While babymoons have existed for eons, they have grown incredibly popular in recent years! As someone with insufferable wanderlust, there was no doubt that a babymoon was something I wanted to do during my pregnancy, especially because it has always been my goal to maintain pre-mommy personality traits, qualities, and hobbies – before and after the baby is born.
Fortunately for me, and not to toot my own horn, pregnant me was already headed to France for a wedding so I simply decided to extend my trip and travel outside of Paris to conduct my pre-baby meditative vacation in the South of France (exact destination still TBD). Doing so eliminated a lot of the hassle of trying to figure out where to go for a babymoon and lowkey may be a good tip, you know? Double up! If you’re already going somewhere during your pregnancy, pick a babymoon destination nearby based on comfortability and doctor’s orders.
But it also reminds me to point out that there is a major difference between a vacation and a trip! The older you get, the more you realize this. Getting fucked up every day isn’t always the relaxation you crave and even worse when you’re tacking on jetlag. Personally, I find it hard to believe that anyone might return home feeling relaxed under those circumstances. Babymoons are a time to unwind before the baby comes because, while I hope it won’t be anyone’s last trip, it may damn sure be the last relaxing trip before so much of your planning caters to your growing family.
A handful of travel experts provided us with a nice list of destinations that might be perfect for your babymoon, but many of them also pointed out that a babymoon (with its purpose in mind) can be a staycation at a luxurious hotel or off in the cabins – it doesn’t have to be a pricey, passport-toting getaway. Below are 18 destinations that you might consider while mapping out your babymoon.
1. The Bahamas
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The Bahamas offers beautiful beaches, gorgeous resorts, and plenty of activities for expectant parents to enjoy. At Breezes Resort and Spa, you will be pampered with spa treatments and delicious food. The resort also has an array of activities including snorkeling, kayaking, and swimming with dolphins.
– Shawn Richards, Expedition Coordinator and Master Adventurer
Nassau, Paradise Island Bahamas is the perfect vacation for soon-to-be parents to relax and unwind before heading into parenthood. Paradise Island offers visitors an array of different experiences including an afternoon with the world-famous swimming pigs, a tour around the statues of the peaceful Versailles Gardens, or a visit to the National Art Gallery. Atlantis Paradise Island’s The Cove is an elegant hotel perfect for couples seeking a romantic babymoon.
Couples can also enjoy five miles of white sand beaches, tranquil azure waters and so many amenities including golf for the soon-to-be dad and a fun day shopping and self-care for the soon-to-be mom. For a relaxing day at the adults-only pool, couples can spend the day in a private cabana enjoying delicious mocktails and end the night dining at diverse culinary options including Fish by Chef José Andrés, Nobu by Nobu Matsuhisa, Olives by Todd English, and Casa D'Angelo by Chef Angelo Elia.
2. Chicago, IL
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You're not regular parents, you're cool parents, so why not go all out for your last night as a pair? Fly to Chicago and spend a night (or three) in Viceroy Chicago’s penthouse suite. You'll also enjoy a private yacht cruise on the Chicago River, a custom tasting menu at Somerset restaurant, and incredible sunset views from the Devereaux rooftop lounge. Babymoons are a great time to relax, unwind, eat (with two hands because you'll be holding a baby all day!) and pamper yourself.
– Matthew Bowley, Marketing Manager at Solmar Villas
A quick 1.5 - 2 hour drive southwest of Chicago, IL – we have a Babymoon Package that we offer, perfect for the significant other to surprise someone with or plan together. [The Kishauwau Cabins] are located just a 10-minute drive from the largest state park in Illinois, so there are lots of things to do in the area. [The cabins] are a small built-up family business that has been here for over 35 years. Our customers love how well-spaced our cabins are for privacy. We are out in the country, so it’s such a safe property and we get many single women that [travel] here. [Additionally], four of our cabins are dog-friendly.
–Terisa King, Owner of Kishauwau Cabins
3. St. Lucia
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St. Lucia offers a tropical paradise that has a little bit of everything — beaches, waterfalls, parks, and everything in between. If you are looking for an all-inclusive resort, there are a ton to choose from. Here you get to enjoy much-needed rest and take full advantage of the endless spas the resorts have to offer.
