

It's been nearly half a year since the series finale of Insecureaired, and I'm still not over it. So much so, I've unapologetically binge-watched the series a couple of times since "Everything Gonna Be, Okay?!" had us shedding real tears as it was hard to say goodbye, okay?! The Issa Rae-created show offered a complex look into the normal lives of Black millennial women navigating adulthood. It was relatable, authentic, and easy for a lot of us to see ourselves at some point throughout the duration of the five-season run. Since its premiere in 2016, we've laughed, we've cried, and we've also taken a look in the mirror and challenged our own mirror selves to grow and leave comfort zones behind at times.
In addition to the subject matter, Insecure also struck a chord with its thoughtfully curated soundtrack and stunning visuals. And I can't be the only one who was a fan of the steamy sex scenes that often played out (of which my favorite were the ones that sort of popped up out of nowhere). Keep reading for an extensive list of all of the sex scenes in Insecure (excluding the finale season because they were few and far between and nobody has time for that).
Spoilers are most definitely ahead.
Insecure Sex Scenes: Every Episode, Seasons 1-4
Season 1, Episode 5: Issa’s first time with Daniel
Despite his chocolate skin and brilliant smile, I was never Team Daniel (Y’lan Noel). However, I could see the writing on the wall as the tension unfolded between episode 1 and episode 5 of Insecure’s first season leading to Issa (Issa Rae) cheating on her long-time love Lawrence (Jay Ellis) for the seemingly ambitious, charismatic Daniel who seemed like the one who got away. As soon as Daniel and Issa ended up running down a video of her on the internet and somehow ended up alone in the studio by the end of the episode, I knew what time it was. Plus sir told her things she thought she always wanted to hear from him, about being ready, so I knew the panties would drop shortly thereafter. And that they did.
Points for Issa trying to resist, but that kiss was only the beginning of a few things between Daniel King and Issa Dee. What unfolded was an indulgent gratuitous love scene that started on the couch, ended up on the floor, and also acted as the first sex scene we got on the show. For that reason, it rightfully earns this spot on our list.
Honorable Mention: The brief flashbacks we got of the scene in the episode that came after. Whew.
Season 1, Episode 6: Molly and Jared get reacquainted
I still think the way Molly (Yvonne Orji) did Jared (Langston Kerman) was messed up. I understand that she felt like she was settling but there were quite a few noteworthy qualities about him that could have made her a great partner for her. Including the fact that he was creative with how he went about getting it in. He seemed content with allowing her to play the dominant role in their waking life, but in their sex life, he always found ways to make it known he was in control. And based on how she was cooking for Jared in the very next scene, I truly believe that was something Molly liked about their dynamic.
His affinity for dirty talk was very prominent in the two brief sex scenes between Molly and Jared in this episode, both of which coincidentally took place in kitchens. From “You still got errands, you still got errands?” to “You tried Blue Apron?” Jared was hitting all the right spots. Until he wasn’t.
Season 1, Episode 8: Lawrence’s ‘Revenge’
Okay, 'revenge' is a strong word but this is perhaps what ignited the fire of hate and created the divide on Twitter that would become us and them (better known as the Lawrence Hive versus everyone else). What I loved about Tasha (Dominique Perry) and Lawrence’s first sex scene together was the build-up as Lawrence went through a dance between whether he should stay and make things work with Issa or leave the relationship completely. His feeling of betrayal hit different because for weeks we viewed a very not-so-subtle-wit-it Tasha stay in the pocket and also boldly shoot her shot while he played the role of a dutiful boyfriend without a flicker of disloyalty. Meanwhile, we saw his partner do the opposite with a similar source of temptation. So even though as the main character, we hoped Issa and Lawrence would see a reprisal by the finale, we understood that the relationship was over, over. And I for one, appreciated the way he went about it. Tasha was head down, ass up, and we were here for it.
And after all that talk about Lawrence’s depressive episode and him allegedly not putting it down right (thanks Thug Yoda for that tidbit), we were able to confirm that he had the material and knew exactly what to do with it.
