Here's your heads up—If you didn't see the series finale of Being Mary Jane last night, click out of this now. Spoiler on top of spoiler is all up in this.
Before getting into the series finale of Being Mary Jane, can I just say on behalf of all of us who have a long-standing history of supporting quality Black television that we're grateful it got a series finale? Some of us know that (eh hem) certain networks have done some of our favorite shows wrong in the past (Living Single and Girlfriends immediately come to mind. New York Undercover did have a finale although it ran almost six months after FOX canceled it; the show is reportedly getting a reboot, though). So yeah, although the last episode Being Mary Jane aired in the fall of 2017, it was still good to see everyone—both on the show and watching it from home—get some much-needed closure last night.
Being Mary Jane/BET
The writers didn't waste any time, either. In the first five minutes of the finale, Mary Jane got engaged to Justin (Michael Ealy) and found out that she was pregnant—the two things Mary Jane has been wanting, basically since we've met her. However, conception was not due to some make-up sex with fine-and-some-mo-fine Andre (Omari Hardwick) after he officially ended things with his wife (season one will always be my absolute fave!) or a quickie from that absolutely breathtaking piece of Godiva chocolate football playin' man Brandon (Thomas Q. Jones). Nope. It was because, many moons before, Mary Jane and Justin broke up and—surprise, surprise—she did something erratic: she went to a sperm bank and got some donor sperm. 48 hours after their break-up.
Needless to say, this didn't go over well for Justin as he said to Mary Jane what it seems all of the men in her life—family, friend, boyfriend or sex buddy—have said to her since episode one of the show: "It's always about what you want" and they broke up. Again.
Fast forward into Mary Jane showing—by the way, Gabrielle, you continue to show us your strength. You've been so open about your fertility journey and although you have your own little bundle of joy in Miss Kaavia James now, I can only imagine what it was like to pretend that you were pregnant for so much of this finale. She's again not listening (this time about what her diet choices should be while pregnant) and ends up throwing up in a trash can. Then an old flame walks up. Let's pause here. If there's one thing that Gabrielle Union and Morris Chestnut have in common, it's how exquisitely they age. Well, that and the fact that cameras really seem to like them together because this isn't even close to being the first time they've shared the screen together.
Being Mary Jane/BET
Anyway, this time Morris's character's name is Beau (short for Beauregard, go figure). He and Mary Jane used to date in college (according to Mary Jane's family, he was quite the nerd. Apparently, we should look past nerds up on IG to see what's up). They start to date. He's not bothered by her pregnancy. Not in the least.
OK, allow me to get in my feelings for a moment. Although Gabrielle and Morris always look beautiful together and have great chemistry (I personally appreciated the pregnancy sex scene; we don't see women portrayed as mad sexy on the tube nearly enough), I have to admit didn't feel super connected to them. I think it's because up until last night, I don't recall ever even hearing about Beau. Although I knew that Shelden (Gary Dourdan) and Lee (Chiké Okonkwo) returning were long shots, I know I'm not the only one who thought that maybe, just maybe, time would heal all wounds and mature some things so that Mary Jane and David (Stephen Bishop) could finally end up on the same page. Yeah, David did some crappy things (they both did), but their storyline was written so well that I couldn't help but be somewhat emotionally reminiscent, invested and…hopeful. Nope. Guess he's still a millionaire and with the 6.5 model and his daughter.
Back to the recap. In between all that Mary Jane had going on, her family had their own stuff too. Before last night, her parents were on the outs and her dad (an also fine man, Richard Roundtree) put their family home up for sale. Well, guess who bought it? Cutie pie—and I mean that in the best and most grown up way possible—PJ (B.J. Britt). Let me also pause here and say that, as a woman who is oh so very fond of tall, dark and handsome, Being Mary Jane has always been consistent in showcasing just that. THANK YOU. OK, back to the house. Guess what one of the rooms consists of? The beginnings of Mary Jane's niece, Niecy's (Raven Goodwin) beauty salon.
And can I just say this about Raven? She looked really beautiful last night. I've been checkin' for her ever since she played the little girl in the movieLovely and Amazing. Niecy ends up finding love with a man who helped her put her business plan together. Black love and partnership. Dope. Niecy's dad (Richard Brooks) also looked great last night. Still sober and clean. Also dope.
Being Mary Jane/BET
Then there's MJ's bestie, Kara (Lisa Vidal). Whew. Kara had a lot going on. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and got a double mastectomy. The scenes with her and Mary Jane right after surgery and then Kara's man, Orlando (Nicholas Gonzalez) proposing while she was recovering in the hospital probably got to me the most.
Real love is when you're adored at your "worst", not your best. Memo received.
OK, so back to Mary Jane. Without MJ's knowledge, Kara asks Justin to fill in for her until she could come back to work. However, really what Kara was doing was playing matchmaker. Clearly, she was onto something because when Justin and Beau run into each other in Mary Jane's office, Mary Jane introduced Beau as "her friend" (ouch). You kinda knew where Mary Jane stood after that.