Babymoons can be taken anywhere, however, some general considerations that may be helpful before choosing a holiday destination for your babymoon may include avoiding areas with high altitudes or intense heat, being mindful of possible food and waterborne illnesses, and ensuring that there is adequate medical support available in case of an emergency.
– Becky Moore, Founder of Global Grasshopper
Arguably one of the most breathtakingly beautiful resorts in the Caribbean, Jade Mountain offers a relaxing getaway where moms-to-be (and expecting dads) can enjoy a babymoon surrounded by St. Luca’s stunning nature. With sanctuaries that feature uninterrupted views of the famed Pitons surrounded by striking blue waters, butler service, and en-suite private plunge pools, the resort offers an idyllic getaway for expecting parents to be pampered before the baby arrives.
Spend the day relaxing in a private beach hut with perks like mitered cooling spray, fruit kebabs and sorbed, unwind with en-suite yoga and meditations, and satisfy cravings at the resort’s onsite Chocolate Lab where a dedicated Chocolate Alchemist guides guests in making signature sweets, or learn the art of healthy vegan cooling at the resort’s organic, regenerative farm. The options are endless but one thing is for sure: you’ll leave feeling rested, refreshed, and ready for the next steps in your journey.
– Unknown
4. Iceland
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After visiting Iceland myself a couple of years ago I can fully understand the attraction to the country for a babymoon, the air is clean, the population is small and the wide-open spaces help you feel at one with nature. The Blue Lagoon is a must-visit, it is known for its geothermal waters, which are said to have healing properties. The setting is breathtaking as you are surrounded by mountains and black sand beaches. If it wasn't enough to float around supported by the wonderful warm waters you can also enjoy spa treatments and prenatal massages.
– Becky Moore, Founder of Global Grasshopper
5. Poconos, PA
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One of the best babymoon destinations is the Poconos. The Poconos offers a relaxing atmosphere to have an iconic view while picnicking on the lake, taking a walk in the beautiful downtown area, or taking a scenic drive through the mountains. You can skip the adventure and relax with nature before your little one arrives.
– Corritta, It’s a Family Thing
6. Virginia Beach, VA
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Virginia Beach would be an excellent option for one last hoorah before the beautiful new addition. The destination is easily accessible, home to 35 miles of beaches and for those couples who want to enjoy themselves but be mindful of expenses, Virginia Beach is an affordable getaway that still provides the pleasures of a true escape. The most unique package offered in the beach town is from The Barclay Cottage Bed & Breakfast in Virginia Beach.
Located near the oceanfront, the house features wraparound porches on both floors and was originally intended as a golf course clubhouse. Each guestroom features soothing, coastal decor with original hardwood floors, and most offer a private bath. Couples who choose the cottage's Babymoon Package are greeted with chocolate-dipped clementines and sparkling cider in their room plus a couple's massage (prenatal for her, Swedish for him) in the on-site Seagrass Massage Room during their stay.
– Francisco Perdomo
7. The Florida Keys
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The Florida Keys are also great for single moms – our resorts are in Islamorada, only 90 minutes from Miami and the MIA Airport so it’s an easy and safe destination to travel solo. It’s similar to a Caribbean destination without ever leaving the U.S. Moms-to-be can be as active as they’d like to be – relax poolside or get out on the water. Moms will wake up on the sunrise side of Islamorada.
Couples can enjoy an oceanfront pool, boat excursions, and daily activities from sunrise to sunset such as beachside yoga. We also have a large mocktail menu which is appreciated by mamas. Amara Cay Resort hosts babymoons on a weekly basis.
–Sarah Vining
8. San Juan Island, WA
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Need some time off before the baby arrives? Spend a memorable weekend at the Tucker House Inn & Harrison House Suites on magical San Juan Island. They’ll pamper the expectant parent(s), provide satiating food and relaxation with freshly baked house-made cookies, a sparkling non-alcoholic beverage, truffles waiting upon arrival, and a $50 voucher to tide-to-table Coho Restaurant for a candlelit dinner. A gourmet breakfast in bed every morning and a special prenatal massage for the mom-to-be at a local spa round out the indulgence. They’ll even satisfy the prenatal cravings of the new mama with ice cream made just for her! Where else can you do a babymoon and receive an orca whale onesie for your new arrival?
