You may know Lee Barney's face from the recent thirst trap-themed commercial bestowed upon us by Shea Moisture.
Or you may remember him when he made his first modeling debut in 2016 thanks to Marvin Bienaime who saw fit to capture the budding model Lee in all of his bearded glory. Whichever way he was introduced, you better believe he left a lasting impression. And it wasn't just his blessed facial features or his chiseled frame that made us want to take a second, more fixated look. This Pennsylvania native is a devout family man who is blessed to be surrounded by a pair of loving and supporting parents and a gang of lively siblings.
Lee knows the importance of getting and staying on the right track, especially when it comes to achieving your dreams and making the most out of tough environments. Growing up in Erie, he knew he had to set a positive example, not just for his family or himself, but also for his son. He was able to secure a scholarship playing college football at Johnson C. Smith University where he obtained his Bachelor's degree in English. He would later have a short stint in the NFL but that proved to only be the beginning for Lee.
Since then, he's been able to secure modeling gigs for multiple brands and has even graced the runway for New York Fashion Week. Now, he's set his sights on perfecting his craft and pursuing other creative outlets, such as acting with a couple projects set to film soon.
We got the chance to catch up with Lee to discuss the importance of positive male role models, his ideal partner, and how it feels being “Bearded Bae."
xoNecole: Congratulations on the Shea Moisture commercial. How'd that come about?
Lee Barney: Thank you! Actually, a photographer ended up messaging me and asking me if I'd be interested in doing it. So, I flew out for it. I get there and the set up was real dope. The guys were really cool. We were all just kind of kicking it, you know? The way we were filming it, I didn't think it was going to turn out the way it did. But it was really cool, I liked it a lot.
Now you were fortunate enough not to experience an absentee parent, but there's been this longstanding stigma surrounding black men and their presence or lack of, in the home. How do you feel about that?
I think there's a shift happening of more black fathers wanting to be in their child's life. You know we see what type of world we're living in. We can see that we're not respected. So, I think more black men want to be around their children to tell them they're loved, that they have the same rights as everybody else, and that they're just as good as anybody else. I love driving down the street seeing a black father out with his son or daughter, just enjoying life together. It's a beautiful thing.
There's definitely been this whole sort of movement dedicated to showcasing and emphasizing the importance of positive black family dynamics, specifically when it comes to the father and child. You have a son, so how important do you think that is?
It's very important. Personally, I think it's important not just for what it says about black men, but also what it says about black women. The men need to be seen with their children and need to play an active role in their child's lives. I love being able to go and get my little man and hang out with him, I love it. And I know sometimes we as black men are hard to deal with. It's some dudes out here who think just because they're doing right by the child, they can talk how they want to the child's mother. That's not right, but the fact that the mother still allows him to be a part of their kid's life shows how strong they are.
Black women sometimes let a lot of stuff slide just to make amends and that just really speaks to how strong they can be.
In addition to “strong," how else would you describe black women?
They are magical and wondrous. Black women make you feel so much better about your life. They have a different insight than anyone else in the world. They understand the world in ways that no one else can. Like, what would the world be without women in general but specifically, black women? It's dope when you meet that one that understands what you're going through and you can just go through life with them.
They are magical and wondrous. Black women make you feel so much better about your life.
Speaking of meeting that “one," how do you go about dating now?
I don't try to find or look for anything. I like for things to happen. But I do feel like it doesn't take anything to slide in someone's DMs, I don't like that. Like, if you get turned down, you can just go about your business, you know? (laughs) But to actually see a woman, approach her, get her name, and figure out more about her, I still like that. That's usually how I go about it.
What would make you approach a woman?
She has to have the right vibe to her, like this aura. She's got to draw me in. There's got to be something about her in the way that she carries herself.
If you could create your ideal partner, what characteristics would they have?
I love women who know how to laugh and are God-fearing women. And I like spontaneous women. I don't like to be bored and I'm very spontaneous too so… On a physical note, I like brown-skinned women since my color is a little darker. They just do something to me (laughs). My mother is brown-skinned, my sister. I love them.
Are you currently dating?
I'm dating, but I am getting to know someone. (laughs)
What are some of the things you really hope to have in your next relationship?
She has to have her own. If we were building something together and it didn't work, I don't want to feel bad that I left you and you didn't have anything. Now, if you're with me if you're mine? You won't ever need your purse. I got you. I'm a gentleman. I open doors. I still say yes ma'am, no ma'am. And she has to cook! I can cook too so, we can share that together, but that's kind of huge for me. (laughs)
What are some of the major life lessons that you've learned so far?
Be patient. I thought I would have learned that playing sports, but life is really about being patient. And having a plan. If you just have this dream but you don't have any goals leading to it, then all it will be is a dream. I had dreams and a plan to play pro football and I accomplished that, but it wouldn't have happened if I didn't map out what I needed to do. So, have a plan, be patient, and just be yourself throughout all of it.
On being dubbed “Bearded Bae": It's dope to actually have people look at us in that light but I'm just chilling. It's more fun seeing the other guys turn up. It's cool to see them and for all of us have that exposure. There was one guy on the set; he was real chill when we were there. But now? Oh, he's a rock star on the 'Gram. (laughs)
On his Woman Crushes: Sevyn Streeter, Karrueche, and Ryan Destiny are gorgeous.
On the worst date he's ever been on: I went to the movies with this girl. When we met up, she was 20 minutes late and I like the previews, so I missed all of that. So, when we're inside, the movie has already started and the whole time her phone keeps going off. So, she'll check it, text back or ignore the call then put it down, and she keeps doing it. So, I asked her could she turn her phone light down just to, you know, kind of clue her in to put her phone away. But she ended up walking out to take a phone call and she was gone for like 10 minutes. So, I got up, I saw her outside and just told her bye. I felt disrespected, it was crazy. (laughs)
On 3 things people would be surprised to know: I perform poetry. I like the challenge of keeping someone's attention just with your words. Also, I love to eat (laughs). I'll eat everything, seafood is probably my favorite though. And I can dance! A lot of people don't really expect that either. They see the muscles and all of that, but I got them moves too. (laughs)
For more of Lee Barney, follow him on Instagram.
Shanelle Harris is a Southern-based freelance writer & fashion social media curator. When she's not in class or writing, you can catch her quoting Drake lyrics and spreading #BlackGirlMagic one outfit post at a time. You can follow her on IG: @random__nelle.
Writer. Empath. Escapist. Young, gifted, and Black. Shanelle Genai is a proud Southern girl in a serious relationship with celebrity interviews, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and long walks down Sephora aisles. Keep up with her on IG @shanellegenai.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert