While babymoons have existed for eons, they have grown incredibly popular in recent years! As someone with insufferable wanderlust, there was no doubt that a babymoon was something I wanted to do during my pregnancy, especially because it has always been my goal to maintain pre-mommy personality traits, qualities, and hobbies – before and after the baby is born.
Fortunately for me, and not to toot my own horn, pregnant me was already headed to France for a wedding so I simply decided to extend my trip and travel outside of Paris to conduct my pre-baby meditative vacation in the South of France (exact destination still TBD). Doing so eliminated a lot of the hassle of trying to figure out where to go for a babymoon and lowkey may be a good tip, you know? Double up! If you’re already going somewhere during your pregnancy, pick a babymoon destination nearby based on comfortability and doctor’s orders.
But it also reminds me to point out that there is a major difference between a vacation and a trip! The older you get, the more you realize this. Getting fucked up every day isn’t always the relaxation you crave and even worse when you’re tacking on jetlag. Personally, I find it hard to believe that anyone might return home feeling relaxed under those circumstances. Babymoons are a time to unwind before the baby comes because, while I hope it won’t be anyone’s last trip, it may damn sure be the last relaxing trip before so much of your planning caters to your growing family.
A handful of travel experts provided us with a nice list of destinations that might be perfect for your babymoon, but many of them also pointed out that a babymoon (with its purpose in mind) can be a staycation at a luxurious hotel or off in the cabins – it doesn’t have to be a pricey, passport-toting getaway. Below are 18 destinations that you might consider while mapping out your babymoon.
1. The Bahamas
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The Bahamas offers beautiful beaches, gorgeous resorts, and plenty of activities for expectant parents to enjoy. At Breezes Resort and Spa, you will be pampered with spa treatments and delicious food. The resort also has an array of activities including snorkeling, kayaking, and swimming with dolphins.
– Shawn Richards, Expedition Coordinator and Master Adventurer
Nassau, Paradise Island Bahamas is the perfect vacation for soon-to-be parents to relax and unwind before heading into parenthood. Paradise Island offers visitors an array of different experiences including an afternoon with the world-famous swimming pigs, a tour around the statues of the peaceful Versailles Gardens, or a visit to the National Art Gallery. Atlantis Paradise Island’s The Cove is an elegant hotel perfect for couples seeking a romantic babymoon.
Couples can also enjoy five miles of white sand beaches, tranquil azure waters and so many amenities including golf for the soon-to-be dad and a fun day shopping and self-care for the soon-to-be mom. For a relaxing day at the adults-only pool, couples can spend the day in a private cabana enjoying delicious mocktails and end the night dining at diverse culinary options including Fish by Chef José Andrés, Nobu by Nobu Matsuhisa, Olives by Todd English, and Casa D'Angelo by Chef Angelo Elia.
2. Chicago, IL
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You're not regular parents, you're cool parents, so why not go all out for your last night as a pair? Fly to Chicago and spend a night (or three) in Viceroy Chicago’s penthouse suite. You'll also enjoy a private yacht cruise on the Chicago River, a custom tasting menu at Somerset restaurant, and incredible sunset views from the Devereaux rooftop lounge. Babymoons are a great time to relax, unwind, eat (with two hands because you'll be holding a baby all day!) and pamper yourself.
– Matthew Bowley, Marketing Manager at Solmar Villas
A quick 1.5 - 2 hour drive southwest of Chicago, IL – we have a Babymoon Package that we offer, perfect for the significant other to surprise someone with or plan together. [The Kishauwau Cabins] are located just a 10-minute drive from the largest state park in Illinois, so there are lots of things to do in the area. [The cabins] are a small built-up family business that has been here for over 35 years. Our customers love how well-spaced our cabins are for privacy. We are out in the country, so it’s such a safe property and we get many single women that [travel] here. [Additionally], four of our cabins are dog-friendly.
–Terisa King, Owner of Kishauwau Cabins
3. St. Lucia
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St. Lucia offers a tropical paradise that has a little bit of everything — beaches, waterfalls, parks, and everything in between. If you are looking for an all-inclusive resort, there are a ton to choose from. Here you get to enjoy much-needed rest and take full advantage of the endless spas the resorts have to offer.
Babymoons can be taken anywhere, however, some general considerations that may be helpful before choosing a holiday destination for your babymoon may include avoiding areas with high altitudes or intense heat, being mindful of possible food and waterborne illnesses, and ensuring that there is adequate medical support available in case of an emergency.
– Becky Moore, Founder of Global Grasshopper
Arguably one of the most breathtakingly beautiful resorts in the Caribbean, Jade Mountain offers a relaxing getaway where moms-to-be (and expecting dads) can enjoy a babymoon surrounded by St. Luca’s stunning nature. With sanctuaries that feature uninterrupted views of the famed Pitons surrounded by striking blue waters, butler service, and en-suite private plunge pools, the resort offers an idyllic getaway for expecting parents to be pampered before the baby arrives.
Spend the day relaxing in a private beach hut with perks like mitered cooling spray, fruit kebabs and sorbed, unwind with en-suite yoga and meditations, and satisfy cravings at the resort’s onsite Chocolate Lab where a dedicated Chocolate Alchemist guides guests in making signature sweets, or learn the art of healthy vegan cooling at the resort’s organic, regenerative farm. The options are endless but one thing is for sure: you’ll leave feeling rested, refreshed, and ready for the next steps in your journey.
– Unknown
4. Iceland
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After visiting Iceland myself a couple of years ago I can fully understand the attraction to the country for a babymoon, the air is clean, the population is small and the wide-open spaces help you feel at one with nature. The Blue Lagoon is a must-visit, it is known for its geothermal waters, which are said to have healing properties. The setting is breathtaking as you are surrounded by mountains and black sand beaches. If it wasn't enough to float around supported by the wonderful warm waters you can also enjoy spa treatments and prenatal massages.
– Becky Moore, Founder of Global Grasshopper
5. Poconos, PA
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One of the best babymoon destinations is the Poconos. The Poconos offers a relaxing atmosphere to have an iconic view while picnicking on the lake, taking a walk in the beautiful downtown area, or taking a scenic drive through the mountains. You can skip the adventure and relax with nature before your little one arrives.
– Corritta, It’s a Family Thing
6. Virginia Beach, VA
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Virginia Beach would be an excellent option for one last hoorah before the beautiful new addition. The destination is easily accessible, home to 35 miles of beaches and for those couples who want to enjoy themselves but be mindful of expenses, Virginia Beach is an affordable getaway that still provides the pleasures of a true escape. The most unique package offered in the beach town is from The Barclay Cottage Bed & Breakfast in Virginia Beach.
Located near the oceanfront, the house features wraparound porches on both floors and was originally intended as a golf course clubhouse. Each guestroom features soothing, coastal decor with original hardwood floors, and most offer a private bath. Couples who choose the cottage's Babymoon Package are greeted with chocolate-dipped clementines and sparkling cider in their room plus a couple's massage (prenatal for her, Swedish for him) in the on-site Seagrass Massage Room during their stay.
– Francisco Perdomo
7. The Florida Keys
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The Florida Keys are also great for single moms – our resorts are in Islamorada, only 90 minutes from Miami and the MIA Airport so it’s an easy and safe destination to travel solo. It’s similar to a Caribbean destination without ever leaving the U.S. Moms-to-be can be as active as they’d like to be – relax poolside or get out on the water. Moms will wake up on the sunrise side of Islamorada.
Couples can enjoy an oceanfront pool, boat excursions, and daily activities from sunrise to sunset such as beachside yoga. We also have a large mocktail menu which is appreciated by mamas. Amara Cay Resort hosts babymoons on a weekly basis.
–Sarah Vining
8. San Juan Island, WA
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Need some time off before the baby arrives? Spend a memorable weekend at the Tucker House Inn & Harrison House Suites on magical San Juan Island. They’ll pamper the expectant parent(s), provide satiating food and relaxation with freshly baked house-made cookies, a sparkling non-alcoholic beverage, truffles waiting upon arrival, and a $50 voucher to tide-to-table Coho Restaurant for a candlelit dinner. A gourmet breakfast in bed every morning and a special prenatal massage for the mom-to-be at a local spa round out the indulgence. They’ll even satisfy the prenatal cravings of the new mama with ice cream made just for her! Where else can you do a babymoon and receive an orca whale onesie for your new arrival?
The San Juan Islands are a short floatplane ride from Seattle or an hour-long leisurely ferry ride from the mainland of Washington State. Consistently recognized as a top travel destination by TripAdvisor, Travel + Leisure, and Condé Nast Traveler for the last decade, the Islands offer nature and nurture--gentle hikes, sea kayaking, farm-to-table foods, and pampering spas await.