Season 2, Episode 1: Issa and Lawrence’s ex-sex
The sophomore season of Insecure started off with a bang, literally. In a moment of high emotions and confusion, Lawerence and Issa engaged in 30 seconds of passion remembering what was between them sexually. The blue couch that saw no action in the first season suddenly got a taste of what could be again as Lawrence and Issa gave into their indulgences and made a messy breakup somewhat messier. I found the ex-sex slip-up to be very realistic, especially in situations where closure hasn’t happened yet and there’s still a desire to be together. Though not one of the steamier love scenes featured in the series, it still holds a lot of weight because it was so damn relatable.
Honorable Mention: Earlier in the episode, a brief spooning sex exchange played between Lawrence and Tasha. So good he had her saying “daddy with a ‘z.’”
Season 2, Episode 3: Issa has sex with Neighbor Bae
Speaking of relatability, the very next sex scene between Issa and Neighbor Bae (Leon Thomas III) was also on point for that reason. Neighbor Bae, also known on the show as Eddie, made a couple of appearances before becoming a sometimes-y hookup for Issa and he was just what the doctor ordered in terms of helping her enter her “hoe phase” and get Lawrence’s recent dick-me-down out of sight and out of mind. During a somewhat lengthy scene, Issa and Eddie were able to work through the sometimes awkward reality of sex (especially first-time sex with someone new) by finding a position that worked for them and communicating along the way.
Sometimes the first new fuck after a breakup is the hardest. And what we saw was no-strings-attached sex between two consenting adults and it was great to see Issa get back in the game. As she exits his apartment, she receives a message from a dating app and reads it with a smile, showing the audience that she is single and officially ready to mingle. Dating roster and all.
Season 2, Episode 4: Lawrence has a threesome
Yeah, no comment on the actual threesome, but I will say I really appreciate the moments throughout the series where I could see the contrast between the “masculinity” Lawrence was trying to portray to the world versus the man he wanted to be (also of note, he is also navigating his own version of getting over his breakup). With his homeboy Chad (Neil Brown Jr.), there were instances in the series where Lawrence would just do something to get his approval but not necessarily because it was something he would feel good about in the end. Case in point, this threesome. But it also took me back to a scene earlier in the season where they are looking for a place together and Chad expresses being excited that Lawrence is shedding his “good guy” ways. So that was an interesting continuation of that theme.
Season 2, Episode 5: Molly has sex with Dro
In terms of what she wanted, Molly always had a hard time practicing what she preached in matters of the heart. That was no different in how she moved in her situationship with Dro (Sarunas J. Jackson). I knew from the minute they first interacted on-screen that she’d end up letting him in sexually and emotionally, especially because she was not feeling ole dude that was good on paper (Sterling K. Brown). When the illusion she had of her parents’ picture-perfect marriage shattered, it was only a matter of time before she’d stray from her checklist and find herself underneath a man with whom she had no future as an act of self-sabotage.
As soon as he walked her to the door, we knew what time it was. He tried to walk away but Molly grabbed him by the hand and gave him a look that asked him to stay. And underneath Dro is exactly where she found herself at the end of the episode, leading to a series of trysts between the two that would continue throughout the remainder of the season.
Season 2, Episode 6: Issa, Daniel, and the infamous facial
I know the moment of the climax is the most talked-about aspect of this particular scene, but Daniel emitting that breathy moan when he first starts getting head? Yes. And him sinking into the couch before closing his eyes? Absolutely. And the attention to detail of holding her head closer to take more of “him” in when he is about to climax? Abso-fucking-lutely. To be frank, Issa’s dramatization following said unsolicited facial kind of killed what Daniel’s orgasm was doing for me, but still, I loved that we were able to get a sex scene where oral was more of the focus.
Honorable Mention: The intimate connection Molly and Dro have between them gets the visual treatment with a quick transition into them spooning.
Season 3, Episode 1: Boundaries are a thing
Nothing super intense or indulgent played out in this episode as far as sex scenes go, instead, it seemed to be planting seeds and establishing dynamics based on where people were in their lives. Boundaries also seemed to be an important theme, as both Molly and Issa navigated situations with men who had feelings for them (and they too had feelings for) but men they also didn’t necessarily want to get themselves too caught up on because of the mess history alluded to be on the other side.
