Even though I work with mostly married couples, that doesn’t mean some of my clients aren’t engaged or single (which I personally classify as being not married or betrothed). And y’all, if there is one thing that I will advise single folks on — male and female alike — when it comes to intimacy, specifically, it’s please do not choose someone for the long run who is merely “good at sex;” instead, select an individual who enjoys it because there is a really big difference between the two.
It has been my professional observation (20 years in at this point) that people who are good at coitus can oftentimes find ways to weaponize, manipulate, and gaslight with it. People who enjoy it, though? Within them, there is a natural level of enthusiasm, joy and, even if they aren’t all that masterful, skill and technique-wise, at the acts(s), they are more than willing to learn (or customize).
The Oral Sex Gap: What Statistics Reveal About Giving and Receiving
Oral sex isn’t exempt here — and boy, when it comes to that topic, there are layers abundant. Although I’m pretty sure that no one is shocked that both fellatio and cunnilingus are acts that are hella popular and even preferred to actual intercourse (well, at least when it comes to women), what may surprise you is that while reportedly only 28 percent of women actually enjoy giving head, they still tend to go down on men way more than men go down on them (well, us — check out “What?! Only 35 Percent Of Men Go Down? Say It Ain’t So.”).
Not only that but I can’t tell you how many men and women have said to me that if there is one thing they wish would improve when it comes to experiencing intimacy with their partner, it’s oral sex — sometimes when it comes to receiving, sometimes when it comes to giving…sometimes when it comes to both.
Y’all, it would truly suck (absolutely no pun intended here) to go into (wow!) a quarter of this century and not be able to say by the end of it that 2025 was the year that you got some of the best cunnilingus — and gave some of the best fellatio — ever. And so, please take a moment to review a few helpful give-and-receive oral sex hacks. Nothing below is super revelatory or complex. If anything, they’re all just reminders that a bit of tweaking can lead to some totally mind-blowing oral action. It’s damn near guaranteed.
How to Make 2025 the Year of Mind-Blowing Oral Sex
GIVE: Be More Enthusiastic
GiphyJust like I write about sex a lot, I also talk to people about it quite a bit — and when it comes to fellatio, although I do hear some men express that they wish their partner would improve in the technique department, what is conveyed even more is that they think their partners lack in the enthusiasm department; enthusiasm in the sense that no one wants to feel like someone is going down on them when they would rather do just about anything but. SMDH.
Enthusiasm is all about approaching something earnestly, eagerly, and with a lot of passion. It’s about doing something because YOU want to, not just because it’s expected of you.
And so, if you know that you lack enthusiasm and it’s genuinely because you feel a bit self-conscious because you don’t think that you’re as good at going down as you would like, first check out articles on the platform like “Are You Ready To Amp Up Your Oral Sex Game? Try This.,” “12 Things You Should Do During Oral (That You Probably Aren't)” and “Umm...Wanna Learn How To Swallow? Try These 10 Hacks.”
And what if you struggle with zeal because you really don’t like doing it? Well, check out “Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?” and then be ready to have an open and honest (yet kind) conversation with your partner. Sometimes just getting that off of your chest can release a lot of pressure, so that you two can figure out something that will work for you both…together.
RECEIVE: Be More Communicative
GiphySomething else that I have noticed is A LOT of people sure do have egos when it comes to oral sex — this time, I mean in the giving department. It’s kind of wild (and unfortunate) too because it’s pretty unrealistic to think that just because a hot mouth is around genitalia, that should automatically mean that undeniable pleasure will ensue. Nah, the only way that anyone is going to get the type of oral sex pleasure that they long for is if they are willing to openly and effectively communicate with their partner.
And no, I don’t mean barking orders around. I mean, mastering the art of dirty talk which means watching your tone (make sure it’s inviting), clearly expressing what feels good and also being patient throughout the process. Y’all, the reality is that, although the acts of sex are somewhat generalized, each of us has individual “edits” that we like to have made — and there’s no way that your partner will know that unless you speak up. So…SPEAK. UP (check out “How To Make Him Better At Oral (Without Putting Him On The Spot)”).
GIVE: Master the Frenulum
GiphyThe underside of a man’s penis that is closest to his scrotum (balls)? That is called his frenulum. Since it’s considered to be the most sensitive part of a man’s penis, that’s why it definitely deserves some extra special attention when you’re giving a guy oral sex. You can do this by using your fingers to act like you’re sending a text (or playing a flute) while you are performing fellatio. You can put an ice cube in your mouth and lick the base of his penis so that he can experience some temperature play.
You can get your favorite sex condiment (check out “12 ‘Sex Condiments’ That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”), apply it to his penis, and then lick the base as if it were an ice cream cone. You can put a vibrator on his frenulum while he’s in your mouth. You can lick the tip while using a penis massager like the Arcwave Ion Penis Stimulator (which uses airwaves as its main stimuli). The bottom line with this giving tip is to remember that just like your clitoris is the most sensitive part of your vulva, his frenulum is the most sensitive part of his penis — so, if you want to blow his mind, you simply shouldn’t ignore it.
P.S. To be fair, if a man is circumcised, he may only have a partial frenulum or he may not have one at all; however, because there still tend to be quite a few nerve endings at the base of a man’s penis, it still can be stimulated, so still give it some TLC either way.
RECEIVE: Have Him Give You “Cunnilingus Foreplay”
GiphyMaybe it’s just me, but I don’t get how there is foreplay for intercourse and not foreplay for oral sex. Hmph. Maybe it’s because far too many people see fellatio and cunnilingus as foreplay — I don’t, though. In my eyes, they are both types of sex which means they both deserve some “pregaming” action, if you know what I mean. On the cunnilingus tip, I think that men should be encouraged to kiss their inner thighs more and keep their partner’s underwear on longer.
Licking on top of panties, using ice for its own cunnilingus-focused temperature play, pulling panties in and while gently sucking on a woman’s vaginal lips (which stimulates her clitoris due to the pressure of the fabric that is on it) — these are all examples of doing just what foreplay does: serve as a prelude to sex.
That said, if you’ve got someone who simply “dives right in,” slow things down with a bit of cunnilingus foreplay. It will make the experience even hotter and will significantly increase your chances of having multiple oral orgasms (because yes, those are an actual thing too!).
GIVE: Focus on Other Erogenous Zones (Simultaneously)
GiphyTell me something: when you’re giving your partner head, where are your hands? If they are on his shaft, that’s cool (more on that in a bit); however, do you make the time to explore other parts of his body too? Yeah, let’s also make 2025 the year when we explore more than just the obvious erogenous zones. For men, places that drive them wild include their lower stomach, inner thighs, and nipples. While you’re down below, use your hands to caress those parts of his body.
Oh, and before you even get down there, massage his scalp and/or French kiss his earlobes as you whisper just what he is in for. Since, from what I’ve read, many guys are fine with fellatio lasting between 5-7 minutes (if they know that intercourse is on its way, that is) — by focusing on his other “hot spots” at the same time, that time might get even shorter.
RECEIVE: Get into Different Positions
GiphyJust like the missionary position is the traditional go-to for sex (hey, and don’t sleep on it either; check out “Here's Why The Missionary Position Will Forever Be Top-Tier” and “15 Hot Tips Giving The Missionary Position The Upgrade You Crave”), a woman being on her back is the traditional way that she (we) receive cunnilingus. However, just like other sex positions can “hit spots” in ways that you never saw coming — well, cumming — positioning your body in other ways during cunnilingus can do the same thing.
Get on all fours, so that your partner can slide his head in between your knees. Stand up and put one leg on the bed while he kneels in front of you. Try the Kivin Method which is basically about you being on your back while your partner goes down on you from a side angle (that way, your clitoris, vaginal opening, and perineum can all be easily stimulated).
Sit in a chair and “receive him” that way. Get into the doggy-style position and see if you like it from that direction. I’m telling you, folks be out here seriously missing out on other forms of oral pleasure and it’s all because they think that there is just one way to “do” oral — THERE ABSOLUTELY IS NOT.
GIVE: Use a (Wet) Hand
GiphyThere’s a series that I stumbled upon several years ago on YouTube entitled,Diary of a Cheating Man. During the second episode, the main (cheating) character said something while hiding in the closet from one of his ladies’ boyfriend: “I’m too old for this sh-t. I thought I got past this in high school or somethin’. Maybe Preston was right; I’m supposed to be the player and I’m out here gettin’ played by some fake ass basketball wife. Hey, I can’t lie, though. I get why dude is so overprotective. It’s hard to find a girl who can do the twisty hand thing when she gives you head.” LOL.
And you know what? That lil’ hack receives high praise, even in real life — plenty of men have told me so. Yep, massaging your partner’s penis while you are performing fellatio on him can provide an indescribable sensation because there are different types of applied pressures that are happening simultaneously.
