Between undergrad and graduate school, I spent well over $60,000 on two pieces of paper to prove that I was smart enough to earn a degree. The road to getting these two pieces of paper wasn't easy (or cheap). When I started working as a professional, I thought I knew it all, I mean I went to college and earned a bachelor's degree and, hell, I even had my MBA. However, between earning both degrees, I realized that I didn't know as much as I thought I did.
The thing that you are not told as you are writing that expensive check for college, or applying for that dreadful loan, is that you will not learn everything to prepare yourself for a career. There will be so many things that you wish you would've learned in school instead of taking boring Government or Biology classes.
My best teachers in life have been the experience and the reading I've done. Everything that I learned and that has helped me develop as a professional came from soaking in knowledge from amazing books and of course, the butt-kicking that life casually gives me from time to time.
Each book below is overflowing with business and self-help gems that you can apply to your life as you evolve as a professional. It doesn't matter if you are a self-made boss or a working woman climbing the corporate ladder, each book listed below will give you genuine keys to success.
Before 2017 ends, grab 1, 2, 3, or all of these books to channel your inner girlboss and jumpstart your career to elevate the year ahead.
1. You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
Filled with entertaining and inspiring stories of her own personal failures and successes, You Are a Badass walks the reader through Sincero's own journey to success. This book is career-focused, but the elements in the book can be applied to your personal life as well. With advice like, “Procrastination is the easiest form of self-sabotage – you'll either find a way or an excuse" or “Fear lives in the future. It hasn't happened yet so why create the drama," this book will have you ready to take on the world.
2. Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers by Lois P Frankel
This book by Executive Coach Lois Frankel is for any woman that has wanted to get ahead in her career, but has found doing so difficult and doesn't understand why. Often as women, we unconsciously demonstrate behaviors that don't serve us or helps us shine. In her book, Frankel tackles this and teaches us powerful lessons on our image and communication style, and she shows us how it effects us as women in the workplace.
3. WERK 101: Get-Your-Life-Together Guide by Koereyelle DuBose
One of the things that I love most about this book is that it is a short, easy read. Often, many self-help books are hundreds and hundreds of pages long, and sometimes when you are busy with work and life's responsibilities, it seems impossible to find time to finish a book that is the size of a PhD thesis.
WERK 101 delivers boldness that empowers you to WERK for what you want by first WERKing on you. From discussing how to WERK on you to get the love you want to the career you want, Koereyelle offers a wealth of knowledge for the modern Millennial woman.
4. Miss Jessie's: Creating a Successful Business from Scratch - Naturally by Miko Branch with Titi Branch
This book is a must-read for aspiring entrepreneurs or for anyone that wants to get a wealth of knowledge on what it really means to build a business with no money or resources. In the book, the co-founder of Miss Jessie's Miko proves that success doesn't happen overnight and that when you do what you were destined to do, your achievements will fall right into place - even with the hiccups along the way.
5. The Power Playbook: Rules for Independence, Money and Success by La La Anthony
“What makes people powerful is finding your inner power, because so many people out there give themselves every reason in the world why they can't do something. You have this inner power within you that can take you to the next level. It's all about finding it." - La La Anthony
In her book, The Power Playbook, this radio and TV personality, actress, and business woman proves that with resilience, confidence, and perseverance success is attainable. Through her humble beginnings, La La has made a household name for her success by creating her own career that she loves and she teaches us her own keys to success.
6. Eat. Pray. Hustle.: Chasing Dreams God's Way by Havilah Cunnington
This book is very encouraging and inspirational, and it challenges you to think deeper and bigger in not only your career, but also in your personal and spiritual life. I think so often we get caught up in day to day living that we fail to see what we were destined to do by God. In this book turned 20 day Bible study inspired by the life of Abraham, Havilah teaches us to step out on faith and have the courage to do what we were created to do. Havilah shows us that just like Abraham, we are all on the road to the promise of life that God has for us. Similar to Abraham, we are all on the journey of eating, praying, and hustling our way to the top.
7. Be You and Live Civil: Tools for Unlocking Your Potential & Living Your Purpose by Karen Civil
"Understanding Motivation," “Self Motivation," “Positive Attitude," and “Living Civil" are chapters in the book by CEO and digital powerhouse Karen Civil that will teach you how to become your own best version of yourself. By discussing her own personal story and how she worked her way from the bottom to the top, Karen shows us all how to unlock our own potential and use it it the most effective way.