The San Juan Islands are a short floatplane ride from Seattle or an hour-long leisurely ferry ride from the mainland of Washington State. Consistently recognized as a top travel destination by TripAdvisor, Travel + Leisure, and Condé Nast Traveler for the last decade, the Islands offer nature and nurture--gentle hikes, sea kayaking, farm-to-table foods, and pampering spas await.
–Amy M. Nesler, Stewardship & Communications Manager
9. Niantic, Connecticut
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[This] is the most perfect place for any woman ready to take her babymoon. The Inn at Harbor Hill Marina Bed and Breakfast is a restored inn located in the marina district and has the most beautiful views you will ever see. It offers elegance, nostalgia, and relaxation to its guests. This place is fantastic because it's within walking distance of a lot of local shops and restaurants, so you can stroll along and enjoy the area. Best of all, this inn offers special packages to residents for anniversaries, simple getaways, or relaxation. It's also said that they offer packages specifically for babymoons! So don't be afraid to check it out!
– Suzanne Bucknam CEO, The Connecticut Explorer
10. Maui, Hawaii
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Maui is home to golden sand beaches, swimming, snorkeling, golfing, and consistently sunny skies, making it a perfect choice for a babymoon. Here, visitors can relax on famed Kaanapali Beach, take a light walking tour of Haleakala National Park and attend a showing of Old Lahaina Luau to learn and enjoy all that Hawaiian culture has to offer. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort and Spa is an ideal resort for a babymoon getaway as it stands out when it comes to relaxation. The hotel has recently completed the multimillion-dollar renovation of its 810 guestrooms and lobby and is the perfect place to unwind.
Soon-to-be-parents can enjoy a relaxing couples massage or feel an authentic sense of Hawaii with the Lomi Lomi Massage at the Marilyn Monroe Spa, the only oceanfront spa on Maui. The resort also hosts an award-winning Drums of the Pacific Lu’au. [Last but not least], it features six free-form pool areas, oceanfront cabanas, various dining destinations, and much more.
11. Palm Beach, Aruba
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Aruba, the happy island, is the perfect place for parents to enjoy an authentic Caribbean babymoon. Known for its year-round sunshine, Aruba boasts amazing weather with low humidity and refreshing east trade wind breezes. Aruba is easily accessible with daily flights arriving from across the country and has plenty of activities for couples to enjoy. Aruba is known for some of the most amazing beaches including Baby Beach, known for its shallow and calm waters it is the perfect place for soon-to-be parents to relax. The scenic coastline makes the perfect backdrop for couples to have a romantic day on a Monforte Luxury Cruise.
Located on 12 acres of luxe waterfront property, Hyatt Regency Aruba Resort Spa and Casino is the perfect place to stay on this vacation. The resort recently finished a multimillion-dollar renovation that includes the brand-new ZoiA Spa and Trankilo, an adults-only pool with 10 private cabanas where guests can receive spa treatments as well. Couples can enjoy treatments including Aruba Sun Rescue using local aloe to Island Breeze with a pineapple sugar scrub to Massage den Awa, a gentle form of body therapy performed in the Trankilo pool for deep relaxation that combines elements of massage, shiatsu, and muscle stretching.
12. St. Barths
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Hôtel Barrière Le Carl Gustaf opened in St. Barths in October 2020. The five-star resort exudes luxury, elegance, and French-style charm throughout its 21 luxurious rooms, suites, and bungalows, including a Penthouse Suite. Set amid tropical elegance that creates an ambiance of well-being, relaxation, and letting go, Le Carl is the perfect place for a babymoon. The Hotel Barrière Le Carl Gustaf is the only hotel on the island boasting panoramic views of the port of Gustavia, the island’s capital. Guests can enjoy the renowned Fouquet’s restaurant which has made the journey from Paris to offer guests the delicious and exciting cuisine created by three-star Michelin Chef Pierre Gagnaire.