As far as she and Justin go, probably my favorite scene with them was when she went out to his home/farm/compound and he told her about herself. Justin described Mary Jane as being "curious, persistent, passionate, driven, courageous" and "frustrating, stubborn, difficult and selfish as hell". Honestly, I think all of those adjectives are what kept us attached to Mary Jane for so long. No matter how mad we got at her at times, more than anything, it was probably because she reflected some of the best and worst parts of our own selves. Wanting love but not always going about the right ways to get it. Exuding strength while being extremely vulnerable. Being accomplished but never fully satisfied. Making erratic decisions that reflect all of these things.
Being Mary Jane/BET
The writers were kind to MJ, and us, by granting closure. Oh, but it wouldn't be a true Being Mary Jane episode without some last-minute drama—and there was. When Justin came to her place to meet her son, Albert James (AJ for short), while Justin was in the bathroom helping AJ get through a night of cholic, guess who shows up? Again, not David (le sigh). It was Beau. Beau with a ring (of course, with a ring). Justin walks in and then…the next scene is Mary Jane in that killer wedding dress.
Do you really have to guess which man she chose? I mean, c'mon now. Stevie Wonder's "Overjoyed" played at the wedding. I was giddy to see—and hear—Lalah Hathaway sing "Angel" at the reception. I must say that, for nostalgia's sake, I did wish that Mary Jane's old ATL neighbor Mark (Aaron D. Spears), her on-again-off-again homie and publicist Nichelle (Brely Evans) or even the couple she put through the ringer Chris (Chris Spencer) and Valerie (Salli Richardson-Whitfield) were present. But still, between Mary Jane getting married to a man she really loved—yes Justin—and not just a man who wanted to marry her, her parents reconciling and everyone being happy and healthy, it really is good to not be stuck ever-wondering what happened to everyone (like we still are with Living Single and Girlfriends…SMH).
And although we didn't get this finale wrapped up in a Post-it, one of the last things to come out of Mary Jane's mouth are definitely words to live by—in her world and in our own.
The second you get out of your own way and stop orchestrating, it happens.
If you retain nothing else I said but that, it's more than enough.
Take care, Mary Jane. Enjoy the rest of your life…just as it happens.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Your Guide To Letting Go Of What No Longer Serves You Based On Astrology
Letting go is a gift we are given and a strength that we find throughout our lives. There are times when we want to grab ahold of what we are experiencing and sensing, and times when we need to let go of something that was once everything to us or what we wanted for ourselves. The moment you conclude that you need to let something go in your life is the moment that your brain fights to make that happen for you.
In Astrology, there is an area of your birth chart that is designed for you to understand where you will be letting go a lot in this lifetime, and exactly how to do so. We dive through the birth chart as we seek a deeper understanding of ourselves and let go of what no longer serves us, and there are tools available to help us do so. If you don't know where your South Node is in your birth chart, you can use a free calculator like this one here.
What Does Your South Node Represent in Astrology?
When it comes to what we are destined to let go of or move away from in this lifetime, we look to the South Node. The South Node is the area of your birth chart that has to do with your past lives, karma, lessons, old habits and traits, gifts, and energy you are moving away from in this lifetime.
Your South Node is opposite your North Node, which is your destiny and the energy you want to move towards.
We can learn a lot from our South Node and it’s an area of our life where we tend to gain the most wisdom. By understanding why some patterns in your life tend to play out in the same ways, you can be more conscious of the choices you make in the now and let go of who and what doesn’t serve you in the process.
South Node Insights: Letting Go
The South Node is our natural gifts and talents, but also where we don’t need to focus so much of our energy on, taking us away from where we need to be developing, which is the North Node. So when you are looking to let go of something, gain a new perspective, or feel more trusting in what you are doing right now, you can examine your South Node.
We learn from our South Node by not making the same mistakes over again, letting go of what needs to be let go of, and understanding what we need in order to create space for our new beginning.
Read below for your South Node on how to let go of what no longer serves you.
Aries South Node: Letting Go of Independence for Connection
You are used to being independent and figuring things out on your own. In this lifetime, however, you are being asked to lean on others for support when you need it. You are working on letting go of the ego and focusing more on the heart. By extending your compassion for others, you discover a part of yourself that leads you toward empowerment and allows you to let go of a false sense of safety.
You are meant to experience harmonious, fortunate, and compatible love in this lifetime, and you will do so by opening your heart to others and letting go of people who don’t support you or whom you can’t count on.
Taurus South Node: Releasing Overdependence and Superficiality
With your South Node in Taurus, you are letting go of the need to acquire by focusing on the depth and intention of what you are obtaining. Your relationships tend to have a lot to do with your financial world, and these things can get twisted and distorted if you are not being careful.
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of what doesn’t serve you by following your heart and your intuition more and focusing more on the feeling you want for yourself rather than the things themselves. You are also working on letting go of overdependence or superficiality in relationships, by connecting with the people whom you have a deep and spiritual bond with.