8. What I Know For Sure by Oprah Winfrey
Through her meaningful and inspirational stories, this book is perfect for someone that needs an extra boost of motivation and encouragement in their lives. "What I Know For Sure" is the name of Oprah's monthly column from her magazine, O. The idea for the column was inspired in 1998, after she was lost for words when asked 'what she knew for sure' in an interview. Through her series of essays in the book, Oprah drops gems like, "Gratitude can transform any situation. It alters your vibration, moving you from negative energy to positive" and a host of others.
9. Leave Your Mark: Land Your Dream Job. Kill It in Your Career. Rock Social Media. by Aliza Licht
Leave Your Mark is the perfect book for millennials that will help you find your personal brand and learn how to communicate it effectively so that you can land your dream job and be a badass at the same time. Listed on Amazon as one of the top-selling books for job hunting and career guides, Aliza's Leave Your Mark dishes out actionable advice with her own life experiences and stories.
10. #GirlBoss by Sophia Amoruso
As Sophia said it best in her book, “A #GIRLBOSS is in charge of her own life. She gets what she wants because she works for it." In her book, through hilarious and motivating stories and advice, Sophia teaches us how to become a #girlboss in our own space. As the founder of the vintage clothing company, Nasty Gal, Sophia shows how she turned her hobby into a successful company, while dishing out her blunt realities and experiences along the way.
11. Unbought and Unbossed by Shirley Chisholm
In this autobiography, Shirley Chisholm shares her life journey from a young girl from Brooklyn to being the first African-American woman elected to the United States Congress and the first woman and first African-American to have a bid for President of the United States.
Shirley lived a remarkable life and accomplished so much that would have appeared to be impossible during her life in the heart of racial discrimination and violence in the United States. Shirley's life and book will inspire you to never lose your conviction or put a price tag on your values and beliefs. Through her successes, Shirley proves that by standing up for what you believe in and daring to be yourself, you can achieve more than you ever dreamed.
What other inspirational books do you recommend for the modern girlboss? Share the knowledge with us below! #xoReads
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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1. Create a Budget. Stick to It.
GiphyBudgets, boy. I recently read that one of the reasons why they don’t work for a lot of people is because many folks don’t have a clue about how much money they spend on a monthly basis to begin with. SMDH. That said, at the end of the day, it’s important to remember that a budget is simply setting boundaries/limits on your spending — and being intentional about moving in this fashion is always a wise move; especially when it comes to this time of the year…especially being that it’s typical for half of all Americans to take on some type of holiday season debt with 17 percent needing six (or more) months to pay it off.
Know what can prevent this kind of financial chaos? A SPENDING BUDGET. Tips for how to create one of your own this year can be found here.
2. Never Shop When You’re Stressed or Pressed
GiphyYou know how they say that it’s not a good idea to go grocery shopping when you’re hungry? Although the holiday season can be a stressful time, avoid shopping for gifts (or décor or food for recipes) when you are feeling stressed out or pressed for time. More times than not, that cultivates anxiety which could cause you to either purchase things that you don’t really want or to spend money that you don’t really have (P.S. If you’re relying on credit cards, that qualifies as money that you don’t really have. Just sayin’).
3. Don’t Keep Up with the Joneses
GiphyKnow something else that can stress you out: trying to keep up with the Joneses. And y’all, now that we have social media, the reality is that envy is at an all-time high. That’s because it can be really easy to watch holiday engagements, holiday trips and folks bragging about the things that they’ve received in times past, only for you to find yourself wishing that you were them — or putting pressure on yourself and those in your world to keep up.
Listen, it is King Solomon who once said, “So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain; It takes away the life of its owners” (Proverbs 1:19 — NKJV) and “A sound heart is life to the body, but envy is rottenness to the bones” (Proverbs 14:30 — NKJV) and he’s considered to be the wisest man who ever lived (during his time — I Kings 4:30). Yeah, both of these verses are a spiritual reminder that whatever you are planning to do or give, do it out of the goodness of your heart — not so that you can low-key “outdo” the next guy.
