We put such an emphasis on age in our society. I even do it myself sometimes. And on my latest birthday, I almost let those feelings of inadequacy and insecurity seep into my mind as the clocks struck 12. But once I journaled and had a few moments of reflection, I realized that aging is a gift and an opportunity. It's time to ask yourself, how can I improve? Because one thing is for sure, wine isn't the only thing that gets better with time. I mean just think of your celebrity crushes, time hasn't done anything but bless them as they've gotten older, wiser, and...finer.
When I reflect on the people I look up to, I realize quite a few of them came into their prime as they aged. And if we're talking about physicality, most of my celebrity crushes have aged gracefully. I think it's because there's something so appealing about a man who is experienced and confident in who he is and his appearance. Don't believe me? Check out this list of our favorite MCMs who are 45+, then try to tell me age hasn't turned men we've always envisioned as eye candy into undeniable soul food.
Idris Elba, 52 (Married)
Idris Elba, 52 (Married)Photo by Kevin Mazur/Getty ImagesI mean, do we really need an explanation? Whether he is starring in a groundbreaking film like Mandela or a culture-changing show like The Wire, Idris Elba somehow always becomes one of our favorite characters. And Idris' amazing acting isn't the only reason why.
Nelly, 50 (Married)
Nelly, 50 (Married)Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty ImagesIs it getting hot in here, or is it just us? In 2021, Nelly was honored at the BET Hip Hop Awards and reminded us why he will always be on our MCM list.
Michael Ealy, 51 (Married)
Michael Ealy, 51 (Married)Photo by Rodin Eckenroth/Getty Images for GershRemember the scene in Think Like a Man where Michael Ealy's character (Dominic) licked Lauren's (played by Taraji P. Henson) leg? I think that may have birthed this crush. That, and the eyes.
Method Man, 53 (Married)
Method Man, 53 (Married)Photo by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images for ESSENCEHave you ever noticed that every time a woman interviews Method Man, she seems to be smiling? I don't think that it's a coincidence that his personality and charming features just draw us in!
Morris Chestnut, 55 (Married)
Morris Chestnut, 55 (Married)Photo by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images for ESSENCEBest Man, Boyz in the Hood, Like Mike – and so many more of our classics had Morris Chestnut starring in it. Looking back, I was kinda young to love a couple of these films as much as I did. But, now I appreciate their excellence and Morris Chestnut even more.
Boris Kodjoe, 51 (Married)
Boris Kodjoe, 51 (Married)Photo by Aliah Anderson/WireImageWhew, Boris Kodjoe never disappoints. And the example he and his wife set for married couples, such as Brian J. White and others, is truly beautiful.
Taye Diggs, 53 (Divorced)
Taye Diggs, 53 (Divorced)Photo by Victoria Sirakova/Getty ImagesBrown Sugar is one of my favorite movies of all time, but Taye Diggs has been in a host of other classics as well. He's been a consistent face we've seen through the years and I never get sick of seeing him. Also, if you want to check him out in something more current, check out All American on Netflix, but be prepared to binge!
Omari Hardwick, 50 (Married)
Omari Hardwick, 50 (Married)Photo by Phillip Faraone/Getty Images for Uninterrupted, LLCOmari Hardwick. What can we say about that man who melted us all between his roles as the unhappily married man whose heart was elsewhere in Power and Being Mary Jane? It was something we forgave him for, though (at times) with one look into those soulful brown eyes and at those six-pack abs. The actor/poet definitely had to make our list.
Rick Fox, 55 (Divorced)
Rick Fox, 55 (Divorced)Photo by Jim Spellman/Getty ImagesHis life is proof that some people can be a jack of all trades. I mean, Rick Fox has conquered basketball, acting, business, and so much more. The fact that he has the looks, too, almost seems unfair.
Larenz Tate, 49 (Married)
Larenz Tate, 49 (Married)Photo by Brad Barket/Getty Images for STARZI had to think long and hard about adding Mr. Larenz Tate to the list. Not because of his looks, obviously, but because this is supposed to be an ode to aging, and he literally still looks the same way he did when he was "the blues in our left thigh, trying to be the funk in our right."
Whatever skincare routine or diet he's on, I gotta try it! By the way, if you didn't get that quote, do yourself a favor and watchLove Jones, like today.
Bonus: Denzel Washington, 69 (Married)
Bonus: Denzel Washington, 69 (Married) Photo by Samir Hussein/WireImageDenzel Washington is the OG of the Hollywood heartthrobs, and his legendary career is living proof of it. At almost 70 years old, the Gladiator star continues to put the young boys to shame with his smooth ways.
Featured image by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images for ESSENCE
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