The spa offers multi-sensory stimulation, bespoke holistic treatments, and tailored massages. They also offer a treatment called a Serenity Massage that is perfect for expectant mothers who are 4-8 months pregnant and relieves backache, lightens the legs, and improves skin elasticity. They offer pure and natural products from Biologique Recherche. The hotel is situated in close distance to other key attractions of the area including the idyllic Shell Beach and its superb Shellona restaurant; the lively port, with its tranquil alleyways and sophisticated boutiques; and the natural sea pools of Grand Fond and Petit-Cul de Sac.
13. West Hollywood, CA
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Andaz West Hollywood is perfect for soon-to-be parents who love music and film as it is Los Angeles’ iconic rock ‘n’ roll hotel located on the famous Sunset Strip in West Hollywood, California where musical history, celebrity, and style come together. Couples can enjoy spectacular views of the Hollywood Hills on one side and the Sunset Strip and Downtown Los Angeles on the other from the hotel’s rooftop pool, complete with a poolside bar and an array of cabanas to revel in. The pool is the highest rooftop pool in Los Angeles, making for a truly unforgettable getaway. The hotel also features the acclaimed Riot House Restaurant for a night of dining in West Hollywood.
14. Sanibel, FL
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As one of the prettiest beaches and state parks in Florida, Sanibel is the perfect weekend getaway for couples or single women alike. Sanibel is an ideal location for a babymoon because you can relax on the beach, take a nap on a hammock, lie by the pool or simply lay in your room and admire the Intracoastal views from your balcony. Or, if you want to shop around the town for the little one on the way, there are tons of quaint shops to explore.
Sanibel Harbor Resort is home to one of the best spas in Florida on Punta Rassa, a peninsula on San Carlos Bay. While staying at the hotel, you can enjoy a full menu of therapeutic treatments. Most importantly, they have a Prenatal Massage which is perfect for moms to be. This massage is custom designed to focus on the discomfort that happens during pregnancy.
– Nikki Webster, Brit on the Move15. The Great Smoky Mountains, NC
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The weather in this location is warm and pleasant depending on the time of year, making it ideal for relaxing. The Great Smoky Mountains are ideal for a babymoon because of the pleasant weather, numerous activities, breathtaking views, and soothing ambiance, as well as the fact that it is a budget-friendly trip.
– Jenny Ly
16. Florence, Italy
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Before the baby arrives, take that romantic trip to Italy you’ve always said you would. The picturesque capital of Italy’s Tuscany region is known for its culture, architecture, and fascinating history. Elevate your trip with a stay at Four Seasons Hotel Firenze, a five-star urban resort minutes from the Uffizi and the Duomo. Dine on the Arno River: A quiet dinner for two may soon be a thing of the past.
Don’t miss the opportunity to enjoy a memorable meal on the private fourth-floor terrace of the Ponte Vecchio – Florence’s signature bridge. The hotel enjoys exclusive access to the bridge’s only open-air terrace, where guests can indulge in a four-course meal designed by Michelin-starred chef Vito Mollica. (Available May through October.)
17. Scottsdale, AZ
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Scottsdale [offers] more spas per capita than any other U.S. city, Scottsdale is a logical destination for pregnant guests seeking R&R. Between massages, pedicures, and pampering, visitors can kick back at the Four Seasons Resort Scottsdale at Troon North, taking time to explore the golf course and area’s culinary scene. [They offer a] “Hello Baby” Package – with comforts from the luxury casita accommodations to the complimentary maternity pillow, moms-to-be are guaranteed to leave Scottsdale feeling rejuvenated. The resort’s special babymoon package includes a credit for poolside mocktails, maternity massage, or comfort food classics at the Proof restaurant.
– Gianni Lai
18. Cartagena, Colombia
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Colombia is much closer to the U.S. than most people think, the city of Cartagena, also known as “Cartagena de Indias” is located on the Caribbean Sea, in the northwestern part of the continent. Bringing together the charm of colonial architecture, fascinating cultural festivals, and lush landscapes, Cartagena de Indias brings together the perfect babymoon experience. Framed by its stunning bay, Cartagena de Indias is one of the most beautiful, well-preserved cities in the Americas.