Honorable Mention(s): There is an opening scene where Daniel is attempting to make Issa jealous or at least painfully aware of what she’s missing out on by having loud sex with someone else. The slow pan across Daniel’s body was cinematography for the books. Also, loved that brief intermission of oral between Dro and Molly where she was sitting on the counter and he was nestled in between her legs, the emphasis was placed on her pleasure. I personally loved this scene because it felt like a parallel for where they were in their situationship. Molly was in a place where she was intent upon laying out her boundaries and as the episode played out (as well as the demise of their dealings), the two were fighting for control. And by the end, they both retreated and a white flag was raised.
Season 3, Episode 3: The Issa and Daniel sex scene that never came to be
After a disappointing setback involving another producer, Daniel lashed out at Issa and called her out on some shit even though Issa’s line of questioning was perfectly on point. It resulted in a shutting down between both parties. Later that night though while laying together silently in bed, Daniel attempted to initiate sex with Issa. At first, she seemed to give in to his kisses and even seemed open to him eating her out, but instead of going backward with him again like we thought she would, Issa pumped the brakes and didn’t give in to the temptation because she knew the reality was, she couldn’t entertain Daniel in that way. The body is weak but the heart and mind were stronger.
Personally, I was relieved af. He’s fine but Daniel was one of the most emotionally immature men Issa had dealt with and I felt like their paths stopped and stalled so often for a reason.
Honorable Mention: The “good morning oral sex” fantasy Issa had with Daniel involved extra spicy Hot Cheetos and some diligent head game.
Season 3, Episode 5: Issa and Nathan on the Ferris wheel
I felt the chemistry between Issa and Nathan (Kendrick Sampson) as soon as he dropped her taco earlier on in the season so when they reunited again during Coachella, I was like immediately yes. I never knew I would need a sex scene such as this, but everything from the cool-toned lighting to the Ferris wheel setting made this a contender for one of the best sex scenes on Insecure (for me). The lead-up conversation where Nathan made Issa feel seen and supported (another reason why I like him around for her character) added to how their first time played out. Issa pulled him in for a kiss, got onto his lap, and the rest was history.
I loved Nathan’s attention to her nipple (a detail we don’t often see, especially from the main actors) and when he told her to show him how much she wanted him, I understood why sis had no choice but to put her panties to the side and pull him into an impromptu ride.
Season 4, Episode 1: Issa and her TSA cut buddy
After Nathan dropped the ball by turning into Ghost Bae, we are introduced to one of Issa’s next hookups at the beginning of the series’ fourth season. TSA Bae (Reggie Conquest) was putting in work and I lived for the thick fellas getting some love on the show and showing some nudity on top of that. Here for it! I also loved the nod to the sometimes underrated nature of how people look at missionary. As Issa classically said following their tryst, “Church is always in the answer.”
Honorable Mention: We got a glimpse into Lawrence and Condola’s (Christina Elmore) bedroom in this episode too, and I’ll just add it to the very short list of ways I felt did Lawrence and Condola wrong. The energy was just not…there.
Season 4, Episode 2: Issa and TSA Bae lose the condom
TSA Bae gets another quickie in as Issa’s go-to cut buddy at the start of this season. I personally loved seeing such diversity in love interests in this show, from size to race, which is why some of the fourth season’s love scenes stand out to me. This orgasm-inducing scene between Issa and TSA Bae in particular even added some butt play to the mix. Initially, Issa is shown positioned over the side of the bed while TSA Bae is thrusting out Issa’s “stress.” After she orgasms, they switch to a modified missionary position so he can get his. Sir respectfully requests that Issa press his “button” during to intensify his climax. Here. For. It.
Honorable Mention: Take the cake Andrew (Alexander Hodge), take the cake. IYKYK.
Season 4, Episode 7: Andrew and Molly’s vacation sex
Merie W. Wallace/HBO
On their first couple’s baecation, Andrew and Molly prioritize experimenting. Our first taste of that was when Andrew snuck his hand beneath her blanket while in the air. An easy life hack for joining the Mile High Club without joining the Mile High Club. The conversation about what they like and want to explore continues when they enter their hotel room and bring out the toys they decided to try on the trip. Molly says she knows she likes the fingering sesh from on the plane and wants to try the balcony. They take it outside where Andrew thrusts into her while holding her neck and the beauty of Puerto Vallarta surrounds them.
Honorable Mention: Molly taps into her dominant side later when she slides that thang up to Andrew’s face while he’s blindfolded. She does this before instructing Andrew to eat her ass. He humbly obliges.
