
This Couple Once Broke Up Over Money And Now They've Made It Their Mission To Teach Others About Building Wealth

Julien and Kiersten Saunders met in 2012 while working for the same company and they quickly fell for one another. However, their whirlwind romance was cut short following an extravagant vacation. When they got home from Panama, reality set in, and they were forced to have a tough conversation about money after they both had different opinions on recouping the money spent on the vacation.
Prior to their baecation, they had agreed to split everything and used credit cards to help pay their traveling costs. Julien had always been conservative with his money whereas Kiersten was a little more liberal but those differences became more glaring after Kiersten continued going out while Julien was budgeting. As a result of the fallout over money, they would ultimately break up. Shortly after, however, they decided to give their love a chance once more and are now married with a son, running a successful blog and podcast helping others to learn financial literacy and build wealth.
Their blog Rich and Regular was inspired by the conversations they had with one another about money. Launched in 2017, they have used the blog to share their personal struggles and wins regarding money as well as making it a platform for Black people to gain knowledge about investing, entrepreneurship, and much more.
“It all sort of turned into what can we do to attract more people of color, especially Black professionals to think like this, to have these conversations to think like this, to re-evaluate their careers and their approach to investing for a myriad of reasons,” Julien says. “One, obviously Black wealth is important to the Black community, two, Black marriages are a core part of that community and that equation, and three, all of the other kinds of issues that affect our community that we don’t have time to solve because our lives are basically spent working.”
According to Business Insider, opposing attitudes about money is one of the biggest culprits leading many marriages to end in divorce. Kiersten and Julien were able to overcome this hurdle that many couples face, so they know a thing or two about the importance of having the money conversation early on.
“Once you hit that part when you start talking about goals and future plans, which for some people they come out the gate with that,” says Kiersten. “They want something very serious and they want to know that the person they’re spending time with aligns [with] them and their ambitions but as soon as you start having those conversations about the kind of life that you want, money is a huge tool to enable all of that life. So, you also want to make sure there is an accommodating financial plan to try to achieve this white picket fence, home ownership, multiple children and pets, and travel.”
The Atlanta couple also wrote the book Cashing Out: Win the Wealth Game by Walking Away, a guide to reaching financial freedom, which they both have managed to do. As life partners and business partners, Kiersten and Julien have experienced many trials and errors to maintain a thriving marriage and business. They agreed that the key to being successful at both has a lot to do with the type of environment you create in the home.
“We also make it a point to play to our strengths. We do that in our marriage and in our business where regardless of what gender roles or the patriarchy or what traditional marriage advice is, if I’m not good at something or if he’s not good at something, we don’t force the issue,” Kiersten explains. “So something as simple as cooking–Julien is a professionally trained culinary student and so cooking is far easier for him to do even though traditionally women are the ones who [are] supposed to cook but he does 99% of the cooking in our household and that’s just one example."
"We really audit every task, every project, every goal that we have to decide who’s gonna do what. Nothing really is on autopilot in that way and we’re true partners. It’s a bit unconventional because a lot of people kind of opt into roles because that’s what they’ve seen done [by] their mom or their parents or on television, whereas for us, it's a conversation to be like does that make sense?”
What once broke them up now has helped them amass wealth, become financially independent, and be adept at helping others achieve similar goals. Currently, they are working on launching the Cashing Out podcast to accompany their book and they are gearing up to release season three of their YouTube series “Money on the Table.” But while a lot has changed, some things still remain the same.
“We’ve both developed hacks to get around our natural tendencies but there’s also these limits so that you don’t create conflict. I still like to spend freely,” Kiersten admits, “but my workaround is to make sure we pay ourselves first, make sure we’ve invested, make sure we’ve set aside money for savings, the bills are taken care of and then I can do whatever I want with the rest.”
Julien shares that they now respect each other’s differences and even learn from them. “We have evolved to appreciate the other person’s approach or I think more so in the broader setup, financial characteristics that you may use to define who you are as opposed to spender or saver,” Julien says. “It’s more complex than that.”
“And so I think we’ve grown to appreciate that but I also think that as your money grows, as you have more of it, and as you continue to have more conversations about money, you just kinda get better at it. So, it's not really so much of a need to be so tight as you may be or may be required to be at the beginning when you’re really trying to dig out of debt or tryna to accomplish some lofty goal. If you’re past that then you can kind of afford to ease up a little bit and I think we’ve learned to do that. I’ve learned for sure.”
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Feature image courtesy of Julien and Kiersten Saunders
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London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images