OK so boom, I like to masturbate. Whether I'm single or not, I make masturbation a part of my sexual self-care routine. However, I know the topic of masturbating can still be uncomfortable for a lot of women. Aside from pleasure, masturbation is an enjoyable experience that any woman should take pride and confidence in with herself. It is a profound way to practice self-exploration and self-discovery. Masturbation gives you the keys to understanding what you like to do and what you like to be done to you.
If you find yourself intrigued by sex and masturbation, but don't know where to start, a dope resource is the Instagram account Sexual Essentials. On it, you can learn essential sex tips (including solo sex) and access classes that help you reach your climax like hands-on masturbation, squirting 101, foreplay, and vaginal orgasms, to name a few. For any woman looking for the best tips and toys to use for solo sex, the founder and sex educator behind Sexual Essentials, Samia Burton, is a vessel of knowledge.
"I realized the first time I had successful masturbation, I never had a real orgasm and I was disappointed," she revealed. "After I got into masturbation, I started playing with certain things and it was just easier. You can tell someone, 'Hey do this,' because you felt it before. That matters!"
For women who struggle with having orgasms during sex, indulging in solo sex can be a powerful tool in getting into the flow of sex and taking control of your vagina. The end result could make it easier to achieve orgasm through sex. Samia explained,
"A lot of people don't understand orgasms are like muscle memory, so the more you orgasm the easier it will be to have another one. Also, the more you orgasm, the more you will wake the vaginal area up. Masturbation bought my sex life back and I had stronger orgasms after, but it took work."
When it comes to the work Samia speaks of, the sex toy you use matters. You need the right toy to give you the feeling and the climax you want to reach. I would just pick up a vibrator and go because I know that as long as my clit was stimulated I was good, but Samia quickly let me know that the right toy makes a difference during your solo sex sessions. As we get through this list, remember to keep an open mind and eventually open legs…
With that being said, here are the best toys for solo sex.
Satisfyer Pro Traveler Clitoral Stimulator
Satisfyer Pro
This is a travel-friendly clitoral stimulator with 11 speeds and a circular suction tip settles easily into place over your clit to help suck and throb when you're ready.
Pipe Dream’s Icicle dildo #55
Pipe Dream
The long and sleek double-ended dildo offers two oppositely-angled tips and a shaft-like texture for each. It's curved into nubs and swirls to give you a real dick-like feel while hitting that G-spot. Tip: make sure you're getting #55, that's the one you really want.
Basix Dildo w/ Suction Cup
This is another hands-free option with harness compatibility, suction-based Basix dildo from the Rubber Works collection. The 6.5 Inch Basix is made from a jelly rubber that's latex and flexible enough to get the perfect positioning, but firm enough to satisfy.
Fantasy For Her Ultimate Pleasure Clitoral Pump
Fantasy For Her
This toy has me the most intrigued. Not only is it a clitoral pump, but it actually has a tongue-like stimulator that's soft and temperature-sensitive. It licks and gyrates tirelessly which makes it perfect for your clit, nipples, and anywhere else you'd like. On the other end, there's a G-spot-loving silicone portion with 10 modes of vibration. Lastly, it comes with two suctions so you can attach it to the wall and really turn sh*t up.
Lubricant
This is not a sex toy per se, but necessary in the bedroom especially for solo sex. Samia recommends keeping some in your bedside drawer. Some good brands for lubricants are Astroglide and K-Y Jelly. You can also check out our cheat sheet for everything you need to know about using lubricants.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Now, with more than 20 years of experience in professional aviation, starting with American Eagle Airlines and then on to becoming a captain at American Airlines, she has continued to pay it forward. In 2022, she made history as the first commercial airline captain to lead an all-Black, women-led flight crew. She has also written a biography on Bessie Coleman, the first African-American and Native-American woman to earn a pilot’s license, and produced and directed, Discovering Bessie Coleman, working alongside the family to get the project completed. Add to that her role as a founder of consulting firm LadyAv8rBeth, which offers a guide of pathways into aviation, and as a podcast host covering all things aviation.
For Women’s History Month, xoNecole caught up with the busy pilot, in between flights, to talk about her career journey, her role in a Bessie Coleman documentary and book, how she balances self-care and safety, and how other Black women can add to the aviation legacy:
xoNecole: You’ve built an successful career in aviation. And you were only 15 and already had your first flight. Were you afraid at all, or did it feel like second nature to you?
Beth Powell: It felt completely natural. There was no fear, just excitement and curiosity.
Now, it’s what they call STEM, and my teacher at the time thought that I was really good at numbers. He recommended three career paths, and I tried the first one.