–Amy M. Nesler, Stewardship & Communications Manager
9. Niantic, Connecticut
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[This] is the most perfect place for any woman ready to take her babymoon. The Inn at Harbor Hill Marina Bed and Breakfast is a restored inn located in the marina district and has the most beautiful views you will ever see. It offers elegance, nostalgia, and relaxation to its guests. This place is fantastic because it's within walking distance of a lot of local shops and restaurants, so you can stroll along and enjoy the area. Best of all, this inn offers special packages to residents for anniversaries, simple getaways, or relaxation. It's also said that they offer packages specifically for babymoons! So don't be afraid to check it out!
– Suzanne Bucknam CEO, The Connecticut Explorer
10. Maui, Hawaii
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Maui is home to golden sand beaches, swimming, snorkeling, golfing, and consistently sunny skies, making it a perfect choice for a babymoon. Here, visitors can relax on famed Kaanapali Beach, take a light walking tour of Haleakala National Park and attend a showing of Old Lahaina Luau to learn and enjoy all that Hawaiian culture has to offer. Hyatt Regency Maui Resort and Spa is an ideal resort for a babymoon getaway as it stands out when it comes to relaxation. The hotel has recently completed the multimillion-dollar renovation of its 810 guestrooms and lobby and is the perfect place to unwind.
Soon-to-be-parents can enjoy a relaxing couples massage or feel an authentic sense of Hawaii with the Lomi Lomi Massage at the Marilyn Monroe Spa, the only oceanfront spa on Maui. The resort also hosts an award-winning Drums of the Pacific Lu’au. [Last but not least], it features six free-form pool areas, oceanfront cabanas, various dining destinations, and much more.
11. Palm Beach, Aruba
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Aruba, the happy island, is the perfect place for parents to enjoy an authentic Caribbean babymoon. Known for its year-round sunshine, Aruba boasts amazing weather with low humidity and refreshing east trade wind breezes. Aruba is easily accessible with daily flights arriving from across the country and has plenty of activities for couples to enjoy. Aruba is known for some of the most amazing beaches including Baby Beach, known for its shallow and calm waters it is the perfect place for soon-to-be parents to relax. The scenic coastline makes the perfect backdrop for couples to have a romantic day on a Monforte Luxury Cruise.
Located on 12 acres of luxe waterfront property, Hyatt Regency Aruba Resort Spa and Casino is the perfect place to stay on this vacation. The resort recently finished a multimillion-dollar renovation that includes the brand-new ZoiA Spa and Trankilo, an adults-only pool with 10 private cabanas where guests can receive spa treatments as well. Couples can enjoy treatments including Aruba Sun Rescue using local aloe to Island Breeze with a pineapple sugar scrub to Massage den Awa, a gentle form of body therapy performed in the Trankilo pool for deep relaxation that combines elements of massage, shiatsu, and muscle stretching.
12. St. Barths
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Hôtel Barrière Le Carl Gustaf opened in St. Barths in October 2020. The five-star resort exudes luxury, elegance, and French-style charm throughout its 21 luxurious rooms, suites, and bungalows, including a Penthouse Suite. Set amid tropical elegance that creates an ambiance of well-being, relaxation, and letting go, Le Carl is the perfect place for a babymoon. The Hotel Barrière Le Carl Gustaf is the only hotel on the island boasting panoramic views of the port of Gustavia, the island’s capital. Guests can enjoy the renowned Fouquet’s restaurant which has made the journey from Paris to offer guests the delicious and exciting cuisine created by three-star Michelin Chef Pierre Gagnaire.
The spa offers multi-sensory stimulation, bespoke holistic treatments, and tailored massages. They also offer a treatment called a Serenity Massage that is perfect for expectant mothers who are 4-8 months pregnant and relieves backache, lightens the legs, and improves skin elasticity. They offer pure and natural products from Biologique Recherche. The hotel is situated in close distance to other key attractions of the area including the idyllic Shell Beach and its superb Shellona restaurant; the lively port, with its tranquil alleyways and sophisticated boutiques; and the natural sea pools of Grand Fond and Petit-Cul de Sac.
13. West Hollywood, CA
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Andaz West Hollywood is perfect for soon-to-be parents who love music and film as it is Los Angeles’ iconic rock ‘n’ roll hotel located on the famous Sunset Strip in West Hollywood, California where musical history, celebrity, and style come together. Couples can enjoy spectacular views of the Hollywood Hills on one side and the Sunset Strip and Downtown Los Angeles on the other from the hotel’s rooftop pool, complete with a poolside bar and an array of cabanas to revel in. The pool is the highest rooftop pool in Los Angeles, making for a truly unforgettable getaway. The hotel also features the acclaimed Riot House Restaurant for a night of dining in West Hollywood.
