Raise your hand if breakfast is your absolute favorite meal of the day. If that's the case, is it because of all of the health benefits that this particular meal offers (more energy, a kick in your metabolism, a boost of productivity, etc.)? Or is it because of the type of foods that you like to eat; ones that just happen to be your absolute favorite ones overall? If the answer is "B", while I'm certainly not out here to rain on any parades, I do want to encourage you to check out these 10 foods, just to see if the kind of breakfasts that you're having is working for or against you.
If, at the end of this, you discover that the answer to that little dilemma is also "B", while I'm not saying that you've got to go without the foods that bring you so much joy forever, you definitely should strongly consider pushing your plate back more often. Breakfast is supposed to be both good to you and for you. To make sure that happens, certain foods need to be consumed sparingly. Here are the ones that top the "Yeah, you might want to be careful with that" breakfast list.
10 'Bad' Breakfast Foods To Eat Less Of
1. ONLY Fruit Juice
Fruit juice comes from fruit and fruit is good for you; therefore, everything about fruit juice can't be the devil—and it's not. The antioxidants in fruit juice can help to boost your immune system and detoxify your body at the same time. Fruit juice is also a quick and delicious way to get certain vitamins and minerals into your system. Problem is, a lot of us don't drink pure fruit juice. Instead, we go for a cocktail or some other form of juice that is loaded with sugar. In fact, I once read an article that said juices like Ocean Spray 100% Cranberry Juice and Minute Maid Enhanced Pomegranate Blueberry actually contain more sugar than freakin' soda does!
If you don't want to drink only water in the morning, I get it. But try and either squeeze your own juice and/or check out this list of brands to buy and ones to avoid. Oh, and always remember that fructose, even though it comes from fruit, is still sugar. And when it comes to sugar consumption, moderation is always key.
2. Breakfast Bars
I know. Breakfast bars are convenient AF. Here's the thing, though. When was the last time you checked the ingredients on the label to see how many words you could actually pronounce? Unfortunately, some of the most popular breakfast bars are loaded with sugar and preservatives; ones that can cause your blood sugar levels to skyrocket, if you're not careful. If you still want to eat 'em but you'd like a cheat sheet to determine which are better than the rest, I've got you.
An article on The Daily Meal's site shared that ones like KIND Blueberry Breakfast Bars and Go Raw Raisin Crunch Sprouted Bar are pretty good for you while others like Kellogg's Special K Chocolate Peanut Butter Protein Meal Bar and Nutri-Grain Fruit & Oat Harvest Baked Apple Cinnamon, you need to take a hard pass on. Whatever you go with, try not to make breakfast bars a staple. Eat them when you are truly in a pinch.
3. Flavored Yogurt
Ah, yogurt. Precious yogurt. Let's go with the good news first. Yogurt is full of calcium, vitamins B and D, phosphorus, magnesium, and potassium. Most yogurts contain probiotics too. If you're looking for a meat alternative to get a good amount of protein into your system, yogurt's totally got your back. Some studies even indicate that yogurt can help to keep your heart healthy. Problem is, if you opt for flavored yogurt, between the artificial flavoring and coloring and sugar content, you could end up doing your system more harm than good.
As far as figuring out which yogurt is best, the first thing to keep in mind is to apply the "less is more" rule when reading the label. In other words, the more ingredients that you see, the more you're increasing your chances of taking things into your body that it doesn't need. That said, make sure that sugar isn't in the top 3-5 ingredients. Also, check to see that the percentage of Vitamin D that the yogurt contains is on the higher side. Something else that can help you out is the article, "What's the Healthiest Yogurt? We Asked a Nutritionist". It breaks down some pretty popular brands and why some are—and aren't—healthy for you.
4. Sugary Cereal
Does nothing make you happier than a big ole' bowl of cereal? If so, I'm not gonna ruin that for you. The pros to eating cereal are that many of them are a great source of whole grains, fiber, protein, healthy carbs, and even vitamins like B-complex and Vitamin E. Thanks to all of this, cereal can be a great way to give yourself an energy kick at the start of your day. The "con" is a lot of us don't opt for boxes of unprocessed cereal (cereal where grains haven't been ground to a pulp and then mixed with sugar and preservatives before being dried and packaged). We prefer the kind that has as much sugar and artificial colors and flavors as possible. And considering that men should only consume around 36 grams of sugar a day, we should take in no more than 25-30 grams, and some cereal brands have double that amount per serving—well, I'm pretty sure you can see why sugary cereals are the ultimate breakfast no-no.
So, how do you go about selecting a cereal that will do more than just our taste buds good? Well, the more whole grain you see listed on the label, the better. Under 10 grams of sugar per serving is wise. Also, try and avoid cereals that contain "processed fiber" because they won't be able to keep you as regular or lower your cholesterol levels like unprocessed fiber can.
(By the way, if you wanna know if your favorite "junk food cereal" tops the list, check out "28 of the World's Highest Sugar Cereals". Brace yourself. Some on there may catch you totally off guard.)