If you want to make it extra erotic, either put some lube on your hands (flavored lube is even better — for you) or apply something like shea butter or a carrier oil (check out “So, Here Are The Carrier Oils That Will Take Your Sex Life To A Whole 'Nother Level”) to the shaft of his penis. Not only will it reduce the friction (and potential chafing), but it will require you to do less work in the “make it wet” department (you know, via spit) as well.
RECEIVE: Incorporate a Pillow
GiphyWhen it comes to cunnilingus, oh, what a difference a pillow makes. It’s practical (because it makes giving a lot easier on a man’s neck). It’s comfortable (because, as a receiver, your lower body is propped up without a ton of effort on your part). And it can help the experience to last longer, if that’s what you’d like — because, from what I’ve read and researched (check out “Who Knew Oral Sex Has An Official Time Limit?”), many women want to “be on the receiving end” anywhere from 15-30 minutes at a time.
Honestly, your own pillows should be able to suit you just fine. Still, if you want to become extra well-versed in all things oral, check out Cosmo’s, “16 Best Sex Pillows, Wedges, and Cushions of 2024 for Hitting All the Right Angles;” you should be able to find one or two that will…get you right. #wink
GIVE AND RECEIVE: Make Eye Contact
GiphyAccording to science, when eye contact is made during sex, not only can it intensify your arousal (by increasing the levels of dopamine that are able to surge throughout your system), but it can also make you feel more connected to your partner. That’s why I decided to close this out by encouraging you and your partner alike to give each other eye contact while giving and receiving oral sex. And you know what this means, right?
In order for this to happen, you’ve got to be able to see each other (check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever”) — and that means you need to have a red, blue, or purple light bulb in your bedroom or some lit scented soy candles. The right lighting, a comfortable position, and eyes peering into each other during fellatio and cunnilingus — whew…does it get any better than that? Test it out and see, chile. Test it out and freakin’…see.
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The show is exactly what you’d expect when you put a media pro and a sports legend together—a mix of real talk, unfiltered moments, and guest interviews that feel like family kickbacks. As the duo wraps up their first season, Rocsi sat down with xoNecole to talk about teaming up with Deion, the wildest moments on set, and why streaming platforms like Tubi are shaking up the talk show world.
Scoring the Gig & Clicking Instantly with Deion
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Essence
Deion Sanders had been dreaming of hosting a talk show, and when Tubi came calling, it was only right he made it happen. But before he found the perfect co-host, he held auditions with different women for the spot.
Lucky for us, Rocsi threw her hat in the ring, and the connection was instant. “You just can’t buy chemistry like we have,” she tells us. “We are legit like big brother, little sister—fighting, cracking jokes, telling each other off. When you watch the show, it’s like watching family.”
Mixing News, Culture & Sports—Minus the Snooze
With We Got Time Today, Rocsi and Deion cover everything from the latest headlines to celebrity tea and, of course, sports. But instead of stiff, rehearsed segments, the show keeps it loose and unpredictable.
“We’re not breaking the mold—it’s not rocket science,” Rocsi jokes. “We just bring our own flair, our authenticity, and our personalities to it. Deion has firsthand experience in sports, so when we talk about athletes, he brings a different perspective.”
And the best part? Unlike traditional talk shows that rush through quick interviews, We Got Time Today actually takes its time. “A lot of shows might give you one or two segments with a guest,” Rocsi says. “With us, we actually sit down and have real-life conversations.”
Her Top Guests (So Far!)
From music icons to relationship experts, the show has already had some unforgettable guests—but a few stand out for Rocsi.
“Ice Cube was our first guest, and he’s just legendary,” she says. “Kirk Franklin had us cracking up when he broke into a full choir freestyle for our Christmas special. And anytime we get Dr. Bryant on to put Deion in the hot seat? That’s my favorite!”
And of course, there’s Nick Cannon. “Nick was amazing,” she adds. “You already know he’s going to bring the energy and say something wild.”
Tag-Team Hosting with Deion: The Inside Scoop
While Deion Sanders is best known for his football greatness, Rocsi says he’s also one of the funniest people she’s ever worked with.
“He’s goofy—like, really goofy,” she laughs. “A lot of people didn’t know that side of him, but now they do. He can crack a joke, and if you’re too sensitive, good luck, because he will go in. But the best part? I throw it right back at him! Sometimes we just look at each other like, ‘Okay, that was a good one.’”
But beyond the laughs, she admires his insane work ethic. “Watching him juggle everything he does is just super admirable,” she says.
How "We Got Time Today" Brings That "106 & Park" Energy
Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images
For those wondering if We Got Time Today feels like 106 & Park 2.0, Rocsi says it’s a whole different vibe.
