Just in case you missed it, last night at the CFDAs, Beyoncé accepted the Style Icon Award from well-known fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg.
While Queen B looked amazing as always, it was her acceptance speech that was most memorable and touching. As she took to the podium, she spoke gracefully and humbly about her family roots and how fashion has always played a deeper role in her family throughout generations.
Here are the top 4 things that we can all learn from Beyoncé's CFDA's acceptance speech.
1. The work you do is greater than you
“Fashion has always been a part of my life. Its affect on me started before I was born. Most of you don't know this, but my grandmother was a seamstress. My grandparents did not have enough money and could not afford my mother's Catholic school tuition, so my grandmother's sewed clothes for the priests and the nuns and made the uniforms for the students in exchange for my mother's education. She then passed this gift down to my mother and taught her how to sew.”
Often as Millennials, we yearn for instant gratification. We work hard, and expect immediate results and become confused and lose hope when the coins don’t magically overflow our bank accounts. Just like Beyoncé's dear, beloved grandmother Agnéz Deréon, she worked hard to give her daughter Tina Knowles the life and education she knew they deserved. Agnéz Deréon also knew how her talent of sewing helped her create a better life for Tina Knowles so she embedded the same knowledge in Tina growing up. It’s possible that Agnéz Deréon didn’t realize it decades ago, but the hard work that she put in is what spearheaded the wealth of success that Beyoncé has now.
[Tweet "The work you do is greater than you."]
2. Never take “no” for an answer
“When we were starting out in Destiny's Child, high-end labels didn't really want to dress four black, country, curvy girls, and we couldn't afford designer dresses and couture. My mother was rejected from every showroom in New York, but like my grandmother, she used her talent and creativity to give her children her dreams. My mother and my uncle Johnny, God rest his soul, designed all of our first costumes and made each piece by hand, individual sewing hundreds of crystals and pearls, putting so much passion and love into every small detail. And when I wore those clothes I felt like Khaleesi.”
While she could have just given up on her love of fashion when she was rejected, Tina Knowles remained faithful and confident in her God-given talent of designing clothes. Because Mrs. Tina remained fearless, she is one of the reason’s why Beyonce is known for her iconic fashion.
3. Your impact and inner appearance is what matters most, not your physical beauty
“My mother actually designed my wedding dress, my prom dress, my first CDFA dress, my first Grammy dress, and the list goes on and on and on. And this to me is the true power and potential of fashion. It's a tool for finding your own identity, expression and strength. It transcends style and is a time capsule of all of our greatest milestones.”
Sometimes we are so worried about our outer appearance, that we forget what matters most: our influence to those around us. We should all aspire to inspire someone. No matter what resources you have versus what you think you should have, never lose site of your own identity and what makes you unique. Use your God-given talents to make an impact on the world, an impact so strong that will still matter even after your time on Earth has passed.
4. You have the power to create the world you want to live in
“I want to say thank you to every designer that works tirelessly to make people feel they can write their own story. I encourage you to not forget this power that you have, or take it lightly. We have an opportunity to contribute to a society where any girl can look at a billboard or a magazine cover and see her own reflection. Soul has no color, no shape, no form. Just like all of your work if goes so far beyond what they eyes can see. You have the power to change perception, to inspire, and empower, to show people how to embrace their complications and see the flaws and true beauty, and strength that's inside of all of us.”
In our own line of profession, we should aim to have influence those around us. The job that you get up to go to everyday is more than “just a job”. In a world where ridiculous and shameful female stereotypes and ideals currently exist, we each have the power to change how the world sees us. If you are a manager or work in HR, hire more women if your organization has few. If you work in digital media, show more positive images of women in your blogs, in your music, and in your television shows so that young girls and young women can have a image of influential and powerful womanhood. If you are a mother, teach your daughters now to never let stereotypes take away their voice and confidence. Teach your daughters and young women in your family that they can do whatever they put their minds to. Remember, you have the power to change the way the world sees you, your daughter, sister, other young girls, and girls and women of our future.
[Tweet "You have the power to create the world you want to live in."]
If you didn't catch Beyoncé's acceptance speech, check it out below!
Brittani Hunter is a proud PVAMU alumni and the founder of The Mogul Millennial, a business and career platform for Black Millennials. Meet Brittani on Twitter and on the Gram at @BrittaniLHunter and @mogulmillennial.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Everything You Need To Do Today To Enjoy Your Future PTO In Peace
Being a 9-to-5 powerhouse has its perks, from stable benefits to consistent schedules to great opportunities for professional development, but one thing you're not going to do this year is neglect the use of that paid time off (PTO).
