We put such an emphasis on age in our society. I even do it myself sometimes. And on my latest birthday, I almost let those feelings of inadequacy and insecurity seep into my mind as the clocks struck 12. But once I journaled and had a few moments of reflection, I realized that aging is a gift and an opportunity. It's time to ask yourself, how can I improve? Because one thing is for sure, wine isn't the only thing that gets better with time. I mean just think of your celebrity crushes, time hasn't done anything but bless them as they've gotten older, wiser, and...finer.
When I reflect on the people I look up to, I realize quite a few of them came into their prime as they aged. And if we're talking about physicality, most of my celebrity crushes have aged gracefully. I think it's because there's something so appealing about a man who is experienced and confident in who he is and his appearance. Don't believe me? Check out this list of our favorite MCMs who are 45+, then try to tell me age hasn't turned men we've always envisioned as eye candy into undeniable soul food.
Idris Elba, 52 (Married)
Idris Elba, 52 (Married)Photo by Kevin Mazur/Getty ImagesI mean, do we really need an explanation? Whether he is starring in a groundbreaking film like Mandela or a culture-changing show like The Wire, Idris Elba somehow always becomes one of our favorite characters. And Idris' amazing acting isn't the only reason why.
Nelly, 50 (Married)
Nelly, 50 (Married)Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty ImagesIs it getting hot in here, or is it just us? In 2021, Nelly was honored at the BET Hip Hop Awards and reminded us why he will always be on our MCM list.
Michael Ealy, 51 (Married)
Michael Ealy, 51 (Married)Photo by Rodin Eckenroth/Getty Images for GershRemember the scene in Think Like a Man where Michael Ealy's character (Dominic) licked Lauren's (played by Taraji P. Henson) leg? I think that may have birthed this crush. That, and the eyes.
Method Man, 53 (Married)
Method Man, 53 (Married)Photo by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images for ESSENCEHave you ever noticed that every time a woman interviews Method Man, she seems to be smiling? I don't think that it's a coincidence that his personality and charming features just draw us in!
Morris Chestnut, 55 (Married)
Morris Chestnut, 55 (Married)Photo by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images for ESSENCEBest Man, Boyz in the Hood, Like Mike – and so many more of our classics had Morris Chestnut starring in it. Looking back, I was kinda young to love a couple of these films as much as I did. But, now I appreciate their excellence and Morris Chestnut even more.
Boris Kodjoe, 51 (Married)
Boris Kodjoe, 51 (Married)Photo by Aliah Anderson/WireImageWhew, Boris Kodjoe never disappoints. And the example he and his wife set for married couples, such as Brian J. White and others, is truly beautiful.
Taye Diggs, 53 (Divorced)
Taye Diggs, 53 (Divorced)Photo by Victoria Sirakova/Getty ImagesBrown Sugar is one of my favorite movies of all time, but Taye Diggs has been in a host of other classics as well. He's been a consistent face we've seen through the years and I never get sick of seeing him. Also, if you want to check him out in something more current, check out All American on Netflix, but be prepared to binge!
Omari Hardwick, 50 (Married)
Omari Hardwick, 50 (Married)Photo by Phillip Faraone/Getty Images for Uninterrupted, LLCOmari Hardwick. What can we say about that man who melted us all between his roles as the unhappily married man whose heart was elsewhere in Power and Being Mary Jane? It was something we forgave him for, though (at times) with one look into those soulful brown eyes and at those six-pack abs. The actor/poet definitely had to make our list.
Rick Fox, 55 (Divorced)
Rick Fox, 55 (Divorced)Photo by Jim Spellman/Getty ImagesHis life is proof that some people can be a jack of all trades. I mean, Rick Fox has conquered basketball, acting, business, and so much more. The fact that he has the looks, too, almost seems unfair.
Larenz Tate, 49 (Married)
Larenz Tate, 49 (Married)Photo by Brad Barket/Getty Images for STARZI had to think long and hard about adding Mr. Larenz Tate to the list. Not because of his looks, obviously, but because this is supposed to be an ode to aging, and he literally still looks the same way he did when he was "the blues in our left thigh, trying to be the funk in our right."
Whatever skincare routine or diet he's on, I gotta try it! By the way, if you didn't get that quote, do yourself a favor and watchLove Jones, like today.
Bonus: Denzel Washington, 69 (Married)
Bonus: Denzel Washington, 69 (Married) Photo by Samir Hussein/WireImageDenzel Washington is the OG of the Hollywood heartthrobs, and his legendary career is living proof of it. At almost 70 years old, the Gladiator star continues to put the young boys to shame with his smooth ways.