14. Sanibel, FL
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As one of the prettiest beaches and state parks in Florida, Sanibel is the perfect weekend getaway for couples or single women alike. Sanibel is an ideal location for a babymoon because you can relax on the beach, take a nap on a hammock, lie by the pool or simply lay in your room and admire the Intracoastal views from your balcony. Or, if you want to shop around the town for the little one on the way, there are tons of quaint shops to explore.
Sanibel Harbor Resort is home to one of the best spas in Florida on Punta Rassa, a peninsula on San Carlos Bay. While staying at the hotel, you can enjoy a full menu of therapeutic treatments. Most importantly, they have a Prenatal Massage which is perfect for moms to be. This massage is custom designed to focus on the discomfort that happens during pregnancy.
– Nikki Webster, Brit on the Move15. The Great Smoky Mountains, NC
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The weather in this location is warm and pleasant depending on the time of year, making it ideal for relaxing. The Great Smoky Mountains are ideal for a babymoon because of the pleasant weather, numerous activities, breathtaking views, and soothing ambiance, as well as the fact that it is a budget-friendly trip.
– Jenny Ly
16. Florence, Italy
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Before the baby arrives, take that romantic trip to Italy you’ve always said you would. The picturesque capital of Italy’s Tuscany region is known for its culture, architecture, and fascinating history. Elevate your trip with a stay at Four Seasons Hotel Firenze, a five-star urban resort minutes from the Uffizi and the Duomo. Dine on the Arno River: A quiet dinner for two may soon be a thing of the past.
Don’t miss the opportunity to enjoy a memorable meal on the private fourth-floor terrace of the Ponte Vecchio – Florence’s signature bridge. The hotel enjoys exclusive access to the bridge’s only open-air terrace, where guests can indulge in a four-course meal designed by Michelin-starred chef Vito Mollica. (Available May through October.)
17. Scottsdale, AZ
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Scottsdale [offers] more spas per capita than any other U.S. city, Scottsdale is a logical destination for pregnant guests seeking R&R. Between massages, pedicures, and pampering, visitors can kick back at the Four Seasons Resort Scottsdale at Troon North, taking time to explore the golf course and area’s culinary scene. [They offer a] “Hello Baby” Package – with comforts from the luxury casita accommodations to the complimentary maternity pillow, moms-to-be are guaranteed to leave Scottsdale feeling rejuvenated. The resort’s special babymoon package includes a credit for poolside mocktails, maternity massage, or comfort food classics at the Proof restaurant.
– Gianni Lai
18. Cartagena, Colombia
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Colombia is much closer to the U.S. than most people think, the city of Cartagena, also known as “Cartagena de Indias” is located on the Caribbean Sea, in the northwestern part of the continent. Bringing together the charm of colonial architecture, fascinating cultural festivals, and lush landscapes, Cartagena de Indias brings together the perfect babymoon experience. Framed by its stunning bay, Cartagena de Indias is one of the most beautiful, well-preserved cities in the Americas.
Casa San Agustín [is a] luxurious small hotel restored and reimagined for a new generation of travelers, Casa San Agustín echoes Cartagena’s fresh contemporary style and colorful Caribbean sensibility. From original frescoes in the library to centuries-old wood-beamed ceilings in the guest rooms, Casa San Agustín’s art and architecture evoke the city’s rich history as a 17th-century Spanish stronghold. The hotel’s Aurum Spa offers traditional Hammam treatments for increased circulation, the release of tension, and nourishment for the skin.
– Pro ColombiaAnd this doesn’t even begin to cover all the destinations you might consider for your babymoon, as anywhere in the country could make for a great destination depending on what it is that you’re looking for. Additionally, where you choose to travel will depend on how far you are in your pregnancy.
Be sure to consult with your OB/GYN for any additional tips on how to travel safely during your pregnancy. Safe travels!