I didn't understand why it made sense back then at 15, but as I grew up and met other pilots, I recognized that the reason I liked math and physics was that we were technical learners. So we like to break things apart and put them back together. We like to check procedures. We like to write manuals. We were technical artists.
xoN: That’s such an important message. Many young women and girls are often discouraged from pursuing careers in STEM or aviation, so it’s incredible to hear your story. Now, fast forward a bit—how did you transition into your corporate career with larger airlines?
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BP: After that first discovery flight, I quickly finished my high school classes and graduated at 16. By 17, I had earned my private pilot’s license, and by 18, my commercial license. Then, I moved to the U.S. to attend flight school in Florida. While working on my degree in professional aeronautics, I began working for American Eagle Airlines at just 21. Over the years, I’ve built my career and have now spent 25 years in the airline industry, including 14 years at American Eagle and 11 years at American Airlines. In terms of leadership, being a captain is key.
As a captain, I’m responsible for the aircraft, the crew, and the passengers. It’s a huge responsibility, and you learn a lot about leadership when you’re in charge of so much.
Being a captain definitely teaches you leadership. You’re in charge of every aspect of the flight from the moment you sign in to the moment you sign out. From overseeing the crew to managing the safety and well-being of passengers, you have to make quick decisions and take responsibility. Even when you’re starting out as a first officer, you’re learning vital leadership skills that prepare you for the captain role.
xoN: There's a lot going on with airlines right now that might make someone feel afraid in terms of some of the tragedies that have recently happened. How do you sustain your self-care balance and your resilience in the aviation industry when those sorts of things happen?
BP: I truly believe that aviation is still the safest and the No. 1 safest means of transportation. I say that proudly. For any airline, any pilot, any air traffic controller—anyone who works in the industry—safety is our number one priority. However, of course, we see things happening in the news, and it is concerning to passengers.
What I'm telling everybody to do right now, including myself, is that it's very important to have your source of strength. I'm a Christian, and one of my sources of strength is prayers. I go deep within my prayers every morning, and I pray to God, giving things that I can't control to him, and the rest— I can do my best to deal with.
No. 2 is meditation on the Deepak Chopra app. Ever since COVID happened, that was the first time I thought that I needed something more than just my prayers to help me go through to calm down the noise around me.
And last but not least, I'm really big on self-development. I read, I read, and I read. If your foundation is strong, you have something to build from. And so, when I read, I learn a lot about myself. I learn about what triggers me and when something triggers me. I literally hear the Kendrick Lamar song, "TV Off" in my head, because sometimes you need to shut the noise off.
xoN: That's amazing—the combination of faith and just being excellent at what you do. Now, how did you get involved with the Bessie Coleman project?
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BP: I sit on the board of advisers for an organization called Sisters of the Skies, and was at a gala celebrating with all our Black women of our achievements. At the end of the night, Dr. Sheila Chamberlain walked up to me. She was the first Black woman U.S. combat intelligence aviator in the Army. So, if she's walking up to me, it's very serious. She said, ‘I have a favor to ask.’ I said, ‘Yes.’ I did not hear what the favor was. I didn't know what she was going to ask me, but somebody like that walking up to you saying, ‘a favor’? The answer is yes.
She told me [the project involved] helping the Bessie Coleman family elevate the story. ‘I'd like you to ask your company if they will do a flight in honor of Bessie Coleman.’ I went to the different departments at American Airlines, and the rest was literally history. We did that flight on August 8, 2022, and it became a historical flight because everyone on that flight, from the ground up, was a Black woman.
Gigi Coleman, Bessie’s grand-niece, was also on that flight. We started chatting at the end of the flight. Another night, we were hanging out—Sheila, Gigi, and I—and she kept telling me she wanted to write a book, that she wished there was a movie, and that people approached her about it. Nothing had been done as yet. And I thought, sounds like another mission.
I literally took it on. We do have a documentary with the family sharing their perspective of who Bessie Coleman is. And we do have a book called Queen of the Skies.
xoN: For the young women who are looking for career paths in aviation, what are some skills they need to thrive?
BP: While you don't necessarily have to love math to be a pilot, technical knowledge is important. You’ll need to understand aircraft systems and aerodynamics. This includes weather patterns and instrument training. It might seem daunting at first, but the great thing about flight training is that it builds on itself. The more you learn, the more it all clicks. Also, aviation is constantly changing, and you need to be adaptable.
It’s a field where you need to be ready for anything, from unexpected weather to technical issues. Being open to learning new things and adjusting to change is crucial.
My daughter, who has her private pilot’s license, once said, “This journey is both challenging and rewarding. I feel like I’ve grown so much since starting.” It’s important to keep going, even when it gets tough.
To help others, I’m outlining how they can go from “zero to hero” as a pilot. I offer this information freely on my Instagram account, and it’s something I’m passionate about sharing. I want everyone to have access to the resources they need to follow their dreams.
For more information on Beth Powell, the Bessie Coleman documentary, and aviation career resources, visit LadyAv8rBeth.com.
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