Featured image by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images for ESSENCE
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Fortunately, five simple words have simplified my dating process and ushered in clarity faster: “Would my husband do this?”
A couple of years ago, I met an entertainment lawyer who was tonguing down a twenty-something-year-old woman for breakfast while I slurped my green smoothie and chomped on a flatbread sandwich. Okay, Black love, I grinned and thought as I sauntered out of the Joe & The Juice. As soon as I stepped down from the front door, a torrential downpour of Miami summer rain cascaded and throttled me back inside to wait out the storm.
I grabbed a hot green tea and vacillated between peering out the wet door and anxiously checking my watch. My lengthy agenda started with attending the Tabitha Brown and Chance Brown’s “Black Love” panel, and I was already late. That’s when the lawyer introduced himself to me, after he made a joke about neither one of us wanting to get soaked by the rain. His female companion had braved the storm, leaving us to find our commonalities.
We both lived in L.A. and had traveled to the American Black Film Festival to expand our network. He represented various artists, including entertainment writers, while I was working as a writer/creative producer in Hollywood.
While there is no shortage of internet advice on how to strategically meet a prominent man at conferences, if I spend my hard-earned funds on career growth, I have tunnel vision, and that doesn’t include finding Mr. Right. So, I stowed his contact details away as strictly professional.
Keep It Cute Love And Hip Hop GIFGiphyAs the humidity and mosquitoes were rising around L.A., two months later, another suitor-turned-terrible match cooled off after three unimpressive dates and a bevy of red flags. I posted what some of my friends called a thirst trap, but it was really me wearing a black freakum jumpsuit with a plunging neckline to my friend’s 35th birthday soiree despite feeling oh, so unsexy and bloated on my cycle.
I’d been waiting to post a sassy caption and finally had the perfect picture to match: “You not asking for too much, you just asking the wrong MF.”
That’s when the entertainment lawyer swooped into my DMs and asked me to dinner. I was quite confused. Is he asking me on a date? Or is this professional? Common sense would’ve picked the former. Once it clicked that this would in fact be a date, I told my mentor, who’s been happily married for over twenty years and has often been a guiding light and has steered me away from the wrong men.
Upon telling him about how we met, he emphatically stated, “He ain’t it.” He followed up with a simple question, "You have to ask yourself: Would my husband do this? Would you tell others that you met your husband, tonguing down another woman, and later married him?"
Aint It No Way GIF by UFCGiphyOuch. The thought-provoking question cleared any haze. Prior to going out with the lawyer, the first thing I inquired about was the woman.
“You saw that?” He said, taken aback that I’d witnessed his steamy PDA. Surely, anyone with two open eyes peeped him caressing her backside as he kissed her in the middle of the coffee shop.
He brushed her off as a casual someone he’d gone on a couple of dates with but had since stopped talking to. He said he hadn’t been in a serious relationship in over three years. Though I was still doubtful, dating in L.A. is treacherous and ephemeral. Making it past three months is considered a rarity.
With my antennae alert, I dined with him at a cozy beachside steakhouse restaurant where we were serenaded by a live jazz band. I’d emphasized forming a platonic friendship first.
Break Up Friendship GIF by TLCGiphy“I’ll come to you,” he obliged. I liked that he had made me a priority by driving over 50 miles to see me. I also liked the effort he made to check in with me daily. But I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he initiated on a professional pretense and then alley hooped through the back door on a romantic venture, which bombarded me with confusion.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my dating life, God is not the author of confusion; any man who brings confusion, rather than clarity, is simply not The One. It doesn’t matter how many boxes he checks–eventually, that confusion will manifest itself into bigger problems, in time.
After diving into deeper conversations on the phone, post our first dinner date, I quickly realized this man was indeed not The One for me. But I’m grateful for the valuable lesson I learned.
I don’t expect some unattainable fairytale of a husband; we all have our own flaws and conflict is inevitable, but after dating for two decades, through failure and success, I’ve realized that the person I ultimately marry must mirror the values I exert into the world. He must reciprocate kindness, patience, and respect. He must be quick to listen and slow to respond. He needs to be forgiving and trustworthy, practice healthy communication, and be a man of his word at the bare minimum.
If I’d had “Would my husband do this?” in my toolbox when I was dating and floundering in stagnant relationships, in my twenties, it would’ve saved me a lot of precious time. But now that I’m equipped with the reminder, it’s allowed me to ground myself in my non-negotiables and set/maintain the standard for the special person, I’ll one day say, “I do,” to.
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