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Mercury enters Aries from April 16 until May 10, and what you were trying to see through or understand better while Mercury was retrograde here last month, you are experiencing a breakthrough now. Mercury in Aries is insightful and courageous, and people are more likely to speak their minds and initiate conversation with this energy. Mars then enters Leo from April 18 until June 17, reminding us that sometimes it’s okay to be a little more selfish and to focus on what you need right now. Mars in Leo brings forth confidence, creativity, and passion, and brings an exciting energy to charge of your life and advocate for yourself.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, bringing some earth sign energy into the mix, grounding and nurturing what you are creating in your life right now. On April 27, we have a New Moon in Taurus, and this is an abundant and fruitful New Moon. This is one of the best New Moons of the year for you to set your intentions for your financial world and a time for seeing new opportunities for abundance. On the last day of the month, Venus moves into Aries until June 6th, and love requires a little more passion, independence, and excitement during this time.
Overall, April is a month of feeling things through, taking more intuitive risks, investing in yourself, and balancing your needs with the needs of your relationships.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what April has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
April is your month to shine, Aries. With the chaos of March now over, you are starting to see the progress of where life is and how everything has turned out even better than you were expecting. The month begins with the Sun in your 1st house of self, and you are feeling more confident, courageous, and in tune with yourself. With a Full Moon in your sister sign on April 12, relationships are also coming full circle for you now, and you are claiming your peace this month.
Mercury finally goes direct on April 7 and then enters your sign from April 16 to May 10, and this is going to clear up any miscommunications that you have been through. With Mercury now in your sign, your conversations are lively, your mind is inspiring, and you are thinking one step ahead. Before the month ends, Venus enters your sign from April 30 to June 6, and love is also moving forward for you now. Overall, this is a month where you are experiencing some happy outcomes and loyal support.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
April is a month of passion and purpose, Taurus. You are living in your abundance, and are focused on valuing yourself and the things you are bringing to fruition right now. Venus, your ruling planet, goes direct on March 12 after being retrograde in your financial house since March 1, and you are moving into the month experiencing more opportunities and also feeling more respected in what you are accumulating for yourself and standing your ground on.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, and it’s all about you right now. This Taurus Season is smoothing things out for you in love, with new relationship developments unfolding and life flourishing for you. The New Moon this month is in your sign on April 27, it’s time for a new beginning. You are truly embracing your strength in April, making things happen for yourself, and no longer doubting your future and what is possible for you.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
This month is all about the options becoming available to you now, Gemini. With your ruling planet Mercury going direct at the beginning of the month on April 7, you no longer feel as held back or out of place as you may have in the past weeks. With Mercury now direct, your thinking is clearer, and you are seeing the opportunities in your career and professional world that you may have missed before.
The more you can embrace your authenticity, the less time you will spend doubting how others perceive you, remember that this month.
On April 12, there is a Full Moon in Libra, highlighting the romance in your life and bringing forth understanding and compassion within your close relationships. You are letting go of old attachments or self-doubts that haven’t been serving your love life, and are growing closer to your own heart in the process. Before April comes to an end, Mars enters your 3rd house of communication, and you are overall leaving the month focused on your progress, your vision, and taking up space because you deserve to.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
This month is all about balancing your time and energy wisely, Cancer. You are being reminded not to overwork or overwhelm yourself in April, and to focus on doing the things that are within your control right now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career for most of the month so you are feeling really passionate about the things you are developing in your life right now, but it’s all about finding the right balance between your personal goals and your needs in your relationships as well.
The Full Moon in Libra on April 12 will be a time to devote your energy to self-care, close loved ones, and overall getting some time to decompress. You are ready to let go of the things that don’t make you feel safe or nurtured and are receiving an emotional renewal right now. The New Moon in Taurus at the end of the month is a time to focus on your intentions on your community, friendships, and aspirations in life, and to pay attention to where you can create more abundance here.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
Things are turning around for you for the better, Leo. April is a dynamic month, and you are owning your inner alchemist. With a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication on April 12, you are getting the messages you have been looking for and the mental clarity you have found is bringing closure to some of your close relationships. This month is about being flexible and trusting the changes that are happening for you right now.
On April 18, Mars enters your sign until June 17, and this is huge for you. You began the year with Mars retrograde in your sign, so you are getting the opportunity now, to rewrite some of the things that weren’t working for you at the beginning of the year. You are overcoming previous obstacles, and experiencing a breakthrough in your life this month. Before April ends, there is a New Moon in Taurus, highlighting your career, reputation, and professional life. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for what goals you want to come to fruition for you now.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
This month is all about building new foundations in your life, Virgo. You are feeling more supported and in tune with your own inner needs and interests, and it’s bringing you closer to people and systems that resonate. Your ruling planet Mercury goes direct this month on April 7 after being retrograde for the past few weeks; bringing more clarity, understanding, and compassion to your partnerships in life. You are focused on love this month and are working together with others to make your dreams come true.