Season 4, Episode 8: Issa and Lawrence reunite for real, for real this time
I felt this reunion in my soul. Even though it was a reunion I didn’t know I was going to get, the combination of the real conversations they had and the body-to-body connection they were able to reignite by the end of the episode was everything. Lawrence and Issa were introduced as a couple at the beginning of the series and lost their way due to Issa cheating on him with Daniel. It was great to see that down the road, both of them were able to make peace with their contributions to the demise of the relationship and take accountability for their actions. It was also beautiful to note that Condola was a catalyst in Lawrence seeing something through that he might have always had a question mark about since it was shown to viewers that he was ready to marry Issa back in the first season. From the second they kissed, it seemed that they were finally coming home to each other where they had become better people and were in a better place. Coming together after falling apart.
Honorable Mention(s): Technically, the Lawrence and Issa sex montage happens at the start of the next episode but due to it being the only sex scene in episode 9, I’ll just place it here. The fact that all of the sex between the couple happened on or against his couch was a nice nod to previous episodes where a couch has seemed central to their shared intimacy.
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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More Than A Meal: How Bryant & Daniella Found Love In The Kitchen
How We Metis a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
They say the best relationships start off as friendships, and Bryant aka Chef Baul, and Daniella Williams are living proof of that. The couple met on the job and from there, their relationship organically blossomed into something much more.
Now married for almost three years, the couple has grown their family and businesses, opening a brunch restaurant, Betty Sue’s, in Atlanta.
From the day they met, food has always played a role in their relationship, and working together in the food industry is what we call a full circle moment. Learn more about Bryant and Daniella’s story of finding love with one another.
How they met.
Bryant: We met at a mutual clients’ house. She was doing the lady hair, and I was cooking for the lady. The client sent her downstairs to record me while I was cooking to, I guess, see what I was cooking, and I caught her recording, but we didn't talk. I caught her recording, we laughed it off, and she went about her day.
So I guess that was the first thing that made us interact with each other. A few months down the line, I think she posted something [on social media]. I hopped in her DM and responded to it, and then we decided to just meet up and hang out. I looked at her as an entrepreneur. I'm an entrepreneur. She don’t need nothing. I don’t need nothing. It's good to hang with people who don't need nothing from you.
When we linked up, our chemistry was just so soft and just so nice. She is a great person, but after meeting up with her [for the] first time, she went back to Miami. She came back [to Atlanta], and we just kicked it off that next weekend, and ever since then, we've been locked in.
Daniella: That same client had flew me back in so I knew I had to come up here for work. But I told him that we'll meet up and [go] on a date and see each other again. When that happened, everything else was history. It just happened organically. It wasn’t forced or anything.
Bryant and Daniella Williams
Courtesy
First impressions.
Bryant: I knew for a fact for her to come downstairs and try to record me, I knew that she was brave, and that said a lot about her, because I barely even talk when I'm cooking for my clients. So you have to talk to somebody for them to feel comfortable to play with you, or do certain things. I feel like the client sent her downstairs because she knew that she's an outspoken, bubbly type of person who don't mind laughing it off if she gets caught doing it.
When she came back to Atlanta, she booked me to cook for her family. So while I was cooking for her in the kitchen, the whole time she was in there talking to me. It was like a date in the kitchen, and I cooked her food. Once the food was laid out, I just left. We had a great conversation when I was cooking for her, and also when she came downstairs and tried to record me.
Daniella: I was impressed how he was multitasking because I was asking him deep, interesting questions, and he was cooking the food, and he was still answering my questions. But I was in a relationship at that time, so I wasn't really in tune. It was no emotions. But when I came back and flew in to work, we met with each other.
He came and picked me up from the hotel and we drove around Atlanta, sightseeing. We went to the African club. So when he came downstairs, I was like okay, you not gonna hug me, you not gonna say nothing? He was shocked and we stayed together for like eight or nine hours, and he took me back to the hotel. I think he picked me up around nine at night. He took me back to the hotel around seven in the morning. Then he walked me to my hotel door. He gave me a hug and he gave me a kiss and said, 'I love you.' And I was like, what?
We stayed together for like eight or nine hours, and he took me back to the hotel. I think he picked me up around nine at night. He took me back to the hotel around seven in the morning. Then he walked me to my hotel door. He gave me a hug and he gave me a kiss and said, 'I love you.' And I was like, what?