While it might seem like a popular narrative on social to quit a job and live life freely traveling the world (or doing nothing), there's absolutely no shame in loving the practice of going into an office three to five days a week, getting that bi-weekly notification that your direct deposit hit your account, and enjoying multiple stints of PTO throughout the year.
That being said, here's how to take full advantage of the PTO benefits you not only negotiated but deserve (and in some states or according to some contracts, you're entitled to by law.)
1. If you're about to accept a job offer, ask about expanded PTO even if the company's policy is strict about not negotiating it.
Before you accept a job offer, you should talk to your future employer or HR manager about the PTO portion of your benefits package. This is especially important when you know you have major events coming up this year (a destination wedding, surgery, an anniversary, or that solo birthday trip you've been wanting to do for the past five years).
Negotiate for ample time to accommodate those special events. You don't have to be specific about how you're using the time or why you need it. Simply ensure that the amount of PTO they're offering and in what capacity will accommodate your participation.
If they're only offering two weeks of PTO and you have things you need to do outside of work where you'll need days off, be sure to speak and ask, "Can we discuss updating the PTO to three weeks of PTO if I am able to do x, y, and z?" or "How flexible is the one week of PTO in being increased to four weeks?"
And while experts say that some companies have strict no-negotiation policies when it comes to PTO (and will offer more money instead), they also recommend asking for an alternative like working more hours four days a week, for example, to have the fifth day off in the case that this happens.
2. If you're already employed, put in your PTO requests early (at least 90 days in advance if possible.)
Since we're still in the early stages of January, you'll have a bit of a time advantage when you plan adequately and well ahead. This also helps when there's an issue of first-come-first-serve requests or seniority. The earlier you make a request, experts say, the better. Don't make the mistake of waiting two weeks or even a month before you need to take off if you know about that trip or special occasion well ahead of time. Get those dates blocked off and out of the way as soon as possible.
Sometimes schedules can be amended or a bit more flexible when your manager already knows you've made a request long ago and was diligent about it.
There's another advantage to this: In the event that the request is denied (and sometimes this is for very valid reasons despite what the social media streets say), the earlier you request, the better able you are to adjust your plans or find other ways to accommodate the original request (i.e., ask a coworker to switch days with you, prepare an offer to your employer that might justify a reconsideration of the denial, or figure out how you can budget and take the day off anyway.)
3. Schedule PTO around the paid holiday closure policies of your company.
This might seem like a no-brainer, but sometimes when we're in the thick of working, we forget that there are holidays when the company has allotted the offices to be closed (or at least at less capacity when it comes to present professionals required to be available). Get into those three- or four-day workweeks and plan your vacations, self-care trips, and other times when you want to be out of the office around those office closures.
Some months even have back-to-back holidays when you can leverage working remotely for a few days out of a week and continue with a two-week break.
The office closure policies are unique to each company, and they can change year over year, so simply inquire at the beginning of the year about updates on a confirmed calendar of closures, or be diligent about looking out for the company when HR managers release the information.
4. Be more diligent with your time management, productivity, and setting boundaries.
Enjoying PTO isn't just about the time you have off. It's also about how you spend that time. If you're still answering emails and putting out fires over the phone while beachside in Bali, what's the point? Start today with setting boundaries (via one-on-one conversations with your team or manager about how much you value your time off and how they can effectively communicate with you (or vice versa) during those times).
Set up systems where you're spending your time wisely before your PTO kicks in versus indulging in workplace time-wasters, manually responding to common inquiries (Hello, use AI!), or neglecting to automate and delegate the parts of your job that should be.
When you're able to put systems in place that allow you to do your job not only well, but with ease, you're more likely to really enjoy that time off, whether you're on an excursion, handling a tough life situation, or doing nothing at all.
5. Create cultures of family and friend support when it comes to how you use your PTO.
Your time off often includes the ones you love, so even though you're being paid during your downtime, it's important that your family is on board with whatever vibe will accommodate that time spent. Talk with your partner or spouse about your paid time off and how you like to use it. Make sure your values align with friends and family so that there aren't unreasonable or stressful expectations about how you'll spend that time.
And when you can, schedule those necessary or not-so-fun appointments (healthcare visits, school meetings, etc.) for breaks during your actual work day so you won't be using good PTO to do those things.
Block out dates for certain appointments that come out every year, and schedule the next appointment while you're already at the office, school, or clinic. Hire that cleaner, delegate parenting duties, and get the help you need so that more of your PTO can be used for self-care, reflection, and fun. You deserve a bit more ease, balance, and a couple of real breaks this year.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Visivasnc/Getty Images