“The only comparison I’d make is that it’s a destination for the culture,” she explains. “It’s a platform where our people can come, feel safe, and have real conversations. But other than that, this is Deion’s world—we’re just having fun in it.”
The Talk Show Shake-Up: Why This Show Hits Different
Unlike traditional networks, We Got Time Today lives exclusively on Tubi, proving that streaming platforms are changing how we watch talk shows.
“Tubi is giving more people opportunities and making content more accessible,” Rocsi says. “Deion is a huge Tubi fan—he literally loves Black cinema—so it just made sense for him. And honestly? He’s got me watching it too!”
Real Ones Only: Women Holding Each Other Down
Rocsi credits her best friend, Chantelle, for always keeping her grounded. “She kept pouring into me, reminding me of who I am,” she shares. Even Deion Sanders makes sure to give her flowers, often calling her “the hostess with the most.”
In the industry, she’s built lasting bonds with women like Julissa Bermundez, Angie Martinez, and Angela Yee. “Julissa and I still kick it—her house is basically Sephora, so I just shop there,” she jokes. She also cherishes her friendships with Melyssa Ford and Robin Roberts, who have offered unwavering support. “Robin has always been there for me,” Rocsi says, reflecting on the wisdom she’s gained from the legendary journalist.
With the show’s first season wrapping up, Rocsi is grateful for the experience and excited for what’s next. “We’re having a good time, and the audience can feel that,” she says.
And if you haven’t tuned in yet? Well, Rocsi and Deion got time—so you might as well make some too.
Catch We Got Time Today now streaming on Tubi!
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10 of those things are listed down below. And although each of them can benefit you, health-wise, in a myriad of different ways, today we’re going to solely focus on how all of them can be relied upon to get your skin into the kind of condition that you’ve always wanted it to be.
1. Coconut Water Serum
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If you want to get a bit more potassium or antioxidants in your system, coconut water can make that happen. Since potassium is something that helps to keep hydration in your skin and antioxidants are awesome at slowing down the signs of aging, these are already two wonderful reasons to consume coconut water consistently. Aside from that, coconut water is also good for your skin because it contains antimicrobial properties that help to prevent breakouts, plus, it is a solid source of vitamin C which helps to boost collagen production so that your skin has more elasticity.
Wanna hydrate your skin from the outside in? Check out this Coconut Water and Jojoba Oil recipehere.
2. Papaya Masks
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A fruit that also contains a lot of vitamin C and antioxidants is papaya. It also has an impressive amount of Vitamin A in it which is good to know becausevitamin A is a nutrient that can help reduce skin sagging, decrease hyperpigmentation, and even soothe the symptoms that are associated with psoriasis. Since papaya features properties that also fight inflammation, it can help to speed up the healing process of pimples and, if you’re looking forfree radicals to stay far away from your skin, papaya can do that for you as well.
Looking for a gentle way to exfoliate your skin while soothing any skin irritation that you may have at the same time? Check out this DIY Papaya Maskhere.
3. Bone Broth
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I am someone who enjoys cooking withbone broth. If you’ve always wondered exactly what it is, bone broth is simply the nutrients that come from animal bones after they’ve been soaking in water for a long period of time.Since bone broth is packed with everything from protein and calcium to magnesium and amino acids, it’s definitely something that can give your skin a boost of health from the inside out. Specifically, the amino acids in bone broth help to reduce inflammation and help you get a good night’s rest (which is paramount as far as achieving glowing skin is concerned).
Also,the collagen that’s in bone broth can help to make your skin firmer and more youthful-looking. So, if you want to proactively help out your skin, cook with bone broth more often. Within a matter of weeks, you should notice a difference.
4. Black Cumin Seed Oil Cleanser
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I ain’t got not one lie to tell you — when it comes to something that is holistically beneficial for your health, black cumin seed oil is that one. So much, in fact, that there are several articles out in cyberspace (like this onehere) that list over 100 ways that it can do wonders for your overall health and well-being. Your skin will adore this particular oil becauseit contains properties that fight acne, treat psoriasis and eczema, andhelp to dissolve warts. Also, this oil contains antibacterial and antiviral properties that help to keep your skin healthy, in general.
If you’re looking for an all-natural way to deeply cleanse your skin, black cumin seed oil can certainly be of great assistance. You can read more about why and how by goinghere.