Casa San Agustín [is a] luxurious small hotel restored and reimagined for a new generation of travelers, Casa San Agustín echoes Cartagena’s fresh contemporary style and colorful Caribbean sensibility. From original frescoes in the library to centuries-old wood-beamed ceilings in the guest rooms, Casa San Agustín’s art and architecture evoke the city’s rich history as a 17th-century Spanish stronghold. The hotel’s Aurum Spa offers traditional Hammam treatments for increased circulation, the release of tension, and nourishment for the skin.
– Pro ColombiaAnd this doesn’t even begin to cover all the destinations you might consider for your babymoon, as anywhere in the country could make for a great destination depending on what it is that you’re looking for. Additionally, where you choose to travel will depend on how far you are in your pregnancy.
Be sure to consult with your OB/GYN for any additional tips on how to travel safely during your pregnancy. Safe travels!
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Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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Or, if Christmas is your favorite time of the year, “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?” may provide you with some holiday inspiration (speaking of Christmas, instead of rose petals, how about putting some poinsettia leaves on your bed? If you heard somewhere that they can be toxic, you’d have to eat like 500 of them for that to be the case, so no worries).
This year, along these same lines, I decided to share 12 creative things that you can do starting now through Christmastime. Each idea is festive, fun, and has its own aphrodisiac element to it that very well could turn this holiday season into some of the best sex that you’ve ever had. Ready?
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1. Snowstorm Sound Effects
Charge it to my mother being a New Yorker and/or me being born in Nebraska, but whenever I think of a romantic getaway, being in a log cabin that’s surrounded by nothing but pine trees and tons of snow is my idea of a really good time. Hmph, meanwhile, I’m writing this while Nashville is currently in the 60s-70s during the day. SMDH.
If you can currently feel my pain and you wish that you had a bit of snow around to get into the holiday season spirit, there are plenty of ASMR videos on YouTube that mimic snowstorms (like these here, here, and here) for you and your bae to cuddle up and listen or, umm, do other stuff to.
I mean, since science says that fall and winter are the best times for sex anyway (check out “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?”), why not do what you can to create as much of the ambiance as possible?
2. Paper Snowflakes (with Sexy Messages on Them)
Speaking of snow, when’s the last time that you’ve made some paper snowflakes? As a child, you may have created them for decoration. Now that you’re grown, though, put a bit of a twist to them by writing sexy messages on the back — you know, things like your favorite sex memory with your partner, a fantasy that you’d like to explore, or what you enjoy most about your man as far as intimacy goes.
You can put the snowflakes in your partner’s briefcase, underneath their pillow, or even hang them over your bed. If you’ve forgotten how to make them, no problem; click here for some instructions.
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3. Portable Fireplaces (or Flameless LED Candles)
Last year, I purchased something that I think is too cute for a friend of mine: tiny reusable bonfires. If you don’t happen to have a fireplace in your home, on some levels, they are the next best thing because they can create a romantic mood on a smaller level. I especially like tabletop firepits (like this one here) and even portable mid-century LED fireplaces (like this one here). Or, if you want something a bit larger, there are indoor tabletop fireplaces that are smokeless and odorless (like this one here).
Speaking of fires, if you and your partner plan on some R&B (meaning all night long) sex, I’d feel better if you went with some LED candles or something. You can put dozens of them all over your bedroom, have sex, fall asleep, and not have to worry about them one bit.
4. DIY Sex Gratitude Journal
How fitting is it that writer William Arthur Ward once said, “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it?" Since Thanksgiving is the holiday when all are encouraged to express thanks for what they are truly grateful for, purchase a fresh journal, decorate it, and then fill it with things about intimacy with your man that truly moves you.
Then, read some of the entries out loud to him. Learning how to incorporate all five senses (in this case, hearing) into sexual activity (check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever”) is how to make the experiences better than they’ve ever been.