Mid-month, Mars moves into your 12th house of closure and endings, and there is a journey of healing that you experience until June 17. You are motivated to understand yourself better and are looking at the past more right now in order to do so. This is a month of recovering and healing from what has been, for new foundations to be built upon. The New Moon on April 27 is a beautiful way to end the month, as you are getting glimpses of a new, abundant, adventure that is ahead of you.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
This is a big month of closure for you, Libra. The Sun is in your 7th house of love for most of April, and your heart is in the right place. With Venus, your ruling planet, going direct on April 12 after being retrograde since March 1, you are finally able to take a breath. You are not experiencing as many obstacles when it comes to communication matters and you are feeling like you have the tools you need to move forward right now.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on April 12, and you are ready to let go of what isn’t working for you. You have been through a lot recently and have gained the clarity you need to let go of old attachments. Venus moves into your house of love before the month ends, and you are leaving the month feeling more in tune with where things are moving forward for you, rather than what you are leaving behind. Your heart moves through a journey in April, and your emotions are showing you a lot.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
April is a month of success, progress, and dreams coming to fruition, Scorpio. You are focused on your health, your priorities, and creating space for the new beginnings that you are creating in your life right now. The Full Moon mid-month is a big closure moment for you, and you are owning the fact that you have healed and you are no longer the same person you were in the past. This is a month of stepping into your power and feeling supported in doing so.
Mid-month, Mars enters your 10th house of career and public life and you are shining within your purpose. Over the next month and a half, you are going to be gaining some new opportunities that will be serving your professional life and goals. This is the month to show up and to let your skills, talents, and authenticity shine. On April 17, there is a New Moon in your opposite sign, Taurus, and you are leaving the month with some pleasant surprises in store for you in love as well.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
April is a new beginning for you, Sagittarius. You are focused on putting the action and effort behind your goals, and you are being proactive within the opportunities that you are looking for right now. With a Full Moon in your 11th house of aspirations mid-month, you are letting go of the way you thought things would play out for you and are owning a more abundant version of things.
On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus, which will be highlighting your health and what your body needs more of right now. This is a New Moon to set your intentions for your everyday life and to create a new, beneficial routine that will make things easier for you at the end of the day. Before the month ends, Venus enters your 9th house of adventure, and you are leaving the month with your sights set high. Travel plans are likely, and this is a good time to create some new plans for yourself.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
April is about putting one step in front of the other with patience and dedication and trusting the decisions you are making for yourself right now, Capricorn. The Sun is in your 4th house for most of the month, and you are yearning for your safe spaces, comfort foods, and loyal people. Giving yourself more time to decompress, take care of yourself, and ground your energy is essential this month.
Mars enters your 8th house of transformation mid-month and will be fueling your need for some change, excitement, and emotional rejuvenation over the next month and a half. You are entering an impactful moment of the year for you, and you are motivated toward change right now. The New Moon at the end of the month is in a fellow earth sign, highlighting the romantic new beginnings you are entering now. Overall, this month is a process, and you are opening new doors while finding gratitude in what is here for you now.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
April is about giving yourself time to process, accept, and gain a new perspective, Aquarius. You are being guided towards friendship, connection, and community, and are understanding what may be creating the discord in your life that has been distancing you from that. The Full Moon this month is happening in Libra on April 12, and you are ready to let go of feeling like you have to do it all at once or all alone. This month is a reminder to take your time with all the experiences you want to have, trusting that they will come to fruition for you.
Mars enters your house of love and partnership on April 18, and you enter a passionate and steamy time. Romance is in the air for you as you move through the month, and you are spending more of your time with those who you want to move forward with. Venus also moves into a relationship area of your chart before April ends, and you are surrounded by love and community. Overall, this month is showing you that you are not alone and you don’t have to go through the heavy stuff alone either.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
This is a month where your heart is shining, and you are feeling in tune with the progress you have made in your life and within your relationships, Pisces. You are owning your value, your worth, and the beauty of who you are, and are ready to leave the past behind. With Mercury and Venus both going direct in Pisces this month after being retrograde in your sign for the past few weeks, you are in a better space than you have been, and there are fewer obstacles and miscommunications in your life.
