility, make your case by highlighting your contributions, leadership qualities, and readiness for more opportunities.
5.Seek New Opportunities
Sometimes, moving up means moving out. I applied for external roles that aligned with my career goals, which ultimately led me to my current position.
In two years, I changed jobs twice, increasing my salary and benefits, like a sign-on bonus, each time. Changing jobs can often result in a significant salary bump.
6.Build a Strong Network
Networking is crucial. Mentors and professional connections provided guidance, support, and sometimes job leads. They helped me understand the industry landscape and how to position myself. In the words of Issa Rae, network across with your peers, because there are so many gems to learn from everyone.
7.Be Assertive
In my 30s, I have gained the confidence I lacked as a new graduate entering the professional field in my 20s. Now, I not only know what I want, but I ask for it too. I am a firm believer in the power of the tongue. I inform the recruiter and hiring manager of my compensation and career expectations at the onset to avoid wasting time. It’s essential to communicate your worth confidently.
8.Demonstrate Impact
Quantify your achievements. I kept a record of my successes—campaign results, project completions, and any metrics that demonstrated my impact. This data was crucial during salary negotiations and performance reviews.
9.Stay Resilient
Rejections and setbacks are part of the journey. I faced my share of both, but each experience was a learning opportunity. Staying resilient and focused on my goals kept me moving forward. Most importantly, remember you are not alone.
10.Embrace Your Journey
Every step of my journey was a testament to perseverance, continuous growth, and strategic self-advocacy. Your career path might be different, but the principles of knowing your worth, continuous learning, and assertive negotiation remain the same.
In this journey, I’ve learned that advocating for yourself is not just about negotiating a salary—it’s about recognizing your value, continuously improving, and being unafraid to chase your goals. You deserve to thrive in your career, and with these strategies, you can achieve the salary and role you aspire to.
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Featured image by PeopleImages/Getty Images