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5. Homemade Candied Pecans
Pecan pie is pretty popular around this time of year. Well, did you know that pecans are considered to be aphrodisiacs? The main reason is that they are a fairly good source of zinc and zinc increases blood circulation, boosts your libido, and can even help with erectile dysfunction (if that’s something that your partner happens to deal with). So, why not curl up and snack on some homemade candied pecans (easy recipe here) while watching a movie or listening to some holiday music together? You never know how delicious the night may turn out to be because of it. Literally.
6. Cranberry (or Gingerbread) Syrup
A few years ago, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious.” In it, I shouted out chocolate syrup; however, today, I’m gonna go with something that is a little less…predictable. Chile, we already know that cranberry sauce is gonna be sitting on somebody’s Thanksgiving table, and there’s a pretty good chance that a gingerbread house (or at least some gingersnaps) is going to be available over Christmas, so why not pick up some cranberry or gingerbread syrup?
Since cranberries and ginger are both considered to be aphrodisiacs, it can be a super sexy move to dab a bit of syrup on some of your favorite sex pressure points (and his).
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7. A Lil' “Sex Christmas Tree”
Whether you plan on putting a (real, right?) Christmas tree in your living room or not, again, in the spirit of the holiday, get a small artificial one for a nightstand or the top of your dresser in your bedroom. Then you can hang a few sex-related items like flavored condoms, Santa hat nipple pasties, sex position ornaments, edible penis wraps, and picture strips — and whatever else your freaky lil’ mind can think of!
8. Edible Bows
Red velvet lingerie is definitely a nice touch during the holiday season. And although whether men prefer lingerie or nudity is really up to which guy you ask, I can’t think of one who is gonna have a problem with you wrapping your birthday suit up in a bow — especially if it’s an edible one. Yep, I actually came across a YouTube video (here) that walks you through how to make one of those. And although it’s not something that you can do in 10 minutes or less, I do think the end result will make it far worth the time investment. Don’t you?
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9. Pumpkin-Flavored Whipped Cream
Another sex condiment that I shared in the article that I referred to earlier is whipped cream. Since pumpkins are currently in season, acknowledge them by bringing some pumpkin-flavored whipped cream into the mix. You can always purchase the kind that’s already made (like this brand here), or you can even make a batch of your own (via a recipe like this here). That way, you can customize how sweet and thick you want the cream to be in order to stand up to your…plans. #wink
10. Bourbon Eggnog
Eggnog is definitely a signature holiday drink, and a few years back, I shouted it out in the article “12 Traditional Christmas Items That Are Low-Key Aphrodisiacs Too.” Why? Well, the vanilla, honey, and nutmeg that’s in it are all considered to be aphrodisiacs. If you add a bit of bourbon (which is a type of whiskey) to it, that can help to calm your nerves, which can ultimately make climaxing so much easier to do. A recipe for homemade bourbon eggnog is right here.
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11. Peppermint Chocolate Bath Bombs
Peppermint and chocolate will also be in abundance around the holidays, and, as life would have it, they are considered to be aphrodisiacs,too. So, whether you plan on soaking in the bath to prepare for what the night has to offer or you and your boo thang are going to hang out in the tub together (even better!), why not throw a few DIY peppermint chocolate bath bombs (recipe here) in there? The scent alone will make you want to turn each other into your desserts after you get up outta there.
12. Sexy Homemade Holiday Lip Balm
Even though I am well aware of the fact that some people hate to kiss (check out “Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?”), I also know that science says that kissing can help you find your ideal partner, and it can definitely make your sexual experiences better (check out “Wanna Climax More? KISS MORE.”). And although things like shea butter and batana oil (a personal favorite of mine) can give you some super smooth lips (after exfoliating them, of course), kissing will be even more scrumptious if you’ve got some flavored lip balm on.
A peppermint lip balm recipe is here (add a bit of Stevia, honey, or date sugar for flavoring), a chocolate lip balm recipe is here, and a vanilla lip balm recipe is here. Your man won’t be able to get enough of you — all holiday season long! ‘Tis the season, chile.
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