You have been through a journey of understanding yourself better through your goals, perspectives, and interests, and have been committing yourself to your authenticity. On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus happening, and this New Moon is a good time for communication matters, getting your message across, and for your creative pursuits. With the clarity you feel within your mind and heart right now, you are making a lot of progress in April and feeling pleased with where life is headed.
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I thought that it was important to address this term for a couple of different reasons. One is for the reason that is mentioned in the origin story of sobergasms that I will address in just a sec. Another is because…people who are in long-term committed relationships? I think it’s pretty safe to say that, unless they both have some sort of substance abuse situation going on, most of them have sex some, if not most of the time, without alcohol (and certainly without drunkenness) being involved. Those who engage in casual/recreational sex, though? Well, I’ve got some stats included in this piece that will show you how much alcohol and copulation go hand in hand in a lot of those instances.
And although some studies say that casual sex (i.e., hook-up culture) isn’t quite as rampant as it was, even just a few years ago, at the same time, let’s not act like it isn’t still happening. Hell, every time we hop on social media, we see evidence (and sometimes fallout) of that. Plus, while many people are out here declaring that they don’t want or need marriage anymore (chile) — do you hear them saying that they feel the same way about sex?Yeah…exactly.
With all of this being said, let’s take a moment to look into what sobergasms are really all about and why, if you are sexually active and are not in anything serious, you should strongly consider having (more of) them.
The Origin Story of Sobergasms Is…
GiphyAight, so here’s the backstory of sobergasms. Last year, right around the holiday season, the sexual wellness brand Lovehoney decided to partner up with an alcohol-free drink company (CleanCo) to create a mocktail (I will share the recipe in just a sec) — you know, a cocktail that doesn’t have any alcohol in it. They did it because their UK (where they are based) research revealed that people tend to drink almost 40 percent more during the holidays (in the US, Americans reportedly drink twice as much as they usually do around that time).
If you add to that the fact that Lovehoney conducted their own study which cited that 64 percent of participants have admitted to having sex while being intoxicated and yet only 20 percent said that they actually enjoyed it.
And that was the main motivation for why Lovehoney came up with sobergasms: it’s a way to encourage people to be more intentional about going without drinking (so much) so that they can engage in the kind of sex that they will actually find to be pleasurable; especially since their findings also discovered that only 29 percent of men and 11 percent of women have consistent orgasms when they are drunk compared to 45 percent of men and 15 percent of women who do when they are sober.
As I thought about all of this, I decided to go on my own fact-finding mission about alcohol and its relationship to sex. It helped me to come up with even more reasons to cosign on sobergasms — and I’m hoping that it will do the same thing for you.
Before I share 10 interesting stats, first, the recipe for the mocktail that Lovehoney and CleanCo came up with:
Sobergasm Clean Drink
25ml fresh lime juice
50ml CleanCo Clean T
1 tbsp fresh orange juice
1 tbsp hot honey
Sea salt, chili flakes, and lime for garnish
You can click here for thorough instructions on how to make it. Over on this side of the pond, we’re pretty big on mocktails ourselves and so, if you'd like to test out some other recipes, check out “10 Spring/Summer Cocktails (& Mocktails) That Your Vagina Will Truly Enjoy” and “Sexy Sips: 8 Fall-Themed Mocktails That Are Aphrodisiacs Too.”
And while you’re pondering which mocktail you would actually like to try first, let’s get into some other reasons why oftentimes “less is best” when it comes to mixing sexual activity with alcohol consumption.
10 Stats to Keep in Mind When It Comes to Mixing Sex with Alcohol
GiphyWhen it comes to how many people partake in alcoholic beverages, Gallup cites that 65 percent of Americans who are over the age of 21 claim to do so. Out of those, the average amount of drinks that they consume on a weekly basis is around four. The preferred drink of choice? Wine (31-35 percent) with liquor being a close second (30 percent). Now factor all of this into your mind as you read the following information about alcohol and its relationship to sex:
1. One study revealed that almost 30 percent of participants were less safe when it came to their sexual decisions due to them having alcohol in their system.
2. About half of the sexual assaults that happen on college campuses involve alcohol whether it’s the perpetrator, the victim, or both.
3. Among college-aged women, when they are having sex while in a relationship, alcohol is involved 20 percent of the time. When it’s casual sex? Alcohol is involved 53 percent of the time (heavy drinking happened a whopping 36 percent of the time).