4. No Need to “Tit-for-Tat”
GiphyThis one might be a bit controversial yet I’m totally okay with that. I don’t care what the occasion is, no one is OWED a present. A gift is a voluntary token of one’s appreciation or affection. That said, if you decide to give someone a present this year, don’t automatically expect something in return. If you get something, cool. If not, if you were giving for the right reasons, it really shouldn’t matter (RIGHT?). On the flip side, if someone decides to get you something and you don’t have something to offer in return, also cool.
Other than going to someone’s home for a holiday dinner or party, for anyone to feel like they should have something in hand because someone else does…that’s not giving, that’s competing — and that absolutely should not be the spirit that you are in (or around) during this time of year.
Again, a gift is not an obligatory thing. If you’ve always thought otherwise, it’s time to do some serious reprogramming.
5. Avoid the Pressure to Buy for Lots of Adults
GiphyLast month, Newsweek published an article that said it’s wise to not spend a ton of money purchasing gifts for adults. A financial expert in the piece said that it’s best to buy for kids because, more times than not, you’re going to get adults something that they already have a lot of, they don’t really need or they’re not going to use (beyond maybe regifting) anyway.
If you’re not feeling that insight, my take would be to exchange names and set a price cap for the grown folks. I say that because, I don’t think that people ever outgrow wanting something over Christmas. It’s just that the over-the-top energy should be reserved for the kiddies — and even then, the “4-gift rule” (want, need, read, experience) is probably your best bet for them…financially and otherwise.
6. Go for Thoughtful over Expensive
GiphyIt’s kind of wild how much close-to-torture folks send themselves through to purchase gifts that, a good 6-8 months now, most folks aren’t even going to remember. That’s why it’s also a good idea to purpose in your mind to get something thoughtful over expensive.
Honestly, that’s a big part of the reason why Etsy continues to be a go-to for gifts (for every occasion) for me. It’s because you can oftentimes get things customized/personalized which ends up meaning so much more to people than something that you bought at a generic department store that might have a high price tag yet still lacks in sentimentality and deep meaning.
7. Use Coupons and Promo Codes
GiphyCoupons (and promo codes) are a slippery slope in the sense that…they remind me of when I used to go overboard while thrift store shopping. I say that because, just because I might find several bomb dresses for under $20, what am I going to do with 50 of ‘em (over time)? It’s just as much of a waste of money as buying couture if neither option gets much use.
And that’s kind of the thing about coupons and promo codes. Some people end up overspending because they rationalize that so long as there are discounts attached, it’s all good. At the same time, this doesn’t mean that you should forego coupons and promo codes altogether. The key is to put together your shopping list (and budget) and then use discounts specifically for those items. If you do this, you could save well over $1,000 annually (at least, depending on what you decide to buy).
8. Avoid Add-Ons
GiphyYeah. Dodge add-on expenses. Add-ons like what? The first thing that comes to my mind is a warranty. What’s the chance that someone is actually going to need that? Another example is paying for things to be “professionally” gift wrapped. Chile, throw that stuff in a gift bag with some tissue paper and go on about your day. All good.
9. Rethink Gift Cards
GiphyIf there is any time of the year when there is a noticeable hike in gift card purchases, now would be it. And although they are a convenient approach to gift giving, at the same time, many come with hidden fees, the full amount oftentimes goes unused (which ends up being a waste of money) and they do come with expiration dates that are oftentimes forgotten.
So, if you’re someone who likes to wait until the last minute to do your holiday shopping, resist the urge to impulsively pick up a handful of gift cards. Unless it’s to a place that you know someone is going to use within the next few months, they could end up in somebody’s kitchen drawer for the next couple of years. And what a waste that would be.
10. They’ll Get It When They Do. And That’s Okay.
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GiphyOne more. Although it is super thoughtful and proactive to get people their gifts in time for whatever occasion you purchased them for, if trying to reach that goal is going to require paying for rush shipping that is damn near as high as the price of gift or spending a lot of gas money that you don’t have at the moment to drive miles and miles away — take the pressure off to spend a ton of cash just to make sure that something arrives at December 25. Listen, through doing business with Etsy, I have learned that through this administration, there are all sorts of tariff issues going on and the USPS is slower than ever too, so paying more may not guarantee much.
The hack? Send a message that something special is coming…soon enough. The thought really is what counts (more times than not); plus, it builds anticipation of something good coming, even if it’s after all of the Christmas Day hoopla. And no one (with sense) is going to have a problem with that.
Now don’t you feel better? Happy Holiday Shopping, sis.
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