Gemini South Node: Finding Freedom in Authenticity
For you, letting go means following your freedom. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime, and the less you can focus on how you are going to be perceived, the more you can live the life of your dreams. With a South Node in Gemini, you are moving away from the commotion of life. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is traveling, getting out of your comfort zone, and being in new environments.
In past lives, you may have given too much of your focus on your social successes and business pursuits, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on the bigger picture. What helps you let go is understanding that once you do, better is available to you.
Cancer South Node: Trusting Yourself Beyond Emotional Impulses
With a South Node in Cancer, you are learning to trust yourself and your logic more than your emotional world in this lifetime. By letting go of feeling like you have to be the one to nurture and support everyone and allowing people to do that for you, you lead your destiny.
With your South Node in Cancer, you are letting go of emotional impulsiveness or making decisions irrationally before you have thought about them.
In past lives, you were led by your emotional world, and in this lifetime, you are meant to think more about your long-term goals and intentions. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is knowing that you are more than what you can give to others.
Leo South Node: Prioritizing Community Over Recognition
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of the need to be seen and recognized and focus more on your need for community and soul companionship. You are moving away from the “I” and moving closer to the “We.” What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is giving your focus to humanity, the progress you want to make in this lifetime, and who you want to make it with.
You are learning how to work with others and let go of the need to figure everything out yourself. The more you connect with the people who make you want to team up and form a relationship, rather than the people who make you want to be alone, the better for you.
Virgo South Node: Embracing Compassion Over Perfection
In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to do everything yourself and to have everything all together. You can let go of what no longer serves you by thinking more with your heart than you do with your mind and by trusting this gift of yours. By focusing more on your spirituality, emotional connections, and creativity, you let go of a timid side of you that can disrupt your relationships or the bonds you make.
In past lifetimes, you were focused on perfection. In this lifetime, you are meant to focus on compassion. By surrendering more to the flow of things, you can let go of what no longer serves you while remaining open for what does.
Libra South Node: Rediscovering Your Independence
With your South Node in Libra, you are meant to experience the gifts of independence, freedom, and inner clarity in this lifetime. In the past, you may have been more dependent on the people around you and made a lot of your focus on love. However, in this lifetime, you are being reminded to not lose your identity in others. You can let go of what no longer serves you by only moving towards the things that feel authentic to you.
You are meant to feel confident, inspired, and free in your relationships, and if you don’t feel this way, then that is a sign you are around energy that doesn’t serve you. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime.
Scorpio South Node: Letting Go of Struggles and Embracing Ease
With your South Node in Scorpio, you have lived many lives and have experienced a lot emotionally. In this lifetime, you are learning how to trust the process more and to understand that not everything has to be difficult or trying for you. You can experience great things with ease, and you’ll know you are in the right place when things are just falling into your lap.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is focusing more on the things and people who make you feel safe, stable, and comfortable. Instead of always seeking the rush or the thrill, bring your attention more towards the things that ground you.
Sagittarius South Node: Building Connection Through Learning
Your South Node in Sagittarius urges you towards connection with your community and your immediate environment. In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to be everywhere at once, rather than with the people who matter most to you. You are moving away from knowing everything and into learning everything.
By looking at life as a place where you will learn, grow, and connect, you can let go of the things that stretch you too thin or don’t serve your heart.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is expressing yourself more, meeting new people, and spending time on a cause or creative project that inspires you.
Capricorn South Node: Choosing Home and Foundations Over Status
In this lifetime, you are meant to put more value and effort into your personal life, home, family, and foundations in life. In past lifetimes, a lot of your focus was on your reputation, achievements, and successes, and in this lifetime, you are meant to bring your energy more to the home base, family, and stability in life.
You will know if something is right for you if you want it because it makes you feel safe and nurtured, rather than just something that looks pleasing to the eye. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is by focusing more on your personal life rather than your public, and what you truly see for yourself here.
Aquarius South Node: Shining in Your Individuality
With an Aquarius South Node, you are meant to shine, be seen, and express yourself in this lifetime. You are letting go of the lone wolf energy you are used to, and working on taking up space. You are able to let go of what no longer serves you by being confident in yourself and the decisions you are making.
If someone doesn’t make you feel like the best thing in the entire world, then they aren’t right for you. In past lifetimes, you gave a lot of your energy to your community and the people around you, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on yourself and your path more. It’s all about doing what makes you feel good and trusting that you deserve to.
Pisces South Node: Honoring Logic While Embracing Intuition
Your lesson in this lifetime is that your mind is your gift. In past lives, you were very intuitive, psychic, and spiritual, and in this lifetime, you are learning to trust and honor the logical part of yourself more. You may tend to put your all into your relationships and not get the same energy back, and you are working on taking care of yourself first before you can give to another.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is trusting your body and the signals it gives you when you are around certain people or energy that doesn’t serve. Get organized, figure out your needs, boundaries, and wants, and get clear on who you are and what you want for yourself.
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Featured image by Guido Mieth/Getty Images