4. 42 percent of college students binge drink and 400,000 of them have sex without using a condom while consuming alcohol.
5.One study revealed that almost 72 percent of college students regretted their sexual decisions at least once. Out of the ones surveyed, almost 32 percent said that alcohol was involved when they did.
6.Of people aged 18-25, more individuals regretted having sex while having alcohol in their system than they did when it came to weed or ecstasy.
7. Women tend to participate in “non-traditional” sexual acts and masturbate more when they are intoxicated than when they are sober.
8. Although a small amount of alcohol in a woman’s system can arouse them sexually, high amounts will decrease it and can even make it harder for them to become naturally lubricated.
9. Alcohol increases the probability of having more sex partners for women.
10. Alcohol can make it more challenging for women to climax.
When you take all of this in, although I certainly appreciate how Lovehoney has brought to our attention that too much alcohol can make sex less physically pleasurable, as you can see, it can also make coitus more risky, potentially more dangerous and it can cause us to make some pretty unwise decisions, if we’re not careful as well.
And so honestly, this additional intel should further solidify why you should be uber cautious and super careful if you are going to bring alcohol into the picture when it comes to having sex with another person — again, especially if it’s recreational sex. Because even though intercourse, on average, lasts between 3-7 minutes (Google is right there), that small window of time can result in a lifetime of consequences that you may not wish to experience.
Besides, it’s not like sober sex doesn’t have its own benefits…
5 Benefits of Having Sex While You’re Completely Sober
GiphyYou know what’s interesting about the word “sober”? It doesn’t just mean that you aren’t drunk; it also means that you are “rational,” “self-controlled” and “level-headed” — and yes, when you are about to have sex with someone who you aren’t in a serious, long-term or exclusive sexual relationship with, it’s best that you are all of these things. Because while alcohol can initially make you feel like sexual activity will be more fun, sober sex has the following five proven things to offer.
1. You can better trust your decisions. Recently, I watched a video of four women who taped and posted themselves driving drunk. Moments later, all of them were ejected from the vehicle that they were in and only one survived (and she is in critical condition). Imagine if they could go back in time and go without having alcohol in their system before getting in that vehicle. SMDH.
When it comes to today’s topic, no matter what pop culture tries to tell you, any act that can potentially result in you conceiving or contracting something that doesn’t have a cure is serious as all get out. That’s why, especially when it comes to casual sex, you want to make sure that you go into the act as level-headed as possible — and you can only really do that if/when you are sober.
2. You can clearly articulate your needs and expectations. We’ve all seen a movie (or personally know someone) where a woman got tipsy and wanted to do certain sexual things; however, as alcohol began to affect her system even more, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go further or not. When you’re sober, it’s so much easier to articulate what you want/don’t want and what your expectations are. T
hat said, there are so many people who have sex-related regrets and a big part of the reason is because alcohol totally clouded their judgment and sometimes altered their thoughts and words. Definitely something to (always) keep in mind when it comes to consuming alcohol in the presence of others.
3. You’re more present. I also want to make sure that I touch on some of the things that prompted Lovehoney to come up with sobergasms in the first place. As far as the purely pleasurable side of sex goes, ask anyone who has a satisfying situation in their bedroom and I’m willing to bet that one thing that they will advise is to not overthink the experience and to remain in the moment.
When you’re intoxicated, your mind tends to be all over the place. When you’re sober-minded, it’s easier to remain focused.
4. Sex definitely tends to be more pleasurable. I’ve already shared with you that you are wetter and it’s easier for you to climax when you don’t have a lot of alcohol in your system. A part of the reason is that, since your brain is your biggest sex organ, it’s important to keep in mind that alcohol has a way of negatively affecting the communication pathways of your brain; when that happens, it can cause your moods to become erratic and you tend to become less coordinated too.
Not well-lubricated. Not climaxing. In a bad mood. Do those that sound like the keys to an awesome sexual experience? Right…absolutely not.
5. There is a lot less regret. Once you have sex with someone, you can’t take it back. That’s why it’s so important that you go into the act feeling like this is something that you really want to do (the person and the acts included); you significantly decrease the chances of you having this type of certainty when you’re not sober. And sexual regret can sometimes be one of the hardest things to get past.
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Sobergasms. Although there seem to be new terms that come up daily, one that I can definitely get behind is that. Because it encourages everyone to be sober-minded and sexually responsible in order to ultimately have a more fulfilling sexual experience.
And I will certainly raise a mocktail to that.
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