5. Instant Oatmeal
A lot of us grew up having oatmeal for breakfast, at least a couple of times a week. Good thing too because oatmeal is considered to be a whole grain food that contains an unbelievable amount of manganese (141 percent of your reference daily intake), along with phosphorus, magnesium, copper, iron, zinc, folate, and vitamins B1 and B5. Oatmeal also has the antioxidants avenanthramides in it that can help to lower your blood pressure, the fiber Beta-glucan that promotes bacteria into your digestive tract and, there is even a study that says that babies who eat oatmeal significantly lower their chances of getting asthma later in life.
Just make sure that the oatmeal that you eat isn't instant. The packaging of them alone sounds off alarms about how many preservatives they contain. Plus, it's pretty common for instant oatmeal to have more sugar and less fiber than if you make a bowl the old-fashioned way.
6. Frozen Waffles
If I had a favorite breakfast comfort food, it would probably be French toast first with waffles being a close second. They both are delicious, but neither is the healthiest on the planet. Honestly, they're basically considered to be a pastry and, as far as waffles go, they are usually loaded with white flour and sugar—and that's before you pile on butter and syrup. The only thing more unhealthy than a homemade waffle is a frozen one.
If you look at the label, it usually doesn't have nearly enough of the daily amount of fiber that your body needs while still offering up plenty of preservatives to keep those waffles sitting in your freezer for weeks on end. Hey, I don't want to deprive anyone (including myself) of some chicken and waffles every now and then, but try and save that for special occasions rather than making it your automatic weekend go-to, OK? Cool.
7. Toaster Pastries
Out of everything on this list, the one that I'll probably have the shortest commentary on is toaster pastries. You know, like Pop-Tarts. They're like edible Kool-Aid if you ask me and there is nothing good, healthy, or beneficial about that. They are off-the-charts with the sugar, very low when it comes to fiber and protein, and then have the nerve to come two per package which means you're taking in a ton of empty calories. So, since there is really nothing redeemable about them, how about taking a firm pass, even if you're tempted to eat them, just for nostalgia's sake?
8. Bagels
Hmm. A toasted bagel with butter used to be a fave food of mine. If you also enjoy this particular food (only with cream cheese or some other topping), let me start with why bagels aren't necessarily the worst of the worst when it comes to breakfast options. Each bagel is around 11 grams of protein, three grams of fiber, and a fair amount of manganese, copper, vitamin B-1, and even a bit of iron and zinc. The challenge is they are also high in calories, refined carbs, and, oftentimes gluten too—and that's before you put your toppings on!
Bottom line, if bagels are your thing, you definitely don't need to eat them daily, you should go with a topping like hummus or nut butter, and to get some extra protein into your system, consider topping your bagel with an egg, a slice of salmon or protein—just to balance everything out.
9. Jellies
Here's the thing about most jellies. More times than not, the more popular brands contain a ton of high fructose corn syrup (you can read more about why that is the devil incarnate here), artificial coloring, artificial flavors, and preservatives. Nothing about any of that is good for you (no matter how great the combination may taste). So, it really is best to leave commercial brands alone altogether.
The only exception is if you go with a brand that is as natural as possible. That way, you can take advantage of the pectin (which is a form of fiber) and other nutrients that the fruit that makes the jelly provides. To tell you the truth, the healthiest jelly that you can eat is the kind you make at home (get tips on how to do that here). But if you'd prefer to get some at your local grocery store, Welch's Natural Concord Grape Spread is a jelly that contains no high fructose corn syrup, artificial colors, or flavors. (You're welcome.)
10. Omelets
Now before you freak out on this one, let me just say that yes, eggs are good for you. They're high in protein, folate, zinc, calcium, and vitamins A, B12, D, and E. They are able to raise the level of high-density lipoprotein (HDL), which is "good cholesterol", in your system. The choline that's in eggs can help to build healthy cell membranes. Eggs even contain amino acids that can help to increase your muscle mass. But the reason why I chose to close out with omelets is that sometimes, all of the oil that they're made in, along with the tons of meat and cheese that go inside of them can be like eating a potential heart attack for breakfast!
That's why, first, it's so important to select the best kind of eggs—either pastured ones from a local farmer or Omega-3s, DHAs, or organic ones from your local grocery store (you can read why here). As far as making omelets go, try and put more veggies than meat (and cheese), prepare them in healthy fat like olive, coconut, and mustard oil, and use more cumin and paprika than salt (salt is high in sodium). If you follow these simple tips, you'll be able to enjoy your omelets, knowing that they truly are giving you what you need in order to have a great day.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'We Had To Heal To Love': Taja Simpson And Ryan Easter’s Journey To Lasting Love
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
One of my favorite things about interviewing married couples and hearing their diverse “How We Met” stories is the way they affirm true love and integral beliefs. One principle that I wholeheartedly believe is that one must truly know and love oneself before effectively doing it for another human being, and Taja Simpson and Ryan Easter’s story affirms this.
Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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Feature image by @jorgemezaphotos
Money problems can do a number on our mental health, triggering anxiety, depression, and even substance abuse. Whether it’s the constant Russian roulette of living check to check, not earning enough to afford the basics, or drowning in credit card or student loan debt, the struggle is real for many.
And, according to the National Council On Aging, more than half of American women ages 25 and older report that they do not consider themselves financially secure and are concerned and worried about their retirement.
Much of this is tied to the gender pay gap, which is much wider for Black women, the challenges and stress that come with motherhood, and systemic biases that, over time, can snowball into full-on depression and anxiety disorders. Gen Xers and women who earn less are also more likely to share that a lack of money has a negative impact on their mental health, according to a Bankrate report.
If you’re dealing with financial stress and find yourself constantly fretting about bills and your future, there are several options:
Financial Stress & Black Millennial Women
1. Tap into free therapy and talk openly about your financial situation.
There's freedom in using your voice. Nonprofits and platforms offer free therapy services, or $0 copays if you have insurance, such as 7cups or Grow Therapy. Maybe you need to chat with someone to get a boost of confidence before calling bill collectors to work out payment plans or before giving up your 3-bedroom for a studio in order to cut costs. Do it.
Talk through your issues and get the support you need to cope with some of the shame, avoidance, and other behaviors that can come with facing debt and money issues.
2. Release the shame and honestly face the truth about your debt and lifestyle.
Oftentimes there’s shame involved when you feel like you can’t pay your bills, are always down to your last dime in your bank account, or you’ve racked up a lot of debt. But, just think about this: 60% of women have credit card debt, and women hold 64% of all student loan debt in the U.S. There's also a significant percentage of people who have been late or delinquent on rent and who cannot afford groceries. You’re certainly not alone, and it doesn’t make you a bad person just because you owe somebody money or you're having financial difficulties.
Get in front of it all by tracking your expenses to see exactly where your money is going and how you can make adjustments.
You can also find gaps where you may need to find simple ways to earn more money via a side hustle or even a second part-time job. In some cases, you’ll need to raise your income, while in others cutting back on expenses might be more ideal. Some women have found success in cutting debt and living more financially free by doing both. All of this will require a bit of humility, but you'll be better in the long run once you come to terms with the reality of your situation and own it.
3. Create a debt relief plan, or get help to create one.
According to Nerdwallet, debt relief is a process that can involve negotiating with creditors to settle the debt for less than the full amount owed, wiping the debt out altogether in bankruptcy, or using a debt management plan to get changes in your interest rate or payment schedule. Experts recommend that you consider these options when you literally cannot repay unsecured debt like credit cards, medical bills, and personal loans within five years, even if you “take extreme measures to cut spending.”
You’d want to consider how you can advocate for yourself by handling it on your own, creating a spreadsheet, and honestly facing your debt empowered by the options available to you, or you can get the help of a professional, coach, or nonprofit organization such as the National Foundation of Credit Counseling. If you have a financially savvy family member or friend you feel comfortable confiding in, ask for their help in adjusting your budget to accommodate and create a debt relief plan that you can actually follow, and lean heavily on a strong support system.
4. Find a program that can help you lower or temporarily cover your expenses.
There are government and city housing, meals, and rental assistance programs that you can apply for, and while the process might seem tedious (or maybe you’ve heard things that have led to stigmas), think about your own well-being and what’s best for your life.
If you need a bit of slack in paying for groceries, childcare, utilities, or rent in order to take care of a large debt (or just get a free moment to breathe and plan your next move), unapologetically apply and ask for the help.
This is especially important if you qualify for services or programs due to being a parent, your income range, or a disability. (Check out this list or this one for support and resource options.)
5. Look into grants that can help give you a boost.
While you need to work on financial fitness and management and make that a continuous journey, there are grants out there for women who want to start businesses, side hustles, or even need a bit of cash to get them through a rough patch. Research your options for grants (like those on this list or this grant program), and based on your eligibility, apply.
If you have a legitimate side business idea and you think it will help you bring in more funds, a grant might be the best option for you to get things going and improve your finances. There are grants for single mothers and more resources for women looking to start businesses or get help with their bills.
6. Find fun ways to affirm yourself and rebuild your confidence.
Self-care is important, and there are free ways to ensure that you are at your best and able to adequately advocate for yourself. Schedule walks, even if it’s five minutes during a work break. Use the help of coupons, sky miles, or free community events for beauty treatments, nature experiences, dance lessons, and other fun ways to spend your time versus sitting stressing about money.
Participate in free meetups with others so that you aren't isolating yourself due to shame or being in a rut of always being "broke."
You can do this, sis! You’ve got the power and resources to live comfortably and become financially free. It will take some work, but women like entrepreneur Arnita Johnson, personal finance coach Racheal Hanible, and writer Kiah McBride are proof that it can be done. Let their stories fuel your success.
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