The one.
Daniella: When we first linked up, he took me around Atlanta. He was soft and gentle. He was a gentleman. He opened the door for me and I never had nobody open the door. He opened the door every single time I was going in and getting out the car, and when we went to that restaurant. I was like, [there’s] something about him, and he was just nice, calm and patient. So I knew he was a little different from what I'm used to.
Bryant: [I knew she was the one by] how she cared so much. She didn't really know me like that. She knew of me, but she cared so much about me. When we first met, she would lay on me and just relax. For someone who just wants to relax on you, that says a lot about them towards you. It wasn't like I had to prove myself and she didn’t have to prove herself with me either. It wasn't nothing like that. We were willing to take whatever came with it. But it just was really a break. It was like the best me meeting a woman because I didn't try.
Any other woman, I might be trying to dress up, take her to this place, I did not try at all. I picked her up and I actually thought that she wasn't gonna go on the date with me because of her status and my status. I'm such a laid back homey dude and she's from Miami. I thought she would be on the City Girls, you gotta do this, do that. But she wasn't. She was the total opposite. She was a homebody, chill, like me.
Bryant and Daniella Williams
Courtesy
Marriage advice for couples.
Bryant: Work together. Communication, put your mind together.
Daniella: And keep your family out your business.
Bryant: Keep it private please. Y'all work it out first. When y'all make sure it's solidified, then you tell them, or let them find out on their own. Privacy is the most valuable thing.
Daniella: And date each other because people get married and they stop doing the things that they did to get you, or stop doing the things that they did while they were in a relationship with you, before y'all got married. No, do the same thing. For me, I get bored easy, and I think he knows that. So just keep it spicy. Keep it interesting.
Bryant: We like spontaneous stuff like last-minute trips, trying different foods, going out the country just off a spur of a moment. You gotta make it fun. Don't just make it all business. And I think one person out of the relationship needs to take the initiative to make sure their partner is relaxing and at peace. A lot of people carry functional depression to where they’re functional, like we're doing this right now, but they can be going through something.
I don't think it's male or female. I think whichever one, the other partner should notice it and work with their partner to get through whatever they get through, like, for postpartum depression and stuff. That's something that most men don't even really know exist, but that's something when she had our daughter, I had an anti-postpartum depression plan put in place for her. She didn't know about it, but I knew I was gonna be extra sweet to her.
She won't have to think about doing nothing with the little baby. My little girl was watching the football game with me, when she was a few weeks old, because I was giving her that peace, so she can just relax, because her body has been through so much. So you got to be considerate of your mate's mental state and their mental well-being, because when it's gone, it's gone and it takes a lot to get it back, so I think that's important.
When she had our daughter, I had an anti-postpartum depression plan put in place for her. She didn't know about it, but I knew I was gonna be extra sweet to her. She won't have to think about doing nothing with the little baby. My little girl was watching the football game with me, when she was a few weeks old, because I was giving her that peace, so she can just relax, because her body has been through so much.
If you see something not right with your spouse, help them get help. It's okay for them to talk to a therapist by themselves, or it's okay for them to talk to somebody, but don't just sit there and let them go into this decline and self-destruction. I think that's the most important, because sometimes she be overwhelmed, and I have to be that person to hold her up. And then sometimes I'm overwhelmed. To her, baby, I don't want to do this no more. She's like, you gonna do this. We gonna do this. And she reminds me who I am. I remind her who she is, and we come back feeling more motivated.
Daniella: I think business owners should date business owners because they understand your hustle, your hunger. They understand when you can have a day where you make $0 and you have a day when you make $1,000. But I feel like if you dating someone who is in corporate America, and you a business owner, there's going to be a lot of friction, a lot of tension, and I just feel like I want to date someone that has the same drive as me.
Because I don't want to feel like I'm trying to build a bear, build a man, and I have to pull you and drag you, or just being with somebody who got they self together. For instance, my last relationship. I won't say I was the breadwinner, but I was kind of established, and I felt like I was sleeping with the enemy. I was growing fast and I wasn't stagnant. I was trying to get to the next level. He started to be jealous of me and I feel like a lot of women deal with men trying to be jealous of them. Men also have ego issues where they don't really want their woman making a certain amount of money or making more money than them.
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