5. Watermelon Skin Toner
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On the palate tip, few things make me happier than cubes of watermelon (when it’s in season, which is typicallybetween May and September). Since it consists of92 percent water, you know that watermelon is going to hydrate your skin — plus, the vitamin C that’s in it will do a good job of increasing your skin’s collagen production. Some other great things about watermelon (as far as your skin is concerned) is ithelps to reduce inflammation and oxidative stress and it can evenhelp to even out your skin tone.
A super refreshing way to tone and tighten your skin is to use a toner that has watermelon in it. A quick and easy recipe that will help you to do just that is locatedhere.
6. Hemp Milk Soap
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At the end of the day, hemp milk is a milk alternative that is made by mixing water and seeds from the Cannabis sativa plant (yes, the plant that makes weed) together. Since there are a lot of fatty acids in hemp milk, that automatically makes it “skin worthy” because fatty acids help to hydrate your skin, improve the texture of your skin, and reverse some of the environmental damage that your skin may be experiencing. Since there are also vitamins A, D, and E in hemp milk, that makes it beneficial for your skin as well because vitamin A can help to unclog your pores, vitamin D can help to cultivate new skin cells, and vitamin E can help to smooth out the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
If you’re looking for a way to soothe your entire body with hemp milk, there’s a cool (albeit ingredient-rich) recipe for how to make hemp milk soaphere.
7. Tomato Paste Mask
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It’s not that I don’t like tomatoes, it’s just that…if I go months without eating one, I don’t really notice. I wish that wasn’t the case too becausetomatoes are a good source of fiber, folate, Vitamin C, beta-carotene, and potassium.Your skin needs beta-carotene because it’s an antioxidant that helps to protect it from UV damage and it reduces the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles that you might have. Some other benefits that come withusing tomatoes for your skin are they reduce skin inflammation, boost collagen production, help to prevent cellular damage and they work well as a skin exfoliant.
So long as your skin isn’t super sensitive (because there is a fair amount of acid that’s in this particular fruit), it will be so happy that you’ve given it a face mask that has tomatoes as one of its main ingredients. StyleCraze has many for you to choose from. Gohere to check ‘em all out.
8. Fig Face Polish
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If you’ve always wondered whatthe difference is between a fig and a date, let’s get free today. Although they both are fruits, figs contain more calcium, aren’t as sweet or sticky and they also have fewer wrinkles than dates do. On the skin health tip, figs contain fiber which helps you to stay regular which can help to detox your system and prevent breakouts.Figs also contain nutrients that can help to speed up the healing process of symptoms that are associated with dermatitis and eczema.
If you’re looking for something that will deeply hydrate and moisturize your skin, figs can do that. Figs also have a pretty good reputation when it comes to removing dead skin cells so that your skin’s texture will be soft and smooth; this is partly thanks to the antioxidants that are in them.
Ready for your skin to have a brilliant glow? Check out this fig face polish recipehere.
9. Aloe Vera and Honey Facials
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There was actually a season in my life when I used todrink Aloe vera juice. Although I preferred to mix it with juice, I must admit that I could tell that it was good for me when it came tomy digestive system. I’m pretty sure that my skin enjoyed it as well, seeing that Aloe vera, internally, also helps to hydrate skin and keep it well-moisturized. If you actually use the gel on your skin,it can help to heal inflammatory acne, speed up the healing process of eczema and psoriasis symptoms and it can even assist withminimizing the appearance of pores.
As far as honey and your skin go, it’s dope because the properties in it will help to treat issues like acne, eczema, and psoriasis, it can soften the appearance of acne scars and it can even brighten your complexion over time.
If you’re someone who is all about DIY facials, this DIY Aloe & Honey Face Mask (here) will absolutely get you right.
10. Zinc Gel for Glass Skin
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A mineral that your skin definitely needs you to have in your system on a consistent basis is zinc. Studies have proven that zinc can do everything for your skin fromhelping to prevent and heal acne and providing it with protection from the sun tosoothing the symptoms that are associated with eczema and rosacea andhelping to repair DNA damage that could lead to signs of aging. Zinc-enriched foods that can help you to receive these perks internally includelamb, lentils,pecans, shiitake mushrooms, and fortified cereals.
Something else that is high in zinc — chia seeds. That said, if you like the look thatglass skin provides, you can actually make a homemade gel that can help you achieve that look. The instructions that will help you to do so are locatedhere.
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All of these are edible ways to achieve beautiful skin, whether you eat them or apply them.
Give them a shot. They’re delicious (inside) and easy (outside) ways to achieve your skin goals without any of the sometimes expensive, chemical-filled drama that comes with a lot of these commercial brands out here. And that’s just the truth.
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