We put such an emphasis on age in our society. I even do it myself sometimes. And on my latest birthday, I almost let those feelings of inadequacy and insecurity seep into my mind as the clocks struck 12. But once I journaled and had a few moments of reflection, I realized that aging is a gift and an opportunity. It's time to ask yourself, how can I improve? Because one thing is for sure, wine isn't the only thing that gets better with time. I mean just think of your celebrity crushes, time hasn't done anything but bless them as they've gotten older, wiser, and...finer.
When I reflect on the people I look up to, I realize quite a few of them came into their prime as they aged. And if we're talking about physicality, most of my celebrity crushes have aged gracefully. I think it's because there's something so appealing about a man who is experienced and confident in who he is and his appearance. Don't believe me? Check out this list of our favorite MCMs who are 45+, then try to tell me age hasn't turned men we've always envisioned as eye candy into undeniable soul food.
Idris Elba, 52 (Married)
Idris Elba, 52 (Married)Photo by Kevin Mazur/Getty ImagesI mean, do we really need an explanation? Whether he is starring in a groundbreaking film like Mandela or a culture-changing show like The Wire, Idris Elba somehow always becomes one of our favorite characters. And Idris' amazing acting isn't the only reason why.
Nelly, 50 (Married)
Nelly, 50 (Married)Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty ImagesIs it getting hot in here, or is it just us? In 2021, Nelly was honored at the BET Hip Hop Awards and reminded us why he will always be on our MCM list.
Michael Ealy, 51 (Married)
Michael Ealy, 51 (Married)Photo by Rodin Eckenroth/Getty Images for GershRemember the scene in Think Like a Man where Michael Ealy's character (Dominic) licked Lauren's (played by Taraji P. Henson) leg? I think that may have birthed this crush. That, and the eyes.
Method Man, 53 (Married)
Method Man, 53 (Married)Photo by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images for ESSENCEHave you ever noticed that every time a woman interviews Method Man, she seems to be smiling? I don't think that it's a coincidence that his personality and charming features just draw us in!
Morris Chestnut, 55 (Married)
Morris Chestnut, 55 (Married)Photo by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images for ESSENCEBest Man, Boyz in the Hood, Like Mike – and so many more of our classics had Morris Chestnut starring in it. Looking back, I was kinda young to love a couple of these films as much as I did. But, now I appreciate their excellence and Morris Chestnut even more.
Boris Kodjoe, 51 (Married)
Boris Kodjoe, 51 (Married)Photo by Aliah Anderson/WireImageWhew, Boris Kodjoe never disappoints. And the example he and his wife set for married couples, such as Brian J. White and others, is truly beautiful.
Taye Diggs, 53 (Divorced)
Taye Diggs, 53 (Divorced)Photo by Victoria Sirakova/Getty ImagesBrown Sugar is one of my favorite movies of all time, but Taye Diggs has been in a host of other classics as well. He's been a consistent face we've seen through the years and I never get sick of seeing him. Also, if you want to check him out in something more current, check out All American on Netflix, but be prepared to binge!
Omari Hardwick, 50 (Married)
Omari Hardwick, 50 (Married)Photo by Phillip Faraone/Getty Images for Uninterrupted, LLCOmari Hardwick. What can we say about that man who melted us all between his roles as the unhappily married man whose heart was elsewhere in Power and Being Mary Jane? It was something we forgave him for, though (at times) with one look into those soulful brown eyes and at those six-pack abs. The actor/poet definitely had to make our list.
Rick Fox, 55 (Divorced)
Rick Fox, 55 (Divorced)Photo by Jim Spellman/Getty ImagesHis life is proof that some people can be a jack of all trades. I mean, Rick Fox has conquered basketball, acting, business, and so much more. The fact that he has the looks, too, almost seems unfair.
Larenz Tate, 49 (Married)
Larenz Tate, 49 (Married)Photo by Brad Barket/Getty Images for STARZI had to think long and hard about adding Mr. Larenz Tate to the list. Not because of his looks, obviously, but because this is supposed to be an ode to aging, and he literally still looks the same way he did when he was "the blues in our left thigh, trying to be the funk in our right."
Whatever skincare routine or diet he's on, I gotta try it! By the way, if you didn't get that quote, do yourself a favor and watchLove Jones, like today.
Bonus: Denzel Washington, 69 (Married)
Bonus: Denzel Washington, 69 (Married) Photo by Samir Hussein/WireImageDenzel Washington is the OG of the Hollywood heartthrobs, and his legendary career is living proof of it. At almost 70 years old, the Gladiator star continues to put the young boys to shame with his smooth ways.
Featured image by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images for ESSENCE
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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